Author's Note - This FanFiction was first written in April, 2009 by me. It was published, and a couple of months later, I gave up on it and started writing more FanFictions under different categories and genres. Since then, I have improved my writing technique and style, and therefore, I am completely remodifying this story to better live up to my new writing standards. Therefore, this is a completely re-written, newly revised version of Chapter One. I will go through each and every chapter, making changes of all sorts to descriptions, etc... The revised date underneath the Chapter title means it is edited severely since it was originally posted. Those that don't have revised on (date), are not yet edited.
If you have already read this chapter before I edited it, I advise you read it again, as it has much more meaning to it now.
I added almost 3,000 more words. o_o
Please do enjoy;
One-Sided Pancake
Elfen Tränen
- Der Prolog / The Prologue -
(Revised on August 30th, 2009)
A young surgeon specializing in childbirth paces the white floors of his office anxiously as he considers how he is going to break the bad news to the new parents. He was a new doctor, having only graduated and applying at this hospital a few years ago. In those few years, he has helped hopeful mothers deliver many children of all situations and backgrounds. In all these years of doctoring, however, he has never been faced with a situation that he has had a loss of words such as now.
How would he break the news, that could potentially throw these patients into an incurable depression?
They were a happy couple; young and expecting to marry in the next ten months, after the mother recovers from birth. At the prime of their lives, the birth of their first child would be one of their greatest milestones. Although they came from a family of very few members, they were friendly and outgoing to all those who they would meet. If anyone deserved the best of the world, they were the ones.
Now, sitting in the Recovery room, the couple awaiting news upon their newborn daughter.
Nearly every couple that walks into the delivery room leaves knowing that their beautiful child has been brought to their earth from the skies of heaven, to eternally live together. It's natural that the desire to raise a happy and prosperous child is the one dream that parents share alike at heart. It's human nature... No. It is the nature of all living things.
But then again, not everything goes according to plan.
Sometimes, the heavens offer you a child of different circumstances;
A gentle and calm child who needs unconditional love and attention, like any other child.
Yes, there were plenty of these special children.
Hundreds of them, in fact.
Hundreds of disadvantaged children, deserving of love.
But what of the vile Diclonious?
The terrifying monsters who were born to kill, without knowing the love of a mother or father?
Is this race meant to be unloved and tormented, by nature itself?
Have they no purpose in this life, other than to hunt and execute those who may stand in their way?
The helpless Diclonious children are born into this world, only to be lethalized a few hours later.
They will never understand what it means to live, and they don't understand what it means to die, either.
The Diclonious blood that runs through the very veins of these children which is the cause of their fate;
It is the very blood which grants them life.
It is the very blood which grants them death...
But, what of the blood which lies in between these great eternal boundaries?
The young surgeon enters the dark and secluded waiting room and hesitates eye contact with either of the child's parents. He closes the door behind him, and intentionally sets his brown clipboard forcefully on his desk in the corner of the room. He lets out a couple fake coughs, and washes his hands two times each. He runs a hand through his medium-length, brown hair, and pushes his stylish black glasses back up the bridge of his nose with his fingers. He turns around, to face the opposing side of the room.
Looking over to the bed on the left, he sees the mother of the newborn child, resting peacefully. Her husband is right alongside her, sitting in one of the uncomfortable and overly-firm patient chairs, as he holds her left hand in his own.
They must be cold, the doctor distracts himself, I'd better close the window for them.
The doctor paces to the other side of the room, walking past the two parents. He has a little trouble closing the window, so the father gets up from his seat and effortlessly shuts it for him. Once the father sits back down in his chair, the doctor decides to go and break the news. He'll just walk over to the chair, look both of the parents directly in the eyes, and--
"Hello?" A woman's voice weakly calls. "Doctor Larr... Right?" She looks like she is expecting a 'yes' or 'no' answer as confirmation.
Doctor Larr is caught by surprise. He turns around to see the new mother sitting up in her bed, eyes wide with wonder. She gives a faint smile and a weak, little wave to him.
"Uh, yes. That's right." He confirmed, nodding. He scratched the back of his head as he spoke.
The mother opened her mouth to speak again. "When can she go home?" the mother ambushed the surgeon with questions, right off the bat. "I mean...My daughter?"
Doctor Brendan Larr takes a deep breath, and stares the brown-haired mother directly in the eye, as he does so. She stares directly back into his, and Doctor Larr feels his stomach turn inside-out within him. It was the worst feeling in the world. What sad, horrible irony was the situation that he was faced in. The mother had no idea what raged through the doctors mind right now. Maybe he could get someone else to explain it to her, after all... It would be easier for him to do so. But...
No.
Now was the time. She had the right to know about her daughter's condition. But...
Her eyes are so hopeful and concerned. She's just given natural birth to her first child. How can he destroy her life's greatest happiness now? The father, too...
His eyes are so deprived and desperate. He's gotten no sleep for the past few days. Surely, he'd be the type of person to throw an outrage when the news is to be broken?
"Well," the doctor began, eyes shifting around the room, "You see..."
When the doctor doesn't respond immediately after that, the father tightens his hands' grip on his wife's hand. Something wasn't right. He could tell by the way the Doctor went around the room, doing useless things earlier. He is ready to comfort her for the worst yet to come, although he himself does not know whether he will be able to handle the answer, himself...
The regretful doctor resumes his speaking.
"She is very healthy. Her breathing is very excellent, and she is as strong as any child I've seen here in years. In fact, she scored a 'ten' on almost all of the tests we've given her to judge her health."
The parents are very enthused. "Honey, did you hear that?! It's wonderful--!!" The mother is enlightened. Finally some good news to her ears.
Her husband plants a simple kiss on her cheek. "We're very lucky, darling. Thank you, doctor. You had me a little worried ther--"
"However..." The doctor interrupts, the smile on his face fading, "Despite her good health..."
The parents slightly lean their heads forward, unaware of what may be the problem.
She was healthy, right?
The doctor feels his eyes well up slightly, and he has to force the next words out. "...She will not be going home."
The mother's eyes had widened in great fear. Her jaw nearly fell, and she fell backwards onto the bed in exhaustion. The father squeezed her hands to comfort her, but his face also drew the similar expression of his wife's. The hospital almost never kept an infant unless there was something wrong with it. The mother shakes her head, over and over on the pillow. She won't believe a word of it. Not a single one. Surely, this doctor was lying!
"No, no... She...won't being going home soon...?" She frowned greatly. "Then... When will she be able to come home...?" the mother asked, crestfallen.
The parents wanted their daughter home as soon as possible; they already had a nice room gathered up at their house. Pink crib, pink clothes, pink bedroom wall... Everything. Some long-distance relatives sent in baby gifts such as pacifiers, bibs, spoons, dolls... The baby was spoiled before she was even born, the lucky little thing.
The doctor had to clear a non-existent lump in his throat as he fishes for the cruel, lost words in his mind.
Finally, he catches a hold of the only thing that he has left to say.
"She will not being going home. Not today, not next week, not the week after that... I'm sorry. She--" The doctor is interrupted by the smashing of a fist against a desk. The father arises from his chair, aggravated. His look is not the least bit pleased, his eyes filled with rage and fury.
"Tell, me again, doctor; what is it then, if my daughter is perfectly beautiful and healthy, that is preventing me and my wife from seeing our newborn daughter on her first day alive!? We haven't even been able to see her face! Unless you bring our daughter to this very room right now, I will have to demand immediately to speak to a higher authority this instant!"
The father had his fists in an aggressive state by his sides. His face was turning red with anger. The doctor took a couple steps back, sweat rolling down his forehead.
"Uh-- Hey... It's not my fault, it was an order that--"
"Let me see my child." he demands in a quiet but aggravated voice. He is trying to keep his calm. Doctor Larr is rather glad that he was, as he knew that if he hadn't had been calm right now, he probably would be starting a fist fight, right here, right now.
The doctor, with no other option in question, sighs as he beckons the crestfallen couple to the door. The angry father strides over to the stretcher that his wife has been recovering on since the pregnancy's final stages. "Look, dear... We're going to go see Charlotte." He gently says in his wife's ear.
"Charlotte?" The doctor asks, trying to take the father's mind off of his anger, "Is that the name you picked for her? It's beautif--"
"Yes, it is. Now, where is she?" The father doesn't seem to have calmed his defenses down to Doctor Larr in the slightest.
"Uh... Right this way..." The doctor holds the door open enough for the man to push the stretcher through. Once the couple exits through the door, Doctor Larr follows after them, shutting the door behind him.
The old, metal, hospital stretcher has a whining and creaky wheel, and that very wheel is the only noise audible when they are walking down the hall, besides the father's angry footsteps. They are loud and filled with hatred, themselves.
Threatening footsteps.
No one dares to speak. Not a single word.
Everyone's eyes are focused on the path before them as they walk the hallway that seems to be of eternity.
They walk past all the infants who had been endeared with loving names. On each child's head, there are caps. Blue hats, pink hats, striped hats, white hats. Teddy bears, stuffed toys and other welcoming gifts are placed on either side of the children; no doubt that they were from their new loving friends and family. The family couldn't wait until they could spoil their daughter, even more lovingly than these babies that lie asleep here...
The three nervously continue and make their way towards a rusty metal door in the back. It looks like it is never opened very often, as dust traces the knob. A couple fingerprints lay scattered in the dust. They looked rather fresh, too.
The doctor reaches out his and opens the metal-crafted door hesitantly, holding the door open for the couple to enter before walking in himself. The door harshly shuts behind him, making a large echo throughout the halls. His eyes then gaze around this room of which he has only seen once before, and by accident, at that.
The small room is dark, cold, and secluded, very much to the contrast of the nursery room from where they just came. The tiniest of whispers would be echoed in this room with ten times the sound potential. The floor was a little dusty, and it was obvious that this room was rarely ever used. Cobwebs hung from the ceiling's corners.
The sound of an object being dropped suddenly averted the attention of the doctor and the parents to a figure hidden slightly by musty shadows. A nurse is in the back corner of the room, surrounded by tables stacked with test tubes and syringes. She has shoulder length black hair, cut in a bob. Then again, it could be brown; it was hard to tell in this lighting. The name-tag above her right-breast pocket read her name, "Inori".
Inori is holding a baby in her right arm, whom was no older than a couple of hours. It was silently staring back into the nurse's eyes, with all content. The baby remains silent, as the nurse, Inori, is cleaning her arm off with a white wash-rag. She squirms a bit in the nurse's arms, but she is healthy. She has a dirty, cloth blanket over her chest and most of her head.
The father abruptly pushes the Doctor Larr out of his path and makes his way to the nurse. He stands in front of the nurse, hands held out, expecting the nurse to give him the baby. The nurse looks back to the doctor for some sort of approval, to which the doctor solemnly nods his head once after regaining his posture.
The female nurse gently hands the baby, bundled up in the old blanket, to the father's caring arms. The little infant girl begins to fuss, to which the father hushes her down with a slight "Shhhh..." while cradling her softly. "You're okay, you're okay. Daddy's got you, now, Charlotte." The baby doesn't seem to care much, but she does settle down a little.
"Let me see her..." the mother silently whispers to her fiancé from the bed. The father slowly makes his way to the mother, gently rocking the girl as not to disturb her and throw her into another fit. He slightly bends his knees, as to allow the mother to reach her newborn daughter.
Slowly, the mother reaches her frail and weak hand slightly, and lifts the dirty blanket out from its original position, revealing her daughter's facial features.
For a minute, the couple think they have lost their color detection. The father closes his eyes and reopens them, in the thought that he may be tired from staying up all night at the hospital. Was he imagining things? The father looks to his wife, and cocks his head to the side. He laughs a little, and so does she. They aren't sure why, but they found it funny. Their smiles immediately fade into widened eyes and a horrified expression. The parents stare at their child, soaking in her appearance;
Tufts of red silky hair, in the vibrant color of crimson. Ruby red eyes, wide and alert to the world around her; not missing a single thing. Two small but clearly visible horns, deriving from her skull itself; Yes, that was right... Two small, little horns...
Horns.
The mother gasps slightly and reaches her hand over the baby's horns. She lightly tugs at one, checking to make sure that it wasn't just a joke that she clearly wasn't in on. Her hand ran over the bones, examining her child's defect. A single tear falls down her face, and she begins to weep.
They were solid as stone; cold as ice.
Attached firmly to the baby's head.
The mother and father both stared speechless into those scarlet eyes and came to the realization...
Their beloved daughter was a Diclonious.
Inori, the nurse, is silent, but she turns around and breaks the impression. "We must lethalize her right away, if we wish to regard mankind's own well-being." the nurse finally said, in a grave manner. She had been crying, evidence lying in her puffy red face and soaked shirt sleeve. As a nurse, it pained Inori to know that a child would die, no matter what the race or background.
"No... No!! You can't--!! Not to my child! She will not do any harm, none at all!! I promise you!" the mother breaks down into hysterics, clawing at her own arms, despite the fact that she was already weakened severely from the childbirth. The father does not stop her, as he holds the baby to him closely, still rocking her. He wants to cherish every moment he can spend with this child. He looks into her eyes, and they look up at him.
The mother grabs his arm to bring the baby to her once more, and they all stand there as a family, for the only hour that they will all be together. The parents both love their child, despite her differences. For nine months, this baby lived with them, even if they couldn't see her face.
This Diclonious infant, born from the womb of a human, would be killed on the spot, regardless of her heritage.
She did not know what life was, nor death.
Her existence is not known to her own being, and she knows not that her existence will be taken from her.
She does not know the difference between right or wrong, justice and crime.
And yet, she is to die within the next hour for a crime that she did might someday commit.
It wasn't a certainty.
It was a guess and a judgment based on past events.
It was prejudiced and decided long ago.
There was no room for the race to prove themselves otherwise.
The surgeon, feeling the utmost sympathy for this couple, feels the world spin around him. This child did nothing but simply be born; is there something that is so wrong with that? Did it truly deserve to be stung by the lethal injection that lie on the table, just feet away from where the baby lie now? The young Doctor Larr wants to help. He does not want this girl to die in spite of the Diclonious race. Human or not, it was a newborn.
It was too soon for it to encounter death just yet.
Too soon.
"You could..." he begins nervously. He cuts off his sentence, as he realizes how stupid his idea was.
What he was about to suggest would get him fired and possibly executed if he was discovered.
The father and mother look up, hope in their eyes. Their tears are clearly visible, and reflect off of what little light the room had to offer.
Inori, standing in the corner of the room, also stares at Doctor Larr with great curiosity and wonder, waiting for his next words.
Could something be done to spare this child's life?
...There must have been something the doctor could do.
The doctor does not care for himself now.
Brendan Larr had lived well; Growing up with a wealthy upbringing in America, and moving to Japan at a young age... Surrounded by many successful older siblings... Becoming Valedictorian in High School... Graduating from the greatest College wealth and smarts could buy...
He even made it this far, becoming a doctor.
Yes, he had life going for him very well.
He knew what life was.
But this baby didn't.
She doesn't have the slightest clue.
That is why now, Doctor Larr is willing to risk it all.
He wants to save the fetal Diclonius.
He clears his throat and looks the parents directly in the eyes, and then down to the little baby, Charlotte.
"You could raise her in secrecy." Brendan Larr finally spurts out. "I could also...secretly visit sometime, to give her check-ups and possibly medicine." He kicks at the ground lightly with his foot, and places his hands in his back pocket. He has a nervous feeling in his stomach... And then, suddenly, he feels a sharp stinging pain to his cheek, too. A loud noise fills and echoes within the room.
There before his sight, Inori stood in front of him, her hand on Hiss cheek. She had slapped him. "You can't... You can't! You'll get caught for sure! And... It's against the law! Not only that... But we'll both be fired... perhaps even executed if you're discovered! I worked so hard to get this far, and now you --"
"The hospital does not know of this child's condition as a Diclonius, as of yet." The doctor pushes aside the nurse. "We could say that she has been stillborn."
The nurse doesn't like this idea, but she takes a deep breath before walking towards the door. "Do what you want. Just don't drag me in to this with you."
"Thanks, Inori..." Brendan says to the nurse as she strides out the room, shutting the door with a quickness behind her.
Back to the parents, the father shifts his head slowly to his wife, to meet her eyes.
They share a glance for a good minute or so before the father finds his voice to speak again.
"She's right. There is no way we can ask that of you. You would get fired without a doubt. Or worse, killed, even.." he points out. He cares for his daughter, but two human, and Diclonius, lives were at stake now. The doctor tightens his grasp on his white jacket's pockets.
"...That's a risk I'm going to have to take, if only you would accept..." the doctor hesitantly vows. He is willing to make the sacrifice to save her. No child deserves an unfair death like this. She deserves the best life she can get.
The mother desperately looks up from her precious child into the father's eyes. The mother seems to be desperate to keep this baby alive.
Their child had a chance to live. A life of secrecy; a life of solitude from other children. The parents would have to raise her all by themselves, with some help from this doctor, and teach her, as well. No one could ever know that she exists. No one could ever befriend her and keep her company but themselves. Her relatives will never get to meet her, as this would have to be top-secret. Classified.
The father then cries out in agony. "Damn it!!" He breathes heavily, pounds his free hand fist against the wall, and looks at the ground blankly. He began losing control and questioned his inner-most thoughts aloud. "What if...What if, she ends up like the other Diclonius?" he asks his wife. The mother turns her face away, not wanting to think about that horrid thought right now.
The image of the infamous Diclonius named 'Lucy' creeped into her mind. The story was a sad one, that she had heard one too many times.
The father continued to question his thoughts. He loved his daughter, but he also had to think upon the behalf of society and humanity. He turned his gaze turned to his daughter.
Would it be best just to end her life now? Would a death now be better than a life of no contact or human interaction? Is she better off dead than alive?
The father sifts through the consequences in his mind.
If he allowed their daughter to be lethalized, there were so many things that she would miss out on. But then again... They could always have another child. No! Out of the question! A child cannot be replaced; a child is a child, nothing more, nothing less. But that does not mean it can be replaced a second time by a child of a more superior condition! Of course it couldn't...
It is still your child.
The father sighs, and stares into the distance for a while. His thoughts are interrupted by his wife's voice.
"Lilith." she calmly states. She is tired from the overwhelming incidents today.
"...Lilith...?" the husband parrots to himself.
"Her name. It will be Lilith." she states in a monotonous voice, staring at the ceiling, as if she is recalling something.
"But why Lilith, dear? I thought we had agreed on Charlotte... Isn't that a beautiful name? ...Dear?"
"...Yes. I'm aware... But, according to mythology... Lilith was Adam's first wife. But they constantly fought. Lilith believed that she was to be treated with equality, because she came from the same dust as he did." The mother took a moment as she was lost deep in thought. "...It reminds me of humans, and how they treat the Diclonius... Anyways, Lilith retreated from the garden, to be chased by three angels... By then, Adam had created Eve with his rib. Eve did not claim equality, and therefore, there was no room for Lilith in his heart. But ever since, Lilith travels around the world, howling her hatred of mankind through the night, pledging vengeance from treatment she had received from Adam... Or in this case, humans..."
"But that name," the father says with a concerned look on his face, "It hints that she is no better than the other Diclonius before her." He shakes his head as to say, 'no', as he doesn't want to consider such a name with a grim meaning.
"But, it fits her for the moment," the mother says with a twinkle in her eyes, "Her name will be a constant reminder for her of what she is to stray away from in the first place. Isn't that what those other Diclonius seek? Greater representation and superiority? That's why the humans view them as such horrid beings! Humans just can't accept competition for superiority. So, if she has such a name to look down upon, she can prove it wrong."
"Yes, but--"
"And one day, she can leave behind her name and her past... She will finally become accepted as she deserves to be. When she becomes accepted by society, she can even change her name to what she wants it to be." the mother ends her sentence, and looks up to her future husband in the eye. After a few seconds, the father is somewhat at a peace. The mother, exhausted, collapses her head onto her pillow with a thud.
"Alright..." the father put his hand on his daughter, Lilith, and gently brushes his fingers against her cheek. Together with his wife and the help of this doctor, they were to make Lilith's future the best as it could be, with the harsh and unfair circumstances that life has dealt them to behold. "You will grow up and accomplish so many great things, Lilith...It's just a matter of time, now..."
Lilith wouldn't be like other Diclonius. She would be an entirely new creature who could help make the world a better place for Diclonius and humans alike... If she so dedicated her life to watching every step she took. For every step she would take, someone will be watching; taking note of every action. No matter how many steps she takes, she still will not be able to look back to the Diclonius behind her, lest she lose her balance and fall over. The parents look down upon their beloved daughter, and instantly know it in their hearts that Lilith will be the first of many to pave the path for a kinder world, with kinder Diclonius. She must lead the way.
After all, it's like they say;
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.