Kakashi Hatake had once been a full-fledged ANBU.
Soldier pills, ration bars, blood, katanas and that white, porcelain mask which he had almost worshipped at one point. He had travelled by night, slept in the little time allowed between missions, killed ruthlessly like that perfect tool he was.
A tool. He had been nothing more than a tool to serve the village he had pledged his life too.
It was the way of the ninja, he had reminded himself. Every chidori he had used, every team he had led into sure death, every enemy he had killed. It had all been worth it, he had tried to convince himself. In the end, he was a shinobi and his purpose in life was to serve the hokage and carry out orders. Nothing more, nothing less.
But sometimes, he wondered if it really was all worth it.
His father, Obito, Rin, Minato-sensei. So many people he had lost and in the end, it had been for the same reason he had given up his sanity. To protect the village- to protect their home. That numbness he felt, it might go away one day. He hoped that on that day he would also remember how to smile. No, it would never be that brilliant grin Minato-sensei had always worn just for him, never that mischievous smirk that Obito had shot at him whenever one his silly little pranks worked, never that beautiful, sweet smile and slight blush Rin would send his way when she thought he wasn't looking. It would never be that proud smile of his father he could barely remember.
It would be a small, sad smile; a broken smile. But it would be a smile all the same.
And when that day came, he never even realised it. He should have thanked the Sandaime back then, he muses now. That day he had gotten his new genin team- Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke. The son of his beloved sensei, the only living relative of his best friend and the healer who was just as kind-hearted as Rin had been. He should have been happy. They were the best thing that had happened to him. And yet the first time he had met them he had been more interested in his Icha Icha books.
They had grown on him, to say the least. Naruto's loud, constantly optimistic personality reminded him so much of his former sensei it almost hurt, but soon he began to realise that although Naruto was Minato's son, they would never be the same person. And Sakura. She may be a typical fan girl, but he knew that underneath she was truly a kind-hearted girl that was willing to do whatever it took to help others. And finally Sasuke. He was nothing like Obito. Cold, rude maybe, but not heartless. There were still those precious moments in which Sasuke showed just how much he cared for his team mates.
Naruto had asked him once who his precious people were.
"They're all dead," he had replied simply. His three genin had looked saddened. But then, his eyes had curved upwards and that small, broken smile had formed under his black mask for the first time. "But now," he had continued, "I have new ones."
Sakura had looked confused. "Who?" she had asked, while Sasuke had tried in vain to hide his curiosity.
He had only smiled more, because it felt so nice and he had missed it. "You three," he had whispered and he had wondered briefly if they had heard him.
That night however, once the small fire had died down and they had all laid on the grass at the mercy of the stars, he had felt the comforting presence of three, warm bodies snuggled closely against him and he knew in that moment that they had.
Kakashi Hatake had always been alone.
Now, that was finally starting to change.