The Epic T Rated One-Shot Contest

Hosted by Daddy's Little Cannibal and Bronzehairedgirl620.

The rules are as followed:

1. No lemons.

2. It must be rated T.

3. It has to have a line (not an actual character) about a cannibal.

4. It has to have a line (not an actual character) about a fireman.

1. No lemons.

5. Cannon pairings.

6. It has to be a one-shot, you're allowed to continue it when the contest is over with.

7. Must copy and paste this to the beginning of every story you enter (you're allowed up to two entries, collaborations are accepted).

1. No lemons.

Edward had set up candles everywhere and the room looked beautiful. We'd had another perfect date, even if it was just dinner and a movie at my apartment, and I was enjoying being cuddled up next to him on the couch. I was lazily passing my hand over one of the low burning candles, satisfying my inner pyromaniac, enjoying the hot sting on my skin.

"You know you're going to set yourself on fire right?" he asked.

"Am not. Besides if I do catch on fire it'll be your fault."

"My fault? How do you figure that?"

I turned toward him and straddled his lap laying a searing kiss on his lips. "Because of how hot you make me."

"Maybe we should call the fire department?" he murmured against my lips.

I shook my head softly, "you can be my fireman, can't you Edward?" I was trying to be as sultry as I could, but I knew he would shut me down. He would effectively douse the flames of my lust in about 15 seconds, just like he always did.

"Mmmmm, I thought I was your cowboy?" He started trailing kisses all down my jaw and neck making me shiver, but I had to chuckle at his cowboy reference.

"Oh my Gosh Edward, you wore that hat once for Halloween, that hardly makes you a cowboy."

I pushed my hands up his chest, fingers splayed, and began kneading his pecs and shoulders. He groaned and laid his head back on the couch. I began nibbling his earlobe and whispered, "I could be your cannibal. You really are delicious you know..." I trailed off fixating on nipping at his neck working my way up to his lips.

"Bella," he groaned, "please let me keep my promise, to you and to your father. You know he would skin me alive if I were to compromise your virtue."

And there it was, shut down again.

He moved me off of his lap and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"You know you really are going to be the death of me don't you?"

"I do what I can..." I said letting out a big yawn. He began humming my song and I was quickly lost to sleep.

The next week went by along with several more couch sessions, but he was always the more level headed of the two of us. One night I almost grumbled, "virtue shmirtue."

I knew he was being a gentleman, but I wanted him badly. It seemed like every time we were together my heart would start beating faster and I just felt all twitterpated. I couldn't help the feelings he elicited from me.

It was a few days before Valentine's day and I was getting more and more curious. Edward was behaving differently. He was being sneaky and I wanted to know what he was up to.

He wasn't talking and neither was Alice. Something was definitely up. He was avoiding me, citing study groups and projects, but I wasn't buying it. My suspicions that something was up was confirmed when Alice shanghied me to the mall the morning of Valentines day.

"Alice, why are we here? I don't need anything." I was in a grumpy mood, feeling left out of the loop.

"Yes you do. And I know just what to get you."

She marched me into a designer shop and went straight to the rear of the store. There was a rack full of long evening gowns.

"Alice!? Why on earth do I need a dress like one of these?"

"Because I know where Edward is taking you tonight, and you most definitely need a dress like..." she paused rummaging through the different gowns, "this!"

She held up a beautiful navy blue gown. The top was gathered and had one strap going over the shoulder and the rest of the dress flowed softly from the empire waist. I had to admit, it really was beautiful.

I took it from her and went into the dressing room. Sure enough, it fit perfectly, and we even found a wrap to match. She let me off with a pair of 2 inch heeled strappy sandals, and I opted for no purse. I could always stick my lip gloss in Edward's pocket.

We returned to my apartment and Alice shoved me into the shower. When I came out, the torture devices, I mean beautification instruments, were all laid out.

She made quick work of me and in no time, I had been transformed. My hair flowed in soft curls over my shoulders, and the make up was light and natural. She outdid herself and I truly felt beautiful.

Edward knocked on the door moments later. I laughed softly thinking how uncanny it was that Alice always had such perfect timing. She blew me a kiss and winked at Edward as she squeezed past him.

"Wow, Bella, you look...words can't describe..." I smiled at how flabbergasted he was.

"You don't look half bad either." If I were telling the truth, he'd never looked better. His dark navy suit fit perfectly and the sparkling green tie accentuated his emerald eyes perfectly.

He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the side of my mouth, not wanting to ruin Alice's artistry. As he pulled away I could feel my skin tingle where his lips just were. He held out his hand for me and asked, "are you ready love?"

I nodded and placed my hand in his. I loved how they just fit perfectly together.

"So where are we going?" My curiosity was killing me.

"Uh uhn, you're not getting anything from me."

"Pleeeeeease?" No, I was not above whining.

"Not going to work." He was shaking his head and smiling.

"Fine," I huffed, crossing my arms.

He led me to the Vanquish and held my hand as I settled into the passenger seat. Once he was settled and we were on our way to the "big secret mystery date", I had an evil thought.

"Edward?" I purred.

"Yes Bella?" He had an eyebrow cocked and a questioning look on his features as he glanced sideways at me.

"Would you give me anything I wanted for my birthday?"

"You know I would, but you never let me."

"Anything at all?"

"Of course." I felt like a Venus fly trap who just snapped her leaves closed over her next meal.

"I think for my birthday, I'd like to drive the Vanquish."

Edwards eye's got huge and nearly popped out of his head. He was quiet, trying to think of some loophole, without offending me.

"Umm, Bella, you don't really drive a manual transmission."

He was right, but I wanted to make him squirm.

"Then you could teach me, I'm sure it's not that hard."

"Why don't we start out in the Volvo, it'd be easier for you, and then by the time your birthday comes you'll be ready to try the Vanquish." He had a very pained expression as he said the last part of his speech.

I decided to push him a little more, just to be mean, since I didn't get to know where we were going.

"No, I don't want to start on the Volvo, I want to learn on the Vanquish, please Edward?"

"Bella, it's 250,000 dollar car, the transmission is...delicate."

"So your car is more important than my feelings?" I was laying it on thick, I knew that, but I was almost finished.

"NO! Bella, that's not what I meant...I mean it's just...can't we try..." I couldn't hold my giggles in any longer, he was just too darn cute when he was that flustered.

"Edward, don't stress out. I know I need to learn on a less expensive car. Don't worry about it. Maybe Rosalie can find me a beater car to practice on."

Edward's face was crinkled up in pretend annoyance. I knew he could never stay mad at me for long. "You're really mean you know that?"

The car began to slow as we pulled up to the Valet station at a very old historic building downtown.

We walked through the large lobby, past the huge marble columns, the gorgeous flower arrangements, and plush couches, arriving finally at the elevators.

Edward pushed the call button and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "You really do look absolutely stunning tonight Love."

The depth of emotion coming from his eyes was a bit overwhelming and I had no other response than to smile a big goofy smile. The man knew how to shut me up and it was to overload my fragile sense of self with genuine compliments.

We stepped inside the elevator car and Edward pushed the button for the top floor.

"We're going to the very top?" I was really curious now.

"Have you never heard of The Roof?" He was grinning from ear to ear, so excited it seemed, for what he had planned.

I just shook my head, I'd never heard of The Roof, unless we're talking about the structure that keeps the weather out of a house. I decided to keep that smart aleck comment to myself though.

When the elevator doors opened, we walked out and turned down a long hallway. At the end of the hall there was a large mosaic tile fountain in the center of a rotunda. Behind the fountain was a huge wall of windows with the most fantastic view of the city below.

"Edward, the view is amazing," I said nearly pressing my face to the glass.

"That it is my Bella." I turned and noticed he wasn't looking out at the skyline, but rather right at me. "Come, our table should be ready."

He led me to the hostess stand and gave his name. He gently took my wrap and checked it at the cloak room. The hostess then led us to a very nice table with the perfect view of the entire city.

Dinner was fabulous, the rolls with whipped raspberry honey butter were to die for, and conversation flowed perfectly. The ambiance couldn't have been better, a live pianist was playing soft music that only enhanced our surroundings.

But even with all that, I could sense an underlying tension coming from Edward. He was glancing down at his watch a bit more frequently than one should on such a relaxing and perfect evening.

"Edward? Do we have a deadline or time limit or something? Why do you keep looking at your watch?"

"Oh, well, no reason, I just wanted to know what time it was." He tried to put on his famous crooked smile, but it was a bit strained.

I narrowed my eyes, I knew there was more to it than that. "What else do you have up your sleeve Edward Cullen?"

He chuckled nervously and started shaking his head. "Nothing up the sleeve, Love, but I do need to use the restroom, I'll be right back." He placed a soft kiss on my hand and excused himself.

I leaned on my elbow and gazed at the twinkling lights of the city below, when I heard a very familiar tune. I turned and looked in the direction of the piano, and sure enough, there was Edward playing my song. He motioned me over with a slight nod of his head.

As I got closer and closer to him, I noticed something strange sitting on top of the piano. A fish bowl, like the kind you'd put a regular old goldfish in, was filled with baking flour. I stood next to the piano and smiled at Edward as he played, all the while shooting furtive glances at the mysterious fish bowl.

When he finished the song, the original pianist resumed his seat, and started playing Claire de Lune.

Edward took the bowl full of flour and pushed it towards me. "What is with the fish bowl full of flour?"

"Bella, there's something special for you in the flower but you'll have to look for it."

"What do you mean, 'look for it'? You want me to stick my hands in there?" I asked incredulously.

He simply nodded.

"Fine, but keep in mind that white flour and navy dresses do not go well with each other."

"Just do it Bella, please?"

I sunk my hand into the bowl and began sifting my fingers through the white powder. I twisted my hand back and forth, but felt nothing other than the flour itself.

I put my other hand in and tried to sift more but it was to no avail. "Edward there is absolutely nothing special in here." I hadn't noticed that he'd shifted away from the piano and had dropped to one knee.

Out of nowhere he'd produced an enormous bouquet of long stemmed red roses, and in the center was nestled a small black velvet box. Apparently there was nothing up his sleeve, but he'd managed to hide a dozen roses halfway down his pants and concealed the rest with his suit coat.

"I think you're looking in the wrong flower Bella." He lifted the small box out of the bouquet and deftly flipped it open with one hand. I tried to calm my breathing when I saw the beautiful vintage ring inside. But the gasps were hard to contain.

"Bella, I know we've only known each other a short time, but from the first moment I saw you, I knew you were it for me. I realized I've been waiting for you my whole life. Will you do me the honor of being my Valentine forever?"

Tears were streaming down my face, this was the happiest moment of my life, but I still had some presence of mind. I took both of my flour covered hands and planted them firmly on his cheeks, doing my best to cover him in flour too, and breathed, "yes, I'm yours forever," before kissing him soundly on the lips.

We kissed for what could've been hours, the entire world melted away and we were the only two remaining. Slowly the sound of applause filtered into my consciousness and I realized, Edward was still on one knee grinning triumphantly.

I took the roses in my right hand and shakily held out my left to him. He slipped the delicate ring onto my finger and kissed each knuckle before standing up and taking a small bow to the rest of the restaurant patrons.

As I became more aware of my surroundings, I noticed a mischievous little pixie with a camera and was chagrined for a fraction of a second, before I realized how much I would cherish those pictures. I gave her a wink and turned to Edward for another kiss. This one full of all the passion and love we felt for each other.

He led me back to our table where the left over food had already been boxed up for us. I sat down and took a sip of my water. My evil brain was functioning again and I leaned over to the table and whispered, "you know, when we're married, the Vanquish is half mine."

Edward's smile faltered momentarily but was replaced by an equally wicked grin when he said, "I'll buy another one for you."