Chapter 7- It's Always About Want

I logged on to the computer, I sighed with relief; Josie wasn't on Facebook at the moment so I had nothing to worry about. Corynn looked at me with concern, she didn't know what was going on with me but she definitely didn't like the lack of conversation.

"So were you on a date with Sammy?" Corynn asked. She already knew the answer to the question, but that didn't stop her from trying to create conversation.

"Nope." I said dully.

She looked down, she was just trying to create conversation, and I wasn't being much help. All in all, I was pretty much depressed about being doomed. I shouldn't have been interested in Zack for a few reasons. One: He was a murderer. And Two : He was twelve years older than me, and not to mention socially stuttered.

I had two options, so far as I could see. I could pretend that I didn't have feelings for Zack and settle for Sammy. I loved Sammy, so it wasn't exactly settling, but that wouldn't change anything. I was still doomed to love Zack Addy, and I didn't want to be. I didn't want to fall for him, but there was nothing I could do about it.

***

The next day Lance picked me up to bring me to the Jeffersonian. He frowned at me once we got in the car, "So, why did you hang up on me yesterday?"

"I was with Sammy," I answered truthfully. "It had been a while since we hung out and I wanted to catch up, sorry."

"It's okay," he said, "It's nice to see that you're talking and being social again. I guess that sleepover with Angela really helped huh?"

I nodded, "Sort of. It was nice to get out of the house. Has she told you anything about our little sleepover?"

He shook his head, "Nope, but I haven't asked, to be completely honest, I'm a little afraid to know where all of these feelings are coming from."

I snorted, "You're a psychologist. Isn't that kind of your job?"

"Well," Lance smirked, "It's different when it's family."

I smiled, "So am I going to meet some more of your patients today?"

"Not any that you haven't already met. I only bring you in on Jeffersonian days and some institution days. I figure you'd enjoy that more." Lance explained.

He was half right. I didn't want to be a psychologist and on top of that, I hated going to the institution because there was always a chance of seeing Zachary Addy. The thought made me shudder.

Lance noticed this, "Is something wrong?"

I shook my head, "No, I'm just a little cold."

He nods, and I feel like I am going to scream if he insists on bringing me back to the McKinley Psychiatric Hospital. I couldn't be there . . . not ever.

We got to Lance's office and Angela was already there.

"Angela," said Lance shocked, "I wasn't expecting to see you here. You don't have an appointment."

Angela made a face, "Since when do I ever make an appointment?"

Lance gave her a disapproving look, "How can I help you?"

"By letting me take your sister around." Angela said, "I just want to have some . . . girl talk. I bet she'll find it way more interesting than just watching you do paper work."

Lance sighed, "Fine. But be careful."

By the time that Lance was telling us to be careful Angela and I were well out the door. "So how are you feeling sweetie?" Angela asked me.

I shrugged, "Upset I guess. I meant what I said Angela, I love him, but I really don't want to."

"I know," Angela said, "I believe you, which is why I haven't told your brother, but listen to me, you cannot just tell anyone about this especially Booth and Brennan."

I nodded, "I don't plan on telling anyone. It was difficult for me to even tell you and I don't want to have anything to do with him . . . but I'm just-"

"Doomed." Angela finished for me, "I remember our little conversation about that."

I looked down at the floor, "I'm just too much trouble. Lance tries to be a good brother and show me around his work place but then I go and screw it up."

"Hey," Angela said, "Don't think like that, for all you know this is going to just blow over, and maybe one day you'll be able to laugh at this."

"I honestly doubt that Angela," I say truthfully.

"Well," Angela sighed, "You never know." But Angela was wrong, I did know. I knew that I was doomed. Everyone who's married will tell you, that you know who "the one" is very early on in the relationship. That was what had happened to me. I wasn't about to tell Angela that.

"Thanks for saving me from Lance," I change the subject.

"You're welcome, sweetie." Angela smiled at me.

"Can I ask you something?" I said cautiously.

Angela nodded, "Of course you can."

"Is it possible to love two people at once?" I was thinking about Sammy again.

Angela smiled and nodded, "Of course, but the important thing is knowing which one of the two you love more."

"Thanks," I answered knowing the answer from the start, but I was kind of hoping she would tell me to listen to my brain and not my heart. If I listened to my brain then I'd be with Sammy, and I wouldn't have these problems. But no one ever listens to their brain. It's always about what you want, whether it's rational or not.

AN: Let me have it, I know I haven't updated in forever and I'm sorry. I'll try to post more often.