Shadowstep: Dead and Hating It

Being a series of excerpts from the Diary of Booch Mishtar (aka Shadowstep), the famed Dunmeri wanderer who nearly stood up to the giant slaughterfish beneath the Bravil Wizard's Grotto, who almost stood up to the vicious chicken of Balmora, and who personally wet himself at the Battle of Bruma.

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Part the Tenth,

Of Gods and Machines

5th First Seed,

I remembered that strange letter I received telling me I have inherited some place named Deepscorn Hollow. Sounds charming. On my way now, just out of curiosity. Maybe I can sell it.

8th First Seed,

Inside the Hollow I found a creepy little vampire kid, some poisonous fruits and the final insult.

There is a 'font of renewal' here, which instantly cures vampirism.

It was here the whole time.

It INSTANTLY cures vampirism.

IN THE NAME OF-

Ed: the Imperial Publishing Co. regrets that the rest of this diary was too damaged to be accurately transcribed. The further adventures of Shadowstep, the strange and controversial Champion of Cyrodiil, will be told only in folklore.

Author's note-

Thanks for reading this far. This was less of a fanfic and more a way for me to vent my lasting frustrations about the Oblivion vampire quest (and my angry, three-day hunt for garlic).

More thanks too to those who were kind enough to review. I crave the attention.

ReaperRain for early encouragement,

Knightfall1138 for even more encouragement and the Monty Python joke,

Helena L for the idea and for getting the Blackadder reference,

Arkturium for making my breakfast taste better when I woke up and saw six new reviews,

Miss Lieress, Akimibutterfly, Jordy Tent, Boky, VampFire 712 (nice name) and an anonymous reviewer, for kind words.

Update-

It's a huge compliment to be asked about this, but I think I'm done with parodying Oblivion now. I already used up all my Oblivion jokes.