Teehee! Time for his fabulousness, Lussuria~!

Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn! belongs to Akira Amano.

Cooking Woes

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The sun guardian of the Varia, Lussuria, truly lived up to the reputation of being the mother figure of the group. It was he that was often placed in charge of meal preparation and other chores that they dubbed 'feminine'. Lussuria didn't mind, in fact he enjoyed the duties that were handed down to him. He enjoyed his role as the mother of the Varia, although the others didn't seem to enjoy it as much, with the exception of Gola Mosca, being a robot and unable to compute such human emotions, that and the fact that Gola was no longer around.

Currently he was in the kitchen preparing that night's evening meal. It consisted of newer, more exotic recipes that would require a tremendous amount of preparation. Already it was starting to reach late afternoon and he had been in the kitchen since after lunch, meticulously cutting, dicing, slicing, boiling, and whatever else may have been required to prepare the meal. The array of meats and vegetables that lay on the counter either all ready prepared or in need of preparation was something of another country. The fruits were lush and colorful, the meats and seafood was like something that he doubted the other members had never seen before.

"What the hell is this?" Asked a young sounding voice. Lussuria turned to see a head of blond hair perched on the counter, a silver object sat upon it and shone in the mid-afternoon sun. He moved some cooking objects to get a better look at the person who it belonged to, not surprised to see the rest of Belphegor looking up at him from long blond bangs. His head was propped up on one arm, a frown that could put even Mammon to shame was on his usually grinning face. He seemed to be pointing to a small spiked ball that sat on the counter.

"Oh, that would be a sea urchin little Bel…" The man replied as he peered at it through his pink-rimmed shades.

"Yeah, but what the hell is it?" He reached out to touch the strange spiked creature, only to draw his finger away. As soon as he did he laid his palm down gently on it and moved it up and down.

"It's for tonight's dinner." The green-haired man said as he reached out to take the urchin off of the counter and started to pry it open with a flat knife. With its yellow meat exposed he gave it to Bel. "Here, try it~!"

The prince instinctively wrinkled his nose disdainfully. "Ech…No." He hissed as he stuck his tongue out.

"Ooh~! Come on Bel~!" He pushed the spiny delicacy further towards the prince, who once again pushed it away.

"The prince isn't eating that…" He grumbled as he lept off of the stool he had been sitting on and proceeded to walk out of the kitchen, leaving Lussuria to cook alone.

The flamboyant man let out a sigh and returned to preparing the meal. He was about to cut up the remaining vegetables for the meal when another person entered, this time it was Levi who stood in the door of the kitchen, blood leaking from his pierced lip. "Levi!?" He cried as he took a look at the wounded lightning guardian. "What happened to your lip!?"

"Bel happened…" Levi muttered as he edged away from the sun guardian to the sink to wash off some of the blood from his lip.

"Oh~! What did Bel do?" The other cried as he ushered Levi over to the sink, ever the mother to the group. He grabbed a washcloth from off the counter and turned the water on to the sink where he started to dampen the cloth. Once he had wrung the excess moisture out he handed it to Levi to wipe the blood off.

"He pulled my chain…" The lighting guardian groaned as he took the washcloth from Lussuria and held it up to his wound.

"Oh~! That Bel!" Lussuria cried as he started to push Levi out of the room once more. He did not wish to come across as being unfriendly yet he knew that he had to get back to working on the Varia's dinner. Time was starting to run out and he had yet to start on half the meal's fixings. "I'll have a little talk with him later." He gave Levi one last shove to the double swinging doors and turned back to the counter where he had been cooking.

It was normal for the members of the Varia, save for Xanxus, to come in the kitchen while Lussuria was cooking. It was rather irritating having to work with so many disturbances, although so far it had only been Bel and Levi. Yet he knew that it was only a matter of time before…

"VOI!"

…the worst came. He turned to the door once again to see the Varia's shark standing in the doors.

"Voi! The boss wants dinner at the normal time!" Snapped Squalo with a shark-like grin that could even make Bel jealous.

"But Squ, the boss said that I could have extra time!" Lussuria protested, using the nickname he had given Squalo.

"Voi! Too bad!" The shark seemed to be in a sour mood and the flamboyant man judged it best to just leave the argument, it was rather pointless to even try. "You look like you're slacking off anyway! Hittin' on fucking Levi…" He smirked.

With a sigh Lussuria returned to the ingredients that awaited him with Squalo keeping a watchful eye over him for a few moments before he judged it appropriate to leave the sun guardian to work alone.

And work Lussuria did, now fueled by a sudden cut of a full hour and a half from his previous schedule. He was determined to make an excellent and exotic meal for the other five members, himself aside. After about a half hour after the Squalo encounter he had every piece of meat, every vegetable, and every fruit completely cut up and ready.

He wiped some sweat from his brow with the back of his wrist and glanced towards the clock, still a full two hours remained before dinner was expected. Now he was starting to think that the meal he had planned was sounding doable. With a smile he tossed the vegetables along with a choice of exotic fruits and some chicken into the pan, some alcohol poured atop the mixture caused it to burst into a rather large flame that shrunk in size as quickly as it had grown.

Now it was time for the sweet bread to be made. He walked over to the counter and got the remains of the ingredients from a further away spot than the other items had been. At least, with the main dish nearly finished, the bread underway, and everything cut up he was more than half way done. Perhaps he would even have enough time to bake a cake for the dessert that day.

He had managed to accomplish so much in such a time! Having no other members bother him for anything was spectacular and he could not help but consider having a lock installed on the kitchen door. It seemed that nothing could go wrong at that point.

Crash!

Yet only a brief turn of the back had managed to reverse all that hard work.

Lussuria felt his heart nearly stop as he slowly turned his upper body in the direction of the sound. A dough covered small dark green object was sitting on the floor beside the knocked over bowl of dough. He immediately recognized the object as Mammon's frog, the former no where in sight, although none of that mattered to him now.

"My sweet bread…" He groaned, knowing that now he had to improvise in that respect with the ingredients for the bread having been all used up. He knelt down to pick up both the bowl and the frog from the floor.

The small amphibian hopped away from his gloved hand as it came close. It darted behind him and to Mammon who stood in the door way, into its owner's awaiting arms.

"Mammon! Keep that frog under control!" Lussuria cried as he turned to face the mist guardian.

"I was…until Bel came along…" He said in a dull sounding tone, although that was rather normal for him.

"Oh dear…" The larger man couldn't help but swallow nervously as he thought of what chaos would ensue if the prince found Mammon in the kitchen. Knives would be thrown, an illusion would be cast, it would turn into utter hell as soon as Bel managed to locate him. "Say, Mammon, why don't you help make dinner?"

"Pay me." Came the terse reply.

"Come on Mam~!" He pleaded, having come up with a shortened version of the illusionist's name. "You did ruin the bread dough after all~!" He smiled warmly at the Arcobaleno, praying silently that his sunny side would bring him to help.

"Don't call me that."

Lussuria was about to continue begging for his help when a sudden gust followed by a sharp sting hit his cheek.

"Ushishishi…Found you baby…" Teased a rather menacing voice from close to the two. Lussuria didn't even bother to glance at the door, he had all ready figured out who it was.

"Bel…" Mammon droned as he seemed to glance up at the prince.

"Oh~! Come on you boys~! Take it outside, I'm trying to-eek!" Neither seemed to hear him as a sudden rush of knives and blue tendrils rushed towards him, knocking over pans, ingredients, and finally the main course of the meal.

Lussuria could only watch as Mammon flew above the stove, a blue tentacle aimed at Bel hit the pan where the main course sat finished. It fell to floor with a clatter that sounded more like an atomic bomb going off to the sun guardian.

It was then that he decided that a lock would be a splendid thing to install on the kitchen doors.

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Sorry about how poor this turned out, I mostly wrote it because I needed a distraction.

What's Lussuria making? IDK.