Do They Have Boarding Schools in Antartica?

Carlisle carried his briefcase to the bedroom and changed his clothes

before locating Esme in the kitchen on the computer.

He glanced at the webpage on the screen as he leaned down to kiss her.

"Who are we threatening to send to boarding school this time?"

"What is it about summer vacation?" Esme asked, exasperated.

Carlisle sat on the bar stool next to Esme and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Tell me what happened."

Esme told Carlisle about Jasper's plan, her floors, and the mud from Emmett's Jeep.

"But the highlight of my day was listening to Emmett and Jasper prove to each other

who has the biggest penis."

Carlisle sat straight up. "They did what?"

"In case you're wondering, it's Jasper."

Carlisle stood up. "Where are they now?"

"Emmett is out buying me a new measuring tape… after he burns the one I loaned to him.

I don't know where Jasper went. He was mortified when he found out I heard

them…you know." Esme made the gesture with her hand. Carlisle's eyes widened.

They heard Emmett's Jeep pulling into the garage.

Carlisle sped outside and stood in front of Emmett's path. "Explain yourself."

"We didn't know she could hear us," Emmett said. A lame excuse, but it was better than

the truth. And Carlisle didn't look like he was in the mood to hear the truth.

"You'll have to do better than that. You know Esme can hear everything, everything,

that goes on in that house."

"Yeah, we know that, but we kinda forgot about her… but only for a minute," Emmett added

quickly when he saw the angry set to Carlisle's jaw. "We were caught up in the spirit of competition."

"So I heard." Carlisle gave Emmett a look of disgust. "What happened to friendly competitions like

arm wrestling, foot races, board games, video games…don't you own all the newest video systems and games?"

"You know how it is," Emmett said in a low voice, "when Alice told me—"

"Alice was involved in this?" The look on Carlisle's face was incredulous.

"She was the one who suggested I ask Jasper...," Emmett shrugged,"… it was a domino effect after that."

Carlisle said, "I want you to apologize to Esme and—"

"Sorry, Esme!"

Carlisle sighed. "Like a gentleman."

Emmett wrinkled his brow.

"Walk in the house, stand in front of her, and apologize for your lewd behavior."

"Should I apologize for messing up her floors, too?

That one wasn't really my fault, though—it was Jasper's idea to run the water hose down my gullet…

he should have thought that one through—"

"Emmett, please," Carlisle interrupted, holding up his hand.

Emmett saw Esme sitting at the kitchen island, her fingers flying along and across the computer keyboard.

He walked up behind her, wrapped his massive arms around her tiny frame and squeezed her,

lifting her slightly from the stool in the process. "Sorry Jasper and I embarrassed you."

"Emmett, you're squishing me," Esme said.

Emmett let go and backed off. "Am I forgiven?"

Esme glanced over her shoulder at him. "I'll think about it."

Emmett stepped closer and kissed her on the cheek. His gaze fell on the computer screen.

"Are you and Carlisle planning a trip to Antartica?"

Esme smiled. "Maybe."

"Cool. I'm going to go shoot some zombies."

Emmett reached into his front pocket and laid a small plastic package on the kitchen island.

"I almost forgot…here's your new measuring tape."

He left the kitchen and made his way to the family room and the games systems.

Esme quickly located the link she had found earlier: an application for a student research assistant in Antartica.

A/N: I'm tempted to end this story with this scene b/c nothing else is coming to me. If anyone has any suggestions for additional scenes, I'm willing to try to write them.