Version 3.0

brotip#317- Now that this is getting a little long, it's advised that to quickly find what you need, press ctrl+f in which you will get a search box. The search box take capitalization in consideration as well, which is kind of a pain, but whatever.

Section Division covered: The definition of Fanfiction, fanfiction terminology, writing good reviews and writing good stories that people will read, ratings, a long-ass Question and Answer section,Comments/Debates, Getting In The Mood/Motivation, "How Do I Write A Sexy Scene?" (NEW!) Mary Sues/Gary Stus

What's different from Version 2.0? 4 new questions in the Q&A, Part X: Mary Sues/Gary Stus

What qualifies me to write this?: I've done my research, and have five years of experience under my belt. I'm not perfect, just pretty close :D

Begin. . .

Define: Fanfiction

Enter

A profit-free hobby of writing original stories with characters with other popular stories; unlimited possibilities of the stories that you thought you knew; a place to meet amazing people; a breeding place for the imagination

Question: Pros?

Enter

Promotion of story fandom (Example: The show Firefly was canceled, but fans grouped and grew with fanfiction – a movie was made to tie loose ends to the series – Serenity); a way to express love for a story and gather with other fans; pure entertainment

Question: Cons?

Enter

No money made for hard work… (unless you live in Japan, but you have to be able to draw – for doujinshis – fan comics)

PART II: Words NOT In The Dictionary

(Fanfiction Terminology)

WIP: "Work in Progress"; when a story is being updated on a regular basis and being focused on more than others.

AU: "Alternate Universe"; the story takes place in a different setting, or with a major character difference (Examples: Setting stories in other story plots, making a character a different race (human to demon or angel) or changing the age – changing character relationships, such as the enemy is suddenly a twin brother to the hero…)

PWP: Debatably "Porn without plot" or "plot without plot"; in either case, you are about to read a story without point, either to turn you on, or tell a short story – also can be a "drabble" (Check the rating to be sure)

One-shot: A story that is concluded in one chapter alone, usually 1000 words or more to be considered more than a drabble

Crossovers: The fanfiction contains characters from different stories, not limited to just one other

Vignette (commonly known as "drabble"): A short fanfiction, containing a small idea, shorter than a one-shot, usually about 500 words

A/N: Debatably "Author's Note" or "Added Note"; It will usually contain additional information to the story such as where the idea came from, apologies for a long hiatus, etc.

Hiatus: (Actually in the dictionary!) When a story is on hiatus, it's not being worked on in the moment and may not be updated awhile, but the good news is that it hasn't exactly been dropped.

Songfic: A fanfiction that is based on a song, revolving a story directly from the lyrics, or describing a circumstance or even matching a character's personality; not illegal yet

OOC: "Out of Character"; if your story has a review mentioning it being OOC, you have dramatically changed the personality of the character to where he/she doesn't resemble who they are; this is bad

IC: "In Character"; Your characterization skills are on top if you've managed to get this review however! See commentary in the last section on this subject.

Flames: In the fanfiction world, a "flame" is a review that contains absolutely no love, a very critical review that has nothing to back up the statement, such as "This fanfiction sucks. You should quit. Gay is EWW!" and a "flamer", by the way, is someone that takes their time to criticize other people's hard work to gain a sort of thrill of it. (Not happy people); Please note that you cannot accuse someone of sending a flame if they're pointing out mistakes (Example: "The characters are a little OOC, you should try…") and never, ever, take flames personally; most authors joke that they will use flames to roast marshmallows…:D

Yaoi: A Japanese term used among fans of Japanese cartoons (anime) to describe an anime (or in this case, fanfiction) that contains extremely erotic scenes between two males (sometimes more); trés sexy; origins of a Japanese acronym translating as "No climax, no point, no meaning" (go figure…)

Yuri: A Japanese term used among fans of Japanese cartoons (anime) to describe an anime (or in this case, fanfiction) that contains extremely erotic scenes two females (sometimes more); trés super sexy

Shota: Another Japanese term, it means that an older character is partaking in sexual situations with someone younger – usually this term refers to a younger boy with an older man; a pedophile, in other words

Lolita: Another coined Japanese term, but it comes from a novel called "Lolita", in which an older man has inappropriate thoughts about a younger girl, which was a Russian novel. Or German. The term means that an older character is partaking in sexual situation with a younger girl; Someone with a "Lolita complex" has an unhealthy obsession with younger girls (also lolicon); On a completely unrelated note, someone wearing "Lolita" clothing is wearing something frilly, usually black and white, and very adorable.

Lemons: Another term with two males getting hot and heavy together; also has a Japanese root – but more of a reference to a certain erotic video…In fanfiction, it's probably become a term for any sexual content seen, under the citrus rating.

Limes: Digi-Girl101 tells me that limes, following the citrus rating, would mean that the story has implied sexual content. I've seen the term, and I believe her. Thank her for her contribution!

Oranges: Digi-Girl101 had also told me that if you see "orange" when the citrus rating is incorporated, it means that the story doesn't have sexual content at all. Which means there's PLOT! (GASP!)

Slash: ANOTHER term for two males getting sexy, but usually amongst the non-Japanese cultured, this is best term to use because it's more widely known than "yaoi"

Fem-Slash: The female side of "slash" – two women, er, enjoying one another's company… a lot

Mary-Sues/Gary Stus: Flawless self-inserted characters, see Part X

PART III – Writing Good Reviews

(In case you've ever wondered what authors really like to hear)

As a 50% fanfic writer and 49% reader (don't ask about the last 1%...) I can confidently say that whenever I open a new review to the story, I sigh whenever I see a mere two lines demanding more of the story. It's, of course, such a nice thing to hear, but that's not what really helps a writer.

Above all, a writer wants to know what your response to a chapter/fic is! A writer would rather have a long paragraph of constructive criticism than two lines that say "Write more" or "Good fic". What a writer needs to hear is "This story really hooks me in with the line…" or "I'm not sure what's going on in the part where…" Please be specific! And if you see a mistake, please tell us! (But do so kindly!)

The one thing that is intolerable in any review is bitching about the outcome. An outcome is the author's choice, and a reader may express opinion of how they feel – but please don't take it too far. It's… very irritating…

REMEMBER: Writing good reviews helps the writer mature and then write better stories. It's also a great source of fuel for a story to be continued and be updated sooner. (Or a sequel later!)

In my head, the perfect idea of a review would follow this outline:

Initial idea of the story, any comment at all: "This story is…" (dark, awesome, fascinating, odd…)

Point out a specific part that you liked, or a line that made you giggle, or struck you – this gives you bonus points!

Point out any problems that you saw

Give an overall rating, or a "This is my favorite story so far" or… whatever

If you have any ideas for the stories, go ahead and tell us – we'd love to hear it, but please don't be hurt if we already have a plan

PRAISE! (Fill the review with sweet praise if you have a lot of criticism, which will keep the author from being completely crushed; praise in general does wonders for authors… it's like… crack)

In all, a paragraph or two, would be quite god-like. And if you can correct your grammar, that is also amazing.

In the end, any review at all makes us happy, it seems xD Maybe I shouldn't have complained…

Part IV – Writing Good Stories

(General tips that I've gathered)

As a somewhat successful writer of fanfiction, I feel like I have a little bit of merit to what I say, so listen up! Here are some general (but Buddha-wise) tips on how to write good stories and get people to read them. (The Q&A Section expands on some issues in this field, too!)

One of the most important things for a fanfiction to have is a readable and edited format! This means to write in paragraphs and if you have trouble with spelling or grammar, PLEASE send it to a beta who will happily and quickly correct it for you! If you also have a problem with spelling a name specifically in the original story, don't butcher it – please find the correct way to spell it. RESEARCH! Again, a beta can do this for you! There's nothing that puts me off more than a dirty, lazy fanfiction! When I see a clean, easily readable one… I immediately like the fic. I mean… really like it.

But to really draw in someone to your story, you have to sell your story in the summary. Teasers work really well for summaries. (One of my favourites was Nilahxapiel's "Make Love, Not Cake" summary, which simply stated "Or both. At the same time." – oh, the mind reels! But… really… sex always sells) and humor always does it for me. If your story doesn't happen to have sex or a humoristic aspect, then usually a direct and powerful line from the story works very well. And sometimes the basis of your idea works. Writing summaries is a pretty little talent (which I, unfortunately, didn't possess – I had to work on it) A hint for summaries… include what your pairing is in the summary – this really draws people in who scan the summaries for their personal choice.

You getting this so far, dear reader? You must have a clean and neat story and a REALLY good summary. Not only that, I'd suggest being original with your ideas…

Another way to get someone to read your fanfictions is to connect with people in your fandom. If you ship a certain pairing (especially if it's odd!) read from that person, and let them know you're a fan in a review – they'll probably head on over and try your stuff out without you even asking! You could also offer a "Review and I'll read from you" deal – which is how I got started. There's something wonderful with connecting with your fandom – I've met such amazing people (Rissa-san! I LUFF YOU!)

(I find it a bit annoying when asked to read someone's story… it's very amateur-ish…)

If, though, that you give it your all and no one is reviewing… I'm sorry to say this, but, maybe you just didn't have the stuff.

HEY!

This doesn't mean give up!

THIS IS A CHALLENGE!

You must brave on, dear writer! At this point, start studying how the masters (or writers you respect) have characterized the same character you use, how they insert detail, the pacing of the story, how does the original story you are using goes – take notes and compare with your own. Make sure nothing has been disoriented!

But hey… no one said this was going to be easy, love.

A last word of advice – Never cave into pressure and write a story FOR the crowd. You write what you want and it's up to the public to accept it or not. A good rule of thumb is to write something you would want to read. (If you're curious, however, what really draws people… -inward sigh- it's a sexy scene, characters as vampires and silly humor…)

Part V – The Rating Game

(Difficult at first, easy as you go…)

The fanfiction rating system pretty much follows how movies are rated, but how do you know that you placed it right?

Here goes.

K+ -Older kids, PG. If your story contains anything that would not be acceptable in a bedtime story, use this rating if you're in doubt. Usually if you are using a minor swear word (such as "hell" or "damn" – a bit stretching though) or that the story may contain something slightly disturbing such as a death of, say, a child's pet, this is your rating. This rating is usually harmless in whatever issue that it may have.

T – Teen, PG-13. In this rating, you can get away with swearing, with brief mentions of sex, and brief mentions of substance abuse. These stories are usually directed to teenagers or those that don't want to get into the mature stuff. Some movies that have been named PG-13 transcend from cartoon world and can be a bit more realistic. If you have two males getting sexy, you'll have to use this rating… even if it is super –duper cute and not full of smut. (Unless you want to risk it…) Also, If you describe the kind of sex that is occurring, how the drug is used, or go for the big f-word, consider moving to the next rating. For this rating, I would also include a warning before reading – similar to movies. (Example of vague – "tossed around", "didn't get any sleep that night")

M – MATURE! In this rating, you may swear, you may have substance abuse, and you may describe the naughty bits – this is, most definitely, my favorite rating! However, I have heard of cases in which the writer's story was deleted for being too adult so be cautious! (If you feel like you're really stretching the limits, you'll have to post the story in adultfanfiction-dot-net) If a sex scene – usually the culprit for higher ratings – starts getting extremely explicit, that'll be your cue to move to the adult website. So… how much is too much? If you're getting pretty kinky or using dirty slang, those are your hints. And, what, you may ask, are those dirty slang words? Instead of saying "His throbbing member slid inside the slick hole…" you start substituting "member" for "cock" (and so such) and "hole" for "pussy" – the like. Gets nasty.

Part VI – Motivation/Getting In The Mood

(When you just can't write…)

You get the review. It's flashing in your face for some reason. Flash. Flash. Flash. You open it. It says those dreaded words "When are you going to update?" AUGH! Your heart! Your poor heart! You clutch your chest, then slink to the floor. You get up long enough to reply "Soon" or "I'll try!" but what you really want to say is "I don't know." You just don't. It's not even in the purpose of being evil. You just can't get the motivation! So what do you do?

I'm glad you came to me.

This common problem you are facing is known as "Writer's Block", antonym to those plot bunnies that were once your friend. Writer's Block appears for several reasons – sometimes because someone not only flamed your story, but torched it to shreds. Or perhaps your real life is invading your thinking. Or that beautiful inspiration you once had is now gone.

It happens to everybody. Don't worry a bit!

There are several techniques to getting rid of this terrible affliction. So let's review them.

First… Don't you dare give up. I mean it. It's never worth it to completely abandon those beautiful ideas in your head.

Second… Face the problem head on. (If it's not a psychological problem stemming from you're not sure if you're good enough, you may skip this step) If you feel like your stories are worthless or you yourself are, you need to say "Hey, no one's perfect! Not even Anna Tramell! I'm going to just keep getting better!" Go through your stories, find what you're having trouble with, and deal with it. Grammatical errors? Get a beta! You're pacing is too fast? Okay, slow down. Your descriptions are lacking? Make yourself describe locations and characters and their actions until it makes you crazy. Feel like you're getting repetitive? Okay, get a thesaurus – Microsoft Office comes with it and the internet provides one as well for free. When you need a new word, you will be given a lovely synonym. Look to your idols in fanfiction – your favorite stories – see how that author handles themselves. You are maturing, dear writer. I am… so proud.

Third… Don't force the story from that mind. This is pure genius. You can NOT rush genius. If the words of your language have completely left you, come back to it later. Wait until you get the jitters. Meanwhile, go off and enjoy yourself – read other fics, watch some tv, hang with friends… or do your homework

Fourth… Stimulation. It's time for euphemism to explain this. You got Creativity to go out with you. This is, indeed, a wonderful accomplishment and things have been swell. Now it's time to take the relationship to bed. So you've got to coax Creativity into being your horny beast. What do you do? Set the mood. Play music, dress sexy, but don't overdo it. The goal is to make the ultimate love child – which is your fanfic. To do this, I would suggest turning to the original source. Whatever your story is based from, review over it. Is it a movie or television show? Get a hold of the soundtrack, or something that reminds you of it. Or play music that alleviates your mood, or puts you in the tone you need for the story. (Sad music – tragic story; upbeat music – light-hearted story) Surround yourself into it. You may even dress sexy – I'm dead serious. When you dress sexy, you feel sexy. You feel good. Get to work. What else can you do? Connect to people in your fandom. Roleplay with one another for ideas or just talk – even general conversation is helpful.

Last Step in the Process… I want you – all of you – to bare in mind that as much fun as fanfiction and writing is, don't let it dominate your entire life. You've got living to do. Work, schooling, being. I know it's addicting… boy, don't I know… but fanfiction shouldn't be your number one priority. Mmk?

Now, some stories that you write may never make it. It was a one-night stand. It was a bad experience. You were drunk, maybe even stupid. Maybe the story resembled something else too much. Maybe you're just no longer inspired for it. And that's okay. It's time to let go. Let the story be free.

Part VII – QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS!

(The most informative section, I'm betting)

Q: Is it okay to ask for an author to finish up a story or is that too rude?

A: Not at all – as long as you are polite, that is. Dropping a private message asking for more and giving tons of praise may speed up the process; some authors are lazy, some wait for motivation before writing. You must also consider that an author may be facing a real life issue (such as breakup) and may not even want to write, so be kind in whatever the case!

Q: Is it okay to point out mistakes in a story to the author or is that too rude?

A: It's fine. I would advise that you sandwich that comment between praise and be as nice as possible (Authors are very sensitive…) I would also check the last reviews and make sure that you don't repeat someone's comment.

Q. I want so-and-so to do a sequel!

A. That's not a question! But why don't you try sending a private message asking for what you want – again be kind – and see what the response is. If, however, an author has already said no, leave the story be.

Q. Can I translate an author's work into another language so others can read it?

A. Only if you ask for their permission first, otherwise, it is a very a flattering question to get!

Q. Can I "borrow" an idea from someone's fanfiction?

A. Only if you ask for permission first and remember to credit them in the fanfiction! I would suggest being original though, if you're stealing a major idea… If you don't ask first, you'll be hit with karma and later found out – then hated! 0.0

Q. What should I put in my fanfiction profile? What do most people put?

A. Most people introduce themselves and give general information (likes, dislikes, fandoms, age, gender, etc.) Writers sometimes use that section to post new ideas for stories or give fans an idea what's going on, what fanfiction they're working most on, what they've dropped. I, myself, use it to tell people what I'm working on, and what stories I'm waiting to be updated! (Hoping that they'll find it… and write more…) I've also tried something new and put a little background of how I got into fanfiction, what stories I write, how often I update, and the like – I haven't had any feedback on that yet, but I'm satisfied with it. When I read someone's profile, I like to know what they're working on, why I haven't I seen update for a certain story, and who they are generally – especially to my favorite authors.

Q. I want to beta stories. What are the requirements?

A. I think that you have to be a fanfiction member for over a year (or two) and just need to set up a quick beta profile for people. As for personal requirements, I wouldn't beta stories if I haven't been doing well in grasping the concepts of grammar (comma usage, semi-commas vs. semi-colons, for example), if I didn't have the time to read the story through thoroughly, or if I'm not willing to check every reference for being correct, all names typed as spelled, and details as correct. Otherwise, good for it! It's kind of fun to read stories before the hit the fanfiction market.

Q. Can I add an original character to my fanfiction?

A. You can, but this is not advisable unless you are one damn good writer. This character needs to be minor in most cases, not having personal relationship with the main characters in any way, again, unless you're that good of a writer. Cally E. Larson's "Chasing Shadows" successfully put a new set of characters that Harry Potter himself(the fandom it is from) had strong relationships with and huge effects to the story's plot without deviating from the story too much – quite amazing. And I, myself, managed to throw one in and not get yelled at. Again, it's an advanced idea and shouldn't be done unless for a good purpose!

Q. Is it okay to do crossover pairings?

A. Gods, yes. Those can get pretty sexy – and creative. But use logic with who you pair – some people would never work together…

Q. How should I set up my story information?

A. I would include the title, the chapter and title of it, references, rating and warning, and added notes – also important could be any dedications or anyone that helped beta it! Keep it neat and tidy, and not too long in proportion to the story itself.

Q. Can I post original stories to the fanfiction website?

A. No, you can not. Fanfiction set up a separate site for just that purpose – fictionpress-dot-net.

Q. How do I get people to read my stories?

A. Refer above to Part IV.

Q. How often do I need to update?

A. If you want to keep interest in a story, try to not take longer than a month, two if you can help it. (You'd be surprised how fast time flies in fanfiction world…) Three days is a really nice goal, but make sure that you're not falling behind in the real world!

Q. My story was flamed…! What should I do?

A. Nothing. Don't take it personal! A lot of people tend to get bored and then take up their time putting people down – known as cyber bullying. It means nothing and you're probably a wonderful writer! Cookie?

Q. What are plot-bunnies?

A. Ahh… those… It's an abstract idea of a cuddly bunny that you love on (a story you update) and in fanfiction, you usually get addicted and tend to collect more of these bunnies, but suddenly – they want your attention – plot-bunnies bite! (Or when you have started too many ideas and haven't finished any…) I do not know the source of this, but have seen it mentioned here and there.

Q. What are the things that I need to warn people about in my story?

A. Anything that pertains to the rating, usually. If you have drugs, character death, rape, homosexual relationships, sexual situations, swearing, dark themes, violence… anything that you wouldn't want a three-year old to see, mention it. Also mention how much of it is in your story – some people aren't comfortable with those things…

Q. How many reviews is good for a story?

A. Any reviews are good to have, but I'd say ten on an opening chapter is pretty good. At least five is decent, and anything way above it is super special awesome pat-yourself-on-the-back! I wouldn't base anything on the number of reviews though – some can be flames, after all. And my absolutely favorite story (no way it could be topped for its epic-ness) has only reached 400 or so, while others (just decent) have over a thousand. I, myself, have gotten about 200 and I'm damn proud of them XD

Q: From SexyKill69: When was slash invented? Why is that a good name for it?

A. I don't have a clue when it was invented, but the origin is probably from the actual slash that goes between pairings. Like Harry/Voldemort. See that slash? Came out of no-where, and yet… it fits so well… I think it's the perfect name because one has to think of a blade, a lovely little blade, that slashes metaphorically into a books world, and plays with the characters. Or is that just me?

Q: From SexyKill69: What's a cannon?

I think it's spelled "canon", but it seems to mean that the story is following the original storyline in some areas directly. When I use it, I'm informing the reader that I know what I'm doing, and I have a reason for it to be canon – which is why other authors seem to use it. Just in case there's the one person that either can't stand it, or thinks the author doesn't know their ups and downs and whatnots.

Q. quaero lumen: "Will You Marry Me?"

A. Oh so unexpected! I-I... YES! YES! (drips mascara all over the place with happy tears) Smoochies?

Q. Natalie668: "I tried to write my first lemon scene and I got a couple of anonymous reviews telling me to stop writing the fic. I've been trying to write the next chapter for it but I just don't have the motivation to write . Any suggestions?"

A. My dear, dear Natalie, it sounds like you have a case of flamers! Well, we've talked a few times, I read your livejournal (I am OMISCIENT!) and you seem to be clear in your writing, with general good grammar and what nots. So I'm sure that's not the problem, but, just in case, you may want to have it beta-ed by yourself, myself, or one of the fellow beta helps of the fanfiction world. When the great evil error virus has been vanquished, read over it and see if it happens to make you, well, you know... then I want you get yourself into your writing mood. Wear your writin' hat, play some musick that corresponds to the mood of your fic, whatever! If you're working on another sexy scene, you're going to have to get yourself some material. Or wait until you're in "the mood". Also, you should never pressure yourself to write on a story if you don't have the motivation in the first place. That makes a bad fic. When you can put your heart into it and when writing is enjoyable at the time, it will just flow from you. Hell, it could be weeks later that you jump up and say "I know the perfect way to continue this story!" Helps?

Q. Stereophonic Aftershock - Can you explain the difference between an OC and a Mary Sue?

A. Np, bb :)

An OC is a general term for an original character. An OC can only appear in the world of fanfiction. A Mary Sue can strike at any time; they CAN be OCs, but they can even appear as the main character when writers take the name and setting and scrap the entire personality to insert themselves.. Mary Sues (or the male equivalent Gary Stu) are flawless characters, which makes them one-dimensional, and therefore not believable characters because people are definitely not one-dimensional. OCs are two-dimensional. Not all OCs are Mary Sues; not all Mary Sues are OCs. Mary Sues always suck. OCs only sometimes suck. (See also Part X)

Q. Stereophonic Aftershock- How do I tell an author if they're making an OC a Mary-Sue without sounding rude?

A. Some people will always be offended by criticism, so there's no secret to it - "rude" is subjective. The kindest way I can think of putting it is "I could be wrong, but I'm getting the impression that X is a Mary Sue/Gary Stu..." and you could perhaps site reasons why politely, and how this could be avoided if you're feeling extra nice. To soften the blow, sandwich your criticism in between kindness such as "I love how..."/CRITICISM/ "I think you're really good with..." And bare in mind that as much as we wish that reviews existed only to give authors ego boosts and fuel more smut writing, they're supposed to be honest critiques, there to help writers grow and master their craft. :)

Q. Stereophonic Aftershock: What's the best way to get readers to review? I tried setting a requirement, but that made them pissed off.

A. They'll get over it. :P

Sorry, dear, but there's no secret to this either. You plot/type/slave and readers take, take, take. Spread awareness that not reviewing is like... having a one-night stand, which is totally hot and all, but then the person just up and leaves and you're left thinking "Fuck, WAS IT GOOD FOR YOU?" but you don't know, so you kind of feel sexually inadequate.. and used... Er, yeah, just keep that in mind and make sure you're not that person - review every chance you get!

Q. chocolateluvr13: Can you write something on Mary-Sue's? Like how not to write a sue?

A. Absolutely, doll!

When you're writing a story, evaluate the character you're writing with. Does the character have anything that could be considered a flaw? If so, you're probably safe, but see Part X for more details.

Part VIII – Comments/Debates

(Fascinating reviews of debates I get. They exist as commentary, agree with them or disagree with them if you so wish)

(01: OOC – Bad?)

quaero lumen said: "I'm going to disagree with you on what you wrote for OOC and IC. I think it's very misleading. In my opinion, OOC is not automatically bad and an author characterization skills has nothing to do with how IC he/she makes the characters. Isn't it slightly silly to encourage and expect ff-authors to keep everyone IC? It'd take all the fun out of things!" (See her review! It goes on beautifully, I just brought out the first bit for the sake of space)

What does I say? I say that quaero-dear brings up a very valid point, but characters should stay somewhat IC or the character is no longer the character – but a nominal replacement. Though… I'm pretty sure that half of the humor pieces I do are so OOC that I should be shot…

Part IX – How Do I Write A Sexy Scene?

Oh no… it's time for the sex talk. (A-hem) Well… all right, here goes. It's time to put up the warnings.

This may get explicit.

Okay, so you've decided to write a sexy scene.

Maybe you've written one and you're not sure if it's any good? Well, that's a simple matter! You give it some time, read it at a later time (or give it to a friend) and if you have that feeling that may jizz all over the computer screen (or your friend swallows, gets up, and walks away to the bathroom…) then you've done splendid.

The key to writing a sexy scene is to make it so sexy… so incredibly sexy… that you just get that warm sexy feeling between the legs. It makes you sweat. It makes you sticky. It's so incredible that your lips are dry, and you have to collect yourself all over again when it's over. Now, that's a sexy scene…

If you've never had a sexy experience of your own, your story will not be lacking. I promise you that people bullshit all over their story – how else would a girl be able to explain "yaoi/slash/homoerotic man on man" and make it sound both sexy and plausible? Exactly. You don't need the experience. What you need is research.

And you need to be sure that you know the entire anatomy of the body for it to be bullshitted. Maybe you've read enough stories that you've got a pretty good idea? Unless you're entirely sure, I would consult either a pron site (Yes, I said that… ) or consult art, where nudity is totally okay. If you're going for the former, don't give yourself a virus. Use a friend's computer? Use the library's! You figure that one out for yourself.

Once you understand the body, make sure you understand the process, and I'm sure you've got a clue. If you're involved with someone, make them your bitch. Tell him/her it's a kinky game and go exploring. You may learn a lot. Take mental notes. It's all fun… MOVING ON!

Once you get to actually writing that scene, you should be feeling like you'd rather like jumping someone's bones, but focus all that energy into writing. Close your eyes and imagine the scenario. What would drive you up the wall? What if she bit your neck or you could feel the entire weight of his body covering you? Yeah, so, get to it. Once you're in that mood, it'll roll out of you. Once you're finished, review it, correct it, then put it away for a bit. Pick it up later (a week later) and see if it really gets you all over again. Or consult a reader/beta.

Now I'm going to walk away and pretend we never had this talk.

Part X - Mary Sue/Gary Stu

Mary Sues/Gary Stus are when authors insert a perfect character into a story, which is usually in order to make up for whatever inadequacies that the author is facing. That is, a guy that perceives himself as weak would write/roleplay a character with a large amount of strength. HIS ENEMIES DON'T STAND A CHANCE! And who probably gets a lot of action. A girl that feels unnoticed might write a character who is popular, everyone loves her, etc. These "characters" are one-dimensional, which is why they are considered an annoyance. (Basically, one-dimensional referring to a perfect character, no flaws)They're even more annoying in the fanfiction world, as they tend to crop up as OC characters or projected into an existing character (usually making the poor thing OOC, as in, not exactly the character anymore)

But let's step back and be realistic. Every writer puts a little bit of their soul in their writing, whether they realize it or not, and that's definitely not a bad thing. Mary Sues/Gary Stus, for the most part, are accidental. And, hey, we want to write about the things we dream would happen to us. I'm sappy and I want to write about an amazing romance that withstands even the binds of time(!) But to keep you lovelies in check, I've compiled a few steps to figuring out whether you've written a Mary Sue/Gary Stu.

If you think you may be writing a Mary Sue/Gary Stu, ask yourself the following question...

1. Evaluate your personal situation/state-of-mind. What are your wishes and dreams and etc.? Now what kind of stories are you writing? Don't freak out if they correlate. Just be aware of the situation.

2. Make some pros and cons about the character in question. What's good about him/her? What's bad about him/her? (X is outgoing and talkative but X's big-mouth gets X in trouble; Y is hot, Y is also an Assface)

3. If this character isn't an OC, go back to the original source from where you are basing this character and get a good idea how this character is portrayed. How are you portraying the character?

The easiest way to solve this issue is to ask a trusted friend to read over and give a good opinion, or perhaps take advantage of the beta services on fanfiction. I'm available for beta-ing, if you want to trust me (wink wink). Just review/message with the codeword " SMEGMA."

As always, it's been a pleasure. Happy writing out there!