Chapter 1

My name is Craig Dean. I'm 18 years old and I go to Hollyoaks High School. I really should have graduated but I had to retake the final year. When I returned to Hollyoaks I met my best mate, John Paul McQueen. I was rude to him and he didn't seem offended which took me by surprise. He even pulled the fire alarm to help me get away from Sonny. Then he walked off and I followed. Ever since that day, we have been inseparable: best mates. I don't know what it is but there's this strange attraction that makes me just want to be near John Paul. Wait, attraction sounds too much as if I have a crush on him. And I don't. Do I?

No, I definitely don't have feelings for John Paul. He's the greatest friend that I have ever had, could ever ask for. That's it. I mean he's a guy and I'm not gay. I'm not. I have a beautiful girlfriend named Sarah and he has a girlfriend named Hannah. We like girls. But I do remember the moment when I started to have doubts, to start to feel something more for John Paul.

I hate first dates. They are absolutely horrifying. I put on my suit and adjusted my tie. My mum sprayed cologne all over me and I coughed in response.

"Come on Craig, we need you to smell lovely for Sarah. She's a fantastic girl, love."

"Mum, I don't want her to faint from the fumes."

"Ok, I see your point," she said as she coughed as well and exited my room. I looked at my reflection when I heard my phone vibrate. I checked it and smiled. It was from John Paul and read 'Hey! Good luck tonight mate!' He was hoping that things would work out between me and Sarah because he wanted to see me happy. He's such a good friend. Maybe if Sarah becomes my girlfriend, I can hook him up with Hannah, her best friend. I've noticed that she might have a thing for John Paul. I texted him back a thank you and headed out the door to pick up Sarah.

"Hi," she said. She was wearing a striking red dress that clung to her thin frame. Her hair was pulled into a loose bun with small brown stands grazing her cheeks and neck. Her makeup was a little heavy but it complimented her dress. Sarah Barnes was breathtaking. Literally, I couldn't breathe. "Craig? Are you alright?" She looked concerned.

"Hi," I muttered. Stupid Craig. We gave each other an awkward hug.

"You smell good," she told me.

"So do you. Um, shall we go?"

"Yeah. Where to?"

"I've booked us a table at Il Gnosh."

"Oh."

"If that's alright." I was getting worried.

"Yeah, sounds perfect." I smiled and so did she. God, I would love for her to be my girlfriend. I would get tons of jealous looks form all the guys in Hollyoaks.

We were seated on the new outside patio at Il Gnosh eating pasta. It was so good that I kept shoveling it into my mouth. We were talking about absolute nonsense because when we got started on a subject somehow we would just kept getting stuck in these random awkward pauses. It was as if we couldn't remember what we were talking about. I just kept staring at her face. Her eyes were beautiful. She could definitely be a model. Me, Crag Dean, and his model girlfriend. Her phone vibrated and she checked her text message. It was from Amy, her sister. Thank goodness. She needed to call Amy so she went to the bathroom. Yes! I needed time to think to figure out what to say next. I really liked her, right? Then why couldn't I figure out what to say next. Hmm, maybe I could talk about school. Wait, that's all we've been talking about. How about movies? Yeah, good one Craig Dean. That topic could get a girl talking forever. I twirled some pasta on my fork when I noticed a familiar figure walking down the street nearby. It was John Paul.

He was walking slowly and smiling. I've never seen him so happy and so alive. I wanted to shout his name but I thought he wouldn't be able to hear me and it wasn't very polite to do in a fancy restaurant. I was in awe. He was in his own little world and a text message forced him to look down and blush, sending a deep red tint to his cheeks. God, I never noticed how light his skin was and how blonde his hair was. He began walking again when he was tapped on the shoulder by someone. I stood up in my seat to get a better look. I needed to see what was making him so happy.

It was Hannah. He pulled her into a hug and she leaned her face up and kissed him on the lips. It was soft and innocent but John Paul pulled her into it more and he ran his hand down her back. My mouth fell open and I leaned against the back of my chair for safety in fear that I would fall over. There was an emotion that I haven't felt in a long time raging through me. It was envy. I wasn't sure what was going on but I knew I didn't like it. Somehow I wanted nothing more than to pull her away from John Paul. But why would I want that? They ended their kiss and she slid her hand into his and they walked in the direction of his house. I wanted to run after them. To stop them. What was wrong with me? I should be happy for him. He is happy so I should be too. But I wasn't.

Sarah returned to the table and apologized for leaving. I mumbled something in response but my mind was elsewhere. I was wondering what John Paul and Hannah were doing. I guess they're dating now. Sarah kept rambling on about nothing important and I just nodded and tried to look interested. I wanted the date to end so I could see John Paul.

When we were done, I walked her home. She held my hand and it was nice. Yet, somehow I thought it would be more or that I would feel more. We arrived at her door and she expected a kiss. I leaned in, hoping that my breath wasn't that bad, and gave her a soft peck. I wanted to make sure that she knew that I wasn't rushing her. It was actually quite good. Her lips were soft and her cheeks warm. She leaned back and wished me a goodnight and I did the same. When I got home, I took off my tie and sat on my bed. What do I do now? My mind kept creeping to the moment at the restaurant when I saw my best mate. I kept picturing his smiling face and it made me smile. Ugh, stop that! What was going on? What was wrong with me? I got the girl and I got the kiss. That should be enough. I couldn't suppress my urges anymore and got out my cell phone. I sent a message to John Paul, asking what he was up to and said that we could hang out if he was free. I waited patiently for a response. I waited ten minutes. Ugh, why was this taking so long. I started pacing my room. When my cell vibrated, I lunged at my bed. Flipping open the front, I smiled with relief at the name. John Paul.