A/N: Well, here we go again! Now, considering the topic of this story, I wanted to get at least one chapter posted before the finale airs. This will shift into an AU, as I doubt very much Kripke would do things my way :p This, surprisingly, is the third in the Puissance series, not the second. The second story that will sit in between this one and Puissance is about one half to three quarters finished. That story can be read as a standalone, but ties into the first story and moves the mytharc forward in time with the show's actual mytharc. So hopefully after this one is posted, I'll get the next one (the 2nd installment in the series) up afterwards :p I am currently also working on the fourth, and there may possibly be a fifth story to tie things all up. We'll see how far I get. :p

A/N #2: One thing I will mention here that is explained in the second story is that there is an OC that does appear in both stories, but does not get fully explained in this one. The character's name is Roxiel/Roxa and yes, she's an angel. She is not, however, A) a love interest (NEVER), or B) A Mary sue. (not going to happen). I think of her as a combination of Yoda (gotta love Star Wars) and Alice from Resident Evil. She's more an advisor and informant than anything, and appears in the latter half of this story. Her role is more fully explained in the second story, but I thought I'd give you a quick rundown here so you're not confused (nor do you get the idea that she is either of A or B.)

A/N #3: This IS an AU, so be forewarned. This was written before the finale aired (though I have seen the promos for it) and all spoilers mentioned in here (which are very few if any, I may add) are more so just speculation on my part. And my wild imagination. :p

A/N #4: Never had so many A/N's, lol. There will be some cussing so again, you've been warned. That, and in later chapters, you may need tissues, so ha! I've given you another fair warning :p Also, any spelling errors are sadly mine. I hope they don't detract from the story! (hopefully there aren't too many :p )

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters that appear on the CW's Supernatural. That includes Sam and Dean... but I wish I owned them :p ;)

Dean is sitting in one of the lounge chairs in the living room, an old dusty book resting in his lap, opened to a page with strange pictograms and drawings, but he isn't looking at it. He's staring into the fireplace, his face is void of his usual swagger and cockiness that has been steadily returning since his breakdown after dealing with Alastair.

He's alone.

Or at least he was, until Bobby stepped into the room, the older man carrying a plate with a cheese sandwich on it in one hand and a beer in the other. "You should eat something." Bobby murmured, placing the food and beer on the table beside the younger hunter when he received no response. He turned to leave, but was halted by the hoarse voice.

"We have to find him Bobby."

Bobby sighed, rubbing a tired hand through his grizzled beard before turning around. "We will, Dean." He attempted to bolster some courage, but even he is getting discouraged, feeling a pang of loss as if he's missing one of his own.

Well, it is his own – rather, one of his own. The Winchesters aren't the only ones that are fiercely protective. Sadly though, Bobby can acknowledge that he had his own hand in creating this mess.

Dean turned exhausted and haunted eyes on the other man. "He's been gone over a week, Bobby. We have to find him."

Bobby has heard this plea several times over the past week, and his response hasn't changed anymore than Dean's plea has. "We'll find Sam."

Dean snorts as he turns his head away, his face twisting into a grimace. "He's with Ruby." Dean hisses the name like its poison, and as far as Dean is concerned, that's all she is.

Poison. That's what Sam had been doing to himself in order to make himself stronger – feeding off Ruby's blood like it was a healthy no carbs drink.

For Bobby it answered a lot of questions, even if the idea of it was a bit horrifying. But Dean? Dean hadn't taken the finding well, in Bobby's opinion.

And that's how the whole intervention took place, right inside Bobby's house.

They had essentially locked Sam up in Bobby's safe house, keeping him there while the other two hunters had tried to figure out what to do with the youngest Winchester.

Turns out it was a good thing Bobby had built a second door with the lock on the outside, or Sam would have walked right out the door. The older hunter just didn't think he'd need to use it to keep one of the boys from getting out.

So for two and a half days, they all argued; there were a lot of angry words, tears, fists thrown and it had all been for nothing. Sam had walked out the door, had even knocked Bobby out to get away, but not before asking Bobby to shoot him first. The pain on the kid's face? Was heartbreaking. It wasn't the detox that was so horrible, but the defeated and downtrodden way he looked at Bobby before he placed Bobby's gun right above his heart. He looked like a man who was being marched to the gallows before he shoved the butt of the shotgun in Bobby's face.

The older hunter swallowed, trying to keep his own misery off his face as he played through the memory in his head again.

That was just over a week ago.

And Sam's horrific screams from those two and a half days still tore Bobby from sleep every time he closed his eyes.

Dean appeared to be waiting for him to say something else. "I'm still waiting to hear from a few contacts. They should be checking in in a few hours." He replied lamely, not having anything else to go on.

Dean gave him a simple nod in return, acknowledging him and dismissing him all in the same movement and Bobby left the living room feeling even more useless then when he had walked in.

Dean watched the older man leave, feeling a bit regretful for the dismissive attitude he'd taken with Bobby. He didn't mean it; it was just that he had other things on his mind.

He was feeling angry with Sam, but there was a lot of guilt mixed up in that anger. Things had gotten so screwed up between them ever since Dean had come back and neither one of them had been able to reach out to try and fix it. Oh, there had been attempts on both sides, but it just never seemed enough.

Dean sighed, closing the book and resting his chin in the palm of his hand, elbow leaning on the arm of the chair just staring at the fireplace once again. He just wanted Sam back – his brother, not the uber hunter, not the lies and deceit, and not the demonic bloody brewery that was Ruby attached at his hip.

He wasn't sure how long he just sat there, staring at the fire, but it was long enough that Bobby had resorted to shaking his shoulder roughly to get his attention.

"Dean? Dean!"

He sounded anxious, and Dean's thoughts immediately went to his brother. "Did you find Sam?"

Bobby shook his head. "Demons. A fairly large gathering at that."

Dean deflated. "Who cares." He turned sullen eyes turned back to the fire.

Bobby sighed heavily. "Because Lilith is there." The elder hunter watched in satisfaction as he saw Dean's shoulders stiffen, head turning around slowly to look at him, the dawning realization of what that meant sinking in.

"Where she is, Sam's bound to follow." He pulled himself roughly out of his chair, startling the other man. "Where?" He asked gruffly, moving towards the desk, pulling out a map.

Bobby shook his head in fond exasperation. He moved over to the table, glancing at the map as he tapped a spot on the worn paper with a calloused finger. "Here."

Dean furrowed his brows, looking at the area before glancing at Bobby with desperation, and for the first time in over a week, a little hope. Well what the hell are we waiting for?"

It had been a miserable past week for Sam, so much so that his attitude had relected it down to the last frown, being just as bleak and sour as the dark clouds that spit out rain almost every hour. Even Ruby kept chatter down to a minimal, sensing that Sam was not in the mood for communicating at present.

They were somewhere in Colorado, some crap hole Sam didn't know the name of. He didn't really much care.

It was hard for Sam to feel anything these days.

Ruby had taken off earlier that morning to go get supplies for some spell she wanted to try in order to locate Lilith. Sam could have cared less about it. He had his doubts that it would work. Every other spell the demon had tried hadn't landed any results, he suspected this one wouldn't be any different.

Sam sighed, running an agitated hand through his sleep tussled hair, fingers coming to rest against the yellow bruise on the left side of his jaw where his brother had punched him during their fight when Dean had confronted him at his motel room. It hadn't hurt near as much as the verbal tongue lashing and the whole being locked up like an animal had.

Sam grimaced. That had cut to the bone, cleaving everything in him in half. But what hurt the most? Was the disgusted look on Dean's face when he found out what Sam had been doing. He had looked at Sam like he was a monster, and Sam felt his soul shatter with the disappointed curl of his brother's lips. Oh sure, he was furious with his brother and Bobby for what they had done – he didn't think he'd ever been more angry at Dean in his entire life – but most of that anger was anger at himself, and heartbreak for how their relationship lay in tatters on the floor at his feet. The pang of loss was almost worse than when Dean was dragged off to hell.

Almost.

If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back.

You are a monster.

Sam's throat closed and he felt the prickle of tears at the corner of his eyes. But at least Dean was alive now, and Sam would take Dean hating him if it meant his brother stayed alive.

Besides, it's not like Sam planned to survive much longer.

Sam had a strong suspicion that he'd die trying to stop the last seal – either a demon, an angel, or God forbid his brother would end him. Sam never did have much hope for himself – damned a long time ago by a deal his mother made before he was born, and his fate sealed when he was six months old. A game he'd lost before it had even started. A game, it seemed, he now had to finish alone.

There's was a sudden scraping sound at the door as a key was slid into the lock, and Ruby opened the door and shut it quietly behind her, her face colored by determination. "What?" He asked dryly, more out of curiosity than actual concern.

"The demons are gathering in Connecticut. Word on the street is Lilith is there too." She answered distractedly, moving around the room and throwing a few items into her bag.

Sam grabbed her arm tightly in his grasp, and he could feel her wince from the pressure. "Are you sure?" He pressed, needing to know how long he had before hopefully this whole thing will be over. He doubts the angels would listen to a diseased demonic human freak, but Sam prays that Dean won't watch him die. Dean might just care enough to have it bother him, and Sam doesn't wish anymore suffering for his already overtaxed sibling.

Her eyes narrow and she tugs free from his grip. "Yes. And if we want to stop her before she breaks open the last seal, we better haul ass." She turns her back on him, throwing a small notebook on top of her bag, ignoring him.

Sam stays seated at the small table, watching her move about in a whirlwind as she gets all of her stuff together. Sam doesn't have much to pack at all, and he feels a pang in his chest when he realizes almost everything he has or owns is with Dean or in the Impala. Packing takes throwing four shirts, two pairs of new jeans, some socks, a couple pairs of boxers and a toothbrush, toothpaste and a razor in his bag and that's all he has.

Everything else is gone.

Maybe Dean will throw all my things out when this is over, Sam wonders bitterly as he pushes himself up to get ready to leave. Sam thinks he should. No need remembering him, because no one else is going to. Dead would be preferable to living as a shadow of himself, he thinks sadly.

Especially with no one to come home to.

Ruby pauses as she reaches for her silver blade. "You're still not strong enough yet, Sam. You're going to need more." Her eyes dart up to Sam's face, and she frowns at the cold distant eyes that stare back at her without a flicker of emotion. Ruby can't decide if this apathy is a good thing or not.

Sam doesn't say anything for a moment, but finally nods, sitting down on his bed, while Ruby sits on the other one. She makes a clean slice across the crook of her inner left arm, and blood immediately wells and Sam feels both a need and repulsion by it. As he reaches for her arm with a numb hand, he hears all the rants and harsh words said by the only two people left in this world that he loves. They think he's a monster, something worth damnation and Sam had tried so hard to fight against the truth, but as he brings her arm to his lips he knows he only has himself to blame, and he hopes that through his revenge, past all of his life's failures, that the one good thing he can do is protect those that deserve the chance to be saved.

And that someone will finish him off when this is over. And that he'll die alone.

Because he is alone.

They had been driving all day, with Ruby in the driver's seat and Sam slumped against the passenger door. They didn't talk much; there wasn't much need. Sam was feeling somewhere between hot and cold, his body thrumming was barely controlled energy. Hell, he could feel it all the way to the tips of his fingers, prickling like static electricity.

"You want to grab something to eat?" Ruby asked suddenly, the first words she's said in over 150 miles. It's woefully inadequate, and Sam feels the pressure and heartache of loss all over again. He shakes his head, and they pass through another sleepy town, unnoticed.

Silence descends on the car again as Sam stares out the passenger window, watching the sun sink beneath pink clouds and darkness begins to take hold. He stares at his reflection in the panel of glass, and he can't recognize the person staring back at him. Who is he? What is he? He's been asking himself that question almost his entire life, and he has still never achieved a relatively definitive answer. Words like freak and monster immediately spring to mind, and he glances away from his reflection in disgust.

Sam must have dozed off, because when he opens his eyes, he can tell they aren't far off. He can feel the demons that choke off this area like they'd just passed through a veil, and he knows that they have to get through them before he can get to Lilith.

He doesn't know…so close…only a little longer now…

Sam frowns, blinking a few times to clear his vision. "Did you say something?" He asked hesitantly, watching Ruby's face pucker into a frown.

"No, I didn't say anything. Why?" She glanced at him, truly perplexed by his question.

"Nothing." He shifts again in his seat, propping his head up with his hand against the door frame. He frowns when his sleeve slips down, the top of his wrist now exposed. He pulls his head back from the window and tugs on the material, bringing it to rest against mid arm. He tenderly traces the scars on his wrist with the pad of his thumb, fingering the ruff and jagged scars that run the length of his forearm. He has a matching one on his other arm too. He remembers this injury well. He should, as it only happened just over a month ago when he and Dean had discovered they had a half brother named Adam.

Too bad for them their real brother had already been killed by ghouls before they had even gotten there. It left them with bad memories and Sam almost bleeding out from slit wrists the ghouls had inflicted, and he had almost bled dry on the table while Dean fought with the ghoul wearing their half brother's face.

Sam tugged the sleeve up angrily to cover the wicked scars. He doesn't want anymore scars to remind him of his failure as a brother - to both of them.

He just wants this all over with.

Ruby stiffened next to him. "We're getting close. It won't be long now."

Sam felt that same nauseating feeling come over him as well. The air tasted of sulphur and ash, and he knew it wasn't because he was sitting next to a demon. One demon alone didn't give off this kind of vibe, or scent.

But a hundred or so would.

"You sure you're up to this Sam?" She asked quietly, glancing at him briefly before her eyes return to the road.

Was Sam ready? No. He thought. The stakes were huge, with every player on the field moving simultaneously to strike.

And for whatever reason, Sam had this pit in his stomach; a churning sickening feeling like something bad was going to happen to him tonight.

Maybe tonight would be the night after-all. Set things back to the way they were supposed to be. With his body six feet under.

"Sam?" She asked quietly, waiting for an answer.

He inhaled sharply, before releasing a breath in a heavy exhale. "Yeah. I'm ready."

It was dark by the time they pulled into Torrington, Connecticut. Ruby maneuvered the car into the empty parking stall and killed the engine. They both opened their doors and climbed out, Sam letting out a tired sigh, watching his breath come out in a wispy cloud.

So close, dammit. Just a littler further and he'll break...

Startled, he whipped his head around and stared at Ruby's retreating form. "Ruby."

She paused, her form illuminated by the dull yellow lamp light that was attached to the wall above her. She turned her head enough to see him, her eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean I'll break? Break what?" He could hear the accusatory tone in his voice, but he didn't care.

There was hesitation in her eyes, and her lips pressed together in a tight line. "I didn't say anything, Sam."

"Yes you did! I could hear you!" He shouted, not caring who heard. Except he should have, because Ruby wasn't the only one listening.

Sam felt something whiz over his head and he ducked instinctively, narrowly avoiding the steel pipe aimed at his head. The weapon cracked against the stone wall, shattering pieces of rock upon impact. Sam saw a flicker of black in the man's normally blue eyes and Sam mentally reached out and tossed the man into the wall, the crude weapon skittering across the gravel road.

"Who are you?" Sam barked, watching with a measure of satisfaction as the demon squirmed against the wall.

"Fuck you, Winchester. You think you're hot stuff?" The demon laughed hollowly, even when it cut off to a gurgle when Sam applied more pressure. "You're no better than we are, so don't come preaching here about doing the right thing."

Sam fumed, eyes darkening as he got in the demon's face. "Where's Lilith?" When the demon didn't answer, Sam curled one hand into a fist, the demon twitching and moaning in pain. "Where is she?!" He yelled, practically spitting the words in the monster's face.

He could feel the demon's will power weakening, much like Alastair had done months before. Another ounce of pressure and the demon screamed, twitching in earnest now. "Outside the city, outside the city!"

Sam eased off the pressure, glaring daggers. "Where?"

The demon heaved in air through strained lungs. "An old stone church, just outside city limits on the east side."

Sam absorbed that, clenching his hand once again, preparing to finish the bastard off.

The demon seemed to sense its immanent demise, and struggled weakly against invisible bonds. "You won't win, Sam." It hissed between clenched teeth. "You're only going to finish what we started." It smiled then. "You're going to set him free."

Sam paused, feeling the first tendrils of fear curl around his spine. "What do you mean?"

The demon smiled wickedly at him. "Why don't you ask your demon slut?"

Sam's eyes widened, glancing to his left where he'd last seen Ruby, but noticing there was no trace of the demon around.

The demon laughed a high pitched whistle. "Why do you think she was so invested in getting you to kill Lilith, huh? Get you all juiced up on demon blood, get your head so twisted around, you wouldn't question her motives or reasons for wanting Lilith's head on a plate." He chuckled quietly. "And it worked like a fucking charm."

Sam breathed heavily through his mouth, unable to come up with a response.

The demon curled his lips, running his tongue over his teeth. "One brother to break the first seal, the other one to break the last. Poetic justice, you might say."

Sam's breathing increased as he struggled to understand all this last minute information that he had just received. The man was still laughing when Sam ripped its demonic ass to shreds, the body lighting up like it had fireworks under its skin. The body slid to the ground, and Sam crouched down and numbly placed two fingers on the man's neck.

There was no pulse.

"Dammit." Sam hissed under his breath, running agitated fingers through his hair, feeling for the first time completely at a loss for what to do. "Shit. Shit, shit, shit." His whole world had been turned upside down just over a year ago. It righted itself nine months ago when Dean came back, and pulled another 180 when his family locked him away. And now his whole reason for going down this road, for risking everything to get revenge on the monster that killed his brother, and he was going to apparently break the last seal in his revenge.

Was the demon lying? Sam wasn't sure and it frightened him. He didn't know what to think or who to trust anymore. He wanted to scream the injustice of it all at the whole world, and curl up into a ball and cry.

He needed to talk to Ruby and figure this out - now. "Ruby!" He yelled, furiously waiting for the demon to appear.

Seconds turned into minutes, and Sam cursed something wicked under his breath and moved swiftly over to the driver's side door of her car, retching the door open wide and pulling at the wires under the dashboard.

Under a minute later Sam slammed the door shut and he drove off in the direction the demon pointed out, without Ruby at his side.

"Good."Sam mutters, eyes narrowed in anger and frustration as he leaves the town. "I'll do this on my own."

Sam pulls into a long winding driveway and comes to a stop in front of an old church, the walls a dusty grey color.

The lights are on inside, and they illuminate the dirty brown barn not one hundred feet away.

Sam turned the car off and pulled himself out, quietly closing the door behind him as he made his way up the stairs and pulled the large oak doors open a crack and slipped inside.

Sam walked past two narrow corridors and found himself in the main service area, littered with pews that are pushed against the far wall. There's a light sheen of dust on the window sills, and Sam knows that this church hasn't been used for a while.

A door creaks at the end of the hallway and Sam stealthily makes his way over, his head peering around the corner and his eyes narrow in on the two figures arguing with each other in the dimly lit room.

Ruby is there. And by the flash of white in the other lady's eyes, he would bet all money that it was Lilith as well.

Sam grits his teeth and inhales sharply through his nose as he pulls himself through the door, feeling two sets of eyes watch him as he saunters in, eyes fixed on the blonde woman wearing a white dress.

"Sam." Lilith calls, but it's more of a hiss than anything else as she watches him come in like an animal stalking a predator that has encroached on their territory.

Ruby says nothing, but the slight curl of her lips at Sam's entrance does nothing to settle the pit in his stomach.

"You finally found me." Lilith's eyes flicker white, before returning to brown. "Come here to kill me?"

Sam answers by telekinetically flinging her across the floor, hearing her head crack against what looks like a white tomb. He watches her touch the side of her head before her angry eyes meet his, and he looks back at her with loathing and immense hatred he has never held for anyone else. That hatred is reflected in his eyes, as his irises go black and spread to cover the whites of his eyes too, blinking them away in the next second, hazel returning to chase away the darkness that covered his eyes.

"That all you got?" She hisses, and once again, she's flung across the floor till her back hits the wall, pinning her there and Sam sees real fear flicker across the plains of her face.

Ruby stays behind him, and he can't see her feral smirk behind his back.

"I've waited," He takes a big inhale and let's the breath out just as quickly, "for a long time for this." Sam answers coldly, feeling his powers swell underneath his skin.

Lilith sneers at him from her position on the wall. "Then give me your best shot."

A/N: Whew! Well now, that sets things up to be a doozy huh? :p Sorry, not a ton of action, but more stuff to come! We'll get Dean in there in the next chapter. And just what is Sam going to do? *ponders that* Guess you'll have to find out. :p