"Welcome aboard, Admiral." Kirk smiled weakly as Admiral Pike wheeled himself off the transporter pad. Trailing behind the Admiral was 'Cool' Spock, known as Ambassador Midas.

"Captain Kirk." Pike gave him an intense look. "I trust things have calmed down since our last talk?"

Kirk opened his mouth to answer then hesitated. In between the Time Warp and now, Sulu had run off to find more pirates to fight, Uhura had changed into a toga, and Spock started muttering "Kill them all, kill them all". "Actually Sir, things are getting worse."

Pike nodded. "Well, making them better should be an interesting exercise."

Skippy Skippy

"I'm beginning to think," Lt. Meg O'Malley mused as she tossed the vial of antidote in the air and caught it neatly in her palm. "that people don't like me." She was talking to Dr. McCoy and Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott. They were alone in Engineering, chatting aimlessly and listen to the gentle hum of the ship's engines.

"Why would you think that? Could it be because the mere sight of you sent the entire Engineering crew running for their mommies?" Bones sniped. He was mad because he had been deprived on seeing the Engineering Department perform a traditional Highland Dance. The fact that Scotty was wearing a kilt did not make him feel better.

"I like you." Scotty said. "Well, no' really. I just tolerate you because you know raunchy drinkin' songs and you bash the English with me." Being uninhibited means you don't have to worry about being polite to your drinking buddy.

Before the other two could respond, the doors swooshed open and in marched Kirk, followed by Pike and both Spocks. The three slackers exchanged various greetings.

"Hi Jim." Bones waved cheerfully.

"Hey, you look familiar." O'Malley eyed Pike. "Do I know you?"

"How's it goin'?" Scotty gave them all a smile. "Welcome to the heart of Sandwich."

"Sandwich?" Spock (the one Kirk thought of as 'uncool') said. "Would that be your new nickname for the ship?"

"Aye."

"Fascinating." It wasn't, but Spock the Younger was learning that being uninhibited means you could lie. Logic be damned, lacking inhibitions was fun.

"Bones, O'Malley, have you exposed the antidote to the ship's ventilating system?" Kirk asked, eager to get his ship back to normal.

"Yeah, we…oh. No, no we didn't." O'Malley held up the vial. "We came down here to do that and we just got to talkin' and then you came and I still say he looks familiar…" She shrugged. "We just didn't feel like it."

Without saying a word the Captain of the Enterprise snatched the vial from her hand. "Scotty, which air duct is the quickest way to the incinerator?"

"That one."

"Thanks." He pried open the vent and tossed the vial down. It clanged and banged its way down to the incinerator where the container was melted and the antidote met the flames. The fumes traveled through the vents and eventually filtered out into the Enterprise. There, they were inhaled by the crew members and the healing process began.

Skippy Skippy

The total came to fourteen broken bones, twenty ruined relationships, any number of random hook-ups, a few pieces of broken equipment, and a lot of videos on the Internet. The one of Spock, Uhura and Sulu doing the Time Warp went viral. Someone (probably Lt. O'Malley) had hacked into Admiral Pike's computer and found the memory logs of his transmission when that scene had taken place and uploaded it and e-mailed it to everybody on the Enterprise.

The high resolution video of Kirk and Sulu making out was almost as popular.

Kirk groaned and slapped his hands over his face. "This is a disaster." He didn't see the upward twitch of Pike's mouth. They were in the Captain's quarters, mulling over the report and what it meant for the crew of the Enterprise.

"It was a disaster. Past tense. And it could have been worse." The older man said soothingly.

"How?"

The Admiral was silent for a moment. He brow creased and he tapped his finger against his chin, obviously trying to think of an answer. "You could have been attacked by Klingons. They have a tendency to make any situation worse. For a true disaster of epic proportions just add Klingons!" He announced that last sentence in a comically theatrical voice.

Kirk lowered his hands and slowly turned his head. "You're trying to cheer me up."

"I always knew you were smart. Did it work?"

"Maybe. I tried the same thing on an ensign not too long ago. I told him about the town's only stoplight and a little bit about my high school graduation party."

"What happened at your high school graduation party?"

"I'd tell you, but you'd probably have to ask for my resignation from Starfleet. My point is, that Ensign is seventeen and got drunk. I'm twenty-five and the Captain of the ship. My ship was in chaos and I couldn't keep my crew safe."

"Twenty-five." Pike deadpanned. "Absolutely ancient. Jim, I heard from Spock that when this whole mess started unfolding you were with a crew member in her quarters."

Kirk closed his eyes in embarrassment. "Yeah. When my ship was spiraling out of control I was trying to get to second base with a member of my crew."

"And when Spock told you the ship needed its Captain, you were ready to run off and solve the problem right then and there. I've known you for years. I know how you appreciate beautiful women. And, with a lack of inhibitions and of your own free will you left to lead your ship." Pike reached over and lightly bopped Kirk upside the head. "Your first instinct was to save the Enterprise!"

"But…"

"No buts. You did well."

Skippy Skippy

Old Spock and Regular Spock were in his quarters, enjoying a meal of traditional Vulcan cuisine. "But I am curious, you muttered 'Kill the illogical' several times before the antidote began to work." Old Spock arched an eyebrow. "I didn't know I harbored subconscious xenophobic tendencies."

"I don't." His younger self said. "I was suffering from the affects of a mind altering drug."

"That removes inhibitions. In my uninhibited state I thought about killing the illogical." The elder arched an eyebrow. "Thankfully, I only thought about it. But do you find humans that irritating?"

"Sometimes." A pause. "Frequently." Another pause. "Most of the time. They frustrate me and frustration leads to anger. This is simply an example of why it necessary to eliminate emotions. I will schedule in an extra hour every day to meditate."

"I see." Old Spock nodded and they continued with their meal. After a few spoonfuls of soup, Young Spock looked up.

"I am also curious. Why did you choose the name Midas?"

"I did not think it wise to alert the public to my existence and use of time travel. It might cause unnecessary complications."

"But why Midas?"

He looked at himself for a long time before answering. "In human mythology, Midas was a king who gained everything he ever wanted but in doing so lost that which was most important to him and had true value. I found the moral…relevant."

Skippy Skippy

Perhaps the only person happy with the videos of them on the Internet was Scotty. He commented favorably on the video of him doing a jig and offered to teach anybody who was interested how to Highland Dance.

Skippy Skippy

"Who is playing that music? This is Sickbay, not a concert hall! For the last time I am not going to burst into song! Now turn that off or I'll have you reassigned to peeling potatoes!" Bones was considerably less happy with his videos, although many comments referred to his lovely singing voice.

Skippy Skippy

When Ambassador Midas and Admiral Pike left the Enterprise, Nyota snuck into her lover's quarters one night. He was meditating and she was about to leave without disturbing him when he called out to her.

"I wasn't sure you would want me here." She ducked her head, an action he found adorable and wonderful. "Everyone knows about us and I know you wanted to be discreet."

"I have been thinking about that. Discretion does not mean we have to hide our relationship. Lights on." He blew out the candles and turned to face her. "And there is no logic in pretending we are not together. In fact doing so might lead others to wrong conclusions."

She sat on the bed and reached over to kiss him. "You're wonderful."

He smiled and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. He passionately kissed her back. "You are truly valuable to me."

Skippy Skippy

Kirk and Sulu were in the turbolift together. Alone. It was a supremely awkward moment.

Eventually Sulu chewed up and spat out all the embarrassment and cleared his throat. "Um…Captain?"

"Yes, Mr. Sulu?" Kirk forced his voice to remain steady.

"I'm sorry. I would never normally…I mean, never…. I'm sorry."

"We all did things we would never normally do." Kirk shrugged. "It's not the end of the world and we're fine. There's no need to apologize."

The turbolift stopped and the doors opened to admit Lt. Sporky. His three eyes traveled from Kirk to Sulu and there was a brief face off.

Kirk sighed. "Save it for the Halloween party, Gentlemen. I see any pirates or ninjas running around and I'll sic Spock on you." The turbolift halted and he got off, leaving them alone.

Sporky looked at Sulu. "We went viral."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. People want to know if there's going to be a sequel to the video."

Sulu inhaled. "Well, we'd have to wait for the Halloween Party per the Captain's orders but…" He trailed off and they both grinned.

Skippy Skippy

Kirk turned the corner to Ensign Ramirez's quarters only to find that Spock had beaten him there. He quickly ducked back and listened to his second-in-command handle the situation.

Chekov had spent the better part of the last twenty-four hours camped outside Bonita 'Bon Bon' Ramirez's living quarters. He had equipped himself with chocolate and wine but these were useless. She refused to let him in and he sat there moping until Spock came by.

"The Captain ordered you not to drink anymore."

Distracted from his teenage angst, he turned to talk to the half-Vulcan. "Da. But it's non-alcoholic. See?" He showed him the label, which proclaimed that the wine was indeed closer to fruit juice.

From his hiding place behind the corner Kirk shook his head. Non-alcoholic wine? That was just sad.

"I see. Ensign, you are aware that stalking is a form of harassment? If you insist on continuing this behavior I will order you to participate in socialization classes."

"I'm not stalking!" He protested. "I just vant to know why she said she vanted to go out vith me if she is a lesbian."

Spock arched an eyebrow. "I've noticed that humans frequently wish to hide things they are not comfortable with. It is likely she either didn't realize her orientation or didn't wish to acknowledge it. Being uninhibited forced her to confront what she really wanted."

"Maybe." Chekov held up the box of chocolates and Spock accepted one. "Commander Spock?"

"Yes?"

"I deleted the pictures I took of Lt. Uhura on my communicator." A bright red blush accompanied the confession.

"That is appropriate."

"I'm sorry I took them. I'm sorry I got mad at you for Bon Bon dumping me. It vasn't fair."

Kirk waited with baited breath until Spock echoed his earlier words. "You were under the affects of a mind altering drug. No apology is required."

"But…"

"My only orders for right now are you return to your own quarters and get some sleep. After your shift, find crew members in your age group and socialize with them." Spock said. "If you don't then I'll make you spend an extra shift a day with me for another two weeks." Of all the punishments he could have threatened this had the most effect. Chekov quickly packed up his feeble romantic offerings, promised to follow Spock's orders to the letter and ran off.

He returned a second later and wrapped his arms around the senior officer. The hug only lasted a moment before the teenager ran off again but it left Spock stunned.

Trying very hard not to laugh, Kirk rounded the corner and came up beside his science officer. "That was disgustingly cute." He couldn't hold back a grin.

"It was unprofessional."

"Maybe. But admit it, you have a warm, fuzzy feeling in your stomach now, right?"

"I assure you, Captain, I have no such emotion. If I feel anything warm and fuzzy in my stomach I will visit Sickbay." Spock looked at Kirk with his eyebrow in its trademarked position. "Tell me, was that how you would have handled the situation?"

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome we are."

Fin.

Author's notes: I saw Terminator Salvation. Prequel? Sequel? Sprequel? I dunno. Anton Yelchin was in it and he continued his career of being ridiculously adorable. The movie itself was meh. Anybody remember when Christian Bale used to work for Disney? I laugh every time I think of that.

The offer still stands of somebody making a sims version of the Enterprise crew doing the Time Warp. Unconditional love, people. I probably won't be the only one either. You upload that to youtube and you might go viral.

The offer of using Lt. O'Malley is also still good. Feel free so long as she gets no redeeming virtues or promotions and I get credit.

I have wonderful, awesome reviewers. Each and every one of you is a special person who lights up my day. I'm unemployed now so my days need all the brightening up they can get. Thank you, without your support this fic would not have happened.

While I'm on the subject of employment, I had an interview last week. Here's hoping.

I've got a couple of other fics in mind for this fandom. I'm gonna try and learn from this fic and follow KK's advice. The next fics should flow together a bit more. This one jumped a bit (I win the 'Understatement of the Year' award now).

But, I'm glad ya'll enjoyed reading. It was fun to write and I will see you guys around. Thank you all for your support and have a good Memorial Day!