I apologise in advance for all the mistakes that will likely appear in this story- whilst I have seen some of the older Star trek things- I was only very little and I do not pretend to remmeber anything relevant other than names and faces- I am one of the "New-Trek" fans.

Chapter 1

Each offhand comment of his heritage grated at him, each word providing a small scar to add to his collection. He hid his feelings because they were his own, and he did not wish to burden those in his company with them- his mind told him they meant no real malice with their words. He had been told throughout his entire life "you will always be a child of two worlds" but it wasn't true, not really. In truth; he had no planet, no place he would be welcomed as one and the same- on Vulcan he had received patronising treatment for his "disadvantaged" life, and the humans treated him as an other- to they who called themselves 'friend' he would always be the "pointy-eared bastard", a "green-blooded hobgoblin", an emotionless drone. By all accounts he was an anomaly, a freak of nature- he should not exist because there is no place in the universe for him to exist. This is why he never said anything to them, because he was lucky enough that they looked his way at all.

Jim often wondered where his friend went whenever he disappeared from the bridge- the only warning they ever got was "excuse me, Captain". Well, enough secrets- the curiosity was itching all over his body, and so he watched Spock from the corner of his eye at all times, what did he do? Then he saw it. He saw his first officer's barely visible deflation upon a seemingly harmless remark- surely this could not be why he was forever disappearing...

"Excuse me, Captain." Spock gave a small nod, and he responded.

"Mr Spock." And Spock was gone swiftly. He stayed and thought for a moment before himself standing up and making his way toward the exit. "Take the cons, Chekov."

If I was Spock... where would I go? Jim made his way down the corridors before recalling something he saw when Spock's older counterpart had melded minds with him- a small reclusive area on the 3rd level where crew members rarely ventured, the other Spock had often stood there gazing out of the window- who's to say his Spock wouldn't also?

He found Spock sitting on the floor, of all places, staring blankly through the transparent wall at the stars. He was slouching in a way Jim had never seen him hold himself before and, before he could fully register the full situation in front of him, Jim saw his first officer, his friend, take a deep shuddering breath and pull his knees to his chest. Suddenly he felt like he was intruding, watching in on what should have been a private moment. He knew Spock would never have allowed himself to be seen like this, hence the continuous disappearing act, which was increasing with every week aboard the Enterprise. However, he could not allow himself to leave and forget this situation, it needed to be addressed. His friend needed help, that much was clear.

"Spock-" Immediately his first officer was on his feet and facing him, his face was clean but he could not hide the fact that he had been crying- his eyes were slightly bloodshot, blinking more than usual- and the dampness on the Vulcan's left sleeve did not go unnoticed by the young Captain. "Spock, something is troubling you-"

"I am perfectly alright, Captain." he stood a little straighter.

"No, you're not, Spock." Jim spoke, he breifly considered taking a hold of the other's shoulders. "You've been disappearing from the bridge over and over again-"

"My apologies, Captain, I was not aware that my presence was being missed- I shall try to-"

"Spock, I'm not here about you... breaching any form of … well anything..."

"Sir?"

"Damnit, Spock- I told you to call me Jim-"

"I am s-"

"Don't apologise just..." He took a breath and looked into his friend's eyes. "You're in pain."

"I believe you are mistaken."

"I'm not mistaken- you're in pain- something's buggin' you and I wanna know what it is."

"I assure you, sir, I am-"

"I need to know that if anything is bothering you, or hurting you, that you will tell me. I think its to do with thoughtless comments about you and your heritage... isn't it?"

"It would be highly illogical for me to take any heed of such utterances-"

"But feelings aren't always logical, Spock! Most of them aren't." there was hesitation from the other side. "come on... talk to me."

"There... is much you do not know about my life before I joined Starfleet." The pain was evident in his eyes. "I do not know if I am able to form it into words."

"Mind meld."

"Jim?" The Vulcan raised an eyebrow.

"You can use mind meld, can't you? Help me understand- show me."

"I am not well skilled in-"

"Please- you need this. Share your pain- it'll make it easier."

"I do not wish to trouble y-" Jim cut him off with a hand to the shoulder.

"Hey, I'm asking." He pulled Spock down onto the floor and they sat across from one another with crossed legs. "It'll help- I promise."

"I do not have good control over what passes through-"

"I don't care- you need this, and I can handle it." Hesitation was etched onto his normally stoic face as he raised his hand and placed it on the side of Jim's face. He closed his eyes and they began.

TBC.