Hey everyone,

I hereby present to you my second Akira fic! This takes place somewhat a year before it all happened. I guess I tried to explain to myself, in my own, slashy way of thinking, the reasons why Tetsuo only seems to care about destroying Kaneda, over everyone else. ^.^

I hope you read, I hope you like, I hope you enjoy.

Losing control

Every time the wheels of his bike roll over the grey, dry concrete of this particular street, and the clouds gather over the city as a dark omen, he remembers what has happened one day and with remembering, he loses his focus. How often have the wheels slipped, how often were the times where he had almost lost his balance?

'Tetsuo!' Kaneda yells. 'C'mon!'

Tetsuo sighs. Nobody else in the Capsules notices his heightened insecurity on this road, but he knows that Kaneda does. Kaneda notices everything about him that deviates from his usual way of doing things. The bastard. He could almost read his mind, which was something Tetsuo wasn't happy about. To others, he had learned to conceal his essential weakness by just going away or being nice to them. With Kaneda, he couldn't. He could see right through him. So whenever he felt weak next to him, he just became angry. There wasn't anything he could do about it. Kaneda was their leader, and as far as he knew, he'd always be.

A year ago, when Tetsuo had only been fourteen years old, Kaneda had taught him how to ride a bike like he did. Tetsuo hadn't known a thing about bikes, but he remembered watching him and sometimes Yamagata drive by, having a great time and trying to beat each other in how fast they could go. He had been sitting on a sidewalk, somewhere close to their school, too shy to ask whether he could have a go on one of their bikes, too. One day, he had gathered all his courage and was determined to ask Kaneda. They had been friends since they had been five years old, surely he wouldn't mind?

But before he had even said his name, Kaneda had given him a big grin. 'Wanna try, Tetsuo?'
After a few seconds, he'd started to laugh.
'What's so funny?' Tetsuo had asked, confused.
'Your eyes turned so big there, I was afraid they were gonna fall out! Hey, Yamagata!'
Yamagata walked up to them. 'What's up, Kaneda?'
'We need to find him a bike. Something simple.'
'Okay. You gonna teach him how to ride, huh?'
'More than that.' He gave him a glance.
'I'm gonna turn little Tetsuo here into a Capsule.'

Three days later, when Tetsuo was sitting in class and very busy drawing stick figures on the table while ignoring the lesson, Kaneda sneaked through the door and sat down next to him, unseen by the teacher.
'Hey,' he whispered. Tetsuo understood that what he was about to say was some kind of secret, because otherwise, he would've spoken out loud.
'We've found you a bike. It's a pretty cool, not too old model. You'll like it.'
'Where did you get it?' Tetsuo grinned.
'Oh, you know. Downtown.'
'Great.'
'So, get your ass over to that large road two streets behind my place, tonight at nine. It's your first lesson.'
'Oh, alright...'
'Don't be nervous. Everyone falls down the first couple of times. I broke my wrist the first time I tried!'
'That doesn't really help...' Tetsuo smiled faintly at Kaneda's grin.
'You'll do fine. I won't laugh at you, promise.'
'Okay. I guess I'll do my best.'
'Awesome!'

That night, the bike had felt weird and instable underneath him, and he had hardly gone any faster than 3 mp/h. And on top of that, he'd fallen rather hard, four times, mostly after the moment he'd tried to start the engine. Luckily, his bike only had a few scratches. He had bloody elbows and hands himself. But Kaneda hadn't laughed at him. All he had done was give him advice and show him how it was done. Normally, Tetsuo would've felt small and hopeless, but this time, it was different. He liked his bike. He even was confident he was going to get the hang of this, soon. They had made an official appointment for the next day, at the same place.

'How did you get here, anyway? It's pretty far from your place, isn't it?'
Tetsuo slept in one of the dorms close to their school, which was, indeed, far from Kaneda's room. Kaneda had his own place. He'd gotten out of the dorms months ago and had broken into a deserted building. He'd told Tetsuo he'd thrown out a few junkies, and then the place had been his. Tetsuo was jealous, not only of his new room, but also of his ability to get things done.
'I came walking,' he admitted. 'My bike was stolen a week ago, and I didn't have money for a subway ticket...'
'And you're gonna walk back all the way to the dorms, right now?' Kaneda shouted in disbelief. 'It's past eleven, you moron! This is gang territory!'
'So?' Tetsuo said stubbornly.
'So? You might get killed!'

Looking around, the place did seem unsafe. There was graffiti everywhere, telling 'Milk' or 'the Monkeys' to fuck off and die. Tetsuo guessed these were names of several gangs, and shivered when he heard shouting and the shattering of glass from a few streets behind them.

'Well, what am I supposed to do, then? I can't ride that bike yet...'
'Step on.' Kaneda said.
'What?'
'Get on my bike!'
'But...'
'There's enough room for both of us, don't worry about it.'
Kaneda looked strong and determined. Tetsuo couldn't refuse his offer, so he got on carefully.
'Hold on to me.'

'Do it, or else you'll fall off.'
Slowly, Tetsuo put his arms around him. It felt weird. Wouldn't it look weird, too, if someone saw them like this?
'Listen, I don't care,' Kaneda said and started the engine. 'It's safer this way.'

Within a second, it seemed, they were off. Tetsuo closed his eyes at first, but as he got used to the speed, he dared looking around him. The lights from the buildings and the stores seemed to fly past them, and before he had even noticed someone on the road, Kaneda had already steered past them.
'This is funny though,' Kaneda yelled. 'On a regular night, your place would've been taken by a girl! So, what do you think?'
'It's great!' Tetsuo yelled back. 'I didn't know you could go this fast!'
'Wait till you can ride your own!'

When he awoke the next morning, he remembered having a dream. He had held Kaneda as he had done the day before, and they had been on a motorcycle. The strange thing was that they had been driving on the rooftops of Neo-Tokyo. But he had fallen off, and then, the dream had stopped. He was perfectly still for a minute, trying to remember every detail. It was only then that he remembered he had his second lesson that day.

That night, things had gone way better than before. Tetsuo was able to stay on his bike as it moved now, and he had learned how to brake at the right time. He had completely lost his sense of time because he was so busy with doing everything right, so he had been staggered to find out his watch had passed eleven, again.

'So, you think I could go home myself now?' Tetsuo asked Kaneda in the basement, where they'd stored his bike. He thought about that for a moment.
'No,' he said. 'You couldn't handle normal traffic. It's too much for you at the moment. Besides, it's late.' He gestured at his bike. 'Get on.'

The drive to Tetsuo's place took about ten minutes, minutes in which Tetsuo sniffed at Kaneda's jacket quietly. The pill on its back was put on in such a way that its colours wouldn't fade. One day, he might be a Capsule himself. Maybe he would be allowed to go out at night with the others then. He didn't know what they did when they were out, but they were always impatient about the next time. It just had to be awesome.

In the weeks that followed, Tetsuo mastered his bike almost completely. Surely, he fell now and then, but somehow he was able to remain pretty much uninjured. The rest of the gang joined them more often, and he was allowed to ride along with them.
'But if you fall behind, don't expect them to wait for you. They want to race on, understand?'
'Well, alright. I'll try to keep up.'
'I'll wait for you, though. No problem.'
'Cool.'

So that was it. At a Saturday night, the Capsules would go downtown for a drive and Tetsuo could go with them. He had been excited about it for days and couldn't wait to go. Finally able to drive his bike to Kaneda's place by himself, he arrived at half past nine. For ten minutes or so, they were all yelling and talking with each other, and passing each other small pills. One of them was given to Tetsuo, who stared at it, unsure if he should swallow it or not. But then he remembered the other guys, and the bike beneath him. He was almost a Capsule. He needed to be like them as fast as possible. He had trouble swallowing the pill, but pretended to do it as if he'd taken drugs like this one for years. Kaneda's voice sounded somewhere behind the group of Capsule boys.
'Ready, guys?'
Tetsuo looked up and saw him put on a pair of biker glasses. He watched him carefully. He was their leader, all of a sudden. What had he done in order to become their leader?
'Let's move!' he yelled and sped off, immediately followed by the rest of the gang. Tetsuo was alarmed by their speed; how was he ever going to keep up with them? If Kaneda was up in the front, how could he wait for him?
He shook his head and kick started his bike. To hell with it. He'd keep up with them. He had to.

The world seemed to be spinning, even though he tried his best to keep his focus on the road. The pill was making him high, he realized, but he didn't feel all that well. The others didn't seem to have the same problem, as they were happily driving on through the crowded streets. They had passed countless clubs and bars, when were they going to stop, for fuck's sake? He wasn't able to drive at the moment, he wasn't used to taking pills. He had seen one of the guys swallowing three of them; the thought alone made him sick.

Finally, in a place with a lot of shabby looking restaurants and bars, the gang stepped off their bikes, leaving one or two of them on the lookout. At last, Tetsuo felt some excitement about it all. They were driving too fast, and all had stolen bikes. He had taken a pill. He was one of them.

They entered a bar which they had been to often, it seemed, for they immediately started to talk to the barman and the other customers, mostly girls. Tetsuo sat down at the bar and watched the others from a safe distance as they drank their beer. He kind of liked the music here, but he didn't really care about being here. What was so great about this random bar?

He saw Kaneda on the other side of the bar, speaking to the barman. After a minute or so, the barman handed over a plastic bag while Kaneda handed him over some money. Pills, Tetsuo reckoned. Even more of them.

After stuffing the bag away in one of his pockets, he walked up to some girls standing in a corner. He seemed to have some success with them, they were constantly giggling and before Tetsuo knew it, they were holding his hands and hanging on his shoulder. After he had watched him for a moment, he realized it was hurting him. Why? Why wouldn't Kaneda have some fun with those girls? What was his problem? He didn't know, but it hurt either way. When one of the Capsules offered him another pill, he accepted it immediately. Maybe it would make him feel better.

He looked around. Kaneda had disappeared. So had the girls.

The night had been full of bars, girls, and pills, but at three AM, the gang became tired. Most of them were only fifteen or sixteen, after all. Tetsuo had already become tired at two, hardly understanding what they liked so much about this. But the pills had been good after all. They made the bike rides a lot better, and somehow, their effect on him had changed, and it all seemed to go perfectly.

On an empty crossroad, Kaneda got the entire group together.
'That's it for tonight, we're going home,' he yelled. 'But let 'em know we're the Capsules!'
He didn't seem to be drunk at all. Maybe he stayed sober the whole night to watch his gang, Tetsuo thought. Kaneda led the way. The gang went home.

It was half past three when they reached the place from where they had started. Everyone said goodbye, the group was disbanded, and everyone went their separate ways. Tetsuo wanted to leave, too, when he heard Kaneda's voice saying his name.

'Kaneda?'
'Tetsuo. You did great tonight, man!'
'I did?'
'Sure. How many pills did you take, anyway?'
'Two,' Tetsuo said hesitantly.
'Any good?'
'They were alright, I think...'
'Okay, great. See you at school, Monday.'
'Bye.'
He got on his bike and started on the drive home.
'Hey, Tetsuo!'
'Huh?'
'You're a Capsule now, you know that?'
Tetsuo's heart skipped a beat.
'Sleep tight, okay?' he added, almost out of hearing now.
''Kay!'