A/N: I like it, and I know people have done an MSN thing before, but this is my version… Also, the original version of this story was in purely chat format and it was brought to my notice that that is not allowed here on FF. I offer profuse apologies to anyone else who might have been offended by this.
And so I went back, and added some nice paragraphs in between, which I later realized, might actually make the story better!
So go ahead, read and maybe have a laugh!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor am I affiliated in any way to J. K. Rowling or her publishers.
Ron Weasley was sitting idly in the Gryffindor common room. Wasting away and not doing that potions essay that was due the following day… He tried not to think about that, opened his laptop and signed into messenger. He cast around for someone to talk to, and began to chat.
Albus Dumbledore had introduced a muggle program at Hogwarts, which implied that the students become acquainted with muggle technology. And then came the television sets, the radios, and various brands of mobile phones. These were followed quickly by the computers, which were popular to say the least. The internet was interesting enough, and then the students discovered…MSN.
Well, let's just say they never used owls to communicate within Hogwarts again.
Harry Potter appears to be online.
Chudley Cannons: Hey, Harry! What's up?
Harry Potter: Oh, you know… the usual!
Chudley Cannons: Okay!
Harry Potter: Err, Ron? You do know we're in the same dormitory. We could just talk to each other…
Chudley Cannons: But this is funner! And its freeeeeeee!
Harry Potter: That maniacal glint in your eye is a little scary.
Chudley Cannons: How did you know my eye was glinting?
Harry Potter: I can see you.
Chudley Cannons: Damn.
Harry Potter: And seriously Ron… funner?
Somewhere at the other end of the boy's dormitory, Harry Potter rolled his eyes. Deciding that he couldn't survive a whole conversation with Ron, who was in all honestly a bit dim, he added Hermione to the conversation, and watched the words appear on the screen…
BookWorm has been added to this conversation.
BookWorm: Hey, you guys!
Chudley Cannons: Hermione! *drools*
Harry Potter: Ron, could you be a little discreet? At least on MSN…?
BookWorm: Ron! *vomits*
Chudley Cannons: That hurt, Hermione.
BookWorm: It was meant to.
Chudley Cannons: …
BookWorm: What?!
Chudley Cannons: *sulks*
Harry Potter: God, no. Not the sulking.
Chudley Cannons: *sulks* *sulks*
BookWorm: Shut up, Ronald.
Chudley Cannons: *SULKS*
BookWorm: OKAY! I'm sorry! Stop with the sulking.
Chudley Cannons: Gladly. I forgive you, by the way. You can repay me by doing my potions essay…
BookWorm: You haven't done it yet? You do know it's due TOMORROW…
SmirkingSlytherin has been added to this conversation.
BookWorm: … And its two rolls of parchment on the Irritating Solution!
SmirkingSlytherin: What, Snape's essay? Mine's finished. Hello, Hermione.
Harry Potter: Ron and I are here as well, you know.
BookWorm: … And frankly, I disagree with Dumbledore on having installed all these muggle contraptions. I mean, MSN is certainly better than owls, but seriously… First the television, now the laptops! It's all so distracting… Non-magical exposure, my ASS!
Harry Potter: What is she talking about?
SmirkingSlytherin: Her ass.
Chudley Cannons: Her ass. And something about exposure…
Harry Potter: …
BookWorm: Oh, hi Draco!
Chudley Cannons: WHAT?!
Harry Potter: Draco?!
Chudley Cannons: MALFOY!
Harry Potter: Draco?!
Chudley Cannons: FERRET!
Harry Potter: Draco?!
Chudley Cannons: WHAT?!
SmirkingSlytherin: Are they always like this?
BookWorm: Worse.
Harry Potter: Wait a minute…
Chudley Cannons: You two are on-
Harry Potter: -first name basis?!
BookWorm: That was so the Weasley twins, it was creepy.
SmirkingSlytherin: Seriously, Hermione. We already have two of those, we don't need four.
Harry Potter: Haha.
Chudley Cannons: HEY!
SmirkingSlytherin: Hello! *sniggers*
Harry Potter: What?
Chudley Cannons: DON'T LAUGH AT HIS JOKES!
BookWorm: No need to yell, Ron.
Chudley Cannons: I'M NOT YELLING!
BookWorm: You're caps locking!
Harry Potter: Yeah, capslocky anger is my thing!
Chudley Cannons: …
Harry Potter: What? Haven't you read the Order of the Phoenix?
BookWorm: *hyperventilates* There's a book I haven't read?
SmirkingSlytherin: Not likely. Potter's making things up as usual, Hermione…
Harry Potter: There you go with the usage of first names again!
SmirkingSlytherin: Is that a problem, Potty?
Harry Potter: You bet, Malferret.
SmirkingSlytherin: You want to duel it out?
Harry Potter: Just give me the time and place for your demise.
SmirkingSlytherin: Don't be so cocky, or I'll give you your second scar. Are you scared, Potter?
Harry Potter: You wish.
BookWorm: ENOUGH! Draco, apologize to Harry!
SmirkingSlytherin: But… but…he started it!
BookWorm: Now, Draco!
SmirkingSlytherin: Sorry about that, Potter.
Harry Potter: I… I accept your apology.
Chudley Cannons: Has the world gone mad? Malfoy listening to Hermione…? And… apologizing to Harry Potter?!
SmirkingSlytherin: Don't get used to it. That was purely a one-time thing.
BookWorm: I'm proud of you, Draco…
Chudley Cannons: Does anybody want to tell me what the bloody hell is going on?!
BookWorm: You tell them, Draco.
SmirkingSlytherin: You should. They're your friends.
BookWorm: I can't… You have to do it.
SmirkingSlytherin: No…
Harry Potter: SOMEBODY HAD BETTER TELL ME OR I WILL UNLEASH MY CAPSLOCKICITY UPON YOU!
SmirkingSlytherin: Alright, alright… You see…
Chudley Cannons: Yeah?
SmirkingSlytherin: The thing is… I mean to say…
Harry Potter: Malfoy…
SmirkingSlytherin: I'm dating Hermione.
Harry Potter: Dating?
SmirkingSlytherin: Yes, Potter. Dating… Going out with, in a relationship, courting, even…
Harry Potter: Courting? Ew.
BookWorm: Harry! Is that all you have to say?
Harry Potter: No, of course… I mean, does he make you happy?
BookWorm: Very.
SmirkingSlytherin: Very? You can do better than that…
BookWorm: Okay, extremely.
SmirkingSlytherin: Better, dear.
Harry Potter: PDA! PDA!
SmirkingSlytherin: This is hardly PDA, Potter. You should see some of the other stuff we get up to… But that's more of "Private display of affection" than public, if you catch my drift.
Harry Potter: I'm trying not to, to be honest.
BookWorm: Harry... this won't change anything, will it?
Harry Potter: Of course not, Hermione. Just let me know if he does anything vile and I'll come armed with a sharp, pointy object and rip off his privates.
SmirkingSlytherin: I'm right here.
Harry Potter: Consider yourself warned.
BookWorm: Thanks Harry, will do!
Harry Potter: Anytime… So, Ron, what do you reckon?
Harry Potter: Ron?
BookWorm: Ron?! Are you there?
SmirkingSlytherin: I'm trying to be worried, I honestly am…
Chudley Cannons: I'm here. And it's official.
SmirkingSlytherin: What's official?
Chudley Cannons: Hell has frozen over. So wrap up tight, Malfoy, because I'm coming over to kill you right about now.
SmirkingSlytherin: You know, I've started to become a wee bit uncomfortable here. Come to think of it, it might have something to do with the amount of death threats I've been getting…
BookWorm: No kidding… Ron, you aren't serious are you?
Chudley Cannons has left the conversation.
He was serious, though. Ron threw his laptop randomly in a rage, the computer groaned (or maybe that was Harry, due to the pain of having a laptop thrown where nothing should be thrown), and he stormed out impressively. Well, at least he thought so.
Harry Potter: He's storming out of the dormitory.
BookWorm: What?! Harry, stop him! He must not hurt Draco!
SmirkingSlytherin: You have little or no faith in my fighting skills.
BookWorm: GO, HARRY, GO!
SmirkingSlytherin: … Ah, might as well… GO, POTTER, GO!
Harry Potter: Okay, I'll be right back.
Harry ran after Ron, a little too late, but managed to catch up with him anyway, expert seeker skills and all that.
Ron's face was contorted with rage, and he rather resembled his mother, "Let me go, Harry."
"Don't be stupid, Ron," Harry said, trying to talk some sense into him, "Don't kill him. Won't a painful kick suffice?"
"I want to," he moaned, ever the incessant child.
"SHUT UP!" Harry said, throwing his dreaded capslockicity upon the poor, defenseless, and unsuspecting Ron, "DON'T YOU WANT HERMIONE TO BE HAPPY? THE ONLY REASON YOU CARE SO MUCH IS BECAUSE YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH –"
"OKAY!" Ron yelled back, displaying a promise for capslockicity himself, "Okay, but just… leave me alone."
He shoved Harry and ran outside the portrait hole, and Harry thought he saw tears running down his freckled face. He shuddered involuntarily, and returned to the chat conversation to see…
SmirkingSlytherin: Finally, we're alone… I was starting to think they'd never leave.
BookWorm: You're a bad boy, Draco, you…
Harry Potter: I'm back! Urgh, too much information… So this is what happened…
SmirkingSlytherin: Do go on. I'm sure we're just dying to know.
BookWorm: Shush, Draco.
Harry Potter: Ron is not coming over to kill you, Malfoy.
SmirkingSlytherin: Glad to here it…
Harry Potter: But he won't be returning here.
SmirkingSlytherin: I'm sure some of us regret that…
Harry Potter: He needs some time alone.
BookWorm: But why, what did I do?
SmirkingSlytherin: You said 'yes' when I asked you out.
Harry Potter: Yes, that's part of it.
BookWorm: What's the other part?
Harry Potter: I… don't think… I don't know.
SmirkingSlytherin: Don't play dumb, Potter!
Harry Potter: I'm not playing!
SmirkingSlytherin: …
Harry Potter: He… Okay, pinky promise you won't tell?
BookWorm: Of course.
SmirkingSlytherin: I'll pretend I didn't read that. I'll give you my word though.
Harry Potter: Ron's been in love with you since forever. And he's never told you because… he was afraid of rejection.
SmirkingSlytherin: I didn't know he swung that way! He's right about not telling me though. I'd have probably punched him.
Harry Potter: Hermione, not you.
SmirkingSlytherin: In…love…with…Hermione?
Harry Potter: Yes.
SmirkingSlytherin: I still want to punch him.
Harry Potter: Figures. Hermione…?
BookWorm: I… don't know what to say…
SmirkingSlytherin: 'He doesn't have a chance in hell with me!' would do.
BookWorm: I'll talk to him later… This must have been really hard on him…
Harry Potter: You have no idea.
SmirkingSlytherin: I like my version better.
Harry was smiling, appalled that he suddenly found Draco Malfoy a not-so-horrible match for his Hermione. He wiped a tear (or two), Hermione was all… grown up!
Suddenly, he was distracted by the fact that Ginny had signed in. A jolt went through his body at the words, "RedHead has just signed in" and he shook his head.
"Pathetic," he told himself, and then proceeded to be mortified that he had been talking to himself.
RedHead has been added to this conversation.
Harry Potter: Ginny!
SmirkingSlytherin: Another Weasley! Whoopee!
RedHead: Hey, Harry.
Harry Potter: Hermione knows about Ron.
RedHead: About time. Are they dating now?
SmirkingSlytherin: NO!
RedHead: And who are you?
SmirkingSlytherin: I'm the boyfriend.
RedHead: YOU'RE dating Ron?
Harry Potter: *shudder*
BookWorm: *gasp*
SmirkingSlytherin: NO! I'm with Hermione… Might as well get it over with… I'm Draco Malfoy.
RedHead: Of course you are! I can't believe I didn't see it!
SmirkingSlytherin: See…what?
RedHead: The name-calling…everything…it all adds up! You and Hermione are victims of UST!
BookWorm: If you say so, Ginny…
RedHead: Yeah. The boy who pulls your pigtails and teases you all the time is clearly in love with you. That's hot.
SmirkingSlytherin: I don't remember pulling your pigtails, Hermione.
BookWorm: I don't have any. But you did curse my hair that one time.
SmirkingSlytherin: Oh. Yes, well there is that.
LongBottom has been added to this conversation.
SmirkingSlytherin: No, no, NO! Not another Gryffindork!
LongBottom: Hello. Who are you?
SmirkingSlytherin: Always the same inane questions. Who are you? What do you want?
BookWorm: Are you quoting… Twilight, the movie?
Back in the Slytherin common room, Draco shuddered. No way was he telling his girlfriend that he might have… watched it one or two times. Or three or six…
SmirkingSlytherin: That… that vampire romance? Please, that's likely!
BookWorm: …
LongBottom: You're Draco Malfoy!
SmirkingSlytherin: Ding ding ding! We have a winner!
BookWorm: Sorry, Neville. Draco here's been watching too many game shows.
LongBottom: Right. Um, Ginny?
RedHead: Yes, Neville?
LongBottom: There's something… I need to ask you…
Harry Potter: HOLD ON, NEVILLE!
LongBottom: What?
Harry Potter:Will you go to the ball with me?
LongBottom: Well…I was going to ask Ginny, but I suppose I could go with you…
Harry Potter: I was talking to Ginny.
RedHead: *blushes* I'd love to, Harry.
Harry Potter: Right… well, that's settled…
LongBottom: Awkward.
Harry Potter: Hmm, yeah. You should probably leave.
LongBottom: You don't play fair.
Harry Potter: All's fair in love and war.
LongBottom has left the conversation.
SmirkingSlytherin: Speaking of the ball… we are going together, aren't we?
BookWorm: Wouldn't have it any other way.
Hermione smiled, wherever she was. He did that a lot. Making her smile had become a habit of his.
BewareOfNargles has been added to this conversation.
BookWorm: Luna?
BewareOfNargles: Hullo!
SmirkingSlytherin: I have… somewhere to be…
SmirkingSlytherin has left the conversation.
Harry Potter: I'm suddenly very busy…
Harry Potter has left the conversation.
BookWorm: I have to recheck my Potions essay. Its due tomorrow you know.
BookWorm has left the conversation.
RedHead: Well, there's really no point in me staying then, is there? Bye, Luna!
RedHead has left the conversation.
Loony (Sorry, Luna) Lovegood shrugged, somewhere in the Ravenclaw common room, and thought to herself, "I wonder why that keeps happening. Well, it's probably the Wrackspurt that's been floating around lately…"
She sighed and signed off.
BewareOfNargles appears to be offline.
A/N This is only a one-shot and will not be updated. It was just a fun thing I wanted to do, and is not to be read into too much. Thanks for reading, and please review!