Disclaimer: I don't own anything that is HP or the song.
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Tom Riddle please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Tom Riddle please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here
Y'all act like ya never seen a dark wizard before
Jaws all on the floor like Grindewald just burst in the door
And started killing them fast worse than before
They first were scared, throwin' spells everywhere
It's the return of the...
"Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he just didn't curse who I think he did, did he?"
And Cornelius Fudge said...
Nothing you idiots! Fudge's dead, he's locked in my basement!
Everyone else hates Voldemort
"Oh Tom Riddle, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his wand and ooh
Calling him You-Know-Who, yeah, but he's so cute though"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But the worse is what's going on in your parents' bedroom
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for Severus Snape to make a potion with a dead moose
"My wand is on your lips, my wand is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss"
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what avada kedavra is
Of course they gonna know what an unforgivable curse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Hogwarts don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals"
Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can eat dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a boggart and a man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the anecdote
Win away your panty-hoes, sing the chorus and it goes
I'm Tom Riddle, yes I'm the real Riddle
All you other Tom Riddles are just imitating
So won't the real Tom Riddle please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up
Cuz I'm Tom Riddle, yes I'm the real Riddle
All you other Tom Riddles are just imitating
So won't the real Tom Riddle please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up
McGonagal don't gotta curse in her class to transfigure
Well I do so "Curse her and curse you too!
You think I give a darn about the money?
Half of you wizards can't even stomach me let alone stop me
"But Tom, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could be like Pettigrew to get me here
So you can sit me here next to Trelawny
Old Proffessor Flitwick better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to the Weasly twins
And hear them argue over what class they got detentions in
You little snitch, put me in detention
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's likes to kill, hee-hee"
I should download her audio on MP3 and show the whole world
how you gave me an A in defence against the dark arts
I'm sick of you happy people
All you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who kill like me; who just like to curse people like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
I'm Tom Riddle, yes I'm the real Riddle
All you other Tom Riddles are just imitating
So won't the real Tom Riddle please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up
I'm like a head trip to listen to cuz I'm only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the guts to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be frost or sugar coated at all
I just get on a mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it
I just cursed better than 90 percent of you wizards out there
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like house elves
It's funny cuz at the rate I'm going when I'm 30
I'll be the only person in the made more than 50 hurting
Killing when I'm angry
Said I'm cursin' but this whole bag of Every Flavor Beans isn't working
And every single person is a Tom Riddle lurking
He could be working at The Leaky Cauldron spitting on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming "I don't give a charm!"
With his windows down and the system up
So, will the real Riddle please stand up?
And put one of those wands on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta ya mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
I'm Tom Riddle, yes I'm the real Riddle
All you other Tom Riddles are just imitating
So won't the real Tom Riddle please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up
Cuz I'm Tom Riddle, yes I'm the real Riddle
All you other Tom Riddles are just imitating
So won't the real Tom Riddle please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Let's all stand up
May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Tom Riddle please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Tom Riddle please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here
Y'all act like ya never seen a dark wizard before
Jaws all on the floor like Grindewald just burst in the door
And started killing them fast worse than before
They first were scared, throwin' spells everywhere
It's the return of the...
"Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he just didn't curse who I think he did, did he?"
And Cornelius Fudge said...
Nothing you idiots! Fudge's dead, he's locked in my basement!
Everyone else hates Voldemort
"Oh Tom Riddle, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his wand and ooh
Calling him You-Know-Who, yeah, but he's so cute though"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But the worse is what's going on in your parents' bedroom
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for Severus Snape to make a potion with a dead moose
"My wand is on your lips, my wand is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss"
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what avada kedavra is
Of course they gonna know what an unforgivable curse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Hogwarts don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals"
Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can eat dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a boggart and a man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the anecdote
Win away your panty-hoes, sing the chorus and it goes
I'm Tom Riddle, yes I'm the real Riddle
All you other Tom Riddles are just imitating
So won't the real Tom Riddle please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up
Cuz I'm Tom Riddle, yes I'm the real Riddle
All you other Tom Riddles are just imitating
So won't the real Tom Riddle please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up
McGonagal don't gotta curse in her class to transfigure
Well I do so "Curse her and curse you too!
You think I give a darn about the money?
Half of you wizards can't even stomach me let alone stop me
"But Tom, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could be like Pettigrew to get me here
So you can sit me here next to Trelawny
Old Proffessor Flitwick better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to the Weasly twins
And hear them argue over what class they got detentions in
You little snitch, put me in detention
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's likes to kill, hee-hee"
I should download her audio on MP3 and show the whole world
how you gave me an A in defence against the dark arts
I'm sick of you happy people
All you do is annoy me so I have been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who kill like me; who just like to curse people like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
I'm Tom Riddle, yes I'm the real Riddle
All you other Tom Riddles are just imitating
So won't the real Tom Riddle please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up
I'm like a head trip to listen to cuz I'm only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the guts to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be frost or sugar coated at all
I just get on a mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it
I just cursed better than 90 percent of you wizards out there
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like house elves
It's funny cuz at the rate I'm going when I'm 30
I'll be the only person in the made more than 50 hurting
Killing when I'm angry
Said I'm cursin' but this whole bag of Every Flavor Beans isn't working
And every single person is a Tom Riddle lurking
He could be working at The Leaky Cauldron spitting on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming "I don't give a charm!"
With his windows down and the system up
So, will the real Riddle please stand up?
And put one of those wands on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta ya mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
I'm Tom Riddle, yes I'm the real Riddle
All you other Tom Riddles are just imitating
So won't the real Tom Riddle please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up
Cuz I'm Tom Riddle, yes I'm the real Riddle
All you other Tom Riddles are just imitating
So won't the real Tom Riddle please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Let's all stand up