"Why do I get the feeling that it's different this time?" Chuck asked, brushing a stray curl from off of Blair's face as they both watched the sunlight creep in from the open window.

Blair smiled slightly and turned her gaze to meet his. "Maybe because neither of us were drunk or jealous or angry like we usually are whenever we sleep together. Or maybe because we're back where it all started. Old feelings resurfacing."

"Is that why you kissed me last night?" Chuck said quietly, "Because you were caught up in memories of how things used to be?"

Blair shook her head. "No."

"Then why?"

"It just felt... right." Blair struggled to explain how she felt. "You and I together... like it's how it's meant to be."

Chuck didn't answer, he just pulled her closer and wrapped the blankets around them tighter closing his eyes.

"We need to talk about this Chuck." Blair said. "We can't keep avoiding the issue."

He pretended that he was already asleep, but he had one eye slightly open as he heard her sigh at his avoidance before closing her own eyes and trying to drift off again.

"Nate knew where we were," Blair piped up suddenly as she ate a mouthful of pancake.

Chuck nearly choked on his French toast. "What? He couldn't have."

"Well he did. He managed to track us down to Berkeley during Sophomore year." Blair stated. "He said that he got as far as the grounds before turning around and going back home."

"Why wouldn't he stay to talk to us?" Chuck asked. "I mean if he's still furious after he's had ten years to get used to the idea, imagine what he was like after having only eighteen months. I'd hazard a guess that he had quite a lot he wanted to say."

Blair swirled her fork around in her leftover maple syrup. "He said that he didn't want to drag us back into the drama when he could see that we were so happy away from it all."

"If he could see that we were happier and better off in California why is he still being a bitch about us leaving?" Chuck asked irritably.

"He has a right to be mad Chuck," Blair reminded him. "We left without saying goodbye. I mean Nate and I were together, imagine what it must have been like for him. His best friend and his girlfriend bailing on him without warning. Finding out that I said my goodbyes to Serena and only left a message with her to pass on to him. Not to mention that almost all of our contact in the past few years has been through Serena – a line at the end of a letter sending him our love? God, Chuck, he was one of our best friends and in his eyes it seems that we barely even gave him a second thought."

"Just because Nathaniel suddenly decided that he cared after he realized that with us gone he might actually have to think for himself, it doesn't mean he's some great victim."

Blair's face softened and she grabbed his hand. "Chuck, I get that you're still angry with him. He was your best friend and he wasn't there for you when you needed him most."

Chuck glared at her, "You're right. He wasn't." He sighed, "Look Blair, Nathaniel was my very best friend. For a long time he was the only person I ever cared about. And then you came along and made everything change. Me and you... Nate's reaction, and all of the stuff in-between – I realized that our friendship was so one-sided it was almost comical."

"I know that Nate was never the best at showing that he cared," Blair said carefully, "and that he could be selfish at times – I should know, I dated him for ten years – but the point is, he did love you. And you loved him. Doesn't that count for something?"

Chuck shook his head bitterly. "If he loved me so much then why did he take Dan Humphrey's side over mine without even waiting for an explanation? Where was he when I had just found out that my father had died and was racing towards the hospital? When I disappeared after the funeral, was he the one that organized a search party and tracked me down? Or after that, when Jack was manipulating me into partying and drinking, did he knock on my door and tell me what an asshole I was being? If he loved me so much, why the hell did he go after the girl that he knew I was in love with?"

Blair didn't say anything. He took her silence as his answer.

"No. I didn't think so." Chuck spat, "But I was there for him. I sold Victrola to help his family, I saved him from being taped naked to a flagpole by the Skull and Bones, I helped him with his father, and I stepped aside because I thought that the two of you would be happier together."

Blair looked him in the eye. "So you're the hero and he's the villain?"

"That's not what I'm saying and you know it. In his eyes I was probably just as bad to him. I manipulated our friendship for my own gain often enough, and I spent entirely too much time leading him astray. I'll admit it, I wasn't winning any prizes for BFF of the years either." Chuck said levelly, he ran his fingers through his hair and groaned. "Look , I don't want to argue about this Blair, it's not worth it."

"He's your best friend, and you love him." Blair told him shortly, "It's worth it. You two just need to get over yourselves and work it out."

Chuck looked at his feet, "Have you stopped to consider that maybe I don't want to work it out?" He asked her quietly. "That maybe I'm done with all of that?"

"You don't mean that."

"Yes I do." He said firmly. "Waldorf, when are you going to realize that the only reason that I'm back here is because I know that you still love Nate and Serena and your parents? If it wasn't for you, I'd have turned down the deal and somehow managed to win CEO another way. If I had it my way, I wouldn't have set foot on the Upper East Side again in my life."

"You don't mean that!" Blair insisted.

"When I left here ten years ago I was done, Blair. With all of it. With Nate and Serena and Lily... I was done with all of the people who only called me when they wanted my help. I was sick of feeling like everybody that I cared about only stuck by me through obligation. I was tired of being Chuck Bass, and everything that went with it. Including my so-called family." He tilted her chin upwards so that her eyes connected with his. "If you hadn't come with me that night Blair, I wouldn't have ever contacted anyone of them ever again. The only reason that I have is because I knew that you wouldn't be happy if they weren't a part of your life – no matter how small a part that was."

"You always get me to sign your name," Blair whispered. "On postcards, on Christmas and birthday gifts... it's always me who tacks your love on at the end."

"If we left here tomorrow morning knowing that I'd never see anyone of these people aside from you and Eric ever again I'd sleep easy in my bed tonight." Chuck told her sincerely.

"You really don't care about them?" Blair asked.

Chuck sighed, "I care about them Blair. If anything ever happened to them then I'd be upset. I grew up with Nate and Serena and Lily was my step-mother – of course I care. I'm not heartless. I love them. After everything it's impossible for me to not. But I –"

"You don't want to get to know your niece, or to talk business with your new brother-in-law. You have your life, they have theirs." Blair finished for him, tone flat and empty. "You're done."

"You and Eric," Chuck repeated. "That's all I need."

"What makes us different Chuck? Why Eric and I? What makes us special? How do I know for sure that one day I won't wake up in the morning to find you gone, just because I said or did something stupid?"

"That's different and you know it."

"Is it? You claim to love Serena and Nate, but apparently you can leave them. What makes me different from them?" Blair asked harshly.

"Because I can live without them but I can't live without you!" Chuck said angrily. "Blair why are you doing this? I'm here aren't I? I'm playing nice with all of them. Isn't this what you want?"

"No! What I want is for us all to go back to the way things were. The Non-Judging-Breakfast-Club, remember?"

He scoffed. "That never existed in the first place. Wake up Waldorf! Open your eyes – we have been gone for ten years. What part of that don't you get? Things can't just go back to the way they were, and honestly, I don't think that you want them to. Overshadowed by Serena? Unloved by Nate? Jealous and bitter because your parents care more about their own happiness then they do yours? Do you actually want that again Blair?"

"Of course I don't!" She yelled back.

"Then why are you pushing for these great family reunions? You know that it's not going to last. You, me, Nate and Serena? Be real. Even if we had stayed in the city, gone to college as planned; you and Nate would have still broken up, and Serena would have done something to you – said something really awful in the heat of the moment and the two of you would have parted ways. And with her at Brown, Nate at Columbia and you at NYU you wouldn't have seen each other every day to motivate you enough to try and bridge the gap. Face it Blair, our leaving wasn't the reason that those friendships disintegrated. It just made the process happen that much faster."

Both of them were breathing heavily and silent tears ran streaks down Blair's face.

"Maybe you're right," Blair said finally. "If we had stayed Serena and I probably wouldn't be friends, and Nate and I would have eventually broken up and gone our separate ways. But we didn't stay; we left. And it's been ten years. We've all grown up. Things wouldn't be the same. We're not the same. But if there's a chance that I can have Serena and Nate and my parents in my life again without that compromising who I am as a person, then I'm going to take it."

"And when we leave again after we get the commission?" He asked. "What happens then?"

"Then they come down at Christmas or for Thanksgiving, and we holiday here during the summer." She shrugged simply. "I want them in my life again Chuck, I'm tired of having to choose between you and them." She stood up and began to walk away, but he called her back.

"And if it did come to a choice?"

"I'd choose you." She told him evenly. "But I don't think that I'd ever forgive you for it."

He watched as she exited the suite with her coat and her purse in hand. He looked down at his plate and his half-finished pancakes before snarling and pushing the plate away. He stormed over to the bar and grabbed a bottle of scotch and a glass. He downed a full glass in one mouthful and reached for his phone as he poured another. "Bro? Feel like getting wasted?"

"I can not believe that I let you persuade me to get drunk this early in the morning." Eric hiccuped.

"It's past one o' clock," Chuck drawled, taking another swig of his scotch. "It's afternoon now as of an hour ago."

Eric rolled his eyes, "Whatever. It's still too early." He pushed away his glass decisively.

"Don't consider it as getting drunk then, consider it as spending time with your favorite brother." Chuck refilled the glass, ignorant to Eric's half-hearted protests, and pushed it back to him. "Correction, one of your favorite brothers. You have three now. Technically."

"You were right the first time." He muttered.

Chuck raised an eyebrow, "Things still weird between you and Scott?"

Eric laughed sourly, "Only slightly. It's as if he knows that I already have a brother and I won't accept substitutes so he doesn't even bother trying anymore."

"Hmm," Chuck mused, "I live thousands of miles away, and still I manage to make a complete stranger feel insecure. Nice to know that I haven't lost my touch."

"He resents you of course," Eric continued. "Somehow he's always in the room whenever Serena starts a trip down memory lane. I can practically see his teeth clenching every time Jenny laughs about her and Blair's constant struggle for power and how Blair always came out on top, or whenever Mom smiles a little too wistfully whenever your name is mentioned. The others, they don't even get that they're doing it. Nobody but Rufus and I can see that Scott actually begrudges you your post in the family."

"I bet Rufus just loves that because of me his son feels left out." Chuck said sardonically.

"He doesn't do somersaults anyway, that's for sure. Truthfully, I think he's the only one that really embraced Scott into the family. Serena and Dan don't realize it, but they're ever-so-slightly bitter that Scott exists in the first place. In their eyes, he was the final straw that really broke them up for good. Jenny wasn't exactly thrilled to have a new guy show up in her life claiming to be her brother either, she got used to the idea after a while but things are still awkward between them." Eric paused.

"And as for Mom... Scott basically dropped in unexpectedly a few days after she had just given up on you. I think that in her eyes, by really opening herself up to him that she was betraying you somehow. She felt guilty to have him in her life, but then happy at the same time. For a long time she blew hot and cold with him, before eventually she settled somewhere in between."

Chuck nodded, "And Humphrey? What about him? Does he qualify as family?"

"He's just Dan." Eric said simply. "The same as he always was. After Lily and Rufus first got married Serena banned me from using the term sibling, or even step-sibling in reference to either him or Jenny. I don't blame her either, I mean she was dating him one minute, the next thing their parents are married and they share a sibling? I don't think she could have coped calling him brother."

Chuck and Eric both drank in silence for a while longer before Eric finally asked the question that was bugging him. "So what was the fight about?"

"Blair's all for playing happy families and reconnecting with everyone. I'm not." Chuck said shortly.

Eric nodded in understanding, "I don't really blame you." He said honestly. "I'd probably feel the same if it were me."

Chuck scowled, "Be grateful it's not."

Eric studied him closely, "And that's all that happened?" He asked casually, "Nothing else?"

His not-so-subtle prying was rewarded as expected;

"If I wanted to bitch about my innermost thoughts and feelings I would have called Serena. Now drink up, and shut up."

Eric rolled his eyes but did as told. Chuck would realize that he needed Nate and Serena soon enough, and until then he was more then happy to play mediator between him and Blair. Especially if it meant that his brother was back in his life permanently.

Blair smiled as Tori immediately ran to play on the jungle gym. Tori was just like Serena at age five – brave and flighty. She had taken to her 'Auntie Blair' very easily too. Blair was given a play-by-play of the girl's day at school, followed by Tori's strong desire to feed the ducks at Central Park because her mommy had told her that it was 'Auntie Blair's favorite place in the whole-wide-world'. Blair found it impossible not to acquiesce to her request, and the two ganged up on Serena mercilessly until she too had agreed. Now, three ice-creams and a loaf of bread later, they had decided to make one final stop at Tori's favorite place; the playground.

Making sure to wave and smile reassuringly at the precocious five-year-old every so often, Blair and Serena settled on one of the empty benches and began to catch up properly. They moved through such mundane topics such as work and old friends quickly, and they sat in a companionable silence for a few minutes before Serena ultimately broke it.

"Blair," Serena said slightly hesitantly as she played with the straps on Tori's schoolbag. "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did," Blair teased, before looking at her oldest friend knowingly. "You want to know about me and Chuck."

Serena nodded, biting her lip.

"Well we're not together, as you've probably gathered by now. But we're not exactly apart either. It's... complicated."

"It always was with you two."

"You remember how we were freshman year? Things were so easy back then. I had you and Nate, and Chuck and I were pretty close too We always hung out when you and Nate were busy. Then after you left and Nate began to grow distant... we got closer. I was finally Queen in your absence, and Chuck helped me realize my full bitchy potential. He was my best friend for a while." Blair smiled. "Then after the disaster that was our relationship in Junior and Senior year... I thought that once we'd left New York and everyone else in it that it would be perfect, you know? That we'd be together forever and no one was ever going to split us up. Pity life doesn't work like that."

"What happened?"

Blair sighed, "We got to Berkeley and it was perfect. We lived together after that first year, we took most of the same classes, we had the same group of friends... We were so happy and in love. But, midway through our Junior year, we realized that we were too reliant on each other. It's like we were scared to do anything without the other at our side. We needed a break, to sort out our heads and date other people for a while so that when we did get back together it would be for good. We would be ready for the next chapter in our lives."

"So you broke up?"

"Kind of." Blair sighed, "We were still in love – we couldn't just shut that off. But yeah, essentially we broke up. He went back to sleeping around and I tried to get involved with other guys but..." She shook her head with a wry smirk, "Chuck was it for me. I realized that a few months later but by then Chuck had gotten used to the idea of our just being friends – he had even stopped threatening to dismember every guy who asked me out. So I put off telling him until we were nearing graduation and the end of Senior year. I was just planning what to say to him when all of a sudden he comes storming in and kisses me and of course one thing led to another..." She grinned as Serena made a face. "Anyway, after that we both decided to wait until after graduation and make a fresh start."

Serena winced, "Why do I sense a but coming here?"

Blair stared out onto the kids in the playground, watching as they stumbled through the grass playing hide and seek and as Tori scaled the jungle gym while her friends cheered her on. "I got sick S." She said almost to herself. "Cancer. It was treatable – thank God. They caught it early. But it took a hell of a lot out of me."

"Oh my God." Serena whispered, she grabbed Blair's hand and squeezed tightly as tears came to both girls' eyes.

"I wasn't even twenty-three. I had my whole life ahead of me. For a while I honestly thought that I was going to die." Blair said hoarsely, remembering. "But Chuck – he was there for me through everything. Every appointment, every chemo or radiation session, he was at my side and holding my hand. I know that it killed him, seeing me like that, knowing that there was nothing he could do to help. Even with all of his millions he was powerless to stop this thing that was growing inside me and taking me over."

"But you got through it, right?" Serena asked, her voice breaking. "You're better now?"

"I've been in remission for the past four years." Blair told her. "It means that the cancer might come back, or it might not. They don't know. I've been going to appointments and check-ups every few months to make sure that everything is as it should be. My last appointment was supposed to be last week but I didn't go."

"Why not?" Serena asked, furiously wiping away her tears and attempting to wave brightly at Tori who was standing proudly atop the jungle gym. The second that Tori turned away again, her face fell and she turned back to Blair.

"Because that was going to be my last appointment. It's been four years. If everything turns out to be normal in this last check-up, then I'll be officially in the clear. I'll have beaten this thing for good. After all the pain, and the hurt and the tears, I'll have won. Really and truly won."

"Blair that's great!" Serena cried, hugging her best friend. "Why on earth didn't you go?"

Blair returned the hug stiffly, still caught up in her own thoughts. "Because everything will be different after that. I can finally move on from that part of my life."

Serena pulled away, her confusion masking her obvious relief. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"I slept with Chuck last night."

"What?"

"Chuck and I slept together. It's happened before of course, many times in the past four years. But last night it was different. It felt right. Like everything was coming full circle. We're meant to be together S. We always have been."

Serena accepted the change in conversation, though she was still confused. "Did you tell him that?"

"Yeah," She nodded. "And he feels the same. I know he does. Even if he's too scared to admit it."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Our relationship was basically put on hold for eighteen months as I was fighting the cancer and after that... At first it was because he was scared. He'd almost lost me once before, and he wasn't going to risk putting me through the stress and pain of a new relationship as I was recuperating. So he insisted that we remain friends, for a while at least. Then as time went on and we grew comfortable with our relationship, there seemed no need for it to really change. We knew that we still loved each other and that we always would – and it was enough." Blair sighed.

"And there was the threat of the cancer still hanging over our heads, ready to come back at any time. It was just another excuse for us to not be together, and because we were both terrified of ruining what we had worked so hard to build we latched on to it. But now that I might be in the clear, and with us sleeping together last night..."

"You're worried that there'll be no more reasons for you and Chuck to be together and you'll actually have to confront what you're feeling." Serena finished quietly.

"It will be the start of something, and it will be the end." Blair quoted dully. "Except that we have waited, and this is the future. We can't put it off any longer."

"Oh, B." Serena wrapped her arms around her again and this time Blair returned the embrace. "I know you're afraid, but this is something that you and Chuck have to do. You two belong together, I knew that back in Senior year, and even though I've never even been in the same room as you two together for more then five minutes – I know that now." She hugged her tightly, "He loves you so much Blair. He'd do anything for you." There was a tinge of sadness to her voice as she continued, watching Tori laugh at something her friend said over Blair's shoulder. "Not everyone's that lucky."

Disclaimer: Don't own.

A/N - I know, I know. Late as per usual. Writer's block is a bitch. But it's out now, and I've already started on the next chapter. Chuck's anger toward Nate and everyone may seem a little off, but think about it, was anyone other then Blair really there for him? I mean Serena really pissed me off at the funeral when she insisted Dan stay, and the next thing you know she's in Buenos Aires with Aaron? Never mind that her brother has just disappeared off of the face of the earth. And even when Chuck does come back, she just shrugs it off and accepts that he's back to normal. Same with Lily, she was totally selfish when she flaunted her relationship with Rufus in everyone's faces so soon after her husband had just died. I know she tried to mend the gap between her and Chuck, but I honestly don't think that she did enough.

Likewise with Nate, he was there for the funeral, but he wasn't exactly overexerting himself looking for Chuck when he disappeared. And he was there for the reading of the will, but only briefly. I think that he and Chuck's relationship has been like that for the whole of the second season and it really annoys me because they're supposed to be best friends. Blair and Serena may have their faults, but at least they spend time together so that we can actually see how they interact. And then the whole Nate/Blair thing, I didn't really mind that they got together, it's that Nate never even mentioned it to Chuck that gets me. He had to find out on Gossip Girl. I know that Chuck slept with Vanessa too, so he's not exactly innocent either. But an eye for an eye and all that.

Chuck may seem harsh here but a lot of it is just a front for the hurt that he feels toward the people who were supposed to love him and look after him. And in reality, the only people who even tried were Eric and Blair and he pushed both away.

Anyways, rambling over, thanks to all who reviewed last chapter, I really appreciate it. R&R
~Roo