Pairings:This chapter contains Hisagi/Kira, Hitsugaya x Hinamori, slight Hisagi x Hinamori, Renji x Rukia, and a reference Ichigo x Rukia
Rating: M
Warnings:There is also some OOC, strong language, talk of war, references to violence, and mild sexual content (nothing graphic). There are also some errors in here that I most likely didn't catch, I'll probably reread this story and be so disgusted with myself.
Disclaimer: After eleven chapters of this story and two prequels, I still don't own Bleach, Tite Kubo does and always will.

Ukitake stared blankly as he got the news as to what had happened, Ikkaku sitting by his side as silence filled the office. Everything that they had been waiting for, everything that they had wished would happen was now upon them. After countless weeks of waiting, they had finally found their answer they were finished.

"They're coming home," Ukitake breathed. "They're finally coming home…"

Ikkaku watched as the emotion was overtaking his captain. "Both of them? Abarai and Hisagi both survived the whole thing?"

Ukitake took a deep breath. "They're coming back… in a week they'll be back with us…"

Ikkaku raised and eyebrow. "A week?"

"There are many injuries that have to be taken care of. Isane-kun is going to be hard at work for the next week, and Hisagi is going to have to write up the official report…" Ukitake rose from his seat as he walked across the room to look out a window. "This is it; this is only the beginning until we're able to put an end to this madness…"

"And what do we do now?" the lieutenant watched as his captain continued to look at the rain that was falling against the window, the first roll of thunder rolling through the atmosphere.

Ukitake looked out into the world, something was finally going right. For the first time in his whole term of being the 1st Division captain he was doing his mentor proud. He felt the tears well up in his eyes as he could feel the change fall upon them. There was only one last thing to do.

"I want you to go to the 6th Division and summon Byakuya," Ukitake watched as his lieutenant nodded. "It's extremely urgent…"

Ikkaku walked toward the door, Ukitake's attention going back to the rainy day. "This is it, sensei. Maybe you didn't make the wrong choice…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi lay on a bed in the corner as he held the reports in front of him. The final death toll had come to nine hundred. He closed his eyes as he held the pen tighter, remembering what had happened in the room that day. He could still hear Aizen's words, still feel his presence. His stomach churned as he knew that this wasn't the end of him. He was going to be back.

"Feeling better?" Isane asked as she walked over to him.

"Yeah…" he answered softly.

She sat next to him as he tried to absorb himself into the report. "It's weird; the poison barely took a toll on you…"

"I guess I have Abarai to thank for that," Hisagi sighed. "I owe him my life… and you too, Kotetsu…"

The lieutenant blushed. "I was just the one they chose to lead the 4th Division during the war… I'm not a hero like you…"

Hisagi looked at the number that was on the paper again. "Hero?" he closed his eyes as he thought back to two days ago, remembering what he and Renji had to do as they progressed further into the castle, the blood was still on his body. He shuddered as he thought of the nine hundred souls, all of them losing their lives. "Am I really a hero?"

Isane nodded. "You are to me… and to Abarai-taichou…" she shook her head. "I'm the monster, I made you this beast…"

"You didn't make me anything, we went over this…"

"I was the one who got the heart," her voice was quiet as she tried to explain it.

"I was the one who got myself stabbed. If anything, I was the one who made myself this creature I've become," he closed his eyes as he remembered those words, the taste of his blood on his lips.

"Why? Why attack you directly? I could simply go back to the Soul Society and kill that worthless wretch that you care so deeply about. The one that Gin had such high hopes for. The one who was in love with him… what was his name…?"

Hisagi winced as he remembered those words. He was gone. In a single moment, he had absorbed more of Aizen's power, weakening whatever the man had previously. He placed his hand up against his chest feeling his heart beat. He could feel Aizen with every second that passed; he could feel the demonic energy rolling through him. It was never going to be his, no matter what he told himself.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Isane asked.

Hisagi nodded. "Yeah…"

She moved to place her hand on his chest. "Is it alright today?"

"It's been better…" Hisagi smiled as he looked into the lieutenant's eyes. "Going to war only months after a heart transplant probably wasn't the best idea…"

"But you seem to be doing well, you haven't lost it yet," she removed her hand from his chest. "Your blood tests came back alright, the poison is completely depleted…" she looked at the files. "All of your wounds seem to be healing… seems like you're in pretty good shape…"

"For once," he took a deep breath.

Isane looked up from the files. "Are you excited to go back?"

"Honestly?" he watched as she nodded. "Kind of… it would be nice to see the world again."

"You mean Kira-taichou…" Isane smiled.

"I do miss him… it would have been nice to have him here with me," he looked down at the files. "Not necessarily to fight… just to talk to someone…"

Isane smiled broader. "You have feelings for him…"

Hisagi shook his head. "No… he's like a brother to me… you don't have feelings for your brother," he fell back on the bed.

The lieutenant smiled as she walked away. "Whatever you say…"

Hisagi looked down at the papers as he thought deeper about what Aizen had said. It was when he threatened Kira when I attacked him? I didn't even think. I just did it. Could it be? Could I be falling in love with Kira? Or was I in love with him the whole time?

He found it difficult to calculate stats, to write down the report. He couldn't get Kira off of his mind. What he had predicted was now truth. He was going to chose Hinamori. He was going to stay loyal to what his heart thought was right. But now he was- no- had fallen in love with Kira Izuru. The choice that he had to make was finalized. The decision had been made.

One more week, and then I'll be back, he continued to write the report of the war. And then all of this madness will be over. Then I'll see you again…

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira sat at his desk as he looked out the window, Sentarou sitting across the room. He couldn't work. He couldn't focus. The countdown had started. They only had a week before the fraction of the men that they had sent returned from Hueco Mundo. Kira looked around the office as he remembered the day in the 9th Division, the day outside of the 1st Division, the last moment he saw Hisagi before he ran off to his destruction, all of those moments only made it more obvious to him.

"You alright, sir?" Sentarou asked as he looked over at his captain, Kira slowly awakening from his daydreams.

"Yeah, I'm fine…" Kira looked out the window deeper. "I can't believe that this much time has passed, seems like only yesterday I locked myself up in this office, not wanting to see him off, yet now…" he shook his head. "He's back… he's alive…"

"Exciting isn't it?" Sentarou asked, watching his captain fall back into another stupor.

Kira took a deep breath. When you left I gave you a choice… a choice between me and a woman that you obviously love. Between two people who are going to ruin you. I would rather you be alone and suffer then have you fall into another one of the depressive pits that have become synonymous with your name. Please, let us go…

He could feel the tears that were forming in his eyes as he thought about everything that he had done to him. How could he say that he loved him when he had used his lover to no end? How could he even look at him after everything had occurred? They were going to hate each other, they were going to avoid each other, everything that they ever had, everything that they could have had, everything they wanted was all burnt before Kira's eyes as he remembered his lips up against Hinamori's. The sin was never to be forgotten, no matter how he wished it would be.

"Are you going to go see him after he comes back?" Sentarou asked.

"It would be inappropriate," Kira answered quickly.

"Inappropriate? Taichou, come on…"

"What are you trying to say, Sentarou?" Kira asked as he looked at his lieutenant.

"I know how you feel about him…" Kira's heart stopped. "I know how much you've wanted him. Even before you were a captain I could see it. The two of you were attached at the hip…"

"And how do I feel about him exactly?" Kira asked with the snort.

"You love him…"

Kira froze in place as he felt the tears well up in his eyes. Everything went before his eyes. After all of the years ranging from when he first saw him, to the last captains' meeting, he knew that his feelings couldn't be hidden. He knew that he was in love with him. His body craved him. He only felt whole when he was around him. He closed his eyes tighter as he felt the first tear roll down his cheek as he knew that he would have to give it all up. He would never be with him, no matter how much he would hate himself for it. The last kiss that they shared, he would treasure for the rest of his days. It was never going to happen again. That part of him had died the day that he turned to Hinamori.

"I do…" he breathed as he closed his eyes tightly. And that's why I have to let him go… and maybe one day he'll return to me. One day, we'll have the happiness that we deserve. And I'll love him forever…

He looked down at his paperwork as he closed his eyes. Everything was coming to an end. No matter how heart breaking he found it.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Rukia sat at the desk of the 13th Division, continuing to filter through the paperwork. Her mind was somewhere else, she couldn't focus. Every hour made her anxious, every minute made her want time to speed up. Weeks, she had been sitting alone in the office for weeks. The work piled up, the office had several seated officers filtering in and out to see how she was doing. Not one of them thought that she was going to be able to handle the work. They all still thought of her as the unseated officer who had slept with the new captain to get the lieutenant position.

When the hell are you going to come back, Renji? She couldn't focus on the work anymore as she heard footsteps coming toward the door. "Just come in and leave the work on the desk and then go away…"

As the door opened, she wished she hadn't said those words. "Is that anyway to address a captain?"

She looked up as he heart stopped beating. "Nii-sama!" she jumped to her feet as she walked quickly across the room, embracing him tightly. "I thought you were going to be spending all day with Ukitake-soutaichou again."

"Something came up," he watched as she backed away from him. "A mission."

"He sent you on a mission?" Rukia was confused.

"Not me, Rukia: you," she could barely breathe as he said those words.

"Me? I can't possibly go on a mission. There's paperwork, the division, I can't possibly go on a mission while Renji is still at war," her voice was filled with desperation.

"You're worried about him, I understand that. But you're the only one who is equipped for this mission. Others could work, but you're the one who would be the most efficient," Kuchiki looked deeper into her eyes. "This is about the 9th Division…"

"What about the 9th Division? Is this about their lieutenant?"

"Or lack there of," the captain sighed. "We found the perfect man for the job, but you have to go get him. You remember him… Kurosaki Ichigo."

Rukia's body grew heavy as she heard the name. "You want me to bring Ichigo here to be a lieutenant?"

"Precisely."

"Kurosaki Ichigo? To be Hisagi-taichou's lieutenant?" Rukia took a deep breath. "When do I leave?"

"You leave as soon as possible. We need him here before the troops return," the captain's orders seemed absolute. "Rukia… you know that we need all of the positions filled. You have to understand that a division with just a captain can struggle as much as a division with just a lieutenant. You should know that, after all you were part of this division after Kaien died."

Rukia took a deep breath. "He's a human…"

"He can contain Aizen," the captain explained. "You know how strong he is. You know what he can do for us if we use him properly. Rukia, this can change everything. The next war may not be as catastrophic. You'll never have to fear that you'll lose Renji ever again."

"Don't pull Renji into this! Don't pull my emotions into this!" Rukia shook her head. "Nii-sama, you can't ask me to do this. I can't leave my duties and go off to the world of the living to fetch some boy. Yet you have the nerve to throw my fiancée into this!"

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you had feelings for this boy…"

"How dare you? I love my fiancée!" the lieutenants were full of venom as she watched the captain smile softly. "To think that I could ever have feelings for a human after I've found the love of my life is something I never expected from you of all people. What next? You think that I only slept with Renji because I knew that he was going to become a captain and I knew that sleeping with him would get me the position of his lieutenant?"

"I never said that. I just wanted you to go get Ichigo. I wasn't accusing you of anything I was just asking?"

"You don't see me asking you act the way you do," she shook her head. "I don't have a choice do I?"

"Yes, you do… you always have a choice no matter what I ask of you, Rukia," he walked closer to her. "I didn't mean to set you off like that…"

She fought the tears that were coming. "Why are you being so nice all of a sudden? You weren't like this before I left… and then Renji brings me back and you're different. You've changed…"

"The situation changed," he shrugged.

"If I do this… I want you to promise me that you will never send me on a mission alone with Ichigo…"

He didn't hesitate as he heard the emotion in her voice. "I promise…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Matsumoto walked back into the 10th Division office as she looked around to see that he was not in the office, her body falling up against the door as she thought about what had occurred. Hisagi, the man who she though Hinamori loved more than anything was now non-existent in her heart. Matsumoto took a deep breath as she closed her eyes tightly, the bottle of sake in her hand.

"This is the world that you're coming back to, Shuuhei. It's nothing more bullshit how this had to happen to you," she closed her eyes as she brought the bottle to her lips. "Whatever happened to the words I love you? What ever happened to saying those words and meaning them? Why are we always hurting the ones we love?"

She backed away from the door as she backed away from the door as she heard footsteps come closer.

"Who is it?" she asked.

The door opened. "Matsumoto-san?"

She looked up to see the 3rd Division captain. "Kira? What are you doing here?"

"I begged Sentarou to let me get some fresh air. I had a feeling that you were going to be alone here…" he moved to sit next to her. "Do you have enough of that for two people?"

"I have enough of this for the whole Gotei 13," she breathed as she pulled out another bottle. "Trying to forget something?"

"Trying to forget the pain that I caused someone…" he breathed as he looked at the bottle. "No matter what I do, I'm always hurting him. I guess I just wanted to cope with the agony the same way that he does…"

"Drinking?" Matsumoto asked.

"Isai-san drinks…" he took a deep breath. "I wanted to see why he does it. I wanted to see if it helps. I wanted to see if it could put me in the same mindset. I wanted to see if I could feel him…"

Matsumoto shook her head. "You love him, and he loves you…"

"How do you know that? He has always loved women, and women have always loved him. How could they not? He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my whole entire life…" he took a sip of the alcohol. "I always wanted him to look at me…"

"Then you've got to tell him…"

"What's the use? I've hurt him. I used his lover to the point where she turned to Hitsugaya-taichou for comfort…" he shook his head. "I don't think he should even have to look at me… how could he when I'm so disgusting?"

"Disgusting?" Matsumoto asked. "You kissed Hinamori, that's all you did. You just have to think of why you did it…"

Kira took another sip. "Because I wanted to taste the love that he's given to her… I wanted to taste what that felt like…" he sighed. "I guess I wanted too much… bit off more than I could chew and then choked while trying to swallow it."

"And what are you trying to accomplish now?"

"A Hisagi-free diet. I won't look at Hisagi, I won't think of Hisagi, nothing will happen between me and Hisagi…"

"You're not going to look at him when he looks the way he does. Kira, better shinigami then you have tried. I don't think this is such a good idea…"

"It's final… I'm not going to look at him when he comes back..."

Matsumoto smiled. She knew everything that he said was a lie.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"So how are you going to break the news to Hisagi?" Hitsugaya asked as he walked along Hinamori's side.

"I don't know yet," she looked at her feet. "I guess I still have feelings for him…"

"That's understandable. He as your first love after Aizen betrayed us. You're always going to have feelings for him," he looked into her eyes. "But now you have to choose."

"Choose between you: the best friend I've ever had and Hisagi: some understanding, gorgeous, tan, masculine, muscular…"

"I get it," Hitsugaya scoffed. "Hisagi's hot…"

"Hitsugaya-kun," she breathed as she stopped walking. "I know what I want now. It's you. You've always been there for me, you've always understood me. How could I give that up for Hisagi?"

The 10th Division captain took a deep breath. "You sure…?"

"Yeah, I am…" she wrapped her arm around his shoulder as they walked side by side. "I'm already getting over Hisagi as we speak. I wouldn't have slept with you if I wasn't sure."

She looked forward as she thought back on the day in the cell when her lips had touched Hisagi's. That was never supposed to happen. She was never supposed to taste him. He was always going to belong to Kira. So she walked away from him, knowing she could never look back. Everything she and Hisagi had was gone.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Renji moved over to Hisagi watching him continue with the report. "How's the report going?"

Hisagi looked up at him with a smile. "I still don't know why you're not helping me. You were in this war too."

"I'm not as focused as you are," he sat on the bed, watching the 9th Division captain's eyes leave the files to look up into his, Renji's heart stopping as he saw the frozen sorrow within them. "You're thinking about something aren't you?"

Hisagi looked out into the night sky. "Going back… do you feel as though everything's going to be the same?"

Renji shrugged. "I guess not. We've been gone for weeks, we've accomplished so much, if we even think that everything's going to be the same, we're being delusional…"

"I don't know if I belong there anymore. I've been gone for so long… maybe they're better off…"

"Better off? What do you think happened while we were gone? Do you think Kyouraku became supreme ruler or some bullshit along those lines?" Renji watched as Hisagi looked away from him. "Whatever man you were before, whatever creature that you thought you were, that's all dead and gone. You've buried him in Hueco Mundo. You're going to get through this…"

Hisagi took a deep breath. "You seem confident…"

"That's because I buried the man that I was here as well. I'm not the weak, immature child I was anymore. No one is going to push me around; no one is going to play me ever again," Renji took a deep breath. "You should do the same."

"Bury the man I was and move on?" Hisagi asked. "You make it sound easy…"

"It is easy. I promise you that when get back there everything is going to go our way. No more pain, no more heartache, no more despair, you will feel whole again. I promise you that," Renji breathed.

"Like you said: that old me is dead and gone…" Hisagi shook his head as he looked at the paperwork on his lap. "Dead and gone…"

Renji looked out at the night sky. Starting now we'll never suffer again. That chapter has closed. Everything that we knew it like you said, Hisagi: dead and gone.

This was the last chapter of Dead and Gone and I hope you all enjoyed this story. But before you get too upset, the sequel is in the works called Broken Wings (the long awaited story.) This story will go deeper into issues such as: Hisagi/Kira, Rukia's potential feelings for Ichigo, Aizen's survival, the aftermath of the war, and lots of death. That should be ready to post soon (my guess is October).

Like what you read feel free to PM me a request (see profile for details.)

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