I pick at the vegetables in my plate absent-mindedly, tired of having to
sit among courtesans whom I despise. Even after the turmoil of the Holy War
- what was holy about it please don't ask, I don't really know - they
barely changed. All they live for is luxury and gossip. Right now, they are
murmuring something about my oddities in food preference. Really, they must
have little if anything to worry about, if they chose such a trivial topic
for the evening.
It's no mistery I am vegetarian. But then again, maybe the topic isn't so trivial after all. I sense Bishamonten's eyes staring worriedly at me. It's funny. No outward sign of our former exclusive friendship shows anymore, even when we are alone, but I can still sense his concern and loyalty towards me. I wish it could move me like it used to, once. He knows I have not always been vegetarian.
It's something I picked right after the final victory and my instauration in Zemni-jou. For a moment I feel the wicked temptation to stand up and explain to everybody exactly why I can no longer stand even the thought of meat in my mouth. The look on their faces would be almost worth it. Almost. Bishamonten realizes I'm returning his look and drops his pensive gaze to the plate in front of him.
I raise my glass and bring it to my mouth, but the ruby-coloured liquid suddenly resembles more blood than wine. I put the glass down, after having only pretended to take a sip, and glance at the people gathered in this room. I sigh, something I do not do frequently, especially in public, and give up the attempt to ingest a decent amount of food for the night.
Not that I was hungry to begin with anyway. Most of the time I take my meals alone so I guess it would be funny, if it wasn't a horrid memory, that everytime I have to dine with people I can't help but think of the one meal I consumed alone in a hall not very far from this one.
The head healer of my personal staff once told me that meat is necessary to keep the muscles in good shape. Guess the heart isn't a muscle, after all, because only looking at Shashi sitting beside me and neatly cutting her roast-beef makes my chest ache, not to mention my stomach seems to be turning inside out.
Sure thing, the damn healer never said a word about it again. I kinda think he's in hell now, wishing he hadn't been partial on the food issue, because if it is true that all is revealed in death, then I guess now he knows the reason why I can't stand even the thought of meat in my mouth.
It's no mistery I am vegetarian. But then again, maybe the topic isn't so trivial after all. I sense Bishamonten's eyes staring worriedly at me. It's funny. No outward sign of our former exclusive friendship shows anymore, even when we are alone, but I can still sense his concern and loyalty towards me. I wish it could move me like it used to, once. He knows I have not always been vegetarian.
It's something I picked right after the final victory and my instauration in Zemni-jou. For a moment I feel the wicked temptation to stand up and explain to everybody exactly why I can no longer stand even the thought of meat in my mouth. The look on their faces would be almost worth it. Almost. Bishamonten realizes I'm returning his look and drops his pensive gaze to the plate in front of him.
I raise my glass and bring it to my mouth, but the ruby-coloured liquid suddenly resembles more blood than wine. I put the glass down, after having only pretended to take a sip, and glance at the people gathered in this room. I sigh, something I do not do frequently, especially in public, and give up the attempt to ingest a decent amount of food for the night.
Not that I was hungry to begin with anyway. Most of the time I take my meals alone so I guess it would be funny, if it wasn't a horrid memory, that everytime I have to dine with people I can't help but think of the one meal I consumed alone in a hall not very far from this one.
The head healer of my personal staff once told me that meat is necessary to keep the muscles in good shape. Guess the heart isn't a muscle, after all, because only looking at Shashi sitting beside me and neatly cutting her roast-beef makes my chest ache, not to mention my stomach seems to be turning inside out.
Sure thing, the damn healer never said a word about it again. I kinda think he's in hell now, wishing he hadn't been partial on the food issue, because if it is true that all is revealed in death, then I guess now he knows the reason why I can't stand even the thought of meat in my mouth.