The news suspended us in a surreal purgatory - every day for the past week we were informed that he was no better and no worse. Comatose, they said. No one had any idea whether or not he would come out of it.

It might actually be easier if he just died already, at least it'd be over and done with. That was horrible, I shouldn't think things like that.

"Edward!" Esme's voice echoed through the hall as I gave a poor attempt at juggling the dishes from last night's dinner.

I heard the door click open. A cool breeze rushed into the heated room, giving me a chill.

"Are you coming with us?"

I could tell she was already half-way out the door.

I stared at the filthy dishes I had lazily thrown into the sink. Brown streaks of dinner-aftermath began to fade into crimson colored razor strikes. It was sickening.

"No" I mutely shook my head, pointlessly.

Footsteps grew louder towards the kitchen.

"Oh, just leave the mess." My adoptive mother pushed her mess of brown hair out from in front of her hollow eyes.

I stared at the woman for a moment, she was almost exhausting to look at.

I bit my lip before I answered; "I have homework, school's in a couple of days and…"

A deep glare from the overhead lights reflected against the pink of her eyes, she stared at me desperately.

"You should come, Emmett's going. Jasper will be happy to see you." She informed me.

I fell victim to the guilt once again. I heard the dish rag hit the counter with a plop.

I nodded at her, and she tried as best she could to smile.

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I sat in the backseat next to an eerily quiet Rosalie, and absent-mindedly traced pictures along the condensation that had filled the windows. It was a bitter, rainy day.

The previous days had been no better, and the thought was forming how terribly monotonous this whole hospital routine was getting. I might actually be thankful to return to school on Monday.

The four of us, Carlisle being absent as usual, made our way upstairs. My teeth were chattering, the hospital was as cold inside as it was outside.

Emmett and Esme carried on a light conversation about who would be performing during New Year's tonight. I was less than interested, but Rosalie seemed intrigued.

She was probably wishing she would be watching the ball drop in New York tonight than walking through ghosts on a hospital floor.

There was just no adjusting to hospitals, I thought as we entered the bright, sterile-smelling room.

His body still sent a shock through me as I caught sight of my cousin. I averted my eyes over towards the empty chair in the corner. That was rude, I thought. Hindsight is twenty-twenty.

Though staring at the empty chair, I imagined the hours spent without us visiting to be very lonely. Then again, we weren't his only visitors. Alice was quite the nimble little girl, but I sometimes caught her heading down the hall when she thought no-one was looking. I hadn't yet had a free moment to talk with Jasper alone about her, it was a very intriguing mystery.

"Hey." Jasper greeted weakly.

At least he was conscious these days.

We all said our hello's, Esme forging a wide smile with hers.

"We brought you some things." Rosalie informed her brother with a voice too sweet to match her, although I didn't doubt the sincerity of it.

Rosalie held out a small brown bag to him. It was a simple gesture, and Jasper's hand reached for it willingly, but his boney fingers fumbled trying to grasp the handle, and the bag fell to the floor.

The poor bag had a million stares above it, it lay motionless on the cold, white tile.

"Sorry" Jasper said quickly, and winced.

The entire scene left an unknown aura in the air around us, but we all looked towards the scary figure beneath the scratchy hospital sheets.

He was staring down at his right hand, watching the joints of his fingers move coarsely as his willed them to. He eyes held such confusion and contempt, I might have thought they were the car that nearly killed him.

I had to swallow a wave of pain.

"It's a book." Rosalie said as she swiftly lifted the fallen object. "About the Civil War."

"We thought you'd like that." Esme said trying to capture his gaze away from the barely responsive digits.

"'Cause, like, you like that stuff and all." Emmett so profoundly stated.

Jasper, however, only continued to frown in distaste at his hand. It was the most disgruntled I'd ever seen him.

"They said it'd get better…" His mumble would not have been heard had the room not been so palpably silent.

"It takes time, honey." Esme was quick to assure.

He made no indication that he'd even heard her.

I felt horribly awkward standing in the middle of the crowded room. I absolutely hated just how white the rooms were, they made everything all the more nerve-racking.

I was aware, just then, that Rosalie was giving Esme a look. Silently asking permission, I supposed, as she often did. She wanted to go stare at the comatose man.

Esme nodded at her and Rosalie pulled Emmett by the sleeve out the door.

"See ya!" Emmett called as he was dragged.

And then there were three. Three proved to be no less awkward than five or even two.

I prayed to god that Esme wouldn't leave, as otherwise I'd have no idea what to say to the kid.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked.

I was fully aware that everyone knew it was just an excuse to leave the room, but maybe it would be best to leave the two of them alone, anyway. Esme was much better at consoling people than I was, which wasn't really saying much, but for the most part she was a very comforting person.

"Of course" Esme gave the green light, and I sped out of the room as quickly as possible.

I made my way down the hall, my eyes wide at incoming doctors and gurneys and patients.

I was about to enter the bathroom, when a blur of black darted past me; nearly knocking me over.

What was that? I stared down the long, colorless hallway. At the end of it was a little girl with short but strikingly dark hair and a dark colored dress to match.

She was so small and fair. Was that who I thought it was?

In a split second decision I closed the door I had been holding and began to follow the girl, keeping my distance slightly.

I watched as she turned on her heel away from the elevator and opted for the stairs.

She hit each one with a light and graceful beat, and I quietly feigned a casual walk behind her.

The small girl turned away at the bottom of the stairs and I realized I'd have no idea which way she went. That problem was taken care of, however, when a tiny fist quickly attached itself to my shirt as I transcended the last stair. It pulled me to the side.

I noticed the fair but angular features right away. It had been who I thought it was.

"Alice?" I asked as if that name might sum up everything.

"Shh" She scolded me. "They're coming."

"Who?"

Her eyes lifted to their upper right corner, she looked as though she was listening for something.

After a moment, I was pulled away once again; dragged down another hall which fit the repetitive theme of plain and cleanly, with the exception of a few new year's decorations lazily hung up. A sign pointed arrows in directions of Children's Mental Health Ward and Rehab Center.

I wasn't all that surprised when she led me down the former.

She looked at me and smiled when we reached a room, she swiftly slid into it, and left me standing out in the hallway.

I stuffed my hands into my pockets as I cautiously looked around. It was the Mental Ward after all.

So Alice was crazy, then? She certainly came off that way. I really should have just ran at that moment, but my feet remained firmly planted on the ground. I felt an odd need to trust her.

She emerged just as quietly as she had entered, this time a jacket in hand.

I connected the dots all too quickly.

"No." I whispered to her, shaking my head.

I was keeping a careful eye on the staff that seemed pretty preoccupied carrying patients down the hall or looking over paperwork.

She ignored me and then proceeded to deftly lead me back the way we came.

Wouldn't the first floor be the quickest way out? She was trying to escape, wasn't she?

Oh god, I couldn't help her with that. I really couldn't be a part of something like that, it would cause way too much trouble.

"Don't be scared, Edward." Alice blinked, looking at something I couldn't see as we came back to the hallway I had left. "It's not what you think, I'm just cold."

Asking someone not to be scared was a pretty easy thing to do when you weren't the one being lead away by a crazy, mysterious stranger.

"Here" She whispered as we reached a door at the very other end of the hall.

It was tiny and as she gripped the handle, it dawned on me it was too tiny to be a room.

"A closet?" I inquired.

She nodded at me.

"No" I shook my head. "I'm going to go back…"

"Get in the closet, Edward." She blinked at me.

Her eyes were wide, and she had such an innocent air about her, almost like a little sister.

"But I-"

The strong little girl pushed me in, and closed the door behind us.

"Who are you running away from?" I began in a harsh whisper. "Doctors? Why are you in the Mental Health Ward? Why do I always see you leaving Jasper's room?… What happened to your hair?"

"My full name is Alice Brandon." She said instead, optimistic as ever.

I grabbed the bridge of my nose to avoid an incoming headache.

"Are you crazy?" I asked as an expression at first, and then realized how literally it was meant.

She nodded. "They don't say I'm crazy, but everybody thinks so."

"How do you know?" This was a particularly good question because there seemed to be lots of things Alice somehow knew without reason.

"They think I'm crazy because I can't remember anything."

Like she hadn't remembered her own birthday? That would make sense.

"Amnesia?" I asked.

She nodded slowly.

"What about your parents?"

She made no hesitation. "Nobody knows."

I frowned.

"Where they went?"

She shook her head, her once long hair now short strands that swayed. "Who they are."

"But you know your name." I argued.

If they knew her name, they would know who her parents were.

"Alice." She nodded, as if she were a child reciting the alphabet. "Alice Brandon."

I nodded at her, slowly.

"It's all I can remember. It's a fairly common name, I wasn't reported as missing." She explained to me.

None of those facts seemed to bother her all that much, which caused me to stare at her intently.

"Now you live here?"

"Yes." She nodded.

I found my already terrible mood dropping, what a tragedy she was. Still as much of a mystery, too.

"How do you know Esme?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her. "She doesn't know you."

"You'll introduce me." A normal person would have asked, Alice informed.

"But…" I wiped a hand against my forehead, confused. "Never mind."

"Take me." Alice ordered.

"One more thing." I began. "How come you-"

She beamed at me, and before I could finish asking answered; "Because it looks cute!"

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I wasn't sure how Esme would feel about me bringing back a stray, but then again Esme obviously did have a thing for strays.

"His recovery's not going much better." I told Alice a few doors before Jasper's room.

"He's frustrated because he's having trouble with his hand." Alice frowned as if she had been personally attacked. "He doesn't like losing his independence; he doesn't like feeling weak."

"I wouldn't think someone who spends their entire life abiding to the orders of someone else would have such a value on freedom." I thought aloud.

I wasn't sure if that had come out right, I hadn't meant to insult my poor cousin.

"Yes." Alice agreed, but added; "And sometimes they are the ones who value it most."

Alice's words lingered in the quiet stillness until we reached Five-Six-Four-Six.

"Esme?" I asked, sticking my head into the room.

Both heads turned towards me, I feared I had interrupted an important conversation.

"You were gone a pretty long time." Esme frowned at me.

I hated it when I disappointed Esme. I swallowed; "I ran into someone."

I entered the room and allowed space for Alice to follow.

"Alice." Jasper's head picked up.

"Oh, your friend?" Esme asked him and then smiled towards Alice. "I'm Esme, Jasper's aunt."

"Pleased to meet you." She held out her hand. "I'm Alice Brandon."

Esme shook the small girl's hand, smiling. She was clearly impressed by her assertiveness.

Jasper was still staring at her, saying nothing. Alice ran a finger through a small tuft of hair, silently telling him something.

Jasper smiled and nodded at her; message received.

"Do you two go to the same school?" Esme asked.

The three children in the room shook their heads.

"She's staying here too." I told her.

I could see Esme sadden, as well as her curiosity incite. She looked the girl over, as if she had a prominent ailment and Esme had missed it.

It was rude, but I supposed even adults sometimes did rude things when they were typical human responses.

"She's an amnesiac." I eagerly informed her. I thought she might be impressed.

Esme's eyes widened for all but an instant. "Is that so?"

Alice nodded.

"I can't remember where I'm from or if I have parents." She was smiling. "You should take me home with you, because you adopt kids."

Esme looked as if someone had shot her; her eyes were bugging out of her head and her mouth was stationary partially open.

"Oh, Alice dear…" Esme began, seeming unsure where to start.

I began to laugh, loudly, and looked over towards Jasper for support. Esme looked between the two of us laughing, and her unease began to slowly fade away.

Alice looked as if she didn't quite understand what was so funny.

"You can't just be so blunt like that." I whispered into her ear, which was inches below me.

She didn't seem to get it until she looked over at Jasper.

"You're adorable" Esme crinkled her eyes at the girl, now finding her joke terribly 'cute'.

Alice smiled, I think she misinterpreted the statement.

" Do you like my outfit? They took me to the mall to get it. They have so many things there!" Alice said excitedly.

I nearly laughed again, Alice seemed so impressed with something as simple as a mall. Of course, this was the boondocks.

"It's lovely." Esme continued the conversation, however simple it may be.

Girls loved to talk about things like shoes and purses.

I rolled my eyes. I was grateful Bella wasn't like that. Bella, I thought and shook my head, it was no good to think about that.

Esme and Alice were chatting non-stop when a man in a bright white coat entered the room.

"Alice!" He cried, exasperated.

So she had been found. I sighed.

Alice quickly leaped, almost like a ballerina, behind Esme. My adoptive mother stood there quite confused, as Jasper glared daggers at the man.

"Demetri" She spat, clutching onto Esme's shirt.

"Dr." He corrected and then turned his attention towards Esme. "I'm sorry. It seems you've got one of my little runaways."

"Oh." Esme mouthed.

The doctor frowned at the tiny figure who was trying to hide. "You know it's off limits to wander the hospital. How did you even get past the nurses, anyway?"

That was something even I knew after only a few encounters with the girl. She was small, swift and strong. She was like a little ninja.

"I was visiting Jasper." She defended.

"Didn't I tell you I would try to set that up? You can't just go breaking all the rules and expect to get what you want. And now here you are inconveniencing these nice people."

Alice continued to pout.

"Sorry" Dr. Demetri apologized to Esme once more.

"She's not any trouble." Esme told him sincerely.

He nodded. "That's good to hear, but I best take her back now."

"No." Alice shook her head, gripping Esme tighter; causing my adoptive mother to let out a slight cry.

"Sweetheart." Esme began, looking somewhat embarrassed or maybe bombarded was more like it.

"I don't want to go." Alice frowned. "I'd rather stay here."

I could tell it pained Esme to deny her. Even I had to admit her puppy-dog eyes were something not to mess with.

Suddenly the already packed room became fuller as my beast of a foster brother came through the door, Rosalie right behind him.

"Whoa" The doctor scooted out of the way.

"Emmett-" Esme began, but was cut short.

"Who's this?" He asked.

"I don't want to go." Alice was still pleading.

"Alice-" Dr. Demetri was attempting to reason with her.

"I don't like it downstairs"

"Alice-" Esme tried again and was again cut off by Rosalie.

"Is that Jasper's friend? What's she doing?"

"She-"

"Can't I stay here?" The small pixie-like girl was begging.

"Alice, I-"

"Who's this?" Emmett pointed to the doctor.

"That's-"

"Please! Please, I want to stay with you"

"Alice-"

"Esme?" Emmett asked.

"Alice you're acting very immature-" The doctor was trying.

"But I want to-"

"So, wait- who is she?"

"She's Alice, she's-"

"I'll be good! Ple-"

"ENOUGH!!" The intimidating doctor's large voice forced silence upon the room.

All eyes stared at him.

"Alice." The name came off as dark, a bold contrast to the girl's personality. "Let's go. Now."

"I'll see you again" Alice said as a strong hand squeezed her slender wrist.

"Yes." Esme nodded as if it had been a question. She let out a sigh, but broke into a smile. "Certainly."

"See you soon, Jasper!" Alice called as she was dragged away.

"That was…" Esme let out another sigh as she tried to find the right word.

"Alice." Jasper answered with a slight smile.

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It was past midnight, a good hour or so into the new year. I wasn't sure how this year would fare in comparison to the previous, but I had no great hopes for it.

In truth I hadn't been sleeping well at all lately, tonight just had a special excuse. Normally, I'd stay downstairs reading or quietly tidying up the things Esme no longer had time to do.

Anything to avoid having to think about things, anything to avoid Rosalie. I didn't want to know the things she'd tell me in the middle of the night, it was beginning to be too much. At the same time, it was like she was the only one who would talk to me. Really talk to me; no lies. She still had secrets, though. Everyone had secrets, no one wanted to share.

I wanted to know, however. I wanted to know, and I didn't.

The things that Esme knew destroyed her, made her life too difficult for a woman as sweet as her. And what had she ever done to deserve this? Nothing. I couldn't imagine her ever doing anything bad, ever.

No, there was no reasoning. This was a good family that life was just maliciously attacking.

I just couldn't wrap my mind around it. How could people like Alice live so happily under such dark circumstances? Why did life have to hurt so many innocent people?

I was beginning to lose my faith in justice. Good? Bad? No, it didn't matter.

What mattered? It didn't matter what you did, life had no leniency.

I was sitting on the couch, in the dark. My paperback book open against the arm of it. It was another one Bella had wanted me to read.

I sighed, my thoughts always came back to her. I missed talking to her, she could cheer me up without even having to say anything. It was enough for me just to know she was there. Was I such a masochist I had to destroy that?

"NO!" I was jerked from my thoughts by a loud scream that came from upstairs.

My eyes widened, and my heart beat sped up. I was motionless as I waited for the next sound, some indicator of what was going on. The next sound, however, was too mumbled to be understood.

"Just who the hell do you think you are?!" I could perfectly make out it was Rosalie shouting. "You fucking skeez!"

"Where the hell is this coming from?!" This time Emmett was shouting.

"You're a pig!" She was screaming so loud I thought the windows might burst. "A fucking pig!"

I wrapped my arms around my knees, the house suddenly feeling so much colder.

"Hey! I just don't know where this is coming from, what did I do?" Emmett's voice was slightly softer.

"What did you do?!" Rosalie sounded as if she couldn't believe it. "You didn't do anything!"

"So then what the heck is the problem?!" Emmett clearly wasn't one for sarcasm.

I could hear the footsteps down the hall, they treaded slowly. I didn't know If it was Esme or Carlisle, the voice was a low murmur I couldn't make out from where I was.

I tucked my head into my knees. Maybe this was over now.

"Yes he did! He did!" Rosalie shouted, proving me wrong. "Your son is a fucking-"

She had been cut off, obviously getting scolded for her language.

"He's a pervert!" The rage in her voice was enough to send a shiver down my spine.

"Me?!" Emmett's voice was just as furious and even more frightening. "You know what she did?! She kissed Edward!"

It didn't register in my mind at first.

What had he said? What did he say?!

The silence was starting to suffocate me, I couldn't breath. It was a nightmare, an absolute nightmare. My heart was ready to explode.

He hadn't just said that, had he? Had he?!

"How would you know that?!" Rosalie almost made me faint, she sounded scared.

"People say some pretty funny things when they're drunk!" Emmett shouted.

I heard a gasp, it was definitely Esme.

"Fuck off, Emmett!" Rosalie shot back.

"Rosalie!" This time it was Carlisle. So she had woken both of them up.

Great I thought, Just great. I was really in for it now. I bit down on my lip hard, as hard as my teeth would dig into the weak flesh. What was going to happen to me? I… I could never look at my adoptive parents the same way again.

I grasped my arms tightly when I began to shake. Oh god, why did I have to ruin everything?

"Forget this!" She shrieked.

I grabbed my face in frustration. Why, Rosalie? Why do you have to be like this?

"Hey!" Carlisle managed to shout without sounding angry.

He was angry, wasn't he? He had every reason to be.

"Let go!!!!!" I could feel the shout. It made me jump.

I wish I had been able to hear the reply.

"You're not my father!!" She screamed. "Let go of me! Just back off! All of you!"

My heart was hurting, I placed a hand against it. Please stop.

"Leave me alone!" She was sobbing now.

I was shaking, and my lip was trembling. I was terrified.

"Edward?" Esme was calling upstairs. "Edward?!"

I hardly even heard her voice, I was just trying to breathe, trying not to cry, trying to calm down and quit shaking so much.

A booming sound became louder from the staircase, the bright lights of the living room were suddenly flicked on.

"Edward!" Esme's voice sounded relieved. "Your door was open and you weren't in there, I thought…."

I wouldn't lift my head to look at her. How could I after what I had done?

"Oh, baby." Her arms wrapped around me.

I was uncomfortable, but I was thankful she could help stop the shaking.

"It's alright." She whispered. "No, honey, it's alright."

I opened my mouth, wanting to argue, but I couldn't even speak. Nothing but chokes of sobs left my mouth.

"But…" I began. "Esme."

"Shh, calm down." She insisted. "What is it?"

"I… I…" I couldn't even say it.

"It's alright." She repeated.

No! It wasn't alright, it wasn't anywhere close to alright.

"I'm sorry!" I cried.

"Edward, you didn't do anything wrong." Esme let go of me to hold my shoulders and look me in the eye.

I stared down at my feet. I hadn't done anything wrong? Of course I had, this was all my fault. Maybe bad things didn't 'just happen' to good people, maybe it was me. I was… I was a terrible person.

"Edward." Esme me said more sharply, snapping my eyes upward. "There are certain things I think we are going to have to talk about, but you must know that even if people got angry tonight; no one is angry with you."

It made me feel like crying harder. She was such a nice person, she wouldn't even be mean to someone as bad as me.

"No" I cried, shaking my head strongly. "I…"

I had to admit it, didn't I? I actually had to say it.

I was going to be sick.

"I…" I swallowed, my stomach feeling as though I had just ingested poison. "But I… ki-… I KISSED her!"

The word fell off my tongue like a slimy worm, it was disgusting. I was disgusting, I had kissed my cousin. Who did that? It was so… It was just repulsive.

"It's alright" Esme was nearly in tears herself. "It's alright, we don't care. We just care that you're safe and well and that's all that's important."

"I'm sorry." I sobbed again.

"It's okay, baby." She hugged me again. "It's going to be fine."

"But…" I cried. "And Emmett and Rosalie… and…"

I didn't even know what I was talking about, it just came out.

"No, it's alright. It's fine."

"Jasper, Alice - they…. And, and with Carlisle… and I… and then Bella, and I'm…"

"Calm down, honey." She was holding me tightly. "It's okay. It's okay, they're fine. Everybody's fine."

That was such a lie I couldn't even bring myself to acknowledge it.

"I'm sorry." I cried again.

It was the only feeling I could pinpoint, I was sorry. All I was was sorry. I was sorry for everything, everything that had happened to everyone.

"It's not your fault." Esme told me sternly.

She was lying, she had to be lying.

"I'm sorry."

It was all I could say.

A/N: Ah poor Edward (and all of them).

I'm actually the one who's sorry, though. I realized I never thanked my reviewers in my last note!

O.o I've…. I've failed you.

Alright, this chapter: THANK YOU, THANK YOU! To everyone who gave me a review; THANK YOU! I really love to hear people's opinions and advice. : )

Still trying to figure out whether Alice is a pixie, a ballerina, or a ninja,

W.C.E