title: the perfect plan
author: ohwhatsherface
for: the blanket – lol, happy mother's day!
disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
note: semi-AU I guess. THIS IS SO FLUFF-FILLED. Seriously.

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A loud, blood-curling scream could be heard from all across Konoha. It was this scream of utter fear and anguish that broke Sasuke from his slumber and forced him to fall out of bed. His eyes were wide and frantic as he searched around, confused, until slowly, he came to the conclusion that Sakura was simply having a Crisis.

What now – a split end? Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Annoying woman…

He simply fell back onto his bed, knowing that she would come barging in through his window any minute now to complain about whatever her issue of the moment was, and as her boyfriend, by principle he would be forced to console her (or at least pretend he cared). She would most likely be hysterical and he would have to calm her down so Sasuke knew he needed as much rest as he could take.

Three.

Two.

One.

And as expected, Sakura Haruno appeared at the front of the bed, having come in through the window rather than the door (he wondered if that was simply a ninja habit or something she picked up from Kakashi). She held a crumpled piece of paper in her hand and wasted no time to greet him in favour of pacing back and fourth on the hardwood floors.

"Ah, please come in," Sasuke sarcastically drawled under his breath, eyeing her warily.

Sakura most definitely did not look like she was emotionally stable. Her eyes were wide open and darting about, her body was positively stiff, and her hands were sporadically clenching and unclenching with every step she took. He considered the idea of reaching out to her, but Self Preservation told him she might kill him if he touched her.

"Is something wrong?" he settled on, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"Yes, something is wrong!" Sakura screamed shrilly, her voice cracking. Sasuke almost flinched when her fist came toward his face, but no impact came. Instead, she held the sheet of paper that she was gripping so tightly right before him. "Look! Read it. READ IT."

Wisely, Sasuke complied and gently took the letter from her.

Sakura-chan,

Hinata-chan and I have decided to elope.
Well okay, I decided and she sighed and was all 'fine, fine' and so yeah.
Anyway, uh, please don't kill me? You can be our kid's godmother!
We'll be back in… I don't know. Whatever, bye!

-Naruto

P.S. Hinata-chan says she's really, really sorry.

Sasuke blinked a few times, processing what he just read.

For the past month, since Naruto told Sakura that he proposed to Hinata, Sakura had been elated. When she found that neither of the two knew what to do or were really that into planning the wedding, Sakura had taken it upon herself to work on all the details (she was Naruto's best friend!).

Sakura had taken their choice of "as soon as possible" and worked her magic, ordering the flowers, outfits, food, and everything else that may have been required – all to be ready for May 10, only a month and a half or so since Naruto's proposal to the Hyuuga girl.

Apparently they wanted the marriage as soon as possible that way no Hyuuga could interfere.

During her preparation however, Sakura had become something of a Bridezilla and made her office at the hospital the headquarters of the wedding planning. There were clippings on the walls and too many flowers on the window sill.

On random days she would force whoever she was treating at the time to do taste samples for the foods that would be at the wedding, according to a victimized Shikamaru; all Naruto really wanted was ramen, and all Hinata really wanted was for Naruto to be happy.

Sasuke put the note from Naruto on the nightstand and looked over to Sakura, who was still pacing back and forth, speedily grumbling out unintelligible utterances.

It was time for some damage control.

"Sakura," he called out slowly. "Oi, Sakura!" She stopped mid step and turned on her heel to face him.

"What Sasuke?!" Sakura yelled when he failed to continue on past her name. She resumed her pacing and her arms flailed madly. "In case you cannot tell, there is a major crisis taking place right now! I do not have time to deal with your typical, angst-ridden self!"

Insulted, Sasuke glared at her but did not voice his annoyance. "Look… it'll… be okay."

She immediately stopped and stomped to where he sat to grab him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him up.

Aw crap.

"OKAY?!" Sakura screamed. "OKAY?! HOW CAN THINGS BE OKAY?"

I will kill that moron for doing this, Sasuke grumbled to himself.

"A WEDDING IS NOT A WEDDING WITHOUT THE BRIDE AND GROOM. AND SASUKE, BOTH OF THEM SEEM TO BE MISSING SO NO. NO. NO, IT WIL NOT BE OKAY."

As Sakura caught her breath, Sasuke unlatched her fingers from his shirt and raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you done?"

"…yes."

Gently, he tugged her down to sit beside him on the bed, and unsurprisingly, Sakura leaned against his shoulder to begin her tirade.

"But I just have no idea what I'm going to do, Sasuke!" she said, sounding rather distraught. "I mean, all these people have been invited to a wedding that what, will not be happening? How am I going to tell everyone that nobody will be getting married here because the bride and groom eloped?" Sakura groaned, bringing her hands to her face. "The Hyuuga elders are going to have a field day, Sasuke!" She shook her head miserably. "This is a disaster! And what am I going to tell Ino – to just let all those flowers wilt? And the catering company! Ugh!"

With a huff, Sakura leaned back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling in silence.

"Ugh, I am so mad!" she muttered. "I planned the wedding and now it is just going to go to waste and this is just unbelievable—"

"Marry me."

"—and what?!" She shot up from the bed and her face came closer to his as she looked him in the eye, confused. "I'm sorry. I do believe I just heard you ask me to marry you."

"You did. Marry me," he repeated seriously.

"Sa—"

He swallowed but refused to let her know that her silence and obvious shock was rather nerve-racking for him. "You didn't plan the perfect wedding, Sakura," he interrupted, "you planned your perfect wedding."

Embarrassed and almost a little ashamed, Sakura looked down as her cheeks reddened. "T—that is so not true!" At his look of disbelief, she scowled. "Okay fine. Maybe just a little…"

"Then marry me," Sasuke requested once more, his black eyes smouldering.

Sakura's lips fell into a thin line. "I don't want to marry you because we don't want flowers and food and people's time to go to waste, Sasuke."

"Then don't." He rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. His cheeks, usually pale, were now pink; clearly having to repeat his proposal multiple times was taking its toll on him. "Marry me because you don't want your perfect wedding to go to waste."

Her scowl deepened and somewhat scandalized, Sakura slapped his upper arm. "I'm not marrying you so things don't get wasted—"

"Do it because you want to," Sasuke urged on, "because you and I…" he paused, his face scrunching up in distaste, "we yeah… each other."

"I…" Her face softened and she gave the idea some thought. "But it sort of feels wrong to be stealing Naruto's and Hinata's wedding!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "It was hardly their wedding to begin with. You planned everything."

"I did, huh," she murmured, looking forward, dazed. When it finally sunk in, she smiled and glanced at him. "So then," Sakura kissed him on the cheek, holding his hand tightly, "I guess we're getting married today."

He nodded and smirked as her grin grew wider by the second.

"Aa, we're getting married today."

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fin

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inspiration: merder giving their wedding to alexizzie