what i go to school for, a naruto fanfic

title: what i go to school for
author: ohwhatsherface
pairings: SasuSaku with mentions of NaruIno, ShikaKarin, NejiTen, KibaHina… :D
warnings: AU, prom fever, too much texting, and I made Sasuke and Karin related
disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or Holly Would You Turn Me On

…

9:04 AM

To: CherryLips0
From: BeautyQueen69

Dress and shoes: three hundred dollars (surprisingly enough, given that this is Ino Yamanaka).

Ticket: ninety dollars.

Limo payment: forty dollars.

A totally freaking awesome night with my home skillets at our wicked lovely prom?

PRICELESS, BITCH!

SEVEN DAYS UNTIL PROM. SEVEN DAYS.

…

9:07 AM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: CherryLips0

Oh sweetness, Ino, did you come up with that on your own?

AND I AM NOT GOING TO PROM.

Go away.

…

9:09 AM

To: CherryLips0
From: BeautyQueen69

…OH, I'M SORRY.

I THOUGHT YOU JUST SAID YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PROM.

EXCUSE ME?

…

9:10 AM

To: CherryLips0
From: BeautyQueen69

HEY.

DON'T IGNORE ME.

…

9:11 AM

To: CherryLips0
From: BeautyQueen69

SAKURA EFFIN HARUNO.

ANSWER ME NOW.

…

9:14 AM

To: Uchiha2
From: OriginalPrankster91

Dude.

It's not fair.

Why do 14354574211 girls keep asking Shikamaru to prom?!

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

…

9:18 AM

To: OriginalPrankster91
From: Uchiha2

…it's because you're an idiot.

But it's not your fault.

Or well yeah, it is.

…

9:20 AM

To: Uchiha2
From: OriginalPrankster91

It's because you say asshole things like THAT that Sakura-chan isn't going to prom with you.

LOSER.

…

9:23 AM

To: OriginalPrankster91
From: Uchiha2

Shut the hell up, idiot.

And besides, I haven't even asked her to prom.

…

9:25 AM

To: 10-10
From: BeautyQueen69

THERE IS A BIT OF A CRISIS.

A BIG BIT.

VERY LARGE.

LIKE YOUR ASS IN TENTH GRADE BIG.

OH MY BAD DID I JUST SAY THAT?

…

9:28 AM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: 10-10

Don't you have school? DO YOU WORK FOR ONCE, HOLY CRAP.

And okay, you have a lot of freaking nerve, loser, ripping on my former ass.

I am in the middle of studying for my exams and here you are. EXISTING.

WELL STOP, INO. STOP IT NOW.

But don't because then we'd all be very sad.

What's the issue?!

…

9:31 AM

To: 10-10
From: BeautyQueen69

Sorry, sorry. My mind just can't forget the time you broke your chair – AND I DON'T CARE IF IT WAS BECAUSE YOU WERE BALANCING ON TWO LEGS.

Anyway, Sakura said she's not going to prom.

Just like… no.

…

9:35 AM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: 10-10

WHAT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S NOT GOING TO PROM?!

EVEN I AM GOING TO YOUR PROM.

…

10:02 AM

To: CherryLips0
From: KibaIsCool32

Hey, Pretty Lady!

I heard you're dateless for prom!

…

10:05 AM

To: KibaIsCool32
From: CherryLips0

I'm having trouble taking you seriously because:

a) What the fudge is up with your name – "KibaIsCool32"? REALLY, KIBA?
b) You just called me "Pretty Lady", you loser.

…

10:07 AM

To: CherryLips0
From: KibaIsCool32

YEAH WELL.

Anyway, your insults shall not deter me.

Wanna go to prom with me, Sakura?

…

10:10 AM

To: KibaIsCool32
From: CherryLips0

Er, that's sweet, Kiba, but:

a) You're asking over a text message. HAVE SOME CLASS.
b) I am not going to prom.
c) You're already going with Hinata, dumbass.

…

10:12 AM

To: CherryLips0
From: KibaIsCool32

…Uh.

THOSE ARE ALL JUST TECHNICALITIES.

And if Sasuke asked over a text message, I bet you'd just forward it to your little girlfriends and flail.

…

10:14 AM

To: KibaIsCool32
From: CherryLips0

STFU KIBA.

I HATE YOU.

…

10:19 AM

To: Uchiha2
From: Lazy1

Hey babe.

Whatcha wearing?

…

10:23 AM

To: Lazy1
From: Uchiha2

Dude.

What the fuck.

…

10:25 AM

To: Uchiha2
From: Lazy1

Aw, fml. This is lame.

Sorry, Sasuke. I was texting your sister and I accidentally pressed your name.

Yeah.

Delete that message please and we'll pretend this never happened?

…

10:28 AM

To: Lazy1
From: Uchiha2

You talk like that to Karin? Wow, what a slut.

And are you taking her to prom?

Seriously?

…

10:30 AM

To: Uchiha2
From: Lazy1

Well duh, she is my girlfriend at the moment.

What about you? Got a date?

…

10:32 AM

To: Lazy1
From: Uchiha2

I don't think I'm going to prom.

…

10:34 AM

To: Uchiha2
From: Lazy1

Dude.

What?

…

10:35 AM

To: Hinacakes63
From: CherryLips0

I'd like to start by stating that I did nothing wrong.

Your boyfriend asked me to prom.

BUT I DID NOTHING AND SAID NO, OBVIOUSLY.

…

10:38 AM

To: CherryLips0
From: Hinacakes63

Yeah.

About that.

Me and Ino sorta asked him to.

What is this that I hear that you're not going to prom?

DIDN'T YOU ALREADY BUY YOUR TICKET?

…

10:40 AM

To: Hinacakes63
From: CherryLips0

…I don't understand your logic.

Why would you tell your boyfriend to ask me to prom?

THAT MAKES NO SENSE.

And yes I did, but that's totally irrelevant.

…

10:41 AM

To: KibaIsCool34
From: BeautyQueen69

ASK SAKURA TO PROM?

…

10:43 AM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: KibaIsCool34

You and Hinata already asked me, moron.

I tried. She said no.

But she couldn't even be nice. She was really bitchy and smart over what could have and should have been a simple "no."

TCH.

…

10:44 AM

To: Lazy1
From: BeautyQueen69

ASK SAKURA TO PROM?

…

10:46 AM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: Lazy1

I have a girlfriend, moron.

But I guess I wouldn't mind taking two girls…

Take that up with Karin?

…

10:49 AM

To: Lazy1
From: BeautyQueen69

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO YOU.

Why are you such a slut?

Never mind, Shikamaru, don't ask Sakupants to prom.

…

10:51 AM

To: Neji007
From: BeautyQueen69

ASK SAKURA TO PROM?

…

10:54 AM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: Neji007

I don't even go to your school anymore.

Dumbass.

…

10:56 AM

To: Neji007
From: BeautyQueen69

Oh yeah.

I totally forgot.

WELL WHATEVER, YOU PRISS.

Knowing you, she'd miss prom with how long it takes you to get ready!

…

10:57 AM

To: Neji007
From: BeautyQueen69

OH, BURNED YOU SO BAD, NEJI.

…

10:58 AM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: Neji007

Piss off, Yamanaka.

Some of us are thinking about their educations.

…

10:59 AM

To: OriginalPrankster91
From: BeautyQueen69

ASK SAKURA TO PROM?

…

11:01 AM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: OriginalPrankster91

…huh?

I'm going with you, idiot.

…

11:02 AM

To: OriginalPrankster91
From: BeautyQueen69

SHUT UP AND TAKE ONE FOR THE TEAM.

…

11:03 AM

To: Uchiha2
From: BeautyQueen69

ASK SAKURA TO PROM?

…

11:05 AM

To: Uchiha2
From: BeautyQueen69

OMG IT'S YOU.

YEAH, DOUBLE TIME.

ASK SAKURA TO PROM?

…

11:06 AM

To: Uchiha2
From: BeautyQueen69

OI.

UCHIHA.

…

11:07 AM

To: Uchiha2
From: BeautyQueen69

SASUKE.

…

11:08 AM

To: Uchiha2
From: BeautyQueen69

SASUKE EFFIN UCHIHA.

OI.

HEY.

YOU.

HEY. HEY. HEY.

…

11:09 AM

To: Uchiha2
From: BeautyQueen69

You're a total douche bag.

…

11:11 AM

To: CherryLips0
From: Cutie-Karin66

Yo.

So I heard you're not going to prom.

What's up with that?

…

11:14 AM

To: Cutie-Karin66
From: CherryLips0

Hey.

And nope, not going.

Can't pick a limo, can't pick a dress, can't pick a table.

It's all so troublesome.

…

11:17 AM

To: CherryLips0
From: Cutie-Karin66

Ew, you've been hanging out with my boyfriend too much.

And I think you forgot "don't have a date."

LOL.

…

11:19 AM

To: Cutie-Karin66
From: CherryLips0

…THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE YOU.

Whatever.

You're not helping the case.

…

11:21 AM

To: CherryLips0
From: Cutie-Karin66

Nah, I'm just kidding.

Why aren't you going with Sasuke?

…

11:22 AM

To: CherryLips0
From: Cutie-Karin66

Sakura?

…

11:23 AM

To: Hinacakes63
From: 10-10

Maybe we can call Lee up to ask her?

She totally wouldn't have the heart to say no!

…

11:25 AM

To: 10-10
From: Hinacakes63

That would work if he wasn't off in the middle of nowhere portaging.

Sigh.

OF ALL TIMES FOR LEE TO DISAPPEAR.

…

11:28 AM

To: Hinacakes63
From: 10-10

Well did you ask anyone else?

Naruto?

Kiba?

Shikamaru?

ANYONE?

…

11:30 AM

To: 10-10
From: Hinacakes63

They all have dates.

I don't understand why she won't go.

I mean… blah.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE WON'T GO.

…

11:31 AM

To: Hinacakes63
From: 10-10

SERIOUSLY.

…

11:32 AM

To: 10-10
From: Hinacakes63

SERIOUSLY.

…

11:33 AM

To: OriginalPrankster123
From: BeautyQueen69

So I have come to a conclusion.

I'm not going to prom unless you can make your Best Friend ask my Best Friend to prom.

Seriously.

…

11:34 AM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: OriginalPrankster123

Seriously?

…

11:35 AM

To: OriginalPrankster123
From: BeautyQueen69

Seriously.

…

11:36 AM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: OriginalPrankster123

…balls.

…

11:49 AM

To: CherryLips0
From: Lazy1

You're seriously not going to prom?

Why don't you just be the one to ask Sasuke?

…

11:53 AM

To: Lazy1
From: CherryLips0

EXCUSE ME, BUT WHAT THE HELL DOES SASUKE HAVE TO DO WITH ME NOT GOING TO PROM?

I don't have a dress.

And it's too late to fit into someone's limo.

And… yeah.

And even if I wanted to go with Sasuke, hypothetically, I totally refuse to be the one to ask.

HMPH.

…

11:58 AM

To: CherryLips0
From: Lazy1

Oh shut up, you know Ino and Hinata would squish you in for sure.

And besides, Sasuke has a car.

…

11:59 AM

To: Lazy1
From: CherryLips0

I AM NOT GOING WITH SASUKE, DOUCHE BAG.

…

12:02 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: 10-10

HEY.

SASUKE.

HEY.

…

12:04 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: 10-10

UCHIHA.

LISTEN.

…

12:05 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: 10-10

UCHIHA.

REPLY.

…

12:06 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: 10-10

I'M NOT KIDDING AROUND.

ANSWER ME.

…

12:07 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: 10-10

UCHIHA OMFG.

THIS IS A LIFE/DEATH SITUATION.

SORTA.

ANSWER NOW.

…

12:08 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: 10-10

…I don't like you.

…

12:21 PM

To: Cutie-Karin66
From: BeautyQueen69

Yo, crisis at hand.

Your brother and my best friend both totally suck.

Make him ask her to prom!

…

12:24 PM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: Cutie-Karin66

Obviously I've tried.

I want Sakura at prom, too.

Winning Prom Queen wouldn't be as fun without her there.

…

12:26 PM

To: Cutie-Karin66
From: BeautyQueen69

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

CUZ YOU KNOW.

I AM GOING TO WIN PROM QUEEN.

…

12:28 PM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: Cutie-Karin66

HA!

YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT, BLONDIE.

…

12:30 PM

To: Cutie-Karin66
From: BeautyQueen69

EAT MY SHORTS, RED.

I'M GONNA BE PROM QUEEN.

BELIEVE IT.

…

12:31 PM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: Cutie-Karin66

…I win this round on the grounds that you quoted Naruto.

FYL.

…

12:32 PM

To: Cutie-Karin66
From: BeautyQueen69

Ew, I did.

FML.

…

12:45 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: OriginalPrankster123

Dude.

Ino's totally gonna shaft me if I don't get you to ask Sakura-chan to prom.

So…

ASK HER?

…

12:48 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: OriginalPrankster123

SASUCAKES?

…

12:51 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: OriginalPrankster123

DUDE.

NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE IGNORING ME.

…

12:52 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: OriginalPrankster123

BASTARD.

…

12:55 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: OriginalPrankster123

SASUKE.

…

12:58 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: OriginalPrankster123

I hate you.

…

1:09 PM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: KibaIsCool34

What about Shino?

He's cool.

…

1:11 PM

To: KibaIsCool34
From: BeautyQueen69

But he's the DJ!

As much as I love Sakupants, Prom needs him more than she does.

…

1:12 PM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: KibaIsCool34

Fine.

Well what about Chouji?

…

1:15 PM

To: KibaIsCool34
From: BeautyQueen69

Tch, I asked earlier.

He has a college girlfriend, did you know that?

How does Chouji get a hottie out of culinary school?

THAT'S JUST A DREAM COME TRUE.

THIS IS BULL.

…

1:17 PM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: KibaIsCool34

Aw, blondie. Don't worry.

It's not like you're alone or anything.

…

1:20 PM

To: KibaIsCool34
From: BeautyQueen69

It's not that.

It's just like…

WHAT THE HELL CAN NARUTO COOK?

RAMEN?

Lame. Sigh.

…

1:24 PM

To: BeautyQueen69
From: KibaIsCool34

Yo, Yamanaka.

SHUT UP.

…

1:37 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: Hinacakes63

Hey, Sasuke!

What's up?

…

1:40 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: Hinacakes63

Sasuke?

…

1:42 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: Hinacakes63

Okay you obviously see through my plans.

I'll be straightforward then:

ASK SAKURA TO PROM.

…

1:47 PM

To: Neji007
From: 10-10

Remember when you asked me to prom?

…

1:49 PM

To: 10-10
From: Neji007

Honestly?

No. Not really.

…

1:50 PM

To: Neji007
From: 10-10

We're over.

…

1:52 PM

To: 10-10
From: Neji007

Wow, I was joking.

Yes, I shouted it over the balcony in the front foyer.

It wasn't my fault though.

…

1:54 PM

To: Neji007
From: 10-10

What do you mean IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT?!

WHAT, NEJI?

…

1:56 PM

To: 10-10
From: Neji007

Well Lee was the one who told you to look up at me when we were up there.

He was the one who made the scene.

Not me.

…

1:57 PM

To: Neji007
From: 10-10

We're over.

…

1:58 PM

To: 10-10
From: Neji007

Well it's not like I was unhappy!

…

1:59 PM

To: 10-10
From: Neji007

Tenten.

…

2:00 PM

To: 10-10
From: Neji007

Ugh, fml.

…

2:03 PM

To: CherryLips0
From: Uchiha2

Oi, I need to talk to you.

Come outside.

…

2:05 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: CherryLips0

Can't.

Kurenai-sensei is lecturing.

…

2:06 PM

To: CherryLips0
From: Uchiha2

Go to prom with me.

…

2:07 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: CherryLips0

…that's it?

…

2:09 PM

To: CherryLips0
From: Uchiha2

What do you mean "that's it?" you annoying woman?

…

2:12 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: CherryLips0

EXACTLY THAT.

NO.

I WON'T GO TO PROM WITH YOU, ASSHOLE.

…

2:15 PM

To: CherryLips0
From: Uchiha2

What the hell is wrong with you?

My inbox is full of annoying idiots demanding I ask you to prom.

…

2:17 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: CherryLips0

YOU ASKED ME BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE TELLING YOU TO?!

SCREW YOU, SASUKE.

…

2:20 PM

To: CherryLips0
From: Uchiha2

Ah, shut up.

The message has been sitting in my outbox for the past… while.

I didn't really know what to say.

…

2:22 PM

To: CherryLips0
From: Uchiha2

Sakura.

…

2:23 PM

To: CherryLips0
From: Uchiha2

Sakura.

…

2:24 PM

To: CherryLips0
From: Uchiha2

Oi, Haruno.

…

2:25 PM

To: CherryLips0
From: Uchiha2

SAKURA.

…

2:26 PM

To: CherryLips0
From: Uchiha2

Yo.

Sakura.

Reply.

…

2:27 PM

To: CherryLips0
From: Uchiha2

Sakura, you annoying woman.

Answer me.

…

2:29 PM

To: CherryLips0
From: Uchiha2

Sigh. Dammit.

Okay so:

When you gonna give it up?

You're giving me such a rush.

Come on Sakura, would you come to prom?

(With me?)

…

2:30 PM

To: Uchiha2
From: CherryLips0

LMAO AT YOUR FAIL OF QUOTING ALL TIME LOW.

It almost flowed. Almost.

But okay.

Fine.

Yes, Sasuke, I'll go to prom with you.

…

2:44 PM

To: CherryLips0
From: BeautyQueen69

Making Kiba ask you to prom: twenty dollars.

Unlimited texting: ten dollars.

The many long-distance ones sent to Tenten: five dollars

A totally freaking awesome night with my home skillets at our wicked lovely prom?

PRICELESS, BITCH!

SEVEN DAYS UNTIL PROM. SEVEN DAYS.

…

fin.

…

fml: fuck my life