Coolest Uncle Ever by Luvscharlie

Warnings/Author's Notes: Underage, infidelity, incest, voyeurism, oral, lots of implications. I should probably warn for everything that will probably want to make you spork out your eyes. So, if you value your pupils, don't read it. You were warned. This is not a fun family fic, as someone was quick to point out to me. You're right, it's not. Sorry that the warning didn't get up sooner. Originally written for asnowyowl's birthday on Live Journal.

When Uncle Charlie comes home, things at Gran and Grandpa's house seem a little strange. It's like he brings with him a whole sense of wild that everyone else just feeds off of, myself included. Of course, that's usually when Mum starts giving me that look where she says, "Hugo," in thattone. Nothing more, just my name. But when she's looking at me like that, she really doesn't need to say anything else.

I can't help it. Uncle Charlie just brings out the wild in me. He's always been my favourite. No, really. He has. He's made of awesome. When I was little, Mum would ask, "Hugo, what do you want to be when you grow up?" (Mum, she's real big on life direction. A nutter about it, if you ask me, not that anyone ever does.) I always answered, "UNCLE CHARLIE!" Then Mum and Dad would exchange looks of concern.

Mum, she never has been much of a fan of my Uncle Charlie and his wild ways. She calls him a kid in a man's body, and oftentimes the words "needs to grow up" get used in the same sentence with Uncle Charlie's name.

Anyway…

When I got the owl that Uncle Charlie was in town for a visit, I was ecstatic. I rushed right over to the Burrow. I hurled myself out of the fireplace at an all out run, and was just about to head to the living room when I heard a low groan coming from up the stairs. I redirected.

I heard the word "Charlie," said aloud, and I recognised Uncle Harry's voice. Hmm, I wondered if Al was here too. Al liked Uncle Charlie almost as much as I did. I ran up the stairs as fast as I could, and was just about to call out, "Where are you?" when I passed the open door to Uncle Percy's old room and saw them.

Uncle Charlie was stretched out on his back lying across the bed, and Uncle Harry was on his hands and knees with his mouth moving in rhythmic fashion up and down on the biggest cock I'd ever seen. In fact, I felt a bit inadequate at the comparison. I reminded myself I was only fourteen, and perhaps there was still hope, but gosh, I'd best start doing some serious growing if I was going to catch up.

I probably should have turned away then. I mean, it wasn't really right what was happening there, was it? Uncle Harry being married to Aunt Ginny and all, this was just completely wrong. But man oh man, did it look right. I couldn't help myself. Maybe it was my wild nature. Maybe it was that I'd inherited a good deal too much of my Uncle Charlie's personality, but I watched. I stood in the doorway, slid my hand into my pants and I began to stroke my cock in just the way Uncle Harry's mouth was moving on Uncle Charlie's cock.

I'd always wondered what this looked like—I mean really looked like—not just images in the magazines that we passed around the boys' dormitory back at school. And here I was, watching the most wrong thing I'd ever laid my eyes on—well, except that time I saw my parents in the kitchen doing thatand just ewwwww. I think that might have scarred me for life. So, if I was enjoying this, maybe it was ultimately, somehow, my parents' fault. The theory had flaws, grant it, but I was in no mood to hash them out. I needed a scapegoat to allow myself to enjoy this, they were handy at the moment, and well, I was going with it.

"Fuck, yes, Harry. Just like that," Uncle Charlie moaned. My fist moved quickly up and down my cock faster than I'd ever remembered wanking. When Uncle Charlie said things like that, it was just—well, hot and sexy and dear heavens, I was so close to shooting off already—

Uncle Charlie shifted his hips off the bed and began to thrust, "Gonna come, Harry," Yep, I sure was.My had flew faster still, back and forth, up and down. I was wanking like I'd never wanked before.

Uncle Charlie came with a groan, and Uncle Harry followed soon after. Me, well, I came somewhere in there too, and I must have made some noise. I really must work on being quieter—there had been frequent complaints about "noisy Hugo" back in the dorms, and perhaps my roommates had a valid complaint. I opened my eyes, my hand covered with my own come and saw Uncle Charlie and Uncle Harry staring wide-eyed at me.

"Hi, there," I said, with a wave trying to look innocent. Of course, I really shouldn't have waved using that hand; it sort of gave me up and made it kind of hard to lie about my recent activities, what with the evidence right there waving at them and all.

Uncle Charlie propped up on one elbow and grinned. "Hey there, Hugo," he said. "Enjoy the show?"

Uncle Harry just went pale—really, really pale.

Uncle Harry looked nervous all through dinner at the Burrow that night. Uncle Charlie just grinned and winked at me when I caught his eye. I was glad to know he wasn't going to rat me out, but I guess it would have been kind of hard to do that, what with Aunt Ginny sitting so close by.

"Hugo," said Uncle Charlie suddenly, halfway through dessert. I nearly peed my pants, I was so surprised. Surely he wouldn't tell on me now.

"Um, yeah?"

"There's an opening this summer for students to get some extra school credit by working on the Reserve. You interested? I could show you the ropes. You'd learn a lot." Oh, I surely bet I would. Just the thought of what Uncle Charlie would teach me made my cock stiff.

Mum started to interject, but Uncle Charlie was too quick for her.

"Surely, you can't object to the boy furthering his education and getting some much needed credit for school, Hermione? It's a golden opportunity."

Uncle Charlie had gotten her where it counted. Mum was all about furthering my education and giving my life that direction she thought I needed. She just seemed really sure that "direction" I needed was not the direction Uncle Charlie might lead me in. Still, he had her between a wand and an owl, and she bloody knew it.

I looked on in anticipation. It was a fairly even match, but Uncle Charlie had drawn first blood—so to speak. The thought of spending summer in Romania with my Uncle Charlie—Al was going to be so jealous. I caught Al's eye across the table, but he didn't look jealous. He was grinning from ear to ear. Something was up.

Mum wasn't ready to admit defeat yet, however.

"Charlie, don't you think it would be much more beneficial to Albus to have this experience," said Mum. "He's older than Hugo and—"

"I planned to bring them both. I've already cleared it with the Headmistress."

Score another one for Uncle Charlie! Mum was falling faster than a broken broomstick.

"Oh!" Mum said, surprised. "Well, I—erm—"

She was speechless. That was a good sign.

"Well, I guess that would be okay with me, if Ginny and Harry are going to let Albus go."

Mum looked at Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry, her last chance to save me from the debauchery that would be my summer—my sweet, blissful, probably sex-filled summer—in Romania. "We think it will be a wonderful opportunity for Al," said Aunt Ginny, and I could have kissed her—except that would be gross.

Summer in Romania. It was a done deal. Al and I were going to spend our summer in the wilds of Romania with Uncle Charlie.

Coolest. Uncle. EVER.

Fin