The Birds and the Bonobos

"Dad? You got a few minutes?"

"For you, yes, always," Castle said. One of his characters wasn't jelling right now and he would benefit from a break. It was late afternoon and the sun was slanting into his office; Alexis sat carefully into the overstuffed chair and he took the one opposite, warily. "It's always bad when you don't throw yourself into that chair, what's up?"

She was avoiding his gaze and he felt more concerned. "Dad, I think it's time we had a father-daughter talk. About sex."

"Am I going to have to kill someone?"

"DAD!" Alexis, always at a disadvantage at times like this, turned as red as her hair. "No. Good grief. Some things came up, oh God, in biology class?"

"Something new? I thought you had a good grasp--we're even--of the mechanics by now?"

"Since I was about five, yeah."

"A pregnant baby-sitter is a learning opportunity. So?"

"We're learning about pair-bonding and one of my friends --" Castle braced himself --"no, really Dad, a BOY, a couple years ahead of me. He's really popular--"

"And you like him?"

"Not that way, no. Umm. Really popular. Like, a different girl every couple of weeks."

"Well, that's what high school's for, isn't it?"

"Not exactly... She looked defiantly at him. "He's sleeping with all of them. It's tacky. I didn't know there were that many whores in the twelfth grade."

"Hey, that's a little rough, isn't it?"

"Maybe. But he's not serious about any of them. They can't be serious about him, either, right? It's not like it's a secret he, ah, loves them and leaves them. Or they leave him, I mean, he's really cute and all but nobody has any ideas he's going to settle down with them. And considering how much drama people can stir up nobody seems to be getting too badly hurt."

"They could get pregnant."

"I'm the only girl I know who's not on the pill."

"WHAT?"

"Well, a lot of people are."

"And there are things that last longer than pregnancy."

"You helped get the free condoms made available in the guidance office."

Castle flushed. "I thought what went on in the PTA stayed in the PTA. Does anybody actually use them?"

"I don't know, myself --"

"Oh, thank you, thank you--"

"But I asked the guidance counselor and she said they were running out the door. Prom week."

"I guess they can't name the baby they didn't have after me ... . So except that he doesn't have any time to study for his exams and he'll stunt his growth nothing too bad is happening?"

"Is anything bad happening?" Alexis asked. "We were learning animals use sex and courtship to form pair bonds."

Castle interrupted. "Has your class studied bonobos? 'Pigmy chimpanzees?' "

"The teacher got kind of uptight when somebody mentioned them."

"I'll send you a link. Sorry, you were saying?"

"If he's not forming pair bonds is he ever going to, I don't know, it sounds old-fashioned -- fall in love?"

"The idea of falling in love is not old-fashioned. Thinking it's the end, not the beginning, is, but people really do fall in love. Sometimes, anyway. I imagine he's the most envied man on campus."

"Does that make it okay? Would it be okay if it were me?"

"Well, you did just call the twelfth grade whores. Nobody thinks it's the same for women. Which isn't fair, but probably something to do with biology too. Or patriarchy."

"Is it too much for someone like me to want a boyfriend who wouldn't sleep around?"

"Certainly not while he's going out with you!"

"What about while I'm wondering if I want him to go out with me?"

"I can't tell you men will live up to your expectations, or women either. Even if you keep them low. But I don't think it's too much to want someone who isn't a man-slut either. I don't think pair-bonding works exactly the same way in people as it does in other animals. If you think sex is an important thing it's important your partner agrees with you."

"Well, that makes sense," said Alexis. "So you and Mom don't think it's important?"

"WHAT?"

"You're divorced. And if you think I didn't know where she was sleeping, think again." Alexis's voice was perfectly level but Castle knew his daughter well enough to hear a strain in it.

"Oh, Alexis, I'm sorry."

"What for? Normal kids who are hoping their parents will get back together would be delighted."

"You wouldn't be delighted?" Castle asked, knowing the answer reasonably well.

"If I were five again I would be fine with it, but --"

"You don't have to say anything disloyal, don't worry."

"Usually kids don't tell their parents what to do and I know it's not really my business, but she is my mother and you are my father and I guess I think sometimes the way your relationship is going is my business. At least somewhat."

"Well, you also live here."

"So does your mom. I hope she's not giving you advice too."

"No more than usual." Castle didn't add, 'but I am more concerned with what you think than anything she says,' because he liked the idea of respecting one's elders. One tried.

"I just think ... you're divorced. You don't want her to move back in. I don't want her to either, in fact California is a perfectly fine distance away. And if sex is pair-bonding, even a little--well, Dad, it's certainly confusing."

Castle gave it some thought. "Maybe sometimes it's about remembering what was good?"

"How is she supposed to fall in love with anybody else?"

Your mother is, has always been, so passionately involved with herself there wouldn't be room anyway. No, you don't say that about a kid's mother. "So you think, for her sake, we should put a more permanent chill on?"

Alexis looked out the window. "Maybe not just for her sake."

Castle felt a strangled squawk trying to come out of his throat. "You don't mean you, either?" he asked when he could speak.

"Maybe not."

"That's kind of sweet of you," he said, when it was obvious she was not going to expand any.

"You're not that old."

"Thank you so much. I thought you were supposed to be just as grossed out by the idea of your parents falling in love as about them having sex."

"You could do better than my mother, that's all. We won't talk about Gina."

"Thank you."

"It's all right if you want to go out with someone more than once, too, even if I meet her. I won't necessarily get attached and go crazy if you break up later."

"If most kids gave their parents permission to fall in love it would be --"

"Really dumb," supplied his daughter.

"--But you're not most kids, so I think I am touched."

"I am going to college in three years, Dad."

"You don't have to worry --"

"Don't all kids want to see their parents happily settled down? Besides --" Alexis was able to look him in the face again.

"What?" Castle asked, seeing her twinkle at him. The heavy stuff was over.

"Dad, my clock is ticking. I want a little brother or sister to practice on."

"It's too early to drink, isn't it?"

"Maybe we need a little talk about alcohol abuse."