Disclaimer: I do not own Mai HiME/ Mai Otome neither it's characters!! They were owned by Sunrise! XD And also the Songs used below.
A/U: Oh!! Thank you in advance to those reviews in 'breaking the ice' it energizes me, believe it or not! =D (I'll acknowledge the reviewers in the other story)
By the way, since this idea runs into my mind for how many days, I need to type it before it goes away! XD. Geez, I should be completing first the other one. =3, other than that, this story will just be my treat for you, since it was my birthday yesterday!! Happy birthday to me! yay! Hehe! I hope you enjoy.
Chapter 1
'Reminiscing fantasies, processing dreams…'
"Shizuru-san! We'll give you a 30 minute break, then I'll give you the new piece you'll sing."
I nodded and strolled back to my room, atleast to sit, relax and enjoy the silence around me.
But then the thought of someone traveled to my mind, I wonder… when was the last time I saw her?
-Flashback-
Two figures were sitting under a big tree near the school gardens. It was already summer that time.
"Na-tsu-ki…" a woman's seductive voice from behind purred into the blunette's ears which made her blush madly
"Shi-Shizuru! Stop that!" she yelped as she tried to stand up, but stopped by the brunette's tight hug.
"Mou, Ikezu, I'm just trying to break Natsuki in her line of thoughts. Now she's going to leave me?"
"…." The blunette had no reply, but to alteast go back to her deep thoughts, she's thinking of something, something she wanted to do, yet, in other way.
'Natsuki's thinking of something…maybe I should let her go?' Shizuru thought, and she did what exactly her mind says. The brunette broke her hug from Natsuki, which made the blunette look at her softly.
"Since Natsuki was busy in her thoughts…I don't want to disturb her anymore" She smiled as she say the words to Natsuki, the smile which was only for her.
"Shizuru…" was the only thing that Natsuki could say. The brunette had the chance to stare at Natsuki for awhile; sure she didn't want to lose the chance from seeing her face, yet to confess for the second time.
"Natsuki…I love you" the brunette stated, not mentioning she had her pink tint on her cheeks.
"…" Natsuki in return, blushed, but shook it off at the same time, she turn around again, facing her back to Shizuru, and stared into nothing.
"Natsuki…" all she know was she was rejected again; all she thought is that Natsuki can't love her the way she wanted, the way she dreamt of. Natsuki stood up, that time the brunette never stopped her, she look down the to girl and smiled, but Shizuru didn't look at her, she didn't want to..
"I need to go, Shizuru, I have to do something else…Take care of yourself."
The brunette nodded as an answer, getting assured to her nod, Natsuki made her way to her Ducati, leaving the lonely Shizuru behind. Natsuki will do something else, something different, but in exchange, she needs to leave Shizuru not knowing her reason. This pains Natsuki to do.
Shizuru didn't know what will happen next, she returned to her home and locked herself into the room. She changed cloths silently, no radio or TVs open, after that she stared into the window and reminisced all what happened. A sudden burst of tears came, she wanted to believe this was just a nightmare, but she can't, It really hurts
"I guess fantasies were just really part of a child's tales…" she murmured to herself as she closed the windows and flopped back down to her bed "there will be no happy ever after for me.."
It was the last time when they saw each other, Natsuki left without knowing, and Shizuru tried to move on by singing, which gradually made her one of the best singers around japan. She tried to forget the blunette, but the more she tried to, the more it draws her love to go strong for Natsuki.
-end of flashback-
I love her, yet she didn't love me like I do, until now…
I stood up and shook my head to release the thoughts of Natsuki, for the mean time, my thoughts wandered about the new composer of my songs, Reito, my manager and at the same time close friend said her screen name was 'Dylan', her, it means girl.
He didn't bother to describe what does the composer look like, he said that the reason the composer had her screen name was to hide her appearance and personality, but he did saw her. I got curious about that so I asked.
"Will I see the composer too?"
He slowly shook his head to me but still smiling, "Im sorry Shizuru, but Dylan didn't want to go in here, she'll just send her compositions to us with the help of our messenger. But, she did love to hear your voice" he added.
"How did you saw her then?" I asked again, I wanted to protest, still, people have their own rules.
"She came to me at my office last time, you weren't around their actually"
I nodded, I missed the chance to interact with my composer, and her mysteriousness interests me.
The 30 minute break was finished and I was ordered to go inside the studio and study the piece...Listen and study that girl's composition.
I know I left her without telling anything,
I didn't talked to her and see her after that,
I didn't even give her phone calls just like I do in the past.
This pain should be endured for the mean time…being away with the one you love really hurts right? Especially when you know that she haven't noticed what you feel for her, because you're acting dumb.
I was planning to confess that time when she hugged me from the back, yet, confessing in the way she did is another thing I couldn't do. Look in to her beautiful eyes, or watch her honey colored hair sway along with the rushing wind then say 'I love you' too.
The only way I could find is 'music'…
Be a composer and compose songs dedicated for her, or in some ways the feeling she had been through while Im not with her. Im actually dreaming about her for myself, so selfish didn't I? I submitted my first composition to Reito, he's the only one who knows my identity, I told him not to tell anyone especially Shizuru.
In return, he won't pay for my compositions or whatsoever, just let Shizuru sing my songs, with her soft, calming voice. Well, my first composition was about her and me, I was thinking maybe she gave up on loving me, maybe she got too tired of waiting. Every time I watch her at the television, the 'Shizuru fan girl' named 'Tomoe' was with her, declaring they were so close to each other, yeah close to each other, she was actually holding Shizuru's hands…
It pains my chest like I was stabbed continuously directly at my heart…I should be the one holding her hands…right?
I closed the television because of annoyance, returned to my worksheet and decided to continue my compositions; I tuned up my guitar and started to bond with music.
A stunned expression covered my face as I read its lyrics, was this making fun of me? Reading every word, every sentence, makes my heart heavy, was this composer feels the way I'm feeling too? My thought was cut off by my producer.
"Okay Shizuru-san standby." He said as he prepare the music, I wear my headphones, and concentrated to the melody, this will be my 'life's song'.
The music played and I started to sing.
I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong
My heart pounded so fast as I state the first stanza, and it almost struck me so hard when I spoke the next stanza which was also the chorus of the song.
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
Tears were gathering at the side my eyes, but it didn't fall. I have to stop it.
There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope
Yes, maybe I should let go, but I won't feel better if I lose Natsuki. I finished the following stanzas, not bothering the tears falling to my face, the people outside the recording room. I closed my eyes and let the music go inside me.
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
No more waiting, No more aching
No more fighting, No more trying
Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
Love me..
Love me…Natsuki..
I have recorded the song, and it wasn't bad after all, I asked them to put it into my iPod which they did less than 10 minutes. Reito told me to go home and be early tomorrow, then and there, I bid my goodbye to my friends and got home. I changed clothing and played the song. That song…the composer… I wanted to know her. After a few minutes of thinking I drifted into sleep. Tomorrow will be another day, maybe a new song I'll love..
Reito said they already published the song, so I ran after to the radio and listened to it.
"Now we're down to our top 1, the song was sang by our one and only Shizuru!" his words does irritate me every time they say 'our one and only' geez, why don't they just play the damn song?!
The intro music had started and I froze to my place, listening to every word, every beat, every line. Her voice does make me calm, compared to crappy singers who doesn't know everything but to shout through their lungs.
I fell through her voice, am I hypnotized? I found my self staring at the radio, which I caused myself to blush. I love this feeling, I love her voice, I love her…
I felt myself longing for her, I wanted to tell im 'Dylan', I wanted to hug her, feel her warmth…It's so hard without a teasing Shizuru around. This isn't the right time, I'll tell my feelings, through music, I need her word…I need her to call my name once again.
As usual, going early in the morning just to stick in the studio and wait for others, I went to the bandy clock for an attendance.
Sometimes I think if Natsuki was listening to my songs, if she cared about my fan named Tomoe who was always sticking to me every time I had an autograph schedule outside the recording company, I had to endure the little girl with me, she might 'berserk' i mean have tantrums if I tried to avoid her.
I miss Natsuki…I miss calling her…Ikezu.
The door knocked three times before I opened it, oh, the messenger came, he handed me an envelope and told me that inside was my new song, I thanked him, and he bowed his head, but suddenly, before he turned away.
"W-wait!"
The messenger looked at me again, now with a confused look.
"Is Dylan the one who gave this to you?"
He scratched his neck and nodded. "Yes ma'am"
"What does she look like?" I quickly asked, hoping to get my desired answer.
"She told me she had eyes, nose, ears, and every thing you see in humankind."
I got a little annoyed, what an answer. I asked again, there I flashed my eyes a serious look, which made him a little frightened, considering his face had looked odd.
"Ma'am, w-well, honestly, she told me not to tell her identity, gonna go now ma'am I still have something to do" with that, he gulped and went away quickly.
My chance again had failed, why can't that 'Dylan' tell her real identity to us? To me? I'm the one who sings her compositions, yet…she didn't acknowledge me.
Before I turn my day into a bad day, I remembered the envelope the messenger gave before he left. Since it was my new song, I opened it. Again, this composer gave me another surprise, I don't know if it's mocking me or not, but before I saw the lyrics, a small letter was placed inside.
To: Shizuru Fujino
Thank you…I hope you're always fine…I love…your voice
I said she should atleast acknowledged me, and then after a few seconds, she did just acknowledge me… reading the letter made me atleast feel good, I put down the letter and decided to take a look for the lyrics again.
hear the ticking of the clock
I'm lying here the room's pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it won't end though
Alone
Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
You don't know how long I have wanted
to touch your lips and hold you tight,oh
You don't know how long I have waited
and I was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
and my love for you is still unknown
Alone
Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone
How do I get you alone
I got speechless; I don't know what to react. Is the composer referring to someone dearest to her? Is Dylan inlove with someone? I got into her words, and it felt like she was talking to me…The person whom she was referring to was so…lucky to have 'Dylan'.
The crew had started to gather and got ready for the recording, I put headphones again, and let the music bind with me… I sang through my heart, made my voice a little higher, just like my producers say, emphasize…
I was busy eating when again, the bastard DJ of the radio speaks of Shizuru; her song came into the top for the second time, my composition. I felt happy, happy to know that atleast my compositions were really loved, as well as Shizuru.
But what shocks me most is when I have listened to the DJ's interview with Shizuru.
"Uhm, Shizuru-san, it seems your new songs were incredibly the listener's favorite!! Can you tell us what did you in order to get into top?"
"Ara, actually, I didn't do anything but to sing. Well, maybe because of my composer…Dylan-chan I hope you were listening"
"Oh. Dylan? Weird name, well! Shizuru-san! Do you have any message for that Dylan?"
"Yes, I do have a message. Please Dylan, I wanted to meet you…I want to…"
"Ohohoho, just like what Shizuru-san says, Dylan-chan wherever you are, Shizuru-san wants to meet you! oh well, how about your fans or any other people you wanted to mention?"
"Uhm, I wanted to thank all of you, for supporting my newly released songs, to the fan club named 'Shizuru Addictus', I have received your chocolates, Thank you very much… and…to Kuga…"
"Kuga? Please do continue."
"Kuga Natsuki…I miss you very much, I hope you're listening, I hope you're fine, take care of yourself."
"Whew, Shizuru-san, could you tell us about this 'Kuga Natsuki?"
Hearing Shizuru's message for me made my body melt, I couldn't help to blush, I know all the listener doesn't know who am I! yet…She's just…just so sweet. I couldn't stop listening to her.
"Ara, ara, DJ-san it's too personal to talk about, and if only she's here, you'll see her blush mad. So kawaii~"
"Oh, I see Shizuru-san, I wont invade your personal matters! And Arigato!! Surely all you fans will be supporting you along the way! Especially me! haha!"
"Ookini, DJ-san."
"You're welcome Shizuru-san! Arigato! So, my fellow listeners! This is your one and only DJ who loves you all in my dreams! Signing out!"
There it ended.
Making me blush furiously, pouting as if you'll see.
I miss you badly Shizuru, well, I'm just too dumb of an ass, I'm still enduring it.
I turned off the radio and proceeded to my work; I picked up my guitar, and played my on going composition. I'll be there soon, don't worry, Shizuru…
Do you like it? Or should I erase it?
The 2 songs used in this chap:
What can I do? – the Corrs
Alone – Celine Dion
Please review! =3
yay! it's killing time. XD