Title: The Pain She Deserved

Chapters:

Word Count:

Originally posted/updated:

Rating: PG (To be safe)

Spoilers/Setting: Pain in the Heart

Genre(s): Romance, Angst

Character(s): Booth, Brennan, Angela, Hodgins, Zack, Cam

Pairing(s): Booth/Brennan,

Disclaimer: Special savings end Saturday. Oh, and Bones is the property of much richer people then me. If I owned it, I would be bankrupt.

Summary: What if the guy Booth was after didn't turn up at his funeral, and Booth didn't get the chance to reveal that he was still alive?

Yes, this is kinda late and all, but it came to me after I watched WitW and PitH again. They have to be my favourite episodes…

Be warned that this is very dialogue-ish.

Claire

- - -

Dr Temperance Brennan didn't return to the Jeffersonian with the rest of her team. She had sat through the funeral of her partner without shedding a tear. She had accepted people's sympathies without even questioning her right to them. Her partner was dead. She was numb to the world.

She had been convinced that he wasn't dead. Somewhere in her mind, she held a spark of hope. The funeral stripped those away. He was dead and buried, lost to her forever. It was finally beginning to sink in, and the pain that accompanied the realisation stung her heart.

She collapsed on the couch in her apartment, and the tears finally came. She let them. She deserved to hurt; her partner was dead because of her. He had taken a bullet meant for her, and died because he was always so protective.

Temperance grabbed a bottle of scotch from the coffee table in front of her. She pulled of the lid, and poured it into a shot glass. Her hands were shaking as she brought the glass to her mouth and let the liquid in. She swallowed, and accepted the burning sensation that accompanied it. She poured herself another glass, and repeated the process.

She made it through a few more shots before a knock on the door interrupted her wallowing. She dragged herself up off the couch, and stumbled over to the door, unbalanced more from the emotions that had settled around her, then the alcohol she had consumed. She opened the door and was greeted by the sight of her former psychologist. She groaned and turned back to the couch, leaving the door open. Dr Sweets took this to mean she would let him in.

"Dr Brennan, there is something we need to talk about…" He began when Brennan was seated again. She didn't respond, so he continued. "As you are aware, Agent Booth was shot two weeks ago and pronounced dead the next day. This is-"

"Sweets, if you are here to try and analyse me, don't bother. I'm not interested," Brennan said cutting the young doctor off. Sweets opened his mouth to continue talking but she held up a hand. "If you want to tell me that I need to let out my grief because keeping it in is unhealthy, you don't need to. Take a look around, do I look like I'm coping?"

"Dr Brennan, you are able to compartmentalize exceptionally well. Are you trying to tell me that you are not using that to your benefit now?"

"No, Sweets, I'm not," Brennan said, as she stood to face him. "Compartmentalization is a coping mechanism. I cannot cope. Therefore, I cannot compartmentalize. Booth is dead, Sweets. It's not easy."

For the first time in two weeks, Lance Sweets was able to see the pain that Brennan was in. Her apartment was a mess, and the bottle of scotch was more than half empty. He immediately cringed when he realised that it was his fault. Booth was going to kill him.

"Dr Brennan, there is something you should know. Agent Booth spoke to Deputy Director Cullen while he was the hospital, and Director Cullen then spoke to me-"

Once again Brennan cut him off. She was beginning to get angry. "Sweets, I don't think that Booth said anything to Cullen. He was only in the hospital for a night; they sent me home, saying he would not wake until the morning. When I returned, the doctors told me he had died."

"They lied to you, Dr Brennan. Agent Booth did not die in the hospital," Sweets said, and Brennan dropped the glass she was holding. It smashed to the floor. She stormed across the room and stood no more than a foot away from Sweets. "Please, Dr Brennan, let me finish before you speak."

Temperance just glared at him, her look saying you better speak quickly. Sweets gulped and took a step away adding more space between them. "Before he was your partner, Agent Booth worked on bringing down major crime groups. He almost arrested the leader of one of the biggest groups in North America. The target found out who Booth was, and went underground, swearing that the next time Booth saw him, it would be at his funeral.

"Director Cullen used Booth's shooting as a way to fake his death. The group in question has recently had an increase in activity. Booth was to go undercover at his own funeral to finally arrest the guy."

"And how do you come into this, Dr Sweets?" Brennan's voice was cold, and she sounded disbelieving of the young man.

"Booth gave a list to Director Cullen. On it were the names of people he wanted to know he was alive. The list was comprised of Parker, you, and his direct family. I was given the list and told to inform the people on it of the situation."

"You didn't. I was not told."

"I told everyone else on the list, except for you. I thought that the less people that knew, the better. Seeing as you have a superior ability to compartmentalize, you could handle not knowing. It was only for a short time."

"Something happened." It was not a question, but a statement. Brennan knew that something must have gone wrong, because Booth never showed up at his funeral.

"The suspect didn't show up. Booth was taken back to the safe house for a debriefing before he returned to work."

"And you are informing me now so that I can't tell Booth to beat the hell out of you?" Brennan asked sarcastically. "I'm sorry Sweets, but I'm not buying it. Booth would have told me if he were alive. We're partners, and that's what partners do."

"Dr Brennan, I understand that –"

"NO! You don't! You cannot possibly understand how I'm feeling. I killed my partner, Sweets! If it weren't for the fact that Pam Nunan was aiming at me, he wouldn't have stood in front of the gun. He wouldn't have been shot. Now, you're trying to tell me that Booth isn't dead? After you've spent the past two weeks doing nothing but tell me to accept that he is? I cannot, and will not believe what you are saying!"

Sweets cowered under Brennan's intense glare. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again after seeing something in the doorway. He gingerly raised his hand and pointed towards the door.

"You're not going anywhere Sweets. I –"

"Bones! Let the poor kid go!" Booth called from the doorway, where he could see the anger rolling off his partner. "What did he ever do to you?"

"Not now Booth!" Brennan said on reflex, turning to face him. For a second she just looked at him, but then she realised that he couldn't be there. "You're not real."

"What? Bones, what are you talking about?" Booth seemed completely unaware that he was meant to be dead.

"You're dead. I was just at your funeral," Brennan whispered, as she drew nearer to him. "Sweets… He… You're alive?"

"Yeah, Bones, I am. You were meant to be told," Booth whispered back, brushing the hair out of Brennan's face. "I gave Cullen a list."

"Sweets… HE was meant to tell me!" Brennan said pulling away and turning to Sweets. "Sweets decided that I'd be somewhat of a security risk and didn't bother mentioning to me that my partner was alive!"

"He what?" Booth said angrily, moving across the room to where Sweets stood now cowering in fear. "Sweets, is this true?" Sweets nodded and Booth balled his hand into a fist. He raised it, and swung it through the air. It collided with Brennan's wall.

"You are so lucky that I still want to work with the FBI, or that would have been your face!" He snarled. "My partner and my son are the most important people in my life, get it? If I tell you to inform my partner that I am not dead, you inform my partner that I am not dead! Now get out of here!"

Sweets nodded, and scampered away. Brennan grabbed his arm, stopping him from getting to the door. He turned to face her and was met with the sight of her hand bearing down upon her. She slapped him once across the cheek and then let go of his arm. Sweets brought both hands to his face to cover the angry welt that was growing. He hurried out of the apartment, leaving the two partners alone.

"Bones! Nice shot!" Booth said laughingly, before he too received a slap. "Ouch! Bones, what was that for?"

"You didn't tell me you were alive! You should have called!" She replied, before wrapping her arms around Booth's waist and pulling him closer. He automatically put his arms around her back, and gently stroked it.

"'I'm sorry, Bones. I never meant for you to think I was dead. I didn't call you because I didn't think I had a reason to. As far as I knew, you had been informed. I wasn't fully awake until Wednesday, and I wasn't moving well until just a few days ago," Booth whispered into her hair. "I swear to you, I would never let you think I had betrayed you, not intentionally!"

"I know, Booth. I'm sorry."

"Bones, hey, look at me…" Booth said, turning Temperance's chin so she was looking him in the eye. "You have nothing to be sorry about, okay? You didn't even slap me that hard."

"I did nothing? I understand that you've been under morphine recently, but memory loss is not a side effect!" She said, stepping away from his chest so she could see him better.

"Bones…"

"No, Booth, please, let me finish. I need to say this." She almost whispered. "You were shot protecting me. You were put into a dangerous situation because of me. You shouldn't have felt obligated to be protective of me, but you are. I thought you were dead, because of me, and it hurt. I needed you, because only you could help me. But it was you helping me that made you leave me. I felt selfish because I was still alive."

"Bones, I would have stood up to take that bullet if it was any of the squints. Even Sweets, although I may not now I know what he's done," Booth began. "The fact is it's my fault that Pam was jealous of you in the first place."

Brennan stepped back into Booth's arms, her guilt alleviated. She accepted the comfort of his embrace, the same comfort she had been deprived of while he was 'dead'.

"Hey, Booth? Do the other's know you're alive?"

"No they don't. They will though, when I take you in to the lab later."

"They can wait," Tempe said. She felt Booth stiffen in surprise. "What I mean to say is… I'm not going into the lab."

"Why not, Bones?" He asked, beginning to grow concerned about any evil schemes that his partner had come up with.

"Well, I'm experiencing great grief at the moment. I need time to heal my broken heart…"

Booth stepped back shocked. He looked at his partner, and saw the cheeky smirk on her lips. He smiled back, and lowered his lips to meet hers.

"Just be careful, Bones. My heart's been damaged lately too." He said when they finally broke apart. She didn't answer, just brought her lips back to his, wrapping her arms around his neck. Okay, maybe not so evil he thought as her returned the fervent kiss.

- - -

Okay, yet another OOC moment. WOOOOO!

It's not my best, sure, but it's good enough for now.

Ari.