Author's Note: Enjoy, a Kevin Lucas story.

THINNER

SUMMARY:
He stood in front of the bathroom mirror and stared at his reflection. His hands shook as he pinched the skin on his stomach. His breath was heavy and a tear trickled down his face.

Why couldn't he be like his brothers? Have a lean frame like Joe or a wiry body like Nick? Why did his thighs look humongous and why was he so ugly?

He put his hands to his eyes and sobbed. Pulling his fingers away he looked at his reddened eyelids in the mirror, coughed a few times, and then wiped his hands on his pants. He stared at himself hard and he decided one thing.

He needed to become thinner.

1.

He breathed in. He breathed out. He stared at his empty reflection and touched his stomach gently, pulling the layer of fat. He hated it.

He hated himself.

He hated the way he looked. He hated the way his muscles were practically nonexistent. He hated the way people compared him to his brothers.

He hated it. He simply stared at himself. His eyes were empty, his ears too pointy, his nose shaped oddly.

But mostly... the fat. It leered at him, dripped over the side of his pants. It clung to the sides of his thighs.

He couldn't get rid of it.

But he needed to.

"Kevin!" came Joe's call.

He sighed and pulled his shirt back on. "I'm coming."

It was just another day and he wondered if he'd live through it.

"Dude, Kevin, are you sure that's all you want?" Nick eyes him, confused.

"Yeah, just a salad please-dressing on the side. And a water," Kevin tells the waiter who scrawls it down. "I'm not that hungry," he explains to his brothers.

"Yeah, okay," Nick shrugs absently. "I want the chicken tenders and the French fries."

"I want the large pizza and a large Coke," Joe tells the waiter, snapping his menu shut.

Kevin sighs.

"Are you sure you don't want more, Kevin?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

Kevin picks at his salad, hoping his brothers won't notice.

Unfortunately, they do.

"Dude, Kevin are you sick or something?" Joe wants to know as he shoves his face full of pizza.

If only you knew, are Kevin's thoughts. But he nods yes. "I'm just not hungry," he says, as his stomach omits a growl.

"Yeah...um, okay," Nick says, trying to make the situation a little less awkward.

"I'll eat later," he promises.

A later that will never come.

He stands on the scale and looks at the weight. 157.

He needs to lose it.

He hasn't eaten all day and feels lightheaded but he can't bring himself to. He needs to lose the fat.

Kevin stares at his reflection again in the hotel bathroom. He slaps his hand across the mirror in frustration, trying to keep himself from sobbing. He doesn't want his brothers to hear him.

He needs to lose the weight.

A thought comes to his mind but he pushes it away. It's dangerous.

The thought remains there.

It's only once, he assures himself. It's only once.

He walks to the toilet which has never seemed so dangerous before. He looks at the bowl and crouches over it, not sure of what to do. Shoving his fingers into his mouth, he feels himself retch immediately and lets the contents of his stomach spill out.

Heat burns in his nose, tears are hot against his cheeks.

Only once, he assures himself.

If only.

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