Damaged Goods

Ichigo + Ishida

Disconnected...

Ichigo sighed as he signed the last piece of paper on his desk. Paperwork was as boring as Renji always said it was. Ichigo sighed for the want of a fight with real purpose and motivation, but since the winter war was won five years ago, nothing of note had happened.

Well, maybe an unexpected car crash that took the lives of father and son should be mentioned.

On a whim, Isshin had decided to collect the girls from school one rainy afternoon. Ichigo was a bit surprised to find his father pulling up alongside him as he walked home from Uni, but who was he to complain with rain dripping down his collar?

They'd needed some fresh salad – the reason for the whim – and pulled up at some red lights just before the supermarket turning. The rain had become fierce, so much so, Isshin could barely see out of the windscreen and the car behind, travelling at speed, hadn't seen them either. It ploughed into the back of their car forcing them forward into the oncoming traffic and under a huge articulated lorry turning to make deliveries to the store.

Ichigo rubbed his shoulder and rotated his neck; in his real body, the crash may have partially severed his head, but his soul had kept the ache and a deep scar that ran almost all the way around his neck. The slight raised red jagged line stopped short three inches on the left side of his neck but otherwise sat like a badge of honour clearly visible in the V of his shinigami robes.

"Kurosaki Fukutaichou I hear you have a special birthday today?"

"Huh?" Ichigo looked up at Hitsugaya standing with a pile of more paperwork for him. "Rukia not doing your running around for you?"

"No, I am still enjoying the fact that I have a Fukutaichou... that can actually do the job!" The short captain retorted. Ichigo ignored the moment of morose remembrance for Matsumoto who died in the early battles. "I wanted these messages sent to the General." He thrust the paperwork into Ichigo's chest. Ichigo worked now in the 5th running messages around all the divisions and training his men with the help of his captain so that they had the strength and stamina to run between battles. Often their runners would get targeted by enemies knowing they held vital information that was useful, so they had to be the best to deal with any form of attack launched at them. It seemed they needed to apply their skills in the current climate, for example, when delivering budget allocations annually as one division fought to know what the others had. "Send them by foot runners not butterflies. The Captain in?"

"No my fathers gone up to see my sisters. He doesn't want Kisuke to influence them with his perverted ways so he goes up quite often." Ichigo scoffed setting down the paperwork and began looking at which message held highest priority. Isshin and Ichigo worked well together having done their informal 'training' all these years. Ichigo often reflected how scary his dad had become now he charged at him with his katana and kido first thing in the morning instead of just a foot or fist. Moving to his own small apartment away from the division had had its advantages in more ways than one. At least he could wake up without fearing for his life! Yeah yeah okay, he could wake up next to his adorable boyfriend too. Well, when he could over stay anyway.

"Rukia tells me you would have been 21 today."

"Yeah. Now I'm here, dead, I can see what the fuss is all about. In the grand scheme of things it only makes me 2 years old!" Ichigo laughed.

"How about I buy you a drink in the bar to celebrate being 2 then?" For once the frost boy smirked a smile and Ichigo nodded.

"Yeah. Ishida said he'd be coming down, I'll bring him along." Ichigo smiled to himself at the thought of seeing his boyfriend again. It had been a week since they'd managed to meet up.

"I haven't seen much of him of late. He used to be hanging around quite a bit."

"Training to be a doctor is hard work. Usually he's too tired or got a lot of studying to do. Seeing as I don't know jack about that stuff, I ain't much more use than as a distraction."

"Still long term relationships..."

"We're doing alright." Ichigo shrugged. "He's got a life to live, I can't get all pushy."

"My my, such maturity." Ichigo frowned as Byakuya stepped into the room baring another set of paperwork. "I need these sent to the... 10th." Byakuya floundered as Rukia's plan seemed to be failing, the stupid silver hair boy was not meant to be here. Why did he get himself into these things? Kurosaki was nothing but a nuisance and so why he let himself get dragged into this idea of a surprise party he didn't quite understand.

"Well, just hand them over, the guys right there and save me all the extra paperwork!" Ichigo scowled irritated by the suggestion of more work.

"You think I would not do things via the correct channels boy? Don't assume you can pick and choose the rules any more. You are a shinigami bound by our code of conduct and you will do as requested." The noble rose one eyebrow and used his most superior tone as a rebuke and then his full scale 'saved-for-Renji' glare to get his point across.

"Hai Taicho." Ichigo grunted through gritted teeth. Hitsugaya bit his own tongue to stop himself laughing and he nodded knowingly at his fellow captain.

"Ichigooo Darling!" Yumichika Ayasegawa arrived also laden down with paperwork. "Captain Kira asked for these to be del... Oh..." The feminine looking man peered over his parchment pile to stare at the two captains. "Busy day Ichigo?" The man smiled and fluttered his eye lashes at Byakuya who ignored him.

"What are you lot doing? Is there some new directive I didn't know about?" Ichigo took the last pile of papers and looked up confused as he was responded with two no's and a yes simultaneously. "Come on which is it? This all smells of Rukia."

"Are you suggesting anything inappropriate about my sister?" Byakuya leaned in pulling on his bank of menacing glares again.

"Rukia and inappropriate go quiet well together!" Yumichika laughed in a flurry of swirling hakama pants and was gone before Byakuya could unsheathe his sword.

...

All Rukia's scheming had worked to keep Ichigo busy whilst everyone put hands to the pump to decorate the pub with birthday banners and bunting. There were balloons everywhere and if possible nearly every division seemed to be in attendance. The drinks and jokes were flowing well.

Ichigo laughed along with the others at the drunken dance Renji was performing on the dance floor. He turned to Ishida sliding his hand into his boyfriends under the table. Almost immediately Ishida turned away and pulled his hand free to lift his drink to his lips.

"You alright?" Ichigo turned to him. That was the third time tonight Ishida had done that.

"Yeah I'm good." Ishida gave a half smile and turned to look at Isshin who was staring at him.

"Jeez my old man looks pissed." Ichigo tutted. "Why do you think he's glaring at me like that?"

"I don't know? What did you screw up this time?" Ishida said dryly knowing that it wasn't Ichigo that Isshin found so interesting this evening.

"Nothing. Come on, dance with me." Ichigo refused to take no for an answer and dragged the uncomfortable looking Quincy to the floor by a handful of his hoody.

"WHOHOO! GO ICHIGO!" Rukia full of drink leered at the two men and laughing as Nanoe poised with camera ready to snap a full kissing scene for their next edition of the Women's Guild Magazine.

"That really your sister?" Shuhei chuckled to Byakuya who looked more than a little perturbed by his sisters loud antics.

"Apparently so." Byakuya sighed. "I think its time to get her married off."

"Let someone else handle her hey?" The sake soaked man snorted. "You're gonna need one hell of a laid back man to take her."

"Exactly." Byakuya turned to the Captain smiling. "Someone just like you."

"Me?" Shuhei never looked sober, but he seemed to have sobered up pretty quickly. He backed away holding both his hands up and shaking his head. "I'm not the marrying kind my old friend... You know that I want someone else... Rukia is a nice girl and that but..." He gulped and ran.

Ichigo slid his hands down his lovers back and into the back pockets of his jeans.

"Ichigo, people are looking!" Ishida growled.

"Lighten up, they know about us. Half of them are gay anyway."

"Just give me some space." Ishida wriggled in Ichigo's arms with a distinct grump on his face.

"What is up with you? You've been cagey all night." Ichigo let go and moaned loudly over the music. Some birthday it was turning out to be with a miserable boyfriend.

"I'm tired."

"You're always tired." Ichigo snapped back. "Alright. Lets go back to mine and you can get your precious sleep."

Ishida was the first to step into the small two room apartment. It was a similar size to his own at home and comprised of a compact white kitchen, lounge with fat soft sofa's, pictures from the Kurosaki home, Ichigo's prize guitar and music collection and lots of reading books. It was neat, just like his bedroom had always been and decorated in the usual earthy colours of Seireitei.

But Ichigo had no intention of staying long in this room, he wanted his pound of Quincy flesh and he pressed his lover onwards toward the second room, his bedroom. Another simple room, tidied to perfection and housing a large bed, dark wood bedside tables and a small free-standing wardrobe. One large picture of the beach hung on the wall and the darkened room was lit by two lamps either side of the bed.

"Ha! Rukia's an evil bitch, she's even been in here." Ichigo laughed at the lit lamps, the rose on the pillow and petals over the covers. Ichigo picked up the rose and smelt it shaking his head as he looked at his almost virginal looking boyfriend. "You look ready to bolt." Ichigo chuckled. But he looked cute too, sort of vulnerable and submissive. He stroked the rose down Uryuu's cheek. "Be my birthday treat." He whispered huskily into his lovers ear and pressed his nose into the dark locks of hair nipping at the waiting earlobe.

"Ichi..." Uryuu's voice faltered as he moaned. His ears had always been his weakness.

"Undress." Ichigo whispered sliding his tongue around the cusp of ear and gently blowing. He felt Ishida nod and he stepped back to sit on the bed and watch his blushing uke strip off his layers of clothing. "You are so fucking fit Ishida. That body should be on public display as an example of perfection." Ichigo smiled up at him. Much as a expected of a Japanese virgin, Ishida whimpered and looked coyly from beneath his hair. Ichigo patted the covers and Ishida laid himself down on the bed waiting for his seme to take charge.

Ichigo ran the head of the rose along the full length of Ishida's body, travelling up the toned calf and thigh, around his genitals in a loop and then both nipples ripened keenly as the scented bloom gently caressed them awake. Ichigo smiled as the usually aggressive male looked at him with hazy eyes. The promise of sex had the prone man rubbing his thighs together in languid thrusts and his fingers lazily tracing the breadth of his own erection.

It was a huge 'come and get me' message with neon lights and Ichigo wasn't going to resist the temptation for long. He stood and tugged off his clothes letting them drop without care onto the floor. His eyes never left those lips and the way Ishida's tongue traced around their shape, or the other hand that the dark haired boy used to pluck his nipples.

Ichigo stood at the side of the bed and whipped the rose down onto his lovers abdomen, smiling at the flinch of muscle and whimper of pain. But his hand reached out towards Ichigo's risen cock and let one finger trace the wet tip. "Want it?" Ichigo smirked at the keen nod he got as a response. He watched the thin figure roll onto his stomach and reach up to slide the wanting need inside his sinful lips. Ichigo growled at the first wave of indefinable pleasure from the warm heated cavern closing around him.

Ishida's body rocked on the bed, his groin rubbed heatedly into the mattress as he groaned his lust filled cries around the huge organ in his mouth. Ichigo flogged the green stem down on his boyfriends back watching the body writing beneath him. The petals flew off the delicate flower as it caved into the blows and instead decorated the beautiful buttocks. Ishida's skin reddened and warmed to the repeated blows even if they were not that harsh. He moaned louder and louder with each lash and ravished the cock in his mouth with equal vigour. There was a wonderful friction on his own erection, but it wasn't enough to reach his peak. The heat of his skin licked his need and stirred him to rock harder, rubbing and rubbing himself with force.

Ichigo was close and he let go of the stem to hold Ishida's head, running his hands through the silk hair. His hips worked of their own accord and he couldn't help but buck into the groaning mouth. Ishida felt Ichigo tighten almost ready to come, the hands in his hair held him firmly as Ichigo thrust several times forcefully into his mouth and holding him tight beyond the point he could breath. As the seed flushed down his throat, his own erection seemed to want to explode too and he continued to push himself down into the mattress. Ichigo let his lover go, marvelling at his endurance and he flipped him quickly over.

"You wanna cum?" Ichigo asked grabbing the cock in his shaking hand. Ishida nodded and threw his head back as Ichigo tugged and pulled at the steel hard appendage.

"Harder." Ishida groaned thrusting upwards into the willing hand. Ichigo bent and kissed his lovers panting and moaning lips as his fist moved ferociously. Pain shot through Ishida at the harsh handling but that's how he wanted it. He wanted to feel the sting and burn. "HARDER!" He cried thrashing his head side to side with Ichigo watching him intently. Ichigo complied as much as his arm would let him until finally Ishida's body arced and wailed. His seed flew onto his chest and he panted with huge exaggerated breaths as it trickled back to pool in his flat navel.

"Shit Ishida. We should have come home earlier." Ichigo laughed but bent to lap at the creamy fluid before him. His cock was already hard again from that display and he wanted more. "I take it you want it rough tonight?"

"You gonna talk all night or ride me?" Ichigo rose his eyebrows at that one. His pale skinned boyfriend rolled back onto his stomach and rose onto all fours. "Fuck me. I want you to fuck me right up to my tonsils." Well that was an invitation not to refuse and Ichigo knelt between the man's legs and urged himself inside using Ishida's shoulders as leverage. At the shrill yell that erupted, Ichigo faltered wondering if he'd gone too far but Ishida merely grunted and rammed himself back with an equivalent force.

With the tone set, Ichigo grasped a rough handful of hair and yanked Ishida's head upright. He palmed another hand around his lovers throat and fucked him, raw, hard and painfully. Ishida, squirmed and coughed, but he also groaned and thrust back. The bed shivered and shook beneath them and the wall echoed the thud of the headboard. As they neared their climatic end they were both hoarse, sweaty and shattered. The final ripples built up & exploded within a second of each other and they fell heavily onto the bed exhausted.

"Whoa." Ichigo smiled at Ishida. "You've knackered me in two blows." Knackered was apt, but Ichigo pondered a moment on his boyfriends behaviour. The last time he wanted to be taken that hard was after a huge row with Ryuken and he wanted to forget. He had wanted to feel the physical pain so it could erase the real pain inside him. Just what was up?

Ichigo leant and gave him a tender kiss then stroked his hair gently. "Love you Uryuu."

"Ermm?... Happy Birthday." Ishida mumbled back closing his eyes and falling asleep.

...

"Ishida what's up?" Ichigo asked as they walked along the shopping streets of Seireitei, looking intently at his boyfriend; but what ever he tried Ishida didn't seem to want to look him in the eye. Ichigo spied a tea house ahead and clasping Ishida's hand so he couldn't argue, dragged him to a quiet table under the cherry blossoms. Ishida sat down with a huff and frowned as Ichigo quickly ordered two Jasmine tea's. "So?"

"This is a nice... tea house." Ishida said looking around them and familiar faces milling past along the roadway.

"Yeah, whenever I pass I always see Byakuya talking to Ukitake in here." Ichigo explained before they fell into a quite silence that bordered on something awkward. Ichigo couldn't understand what was up with Ishida. The man seemed to want to stay locked in his own thoughts and Ichigo seemed unable to break into his newly erected barrier. This quiet and quaint garden seemed the ideal place to sit and wait it out with the hesitant brunette. Ichigo just wanted to know what could make the love of his life so introverted. He watched him from the corner of his eye hoping that he'd talk, hoping that he'd find the courage to say what ever was bothering him. It couldn't be that bad could it? It didn't feel natural to be so disconnected; before they'd been so tuned into each other without the need for too much chat.

But this visit was different, and for the life of him, Ichigo couldn't work out why. "Ishida..."

"Ichigo..." They both spoke at the same moment and paused with equal strained expressions on their face.

The waitress returned with their tea and kneeled at their table. The two men watched her pour the amber steaming fluid into the two mugs and present them. Ichigo smiled in thanks as Ishida looked down mesmerised by the white petals floating on the surface of his drink. His hands cupped the warm mug. "Ichigo we need to talk." He said quietly.

"Good cos this silence is killing me." Ichigo sipped his tea. "We're supposed to be in love, yet I don't know what's going on in your head right now." Ishida had looked up at the word love and taken in Ichigo's concerned expression. "What ever it is, I'm here for you you know." The hand that crossed the table as an offering of support for the Quincy was stared at, almost in paralysed fear. "You're really freaking me out now. Just tell me what's up will you?" Ichigo added with his serious tone.

"Ichigo I'm getting married." Ishida knew he couldn't avoid this converstaion, but he would have wanted it to be somewhere more private. He hoped, he just hoped that Ichigo would understand and for once not go overboard.

"Yeah very funny."

"My father has arranged it. A week after I graduate. He's even booked the temple already."

"Your serious?" Ichigo was struck dumb, his mind seemed to be falling into a seizure.

"Your father, he made it a condition of his agreement. I had to tell you."

"What's my dad got to do with this? You're acting as if he caught you in the act with someone." It was only meant as a joke but Uryuu's stoic face broke the laugh that come out.

"I guess I did kiss her when he was there."

"Kiss? So just how far does kissing go Uryuu?" Ichigo felt his stomach readying for a huge dive. It was as if his life was sitting on a huge precipice waiting for the shove that was going to push him off the edge.

"Ichigo..." The expression on Ishida's face provided enough of a push.

"Fuck... Ishida... I thought you loved me? I thought that we... us... you've been cheating on me!"

"Or on her which ever way you look at it."

"Oh yeah very smart comment. We've been going since before I died, were you cheating on me then too?"

"I, no... not quite." Ishida had to drop his eyes from the pain he saw reflected back in the damp orbs watching him.

"Not quite! Just how not quite Ishida." Ichigo found his anger rising and his hissed out his question.

"Ichigo people are staring." Ishida shrunk under the scrutiny of the others, who were all listening in on their private but obviously not-so-quiet conversation.

"What your ashamed to let everyone know what a sneaking betraying bastard you are? When Uryuu? When did you start to see this girl?"

"Your funeral." Ishida did not want this conversation here. He didn't want it at all, but he couldn't hide his lie any longer. As much as he wanted to run from this barricaded garden he couldn't run and hide the truth from Ichigo any more.

"Oh well isn't that the cherry on the icing. At my funeral. That heart broken were you?" Ichigo sneered at the pale faced and embarrassed man sitting opposite.

"I knew you were okay! You where here, I knew that. What did you want me crying over you? Weeping for a year and wearing black!" Ishida found his own anger and threw back his retort.

"I didn't expect you to go behind my back and shag the first thing that came along! So who is it? If she was at my funeral, who is it? I must bloody well know her! Orihime?"

"No. Yuzu." It was a quiet whisper, quiet enough for Ichigo to miss, but he didn't. Denial instead got in the way.

"What! What? No no no... Who?" He looked flustered, flabbergasted and horrified all at the same time. This surely was a very weird joke. Not his little sister, that was just laughable.

"Your sister. Yuzu."

"You. Are. Fucking. My. Sister! My little sister! Oh My God... just... oh my god..." Ichigo didn't even intend to do it, it just happened by instinct. He stood and before Ishida knew what was going on, Ichigo's fist connected with his jaw and the unsuspecting adulterer fell from the seat clutching his face.

Ishida shook his long hair from his eyes and looked up from the floor to the fire of rage brewing in Ichigo's face. "If it means anything, I'm sorry."

"Sorry! SORRY! Get out of my sight. Get out of my sight before I slice you in fucking two!" Sorry didn't take away the feeling of a huge hole of pain in his chest or the fire of betrayal and lies. It didn't cover the swell of tears threatening to surpass the anger raging in his hands that gripped Zangetsu over his shoulder.

Ishida moved slowly, wary of the bounty of emotions running across Ichigo's face. Making a move towards his bow now would be a mistake, it was best he kept his movements predictable. But he faltered in his footsteps as Ichigo's tears began to fall in two floods down his cheeks.

"Why? This was right wasn't it? This was what we both wanted? I thought this was the real thing you know... This was meant to be the time of our lives, you know we said it, we were going to just have a great time, enjoy being in love before you had to settle down to working with your father..."

Ishida wished he didn't care so much for Ichigo. Seeing so much obvious pain was breaking him in two, he never ever meant to hurt him like this. He just fell out of love, not out of caring or friendship. "But with you here... its been disjointed." Ichigo couldn't argue with that. The distance relationship had been hard but he thought they'd made it work as best they could. "Please, I didn't want to fight, I didn't want to hurt you."

"No. Sleeping with my sister, who would have thought that would hurt me hey?" The row had escalated now into loud angry voices but both men were now oblivious to their surroundings as they focused on how hurt they both were.

"You must have noticed that as time has gone on, there was a distance between us. You'd gone too far away from me... I needed you and you weren't there. Was I meant to be happy with the odd weekend and evening? Sex that's all it became Ichigo!"

"It may well have just been sex for you, but it wasn't to me!"

"I had loved you. But you died and left me behind."

"Oh I am so sorry! I knew I shouldn't have planned to stop that fucking lorry with my head! So what this is all my fault is it? Because I had to come to Soul Society you saw that as justification to sleep with Yuzu. Stop trying to push this on me! I'm not the one who has been sleeping around. Loved me! It all seems like a big joke now... maybe I did you a favour by dying. Did you want her all along? Hey did you? Did you want your fathers hospital so badly? He'd never give it to his gay son! Did he ever know about us? Did you ever have the balls to tell him?" Ishida tried to ignore the forceful jabs that were directed at his chest.

"I never told him." He replied quietly.

"No but you told him about my sister apparently!" The pain had radiated into a sneering hate that Ishida knew he deserved but felt no better for that knowledge.

"Please Ichigo I'm trying here..."

"What to make it better? Make it better for who? You? So you can walk away from me without the guilt? Its your fault we are in this crisis. Don't try and go easy on yourself!"

They stood a moment watching each other. Petals drifted silently down from the trees and settled around them, their forgotten drinks went cold and the other patrons tried to not look too interested.

Ichigo fished inside his robes for his money pouch and threw some coins on the table.

"So..." Ishida spoke quietly. "I guess..."

"Yeah." Ichigo looked at him squarely ignoring the tears he felt on his own face, but noticed were not on Ishida's. But I love you...

...

The closing door to his apartment sounded like a final nail in his coffin and Ichigo sank to his knees. His head fell forward on the carpet and he sobbed heartily, gripping his stomach for the dull ache that had settled.

"Ishida." He spoke into the carpet as his eyes swelled and reddened, his throat rasped and his nose ran. "I love you, you bastard. I fucking love you."

There he stayed, weeping and weeping.

News travels along the gossip vines fairly quickly in Seireitei, hangovers or not. It was bound to get around with such a public break up. The pounding on his door didn't stir him to move, even if the rough matting had etched its pattern in his forehead and his drool had pooled into a stain.

"Ichigo!" The pounding continued accompanied by the voice of his father. Even the splintering of wood didn't move him or the heavy footsteps that turned into knees beside him. "Ichigo." The voice said softer this time, echoing an understanding of pain and sympathy. "Come here son." Two strong arms drew him into his fathers chest.

It had always been this way with Isshin. He had always been so afraid of Ichigo hurting again like he had after his wife died. Watching from the sidelines as two of his children fell in love with the same person had been incredibly difficult knowing at some point the pain would reach one of them.

In some ways he hoped in the lesser of two evils, that it would have been Yuzu. She might appear weak and needy, but she had an inner strength that meant she could adapt. She always found strength in something else and after Masaki she'd turned her pain into caring for her family like her mother would have done. Ichigo on the other hand, his pain was keener in the first place for being with his mother and feeling so responsible for her death. It had made the life changing experience, all that more dramatic for him and his whole personality had been affected. Once happy and smiling then forever, angered and bitter.

Isshin cleaned him up as much as was possible between bouts of outpouring. Finally his body was just too overwhelmed and exhausted to cry any more and Isshin pressed him in his bed. Sleep was welcome from this heart break and Ichigo didn't fight it when it came.

"Yuzu?" He spoke sleepily to the man sitting beside him. "She happy?" Even though his heart was broken beyond repair, he could place himself in the arms of protecting his loved ones and use that to not hate his sister. He could use his sense of devotion to her happiness. He was her big brother before and beyond everything else.

"Only because she doesn't know about you." Isshin stroked his sons hair. "I'm sorry Ichigo."

"Not your fault." Ichigo closed his eyes and tugged the covers higher around his head.

"But I just feel..." Isshin's voice was soft and caring. The weight of his guilt laced his tone.

"Dad. Its not your fault." Ichigo said again opening his eyes and patting his dads hand before closing his eyes and pretending to fall asleep.