CANCER
Death leaves a lot of unanswered questions
He looked over at the raven-haired man beside his bed.
His eyes hurt from the glare of the bright room, his sheets were soaked with his own sweat. His body felt heavy and strained and his chest ached, although this final symptom may only be from his feelings rather than the disease.
"What is it you needed to tell me now, Light-kun?" the boy asked tiredly, his racoon eyes resting on Light's pale face, a sort of confused concern hidden deep within the abyss-like stare.
"I can't...I need to tell you something, something...important." Light replied shakily, choosing to look to the ceiling rather than at L.
"I'm listening." L answered while Light breathed a heavy sigh.
"...yeah." the reply was soft, strange. The tone made the room's atmosphere drop, silence permeated.
"Are you...alright, Light?" L looked a bit more concerned, his facade slipping as each moment passed in a dead silence.
"Do you actually care, L?" Light asked suddenly, his head whipping to look over at L, who was sitting in his usual position.
L was taken aback by the sudden anger in Light's eyes, the fear and the pain that lingered on his face were unusual too. One question buzzed through L's head louder than any other.
'Why, why, why?' The look and the question startled and stung L, but he hid his emotions behind his blank mask of a face.
"I wouldn't ask if I didn't care, Light-kun." the answer came out without emotion as well; he wouldn't be betrayed by his feelings now.
"...yeah, I guess." Light sat up suddenly, looking anxious, his face flushing at the sudden movement.
"What's going on, Light-kun? What did you want to tell me?" L asked, curious at Light's odd behaviour.
"I just...can't say it yet, L do you mind if I write it down?" Light asked a bit shy.
L nodded and watched Light approach the desk in the room, a note pad held in the drawer taken out with arms shaking. The boy's back was to him as he attempted to write with a simple black pen, a pen that didn't seem to be able to stay still as Light attempted to spill his secret out.
"I-I can't." The pen falling from his grasp, the words on the page written in a scribble that didn't resemble the usually neat and precise hand writing of Yagami Raito. It was all so alarming.
L stood up quickly and quietly from his chair, the way Light was slumped forward reminded L of a wounded animal; hurt yes, but dangerous also. His arm reached out of its own accord, his fingers stretching out to touch Raito's shoulder lightly.
The younger jumped at the touch, his shoulders flinching and his head coming up to look at L. His eyes were unfocused, but strangely open.
It was a pair of eyes that L had only seen in that jail cell surveillance camera, the eyes that professed innocence and purity. They were back, but they seemed to carry a certain heaviness with them.
'Why, why, why?'
Light turned away from L's stare, his eyes falling to the page he had written on.
'I have cancer.'
L reread the paper, over and over. The simple sentence, the little word that caused such havoc.
'Cancer...cancer?'
"Cancer, L...I have cancer." Light laughed bitterly, and soon those laughs turned to strange breathless sobs. L found himself hugging tightly to his suspect, his first and only friend who could die...who may die soon.
"It feels so weird to finally say it out loud, but...Cancer. My name is Light and I have cancer." Another bitter laugh overtook the shocked and ranting man as he waited for L's reaction.
Moments went by, but both could barely tell...the passing of time seemed strange and for now they were both caught up in this world of horror. Still L said nothing, his mind seemingly gone now that he knew the news. Light thought of the Kira case, his family and school work and suddenly all of it didn't seem to matter so much. Is this what happens to your will to live once you find out you're destined to die at the wrong time, at the wrong hands...just like...
"Do you think this is what it feels like to be a criminal in jail?"
"Hm?" L questioned, puzzled.
"Well, they spend their time fighting for innocence when they've been told they're guilty...and then they rot in jail and await Kira's judgement call...they spend their lives killing, raping and stealing, they are the cancer of society...and then comes the waiting, always waiting for judgement...I feel like I'm waiting for death, I might as well be in one of those cells-it'd be so much faster." Light smiled bitterly, laughing at his own possible death sentence.
"They just wait for Kira to come for them, maybe some of them even wish for it...but they always know, they can taste the dread and death on their tongues. I can taste it too."
"You will not die Raito, modern medicine is always improving and I'll make it so you do not have to worry about the money...I'll stay with you until you get better." L watched the bitter smile on Light's pretty face grow wider and more horrible.
"...It's funny though, I never really thought I would die young, at least not of this. I always assumed I'd die because of Kira...instead my own body is revolting against me, heh." Light's smiled was now accompanied by horrible laughter as well. It made his chest heave and tears fall from his honey eyes. L sat in stunned silence as he listened to the boy ramble on and then begin crying.
"It'll be okay." L reached a hand up to touch Light's face, wiping tears off of his face. Light looked up at L as the raven haired boy wiped a few more hot tears off of Light's burning cheek.
"Will you really stay with me, L?" Light whispered softly into his captor's chest, inhaling the sweet smell of his usual white shirt. The detective nodded a few times, his hand coming up to play in Light's amber hair, his panda eyes honest and open.
"It won't be so bad to die...if you're there." L shuddered at the easy way Light accepted his own death but he didn't say anything just yet. He simply hugged the younger tightly and thought back to all he knew about cancer and its success rates, while it had been true that modern medicine was ever-evolving, it was very likely that Light wouldn't make it in the long run...and the thought of Light being killed by something so mundane, so household common struck L as sad and thought-provoking.
A fitting death for the likes of him, of Kira...an unremarkable case of cancer and a so-so chance of survival.
Poor Light has cancer! Not sure where I am going with this, but I hope you'll stick around to see with me...Review, please?
~Redd.