Sorry that it's been a while since I posted. Real life sometimes can be a bit much to handle.
This little tidbit has been in my mind for quite a while, so I finally got the plot-bunnies to sit down and finish it proper-like. Hope you enjoy!
Timeline: September after Volume 7
Mature themes, language. Dee and Ryo, alone at last ....
Would I be gay?
It was one of the rare times that they both had two days off in a row, together, alone. There were no demanding cases that required their immediate attention. Bikky was away at a weekend basketball training camp with the rest of the school's basketball team. Summer was winding down, school had started a few weeks ago. The days were warm but nowhere near the unbearable heat that had scorched most of the summer.
Last night they had gone out to dinner as a celebration of this rare occasion, but tonight it was a personal dinner for two at home. They had spent the morning visiting with the children at the orphanage and most of the afternoon with Mother Lane, doing chores that were too much for her to do, just catching up with her in general. It had been over a month since they had spent any lengthy time with her, and they enjoyed it every bit as much as she did.
They had both helped with dinner, nothing extravagant, just burgers and beer, but it was one of the most intimate meals they'd had in a long time. The stereo provided nondescript background atmosphere to heighten the intimacy; the tone f the conversation affirming it.
Dee had surprised Ryo by making a dessert – a quick, simple coffee cake with apple slices and crumb topping. Dee made him promise not to tell anyone that he could cook things like that – he would never live it down should Drake or JJ find out. All those years in the orphanage had left a few things embedded in his mind, and certain recipes were part of them. It was one of the things he could make from memory. Often they had used it as a birthday cake for the children.
The table had been cleared and the few dishes done; now the two sat on the sofa, not so much watching the movie on the TV, but just enjoying each other's presence. They sat close together, just barely touching. Finally Dee rose, shaking his empty beer can. "Need another?"
"Yeah, I could do with another. Thanks." Ryo replied as he handed Dee his empty can. Ryo watched as his lover walked toward the kitchen, soaking in every muscle movement of his body. A sappy smile stole its way to his face, hinting that rather risqué thoughts were going through his mind. His expression was more serious as he continued to watch Dee gather the beer cans and return to sit next to him again."
What does this man have that entices me so? What draws me to him? What makes him so different?
Dee was surprised that Ryo had agreed to another. This was the most he'd seen Ryo drink in a long time. He wasn't drunk, but he wasn't quite sober either; kind of in that mellow mood where all was right with the world. Well, since they didn't have to get up early in the morning, it really didn't matter. And it was good to see Ryo loosen up a bit, very rarely did he do so.
Walking back from the kitchen he saw the look on Ryo's face. After handing over the beer, he sat down again, tucking one leg under so he could sit facing Ryo. Dee asked, "You're quiet tonight. I can see you're thinking real hard about something. What's up? It better not have to do with work."
Reaching over to caress Dee's thigh, Ryo sighed. "No, don't want to waste my time on that tonight. Been thinking a lot about us, how we became us, why we became us." Ryo paused, thinking about what he would say next.
"I can't help but wonder, if I hadn't met you and given in to you, would I be gay?"
About to open his beer, Dee stopped and lowered the can, turning to look straight at Ryo. Even though Ryo was in a thoughtful, talkative mood, that was a surprising, unexpected statement. "What brought that up?"
Ryo laid his head back on the sofa, looking at the ceiling. "Well, you knew fairly early what your preferences were. I was more muddled – hell, I didn't even think about preferences. Until you came on the scene I only had piddling thoughts of not being heterosexual."
Dee smiled inwardly. He still has problems saying 'homosexual'. Correction, he still has problems discussing sexuality.
"In high school I just thought I appreciated the well-toned bodies, the physiques of my team mates, in a non-sexual way. They were definitely built better than I was. I enjoyed watching the track team run their paces. I never connected the hard-ons to watching them. I guess I was a bit clueless. I dated girls but it never went very far; I wasn't really interested in sex back then, it wasn't a priority."
Dee raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Is sex a priority now? Hm, possibilities. And Ryo admitting he was clueless was something he never expected to hear. But if Ryo was in a confessing mood, he was damned well going to listen. This was a side of Ryo that rarely surfaced. Although he was becoming more open in their sexual involvement, he was still quite tight-lipped on his past, especially the teen years.
"That last year in school is a haze, with all that happened. Nothing seemed quite right until I graduated the Police Academy. Guess I finally realized that I could reach my goal of finding out what really happened – and why it happened."
Ryo fell silent as memories passed through his mind. "Only once I joined the police force did I start dating. I enjoyed the sexual release the ladies afforded me, and I really enjoyed their sexual attentions to me, but I never associating it with being different. It just felt, well – nice. But thinking back, I never felt totally at ease with women. I just thought it was that I didn't love them enough."
Dee laughed softly. "Only you could put it that way – calling a blow job 'nice'."
Ryo looked towards Dee with surprise on his face, then reached over to pinch Dee. "Don't make fun. I'm serious here." His face was starting to tinge pink. He was beginning to think maybe he'd had too much to drink and should shut up.
"I'm not making fun of you. I'm just stating a fact. You have very unique ways of looking at things. You're very innocent when it comes to talking about sex. You still have a hard time saying 'fuck me'. It's just the way you are, and I love you for it." Dee leaned over and kissed Ryo softly on the lips. "Continue, love, I'm listening."
"Not much else to say. Would anyone else have been able to bring me out of my shell if I hadn't met you? Could anyone else have been so determined, so patient - waiting so long without any guarantee that I'd finally reciprocate? It took you years to finally break me out, let me see what I was without any shame, and you – you're a pro at this stuff. Would I have been content to bed the occasional woman and have a nice, safe, sexual life? Would I have spent the rest of my life without knowing the pleasures you give me? Would I have gotten married and had the average 2.5 kids, a dog, and a house in the suburbs?"
"After that comment I know you're thinking too much." Said Dee as he put his unopened beer on the table. "Come here, I think you need to be side-tracked by a pro." Dee gently pushed Ryo flat onto the couch, easing one hand under his shirt as he did so. His lips found Ryo's; parting them he savored the taste of his lover, their tongues dancing and dueling to a tempo set by emotion.
Ryo's hands caressed Dee's waist, slowly moving down to the hips. He gently pulled Dee down to rest against him, pressing his groin upward with a slight pressure – a subtle but insistent indication that he wanted more than a kiss.
"Ryo, love, you have to make a decision here. Do we move to the bedroom or to the floor? This couch isn't big enough to comfortably do what we want to do."
Ryo's arm reached out and none-too-gently pushed aside the coffee table. Needing no further information Dee grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and spread it on the floor, making sure the table was well out of harm's way.
Before he could straighten up, Ryo had pushed him onto his back;. Ryo sat on his knees straddling Dee. He looked up at Ryo, seeing undisguised love and passion on his face. Oh, this was going to be a good night.
Ryo reached forward and touched Dee's hair. "Why you? What is it about you? For all my attempts to deny you, you were – and still are – first and foremost in my thoughts. You always look like the mischievous little boy, always up to something. Your unruly hair, your soul seeking eyes, your lips that demand my attention …"
Dee ran his hands along Ryo's forearms. "I'm the excitement you never had time for, all the things you've ever wanted to do but didn't have the guts to admit you desired, all those possibilities you denied yourself, all those things good little boys living in the suburbs didn't do. I intrigue you, excite you, force you to see yourself as you should be, not as the straight-laced heterosexual you forced yourself to portray. I found the chinks in your armor and worked on making them larger so your heart could get out."
"And you are the most special person in my life, the one that I've waited for with all my heart."
Dee's hands had now made it to the buttons on Ryo's shirt, quickly undoing them he pulled the shirt down and off. "Now, it's time to stop the idle chatter and let the 'pro' get down to why we're on this flo..."
Dee was suddenly silenced by Ryo's insistent mouth on his; Ryo's hands had trailed down Dee's body and were working on his zipper. Dee could feel the heat radiating from Ryo's body, could feel the tension waiting to be released. Once Ryo had gotten as far as he could, he rolled him over and returned the favor, divesting each of them of unnecessary clothing in rapid order.
It didn't take long for the two bodies to become entwined, breathing and pulsing as one, lost in their own world. Each received what they wanted, needed, and in turn gave the same to the other.
#=#=#=#=#
They had taken a shower afterwards, then cuddled on the bed to drift off and doze a bit. Ryo woke first. As he gazed at his lover's naked body he couldn't resist running his hand over Dee's chest, brushing against the dark nipples that immediately rose to attention.
Slowly the green eyes opened and a smile graced his lips. "Love you, babe." He wrapped his arms around Ryo, pulling him close, breathing against his neck, slowly nibbling across the collar bones, sensuously moving his hips against this gorgeous man that was his alone.
"Love you so much, Dee." The characteristic blush took over his face again. His voice lowered, an embarrassed tone crept into his words.
"Fuck me again, please?"