Once upon a time there was a girl named Molly who, in a word, loved Death Note. It wasn't the awesome plot line or creative characters; no, it was, of course, the awesome concept of death gods eating apples.
I mean really.
Death Gods eating apples?
AWE-SUM.
Anyway, one day her friend made a weird contest to make up a random skit they should do for an up-coming talent show. The winner gets an L plushie!
Psh, of course she joined.
So, she brought her finished product to her friend who, upon reading it, died after her brain melted. Naw, just kidding, she handed it back to her after laughing her ass of and said, very firmly, "HELL NO."
So, ashamed, Molly discarded the skit and it was never seen again.
Until now.
*epic Star Wars music plays*
AND HERE IT IS.
Molly's Awesome Death Note Skit of Awesomeness
*L is sitting on a white chair, a doctor in front of him*
Doctor Guy: Okay, so, mister L…uh, wait, L? What the heck, were your parents the alphabet?
L: …..*creepy stare* My parents died tragically in a horrible fire.
Doctor Guy: .......Ahem, right. Well, it seems you have Type 2 Diabetes. Sorry, sucks for you. *bites into random doughnut*
L: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. *throws self off chair*
SCENE CHANGE SCENE CHANGE SCENE CHANGE
*Light is watching TV, sitting on the couch eating ice cream*
TV: And for a limited time only, we'll add free….AIDS! BUY TODAY! BUY TODAYYYY!
Light: OMG! I WANT AIDS!
TV: Then just have sex with Misa.
Light: *stares at TV, creeped out* ….right, ANYWAI. *picks up phone to call when Misa runs in*
Misa: Light, Light! I heard Ryuzaki is sick! We have to visit him! Come, come! *drags him off stage*
SCENE CHANGE SCENE CHANGE SCENE CHANGE
*Light and Misa walk into a hospital room. L is on a bed, coughing and looking all sick. Misa gasps and runs up, falling next to him. Light stands behind her.*
Misa: Oh, poor Ryuzaki!
L: Misa…? *reaches forward and coughs* Is…that you?
Misa: *teary* OH RYUZAKI!
Light: Oh gaw.
L: Misa…come closer…*cough*
Misa: *leans closer*
L: clo…ser.
Misa: *leans closer, worried*
L: ….*bites nose*
Misa: YAAAAAAAAAA! *flail*
Light: *bites into magically-appearing apple*
Ryuk: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW! *tackles Light and bites hand, swallowing apple*
Light: GAHHH! *much flailing commences*
Ryuk: *drools all over hand*
*doctor walks in. Everyone stops.*
Doctor: ……*walks out*
Ryuk: GRAAAAAAAAAA. *chases doctor off stage*
Light: ….*stands up.*
Misa: ……I guess its okay, since Ryuzaki is sick. *pets*
L: *grin* Thank…*cough* you…Misa….chan…*cute cough* I'm glad you're here….in my last moments…on this earth.
Misa: Ryuzakiiiii. *sobsob*
Light: YOU HAVE DIABETES, NOT A TERMINAL ILLNESS!
Misa: GASP. Don't be mean to Ryuzaki, he's sick!
Ryuzaki: Yeah, don't be mean to Ryuzaki, he's sick. *evil grin*
Light: SCREW YOU ALL. *turns to crowd* YOU TOO. STOP WAITING FOR ME TO MAKE OUT WITH L. IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN. YOU ALL DESERVE TO HAVE DEAD KITTENS THROWN AT YOU. YA I SAID IT. *throws a stuffed cat at audience*
Misa: Light is so dreamy.
L: Don't kill a kitty! D:
Light: I HATE KITTIES.
Misa&L: *gasp*
L: *writes in Death Note he somehow got* Light Yagami…dies of…angry mob of PETA members…
PETA members: *run onstage with battle cries and drag him off*
Light: I knew this is how I would go…
L: *stare*
Misa: LIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! *runs after*
L: *alone* Hm…*turns TV on*
TV: And for a limited time only, we'll add free….AIDS! BUY TODAY! BUY TODAYYYY! Or else.
L: I want AIDS!
Ryuk: *suddenly there* I can give those to you for free. ;D
L: …..*throws stuffed kitty*
Ryuk: HYUKHYUK. I'M ALLERGIC.
After this skit was found again, it was burned.
Then fed to sharks.
Then, burned again.
Then thrown in a well.
Then it was buried deep underground and murdered by mole people.
That's how much it sucks.
Hell, it doesn't even deserve to be put in humor section.
Or on fanfiction.
So no one knows why it is.
The end. :D
AND FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY, IF YOU REVIEW THIS STORY, YOU'LL GET FREE….AIDS!
FROM RYUK!
REVIEW TODAY! REVIEW TODAYYY!