Hey guys, so… guess my last chapter wasn't that much of a cliffhanger, eh? Never mind. Sorry this chapter took so long. I didn't feel like writing for some reason… O_o My next chapter is most probably going to take even longer, since exams are coming up soon and after that it's the summer holidays! YAY!! So… I was actually thinking about letting Alec talk to Clary in this one, but decided against that. There's not much they can talk about, really. Thanks again for the reviews, everyone! They were all very encouraging. Okay, I'll get started now. Enjoy, and REVIEW! ^.^
She sighed and slipped down into her warm bed, waiting patiently for sleep to come. Finally, just as she was about to drift off, another knock on her bedroom door awakened her. She grumbled sleepily and kicked at her blankets. But just as she was about to shout "Go away, it's eleven o'clock midnight and I'm trying to get some decent sleep here!", the door opened, and a face popped in. Clary grunted, clearly annoyed. She didn't even bother looking up to see who it was. Who else would come without permission into her room at such an ungodly hour as eleven post meridian?
Clary rolled over to face the wall and squeezed her eyes shut, as she heard soft footsteps approaching her bed. They stopped, then after a few seconds, a hand reached down to touch her cheek lightly. Her skin tingled. She nearly shivered from his touch. But finally she turned around to face him, squinting her eyes to see him better through the annoying yet comforting darkness of her room.
"Why are you and Isabelle so intent on making me stay awake the whole night? Seriously, Jace Wayland, I need energy for tomorrow's moving and unpacking." She half grumbled, half shouted the words at the boy standing calmly beside her.
"Well, I'm not sure what Isabelle's intentions were, but mine is so that you will, hopefully, sleep late tomorrow and I'll get to see more of you." Clary looked up to see Jace smirking down at her. But his face softened as he continued. "So you really are leaving? I thought, I hoped, that you were just joking."
"Sorry to disappoint you, but I really am leaving. Mot probably for good. And anyways, Isabelle already has a shopping trip and dinner scheduled for tomorrow, so you'll be seeing me the whole day either way. I'm sorry I didn't give you guys an earlier notice of my leaving, because it was obvious you all would have tried to stop me. You and Isabelle, anyway."
Clary was focusing all her attention on making her words sound at least somewhat casual - her heart was tearing apart at the thought of leaving Jace behind - she didn't notice the blond boy leaning in toward her until his soft lips brushed against hers gently. She gave a small gasp, trying to deepen the kiss, but Jace pulled away fast.
"Do you really want to leave me, Clarissa Fray?" He murmured, his golden eyes smoldering inches from her own. His lips hovered centimeters from her face, tempting her toward him. She did not, could not, move.
Finally, she managed to whisper, "No, but I-"
"Then why are going? I thought you loved me, Clary. I thought you loved me as much as I love you. And I would never, could never, leave you even if I wanted to. You are my life, Clarissa Fray. I need you. And the only way to leave you is to kill myself. All this time I thought that was the way you felt toward me. But no, I was wrong. You never loved me this deeply, did you? You only saw me as a toy for you to play with, a boy to experiment and flirt with. How can you do this to me Clary? Why me?"
Jace's voice started out tender, caring, but increased in pitch as he neared the end, becoming fiercer, filling with emotion. Clary could only stare at him, her mouth hanging open in surprise as he straightened and looked into her eyes, his own as cold and hard as steel.
"No! how could you think this Jace? I do love you! It's just… it's not you, Jace, can't you see? It's the rest of them, this whole shadowhunter, vampire, demon slaying life I'm trying to get rid of." Clary swept one hand around the room to indicate what she was trying to say. "I want to be a normal girl again. I never intended to leave you. You've never had a chance to live like any other typical teenage boy. But I've experienced an ordinary life before. In fact, I would still be in one if not for Valentine and such. And you know what? That other life is wonderful. It's amazing, superb. There are no demons to kill, no difficult physical training to do, no vampires and faeries to worry about like this one does. It's such a free life, Jace. But you'll never understand it. You'll never understand me. Never."
She trailed off in barely a whisper, her head bent low, staring down at her hands which were now clenched together as if in prayer. Clary didn't look up to watch as Jace walked out of her room as slowly as he had entered. She could hear both their hearts breaking into two, trying desperately to form a whole again. Unsuccessfully.
She sighed, a lone tear falling in a jagged line down her face. She did not get a wink of sleep that night.
The end was rather bad, sorry about that. This is only my second time writing romance. But I hope you guys liked it! I'll try to write longer chapters next time, since these are really short and annoying. Should I end it here or add more chapters? Please review and help me out, or PM me. Thanks!!!
-- Seyra