WARNING: This chapter is the end of the story, and it ends BADLY. Why, you ask? You'll see. You'll all see! MUWAHAHA!

Chapter VIII

Sasuke felt disgusted with himself for agreeing to what Naruto had suggested, but it had made sense. It still made sense, even now.

Sakura was weak. He hadn't devoted much time to studying her, but he had occasionally seen her spar against the other academy students. She'd been very unimpressive. Then again, so had Naruto, but the Uchiha refused to believe that the girl had also been keeping her abilities hidden. And even if she had, Naruto's stark indifference was somewhat preferable to ardent fandom Sakura cultivated.

It was a cruel thing to do, to trick the girl into helping them while at the same time killing whatever chance she had at passing. Had Naruto always been so cold, but never showed it? Or was there simply some bad blood between he and Sakura that he wasn't privy to? Regardless, Sasuke found himself leery of Naruto. Anybody who could so casually betray someone on their own team was not to be trusted very far...

Naruto was waiting for them at the ambush site, waiting to unleash his traps on Kakashi. And Sakura. He didn't know what to expect, but Naruto had assured them both that what he had prepared would probably do the trick. Sakura hadn't thought to question how they were supposed to evade the traps, and Sasuke knew exactly how he was going to.

He wasn't even going to approach them. Sakura would lure the jounin in, and be trapped along with him.

But Sasuke was not about to question such tactics, not now. Useless as she might be, it was better that she was working with them than against them. Or Naruto, rather.

Still, there was something intrinsically dirty about what Naruto had suggested.

Leading the way for both of them, blissfully unaware of their dark dealings, Haruno Sakura silently thanked whatever fluke or chance of fate had seen fit to deliver this opportunity. She was working with Sasuke! And when he realized that she was a much better choice than Naruto, they would both band against the boy. Love would triumph!

She burst into the clearing from a tree bough, scanning the area for her quarry. Behind her, she could hear Sasuke follow suit.

The jounin seemed somewhat surprised to see them both attacking in such a manner. He quickly recovered, and waited for them to approach.

Sasuke pushed all doubts aside as he readied himself. This was but one small step on his path to vengeance, and he had long ago decided that he would do anything and everything that was necessary.

Naruto was a patient boy. He was used to waiting. In the middle of what he liked to think of as his own personal playground of nastiness, he was prepared to wait until the light of day died below the horizon and the stars began to shine.

Or until he got hungry enough to leave. He felt it necessary to mentally add this when his belly rumbled once more, disturbing the calming silence he'd been enjoying for the last few minutes.

He ignored it, and instead focused on his task of rechecking the traps he'd laid.

Most of the scrolls he'd laid were still active, just waiting for someone to get close enough. A few had died, the chakra he'd infused into them wearing down or sprung when some forest creature made the mistake of trying to get past them.

It had been a small comfort to see their small forms mummified in paper. Some he'd freed, as they might alert Kakashi to the nature of this place, but others...

Others had long ago been crushed to death. Those he'd simply hidden away.

The other traps were more mundane in nature. Snares and tripwires and passive genjutsu scrolls and even a few explosive scrolls were all primed and ready to detonate. It was his own personal web, and he was confident it would snare his enemy. Maybe even maim him, if fate was truly cruel today. Naruto doubted it, though.

Never once did he stop to consider Sakura's spot in the whole mess. She was a triviality, a nuisance. She didn't have a chance to pass, and she had to be a fool to believe that Sasuke would choose her over him. His value to a team had been demonstrated, his skill was not in doubt. Not much, anyway.

He settled down to wait once more, listening intently to the sounds of the forest. It was a glorious quiet, one that he rarely had a chance to savor in the village. There was always some kind of noise, whether it was the people or businesses when out on the street or the few other residents in his apartment block. There was no silence to be had in Konoha.

There was rarely a moment that could be spared from his surveillance of Uchiha Sasuke, but what little he had had been devoted to training. His chakra control, strength and speed were all above normal for his age, but they had not availed him against Kakashi. Truly, a mere genin was a far cry to a jounin.

But he was confident that fighting here would at least give him some kind of advantage. There was no possible way that Kakashi could-

The silence was broken, and Naruto was alert. Further speculation was useless, action was needed now.

Sakura was shouting, shrilly and with urgency. From this distance he couldn't make out what she was saying, but he hardly considered it relevant. Very little of anything she said ever was. Instead, he focused on the direction from which it was coming from.

He took off in the opposite direction of the sound, taking care to make little noise himself. He didn't want to be seen yet, and as much as he had grown to like his flamboyant attire it wouldn't help him here. He would have to remember to buy something else for missions.

Sasuke would be waiting on the outskirts, watching for a moment to strike if Kakashi tried to get away. It wasn't likely, but they all had to do everything they could to make things easier.

"He's hee~re!" The shouting was even louder now, closer. "Here! He-"

Sakura's shouting was suddenly cut off.

Naruto sprang into action, knowing that now was the time to attack. Either she had sprung a trap, or Kakashi had caught up with her. Either way, there was a chance the jounin was preoccupied with something.

The trees blurred by as his chakra-laced muscles threw him forward, all while he scanned his surroundings furiously for any sign of the jounin.

"Naruto! What the hell is this?"

The sudden scream took him by surprise, coming as it did so close to him. He allowed himself to skid to a halt, his hands going to his pouches as he did. Eyes narrowed and armed with a pair of kunai, Naruto decided to search his surroundings for Sakura.

He didn't understand it. This area hadn't been outfitted with anything more dangerous than a passive genjutsu. He'd carved the seals into a series of trees, allowing their natural chakra output to power them as they covered the area in illusion. It was a weak illusion, to boot. Merely lines of flickering lights or shadows, making a casual observer believe there was a tripwire there.

But he'd heard Sakura here, of that he was certain.

He prowled through the area, a puzzled frown on his face as his search turned up nothing. There was only a small animal path through the area, and a whole lot of trees.

Naruto furrowed his brows angrily.

"Naruto! Get OVER here!"

This time the voice came from a ways off. Naruto's head snapped in the direction of the sound, and his hands had twirled their blades nervously.

The voice was Sasuke's though.

How had the heir gotten past him, and why hadn't Naruto noticed him? Besides, he wasn't supposed to have gotten this far, the outskirts were a good distance away yet. Why would the boy risk-

He wouldn't. The realization struck Naruto suddenly, suddenly seeing a fatal flaw in his plan. Of course Kakashi would see through a trap like this, and would have done something to turn the tables right back on them.

And judging by his own disorientation, it seemed likely that the jounin had done something to turn the tables on them. More specifically, him.

'Illusion!' Naruto throught frantically, as he hastily dropped his kunai and made the handseal for a genjutsu cancellation.

"Release!" He growled, and watched in mild confusion as his surroundings seemed to blur, then shift.

The trees stayed where they were, but suddenly Naruto was up to his ankles in water. It was a strange sensation, to one moment be dry and warm, the next to be cold and wet. And for there to have been absolutely no changeover in the two contradicting states.

The subtle change in his surroundings made Naruto pause in shock for a moment, before he realized where he was.

Outside the trapped area.

Naruto whirled around to see both Sakura and Sasuke fighting not far away, each one trying frantically to hold the jounin off while the other tried to get his attention. Noting the local scenery, he further narrowed down his location and what he could expect.

Naruto suddenly blanched when he did.

The scrolls!

"Get away from there!" Naruto shouted, with a bit of panic. "Get out now!"

While he was sure that Kakashi could have modified his genjutsu against him with minor effort, the scrolls couldn't even be touched by anybody but him without being activated.

Naruto charged into the fray, shouting at his teammates. He tried frantically to get there as fast as he could, but even as he did he could see Sasuke flashing through a series of hand seals.

His eyes wide with horror at what was to come, Naruto dug into his pockets for what was to come.

"No! Don't do it!"

Uchiha Sasuke heard the blonde shriek out the warning but ignored it. First the boy went right past them, then he ignored them completely. Obviously Kakashi had already ensnared the boy in genjutsu, before the battle had even started.

'I was a fool to believe in him.' The Uchiha growled internally, a small sneer forming on his features. He continued to form the seals, wondering briefly if Sakura knew what he intended. She probably did, as she'd likely seen his earlier fight with the jounin. But even if she didn't...

Well, it certainly was a good way to find out if she was worth anything as a ninja.

He inhaled deeply, savoring the faint feeling of pride that welled inside him whenever he performed this technique.

The fires hadn't even ignited when everything went horribly wrong.

It was as if the trunks of the trees around him and suddenly exploded, but the lack of wooden shrapnel soon told him otherwise. But the way the trees simply erupted had startled him enough to completely botch the flow of chakra, but by then the damage had already been done.

A trio of scrolls, painted on one side to closely resemble the trees they'd been wrapped against, tore through the air with a faint nimbus of pale blue at both ends and an angry hiss.

It was enough to stop Kakashi and Sakura where they stood, watching is fascination as the scrolls snaked through the air towards the young Uchiha, both somewhat perplexed as to what was happening.

They were saved from further speculation, however, as kunai flew out and ripped through the scrolls, which continued hurtling through the air. They latched onto the Uchiha which an audible slap.

They began slowly crawling across his body, their loose ends flapping loosely as they moved.

Sasuke was the first to recover, if only because the strange tickle of the scrolls as they moved across him quickly annoyed him.

"What the hell are these?" He demanded loudly, shooting the blonde a glare.

But nobody paid attention, and instead of answering Naruto barreled into the clearing, his arms already reaching to unleash a second volley of kunai. Kakashi had time enough to leap backwards as the blades slashed out towards him, buying the others enough time to sufficiently recover.

"Push him further in!" Naruto shouted, his body blurring as he activated the Hidden Spider Hands. "We can stop him there!"

What little faith Sasuke had lost in the boy became moot as instinct took over, and the earlier sentiment he had earlier taken up returned.

Anything to get to Itachi. If that included helping the idiot, then so be it. He moved to back the blonde up, tearing the scrolls from his body as he did so. Annoyingly, the ends refused to be removed, and continued their slow navigation of his body.

Sakura obeyed by way of shuriken, throwing a volley at their instructor whenever the boys were forced back. The effort was easily countered by the jounin, but it did give the boys a little time to recover.

The going was hard, and the jounin didn't let the boys herd him deeper into the trapped area easily. The only reason he did in the first place was mostly to see what else Naruto had prepared, and how Sasuke and Sakura would handle fighting in a heavily trapped area.

The two boys didn't fight well together. Once he'd discovered the secret of Naruto's strange technique, all he really had to do to see through it was listen. And while Sasuke was very talented, he simply couldn't match the skill of a jounin. And together, they both got in the other's way instead of working with one another like teammates were supposed to. However, both boys were predisposed to fighting alone, so he couldn't blame them for that.

He never the less found it a bit strange that the two, coming from backgrounds that were only similar in that they had no parents, had nevertheless developed rather similar personalities. Both were horribly inept in all matters relating to social niceties, both were intensely focused on their ninja careers (though for different reasons, he knew), and both were very distrustful of others.

And both also had their strengths. Upright fighting, Sasuke was clearly the better. He had a better grasp of taijutsu and a wider array of combat skills. He was also likely to develop the Sharingan in the coming years, which would only add to his abilities. The boy was also in better physical shape than Naruto. From the reports Kakashi had read, combat was just about the only thing Sasuke trained in. Stealth, sealing, illusion, these were all things that the boy had glossed over in the academy training, and dismissed as unimportant to his goals. Hatake Kakashi, a legendary assassin known abroad for his wide repertoire, would have loved to have heard the boy's logic to that train of thought.

But where Sasuke excelled in straight combat, Naruto compensated with pure, sinister cunning. Kakashi had seen what his would-be students had tried to lure him into, and was a bit appalled by what he had seen.

It wasn't often that a genin set up lethal traps against his own jounin instructor without orders, after all. And such an array! Some of the traps he'd seen were very uncommon, such as the Chakra Bind Scrolls that Sasuke had triggered. Almost exclusively for solo-operation, they were just as likely to harm an ally as an enemy. Kakashi was forced to wonder how the boy had managed to gather the funds to purchase some of the items he'd found, but after witnessing the whole of what the boy had set up he assumed the boy simply stole them. Which in itself was impressive, considering that he'd have stolen them from stores owned by men and women familiar with ninja techniques.

Two young shinobi with very different styles and goals coming together for the good of the 'mission'.

He was almost tempted to give them a pass here and now, based solely on their willingness to cooperate. And he would have, if he hadn't overheard what Naruto had suggested.

He'd known that the blonde didn't care much for the other academy students, but that he'd deliberately mislead and betray one of them to serve his own goals...

Well, it was a thought that made him very angry.

It wasn't a thought the previous genin sent to be trained by him had often come up with. Most wasted their strength against him alone, or if they did try to pair up it was only after much persuasion. But Naruto was the first to deceive the third member into working for him with no chance of passing.

It was the dark side of the lesson he was trying to teach, the exact opposite of the wished-for result.

Sasuke lunged past the blonde, starting a vicious offensive that forced the jounin back briefly before he caught the Uchiha in a counterattack that sent the boy sprawling. With a squawk of shock, Sakura emptied the last of her kunai against the man before moving to the raven-haired boy's side with a speed that Kakashi was surprised she possessed.

Naruto, seeing he was alone, frowned and drew himself back.

A hand dug into one of his pouches, his eyes never faltering for a moment as he stared down the jounin. For a moment the only sound to be heard was the groaning of Sasuke and fierce, worried administrations of Sakura. And, just on the edge of hearing, the soft rustlings as the strange boy searched his pocket for something.

Kakashi waited with honest curiosity, wondering what the boy had in mind.

His hand slashed out holding the end of a scroll, unrolling and unleash it in one smooth motion. He bit down hard on his free hand, the thumb, allowing a trickle of blood to flow forth. He then dragged his wounded finger across the parchment, staining the pristine black and white with a vibrant red.

The scroll glowed blue, and the blood shifted of its own accord into seals that Kakashi didn't quite recognize.

The boy flung the scroll at him, and the jounin noticed with slight disconcertion that the scroll was now hissing angrily.

Another Chakra Bind Scroll. The jounin thought with a frown, and with a casual toss of shuriken.

He was greatly surprised when the scroll simply bounced off them instead of the expected shredding. A glance was all he needed to see what was wrong, as Naruto had never released the other end of the scroll, instead mas

king his actions with a genjutsu. And while he held the scroll, he could channel chakra into his end, infusing the paper with it and making it more robust.

And now one end of the scroll latched hungrily onto his arm, and began its wandering path upwards.

Kakashi knew what would happen now. The scroll was incredibly attracted to chakra signatures foreign from the one that had first activated it, and once it latched on would continuously drain chakra from the victim to increase its own durability and increase its own draining abilities. As this happened, the ends of the scrolls would follow the flows of chakra, flows that inevitably led them on an encircling path of the torso. The longer they stayed on and active, the harder they would be to take off, and the tighter they'd become, until eventually crushing the victim.

And now it was on him, and the bastard boy had fused it with enough chakra to make it resist shuriken. He'd have to limit his chakra usage now, and if the smug smirk the genin wore was any indication Naruto knew it as well.

Naruto threw the other end quickly, his smirk widening into a full-blown smile of evil merriment as it smacked against his belly.

"Success." He stated, and threw himself forward. "We have him!"

He fell on Kakashi like a ton of bricks, what little finesse he'd previously had thrown to the winds. He had the jounin snared, and now he wanted him broken.

It was almost comical to see the silver-haired cyclops swat the boy away mid-leap, allowing only a small amount of internal chakra to enhance the movement. It would cause the scroll to do its work fast, but it was worth it to see the shocked look pass over the boy's face as he was once again thrown down.

Further away Sasuke was struggling to his feet, a determined grimace on his face and a dagger in his hands. He shrugged Sakura away roughly as he did, instead barking out an order.

"Help me."

And it must have been the way he said it, or perhaps something that had been forming in the girl's mind from before, but when she followed him into combat against Kakashi the jounin came to regret it.

It wasn't that she was particularly fast, nor was her technique refined to deadly keen, but that she hit hard. There should have been no way for the girl to wield such strength, but somehow she did.

Probably using chakra-enhanced strength without even knowing it. The jounin thought morosely, dodging away from that whistled just sort of his midriff. It was unfortunate that the girl didn't know how to use it consciously, but in a way it very fortunate that he didn't have to deal with it just now. There would always be a later time to consider that.

Sasuke came in with a vicious flying kick as the jounin skittered away from the pink haired girls assault and would nearly have been caught by it had he not thrown himself backwards into a smooth black-flip.

And then, seemingly from nowhere, an orange mask swirled into existence. Behind it a man formed, wearing a long dark robe.

For a moment the only thing anyone could do was stare at the intruder, wondering just what was going on.

"Err, can I help you?" Kakashi asked, shrugging off Naruto's scrolls with his awesome ninja skills. "I think you're a bit lost. You aren't supposed to appear until chapter-"

"Tobi wasn't supposed to appear in this story at all!" The man complained loudly. "But that can't be right, because Tobi is a good boy!"

"Tobi is retarded." Naruto deadpanned, his eyes narrowing. "Tobi should have used his apparently godlike skills to complete his plan before anyone had a chance to stop them. Tobi-"

Black flames erupted on Naruto's jumpsuit, and with an uncharacteristically terrified squawk the boy hastily tried to beat them off him, which served only to spread the fire to his hands.

"Tobi is awesome, you socially retarded maladroit!" The masked man shouted.

"Oh my god!" Naruto screamed as the dark flames continued to consume him. "I've stopped, dropped and rolled! Why won't it stop burning? Why did you lie to me, educational cartoons? WHYYYY?"

"No!" Hinata suddenly burst from the nearby foliage, her ecchi-stalker senses having been active all day. "This wasn't the kind of flaming Naruto I wanted!" She cried out.

"I'm not gay for Sasuke!" Naruto shouted indignantly, still frantically rolling on the ground.

"What?" Hinata said in disbelief. "Noooo~!"

And with that the lavender haired girl vanished back into underbrush, where she was forgotten by plot completely.

"Well that was weird." Sasuke remarked.

"I'm on fire, you jackass! Help me!"

"Naw, I was gonna try and kill you anyway at the Valley of the End before you kick my ass and drag me back. And I don't like people who kick my ass."

"Traitor!"

"Yup."

"What about me?" Sakura demanded with a huff. "I was going to get the shaft completely, only providing comedic relief for you!"

"You only hit me, you heartless bi- err, girl!" Naruto was miraculously not dead yet, despite his body long since becoming a blazing inferno of impossible fire.

"Only because you're such a pervert!" The pink-haired girl roared, and finally put the boy out of his misery with a FARUKEN PAWNCH of anti-pervertedness.

"Well, that was anticlimactic." Kakashi muttered. And then he perked up. "Hey, how about we go get some Dango, guys?"

"Tobi is still here, you know!"

"Bah, nobody cares. The titular character for the series is dead."

"b, b, but I'm the big-bad!" He protested. "I've totally been in the background the whole time!"

"So had Orochimaru, but I killed him off with a swiftness when a poll revealed people didn't like his character." Sasuke retorted.

"Tobi does not like you comparing him to a dirty pedophile!" The masked man said, and again the black flames appeared, this time on Sasuke. "Because Tobi is a good boy!"

"Ahh!" The raven-haired boy exclaimed, flailin his arms wildly. And then a moment later he realized it didn't hurt. "Huh. That's weird. Actually, I kinda feel..."

Sakura drew in closer, wondering if perhaps the first emotion Sasuke felt would be intense love for her.

"I feel fabulous!" Sasuke cried out, and suddenly his walk was a peacock-ish strut while his dull clothes turned bright and floral. "Thank you, Tobi!"

"No problem, estranged descendant!" Tobi answered happily. "Go forth and kick ass! Or whatever you want to do with it."

"I will, forgotten forebear!"

And, before Sakra could complain at the injustice of what was transpiring, the moon suddenly turned into the Death-Star.

"That's no Death-Star! That's the Juubi! And the moon!" The man said, shedding his mask and revealing himself as Madara. "My dad totally made it!"

But it turns out that assumption was wrong, as a moment later the world was destroyed in a puff of old-timey special effects.

And nobody lived happily ever after.

The End

AN: Yes, I'm sorry to inform everyone the fic is out of limbo and has been cast down into the fires of hell. However, since I'd already gotten this far into the chapter, I thought it was a shame to waste it. Hence the batshit crazy ending to the story.

Why did I kill this story? Because I don't feel like wasting time on it any more. Nor do I feel like explaining, yet again, that this fic isn't a naru/hina. (Also, as a great big 'fuck you' to everyone who bitched at me for 'not warning' them about the 'pairing': Naruto was going to kill that spineless waste of space. Because paranoid people always react well to being stalked. If I wanted to put goddam romance in this fic I'd have slapped the 'romance' tab on it, so in the future keep that in mind when you moan at people. Thank you for tolerating this tirade, we will now continue my explanation of why I finally applied the axe.) And, lastly, I'm just not interested in the Naruto manga enough to want to write fanfiction for it. Most of the new chapters leave me with an open sneer, which has only served to further sap my desire to continue this fic.

Any complaints will be summarily ignored, unless I feel compelled to shout at you.

If, for whatever reason, someone feels they want to continue the fic in my place, then by all means do so. Give a msg, and I'll hand over my notes and outlines.