Song: "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman" with Britney Spears.

Season: 2


I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

Major Evan Lorne was not a happy man. He always hated going on off-world missions on football nights, and when the missions turned out to be a bore it was even more annoying. For hours now he had been standing there in a corner, stifling yawns, counting the minutes, watching Dr. Johansen interact with the locals.

He found Dr. Stacey Johansen to be just as boring as the planet. She was the head of the Atlantis Sociology department and she studied alien civilisations and their systems of government, and Evan had soon found out she was one of those career women who only lived and cared for their job, and as he didn't find her job particular interesting, they didn't really have much to talk about.

She seemed to be enjoying herself though. She was talking to a rather masculine looking woman. If it hadn't been for the huge breasts, Evan would have sworn the alien was a man. They both spoke eagerly and gestured a lot with their hands, now and then sharing a laugh. And suddenly they turned towards him. The alien woman/man pointed at him and said something, and Dr. Johansen answered and shook her head, hiding a smirk behind her hand. Evan frowned. What now?

A rather timid looking guy passed by and eyed him curiously, and Evan suddenly realized he was being checked out. He stared back at the little man, who blushed and ran giggling away. Evan followed him with a puzzled gaze. These were strange people, he stated.

He looked up to meet Dr. Johansen's eyes, and she came over, grinning as she approached him. "You must forgive them, Major," she said. "But they think you're a girl."

"I'm a what?!" he exclaimed. He, a girl? It was official, these people were completely nuts.

"A girl," she repeated as if she thought he hadn't heard it the first time.

He stared at her. "I take offence of that."

"Why?" she said, and looked dead serious. "You should take it as a compliment. This society is strictly matriarchal. The women are in charge of everything. They occupy all the high positions, and they are the ones who do most of the hard physical labor. That's why they are all so…"

"Manly?" he suggested.

"Strong," she said, giving him a stern and daring look.

"Right," he said, and let his eyes sweep across the village and all the people stealing little glances at him. "They think I'm a girl because I look manly and strong. I guess I can live with that."

"You can," she decided. "Now, let's head back to Atlantis."

Shortly after, when they entered the Atlantis Gateroom through the Stargate, they were met by Colonel Sheppard, and Lorne saluted his superior officer. He always kept to the military protocols, even though the colonel himself usually was a little slacky about the rules.

"As you were, Major," Sheppard said with a smile. "How was the trip?"

"Interesting," Lorne said, in a voice that clearly gave away that he didn't really mean it. "They thought I was a woman."

"Not a woman," Dr. Johansen shot in, as Sheppard raised his eyebrows. "They thought you were a girl." And she stepped up beside Evan, leaning in closely. "It takes years to become a woman," she whispered. "And I don't think you're there just yet."

And then she pinched his ass and walked away.