Humoresque

For a plan as grand as the 'Zero Requiem' much preparation is necessary. Of course, there are the monetary issues, Emperor Lelouch Vi Brittania's grandiose float, the 'advertising', the Royal Guard's salary, the laundry bills... The plan was nothing short of insanely expensive, but since the pair had made all the crucial preparations, it was easily manageable (Brittania was a rich empire after all). But financial matters are the least of their concerns it seems. Psychological preparation also did not seem to matter as much either, they were both entirely prepared in that way, from the moment they sealed their pact, they were both ready to kill and be killed (though not necessarily in the same way). So to what do they give their attentions to? The more trivial things actually, the details so to speak, for instance, Suzaku's 'Zero' outfit, Lelouch made the alterations to his own costume himself, seeing as there is no one else he can trust for the task, he cannot exactly ask C.C. or Suzaku. The former Knight of Zero does not admit his amusement at the Emperor's fixation over the mentioned costume, Kururugi has made it a point to be distant, such were his precautionary psychological preparations.

"This..." Suzaku says "...is an interesting sight" his voice was flat, though he was incredibly amused on the inside

"Shut up" was Lelouch's quick and snappy retort. It was not as if he, the great (?) 99th Emperor had a choice, he had to clean 'Zero's' clothes before their 'performance', his own bathtub seemed to be the only logically safe place to conduct this task.

Suzaku crosses his arms, slumps against the door frame "You do realize the day I'll have to wear that monstrosity, does not come for two weeks..."

"The material this 'monstrosity' is made of..." Lelouch said "...does not dry overnight" with a final scrub, his eyes brighten "There!" he exclaims "That should be enough!" and he hangs the newly washed article of clothing on his towel rack, right next to 'Zero's cloak', and then reminds himself to tell the maids that he will clean his bathroom himself for a while (at least, until the clothes dry). He huffs in content, and moves out to his bedroom, passing Suzaku nonchalantly. He sits on one of the two plush chairs present, takes the Zero helmet from where it rested (which was, on the table between the two chairs), and then, taking what is evidently a handkerchief from his pocket, he begins to polish it. The edges of Suzaku's mouth twitch upward slightly, in utter amusement.

The former knight sits across the Emperor. "Though I'm happy about your dedication to our little farce... I have to say I find it weird that you over exert yourself preparing what I'm going to wear."

"No one else is going to prepare it" is the snappy reply, but their eyes do not meet "And I will not stand for my murder, who will be, coincidentally, the world's hero, looking anything less than glorious..." he looks at Suzaku then smirks "...nor will I stand for the Emperor looking anything less than immaculate on his deathbed. Do remember that I still want to have some dignity even as millions of people spit on my grave"

"And morsel of dignity you will be given..." Suzaku waves his hand dismissively, as he always does when Lelouch 'jokes', and then he focuses his gaze on Lelouch's hands as they polish Zero's helmet. "I think that you're over doing it with the helmet though... It might become too shiny, and the sun will be blindingly bright on that day I'm sure"

Lelouch smiles "Well, such is how the heavens love to play along with us, though they might be doing it out of spite..."

"Drop the 'might', they are most definitely doing it out of spite" the 'dead' man's tone is indignant

The Emperor chuckles "That might be true" and he sighs "...I hope they acknowledge how ingenious a plan this is though"

"They might be thinking more on the lines of it being insane... If anyone found out what we we're really doing they'd think we were over-reaching, doing what no human should be doing..." Suzaku inwardly tells himself that nobody ever tries is all, and that people should learn that sometimes the ends DO justify the means

Lelouch carefully places the helmet and cloth onto the table between them, smiles at Suzaku and then says "Do you know David Hume Suzaku?"

"There is more than one man who went by that name in history" by this, Suzaku can only be asking 'Which one?'

"The Scottish philosopher..." Lelouch stood up, moved towards his bedside table and opened drawer, he grabbed a pen, and a clean sheet of paper "... A few of his studies went around this principle..." he sits across Suzaku once again, begins to write where the other can see.

The former knight watched carefully as Lelouch wrote, he made two columns, on the first one the word 'God' was written at the very top and below it was the word 'Humans', below that was a line and below that line was only one word, 'Animals'. The second column was not significantly different, 'God' was the topmost word, but beside it was a question mark, and directly below it was a line, below the line was the word 'Humans' and below that was the word 'Animals'. Suzaku tilted his head to the side, comprehending what Lelouch had written. "I suppose, based on your plan..." to which he can be only referring to the Zero Requiem "...that you believe in what's written in this column..." and he points at the first column

"That's what it would seem like..." a smile "...Which is why you and I, most ESPECIALLY I, are frowned upon in today's society... But you're wrong, I believe the second one"

Suzaku stares at him, with an indifferent expression. Stares down at the piece of paper, then points at the question mark beside the word 'God' on the second column "Why is there a need for this?" this, presumably refers to the question mark

"What's your theory?" and anyone can tell that Lelouch is sort of just teasing him, Suzaku scowls

"My theory is the obvious, it's because everything beyond this line..." Suzaku points at the line above the word 'Humans' "... is completely vague to mankind"

"That's true; certainly everything beyond this line is vague..." Lelouch looks at Suzaku squarely in the eye "...though I believe the line itself is vague as well...Nobody really knows this boundary..."

"...And... you're claiming you understand the line?" Suzaku raises an eyebrow

"I'm claiming no such thing..." he smiles "...I don't understand the line, I AM the line"

Silence ensues and Suzaku tilts his head to one side "...You do realize that made absolutely no sense..."

"On the contrary, it makes perfect sense, though I must point out that you yourself are part of the line as well... C.C. is one of those beyond it I guess..." and he looks like he's beginning to muse

"You're saying I don't understand myself?" Suzaku narrows his eyes

"No one does, not you, nor I... Not anybody..." Lelouch smiles

Suzaku continues to scowls at him for a minute or two, Lelouch laughs lightly in response

"Ah, you must think I'm going insane..." the Emperor says

The former knight sighs "...You just might be..." because no other adjective fit Lelouch so perfectly, insane

Lelouch laughs "Anyway..." he stares at the piece of paper on which he had written on "...Hume's ideas were certainly interesting..."

Suzaku can't help but snort, and Lelouch looks at him curiously. The former knight looks away and gives no explanation whatsoever. Lelouch could figure it out on his own anyway, there is no idea more interesting than having the world's problems all blamed on yourself and then having your (former) best friend kill you.

"Have you seen the float?" the question is asked suddenly, though casually

Suzaku shrugs and replies "No" flatly

"You should see it, practice getting to the top effortlessly" Lelouch smiles, almost like a grin

"I won't need to practice... I can get a top any flamboyant float you have your workers make..." though it's a bragging statement, the tone is emotionless

Lelouch laughs "As expected from the 'late' Knight of Zero..." then, unexpectedly, Lelouch's eyes widen, Suzaku raises an eyebrow, but doesn't ask what's wrong, "...which reminds me...There's something I have to show you..." and to that, Suzaku furrows his eyebrows

..............................

"You rebuilt it..." and Suzaku's eyes can't help but widen, white and majestic, Lancelot stood before him

"Ah... well yes... Everyone I had ordered is under the impression I was rebuilding it in tribute to you..." he laughs lightly "...Well I guess that's partly true, mostly I just thought it had been a waste..." he touches the white metal gently "... it was an amazing how you piloted this... Shame your final battle ended in a draw..."

"You can't honestly say that, you're happy it ended in a draw..." Suzaku said dismissively

Lelouch shrugs "Still, such a majestic machine should not be left in pieces... Consider it as a parting gift?"

"What do you expect me to do with it?" because it's not like everyone would be happy to see Lancelot soaring the skies once again, he was after all the infamous Knight of Zero's trusted Knightmare.

"It's up to you..." he shrugs again "... after two weeks, you won't even need this anymore...However..." and the tone of Lelouch's voice makes Suzaku look at him curiously, the Emperor was starting to sound colder than he usually tended to be "...However... Promise me that you'll never destroy this, whatever the situation... Let it e a reminder that Lelouch Lamperouge and Kururugi Suzaku existed..."

"Hnh... You haven't addressed yourself with that last name in a long time..." Suzaku mutters

"Because I'm no longer Lelouch Lamperouge, he was just an ordinary school boy... Who just so happened to lead a history making rebellion on the side..." he almost laughs "...I can't be Lamperouge anymore...There's no going back, till the day I die, I shall be named Lelouch Vi Brittania..."

"For all our sakes...You better be serious" and it was said with a solid, flat tone

"Ah... Lest you forget Suzaku, that I am in fact always serious... Which is why most people would think me insane..."

"No, most people think you insane, because you ARE insane... or because they think you're inhuman..." Suzaku pauses "...Whichever is worse"

Lelouch half-smiles "I suppose you agree with all those sentiments..."

Suzaku tilts his head to one side "...Well... I DO... But..." he sighs "...It takes one to know one... I AM on your team..."

He turns to him "...Why are you on my team?"

"I ask myself that same question everyday..." Suzaku says, he expected a witty retort from Lelouch, but when the other remains silent he continues "...but the more I think about that the more it doesn't make sense, perhaps I had no reason, maybe it was for Euphie.... I don't know... But I do know that this is, mostly likely the right place to be... You better not make me change my mind"

"Wouldn't dream of it..." Lelouch says with a laugh "...You better not rethink that opinion anytime soon..."

"Of course not..." is the plain reply, and then Lelouch smiles

"What time is it?" he asks, and Suzaku raises an eyebrow, though he still looks indifferent

"Around noon I suppose"

"Shall we have lunch then?" Lelouch proposes gesturing towards the exit

Suzaku stares at him, and does not reply, briefly wondering why the person in front of him was in such a friendly mood.

"Oh come now, don't tell me you have prior appointments? Dead men do not usually have appointments..." he sounded half-teasing

Suzaku shrugs "Lunch it is..."

...........................

This happens a week later, when Suzaku is alone with the Emperor yet again. When Lelouch begins to feel his impending doom, when he's beginning to muse on 'fond memories', when he's beginning to talk more insane than the usual "Suzaku, do you believe in the thinking that people depend on others to affirm their own existence?"

The reply is a shrug, emerald eyes look away, and gaze at the Emperor's bedroom carpet.

"In many ways I'm happy that I'll die in such a fashion... I will forever be remembered by all... History books will forever affirm my existence..." he muses "...as they will affirm yours as well of course..."

"We'll be forever scorned by mankind..." Suzaku still doesn't look at him, he knows he'll just feel uneasy looking at Lelouch's abysmal distant eyes, they were not like him "... Though I think there will be a handful of 'foolish' kids who'll idolize us someday... Even the worst rulers have their fans, and they can be quite avid..."

Lelouch laughs, bitterly "I've been wondering if anyone can ever unknowingly figure out the truth..."

"Once in a millennium, there WILL be someone as insane as you..." Suzaku says

"True..." Lelouch laughs "...True..."

They remain silent for a moment, until Lelouch decides to talk again. "I have a favour to ask of you..."

And just when Suzaku was about to say a sarcastic reply about Lelouch and his 'favours', he meets the Emperor's piercingly serious gaze. "What is it?"

Lelouch stares at him seriously for a long time before answering "Affirm my existence"

..............................

Two weeks later, when Lelouch is dead, and when Suzaku is taking care of Nunally, the younger vi Brittania accidentally flips open the former Knight of Zero's phone, only to cry when she sees the wallpaper was an image of her brother and Suzaku, half-smiling. There were more pictures in that phone, all of the two, and all dated the week before the inevitable day, when that sword pierced through Lelouch's body.

.............................

(a/n:Epic-ly random. Yet again. I do not have the ability to end oneshots well. D: it's sad. Anyway. I'd appreciate reviews. I'm sorry if it was messy. It was sort of stream of consciousness style... I love conversations like this, haha! Oh, by the way, this was unedited. So sorry for the typos and errors)

EDIT: THIS IS NOW.... EDITED 8D