Sam's POV

I softly walk across the empty auditorium. I usually go here after classes. Nobody goes here, unless it's a Thursday… or when there's a school play, then the annoying drama club would be here.

I stop at the center of the stage and look over the empty seats. What if he runs here right now and proposes his love for me? I smiled at the thought.

I walk silently to the side of the stage where a grand piano sat idling. I took one detailed sweep making sure that there was nobody there and sat down on the stool in front of the piano. I remember when Gibby accidentally walked in while hiding from a bully. He saw me playing the piano but a little something made him forget. I think it was a mild… just a mild, concussion. Yeah. I don't like people being here during my moments, it ruins my bad girl reputation.

I start playing a soft tune from the piano. It's I'm not that girl from the musical, Wicked. Idina Menzel is an awesome singer. Yeah, yeah, who would've thought that Sam would be a musical, sentimental, piano playing person? Well shut up coz I'm in a moment here.

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl.

I close my eyes and thought about the past days.

I was walking down the hallway when suddenly someone grabbed my hand. I looked towards who was my captor and saw that it was Freddie who was dragging me to an unused classroom.

"Freddie?! What…?!!?" I started once he shut the door behind us. He still hasn't let go of my hand.

"I was going to ask you for some help with…" He turned around and his eyes met mine.

Our faces were only 1 or 2 inches apart. He stopped midway of what he was saying and we just stood there in silence for a while. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster, pumping burning desire into my blood. I could feel my face heating up and a soft pink blush appearing in my cheeks.

"…Carly." He finished after a while.

I sighed. Carly. Of course. Always his precious, perfect Carly. "She'll never love you, dork." I said as I wrenched my hand away from his and left the room. He will never love you but I will always do.

Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl

I remember when I tried to make him notice me by being girly. I also tried making him jealous then. But I don't think that worked. Pete is an awesome guy, but he's not Freddie. And you better be America's hottest bachelor for me to even THINK about changing myself for you.

It was the day after what happened on the Groovy Smoothies and my date with Pete. I didn't want to wear those annoying heels and skirts so I went to my usual attire.

"What happened to the new girly Sam?" Freddie smirked beside me.

Usually I would have beaten him up for asking that, and for smirking at me. But I was going to let that slide. "She's buried somewhere to die alone." I grinned.

"Good. Coz you shouldn't change yourself for a guy." He smiled and walked to his locker. I could still feel a rush of happiness from what he said.

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

I like thinking that someday it would go through his head that Carly would never love him and that I would. I like closing my eyes and seeing Freddie and me standing by the beach watching a quiet sunset, with his arms around my waist and his lips on my cheek… on my lips. But when I open my eyes, it's him pinning for my best friend. Him complementing my best friend. Him worshiping the very ground my best friend walked on. It doesn't change anything. My dreams could make me feel better for a little while, but then reality comes back and smashes me harder than before.

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him

Carly. She's a what? Size 00 person? Every guy drools after her. Perfect Carly. Perfect… smart… beautiful Carly. Sometimes I actually envy her. She has everything a girl could ever dream of. Every guy in the school hooked up on her without her even trying. Awesome grades. Awesome brother. The most amazing guy after her.

Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose

I wish this was true. I wish that it was me that he loves. I wish that it was me who he would choose. I wish… I wish.

And heaven knows
I'm not that girl...

I could never be Carly. I could never be sweet innocent Carly. But I'll always be Sam. I just need someone to actually like me. Someone to dig deep enough to see the girl that I am now. The girl playing the piano in an empty auditorium. The girl who doesn't want anyone to see she's week. That girl. Me.

I opened my eyes. And just looked at the piano keys. I looked at how my hands flawlessly made their ways through the keys. It all comes from practice.

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and pearl

I don't want to keep on wishing anymore. I don't want my hopes to plummet down every time I see him practically begging for Carly to notice him. I blinked back a few tears, but some of them escaped and dropped on the smooth white piano keys.

There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl...

I guess Carly would be better for him anyways. She's nice, she's honest, she won't let him down, she won't disappoint him, she is loyal, and she's everything.

I sighed. The song was done but I kept on playing. I still hum along and muttered a few lines every time I repeat the song. I don't know why but I just somehow can't leave my spot right now. I sighed and stopped playing.

I was placing my hands back on the key's again, about to start a new song when I heard soft clapping from one of the seats in the auditorium. I know fear came across my face when I looked up and saw Freddie. He was standing there alone with a small smile on his face and he was clapping softly. I relaxed my face and smiled him a soft smile signaling him to come up to the stage beside me.

He walked up and carefully sat down beside me. He smiled at me timidly.

"Why so nervous Benson?" I asked him laughing softly.

"It's just that I've never seen this side of you. And I dunno… it's like meeting a new person." He said.

I frowned a bit and just nodded. I played a bit.

"You should be more like this you know."

I looked up to him with a shocked expression and a bit of hurt on my face.

"I-I mean you should act more like this. It's more… calming…" He said trialing off. I understand what he meant though. He wants me to be like Carly? To me sweet and nice and gentle? It's not like it's not me, it's just some part of me I didn't want to publicly display. Carly knows I could be nice and sensitive if I wanted to. But him asking me to be?!

"I'm not Carly Freddie. I never will be." I could feel some tears stinging my eyes. And with that I stood up and left him there wondering what just happened for the last few minutes.

I know it's kind of… confusing… but try to ponder it and you'll get a hint of her emotions. Ehehe… do you want me to well make this a multi chapter? Or just leave it as a one shot?