A/N: Just a little one shot I wrote for some humor:) Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
-
-
"I got 10 on House today" said one intern to another as he set his tray down on the table to sit with his other colleagues.
"I got 20 on Cuddy" spoke one pulling out a twenty dollar bill, "I saw her make a grown man cry today, she is in the zone."
The interns continued taking bets as they waited for the show to begin. Sure enough five minutes later in walked Greg House, James Wilson and Lisa Cuddy all caring lunch trays heading towards their regular table. Smiles instantly came to the interns lips as they could already here House and Cuddy bickering.
"House you bastard, I specifically told you know more tests" hissed Cuddy.
"I didn't test him, I just gave him an MRI, that is a procedure" smirked House.
"Procedures and test is the same damn thing and you know it" hissed Cuddy slamming her food on the table.
"No I didn't" smirked House sitting down, "but now that I know it won't happen again."
"Ya right" mumbled Cuddy gabbing her fork into her salad as if she was picturing House's face instead of her regular salad.
"You seem extra stressed today Cuddles" smiled House totally ignoring his food, "Did the new prick you are dating turn out to be a dud in bed."
"Actually I had more orgasms last night then I have ever had before" smirked Cuddy as she say Houses eyes get wide in surprise.
"They don't count Cuddles if you get them after he is already asleep" smirked House.
Cuddy glared, "House I am so sick of your shitt…." Started Cuddy but was interrupted when Wilson finally spoke.
"That is it I can't take it anymore" yelled Wilson slamming his cup down on the table with a loud thud, "You two have done nothing but fight for the past 3 weeks straight."
"He has done nothing but push my buttons for days" hissed Cuddy glaring at House, which he answered back with a smirk.
"Ohh…Cuddles you have been far from a ray of sunshine these past few weeks too" said House is sarcasm dripping from his voice.
"That is it" interrupted Wilson, "I am tired of it, why don't you two just get over your damn pride and have sex already," yelled Wilson a little too loudly because soon the whole entire cafeteria became silent all of the occupants staring at their table.
"Sorry" said Wilson looking up to see people staring at him. "Go back to eating your lunch people nothing to see here" said Wilson embarrassed, as he looked at his friends to see them glaring at him.
"Wilson" said House slowly but amusement was noticeable in his eyes.
"James" stressed Cuddy at the same time as House.
"I am sorry okay" said Wilson holding up his hands in defeat. "You two bicker so much you act like an old married couple. You two are so perfect for each other and everyone else notices it but you."
House and Cuddy both opened their mouths to protest but Wilson interrupted them, "Argue all you want, but you to are freakishly alike one another, and not only that but you know almost absolutely everything about each other"
"He doesn't know anything about my life…" screeched Cuddy.
"You expect me believe…" started House at the same time.
"Okay...okay" said Wilson interrupting them, "Humor me okay, I am going to ask you of you some questions and then you will answer them to your best abilit, and there will be no interruptions from the other side, okay?" asked Wilson smirking.
"I am not playing your games Wilson" hissed House glaring.
"Just think of it as another opportunity to prove me wrong" shrugged Wilson smirking at House.
House sighed, "Fine, but just to prove you wrong."
"Cuddy you in?" asked Wilson to her.
"Whatever" she said resuming back to eating her salad.
"Okay" nodded House, "I will start with House."
"Bring it on" smirked House.
"What is Cuddy's favorite color" asked Wilson.
Cuddy instantly snapped up at the question with a questioning gaze at Wilson then back down to her plate continuing eating her food.
"What kind of question is that?" asked House shocked.
"Answer it House" smirked Wilson.
Sighing House answered, "Red."
Cuddy snapped up again in surprise. House was avoiding her questioning gaze.
"Is that right Cuddy?" asked Wilson smirking.
Cuddy just nodded her eyes still on House.
"Okay Lisa your turn" smirked Wilson grabbing her attention, "What is House's favorite band?"
"The Fray" said Cuddy quickly. Hers and House's eyes snapped open with surprise at her answer.
Wilson turned to House with an amused raised eyebrow, "Is that right House?" he asked.
House just nodded staring at Cuddy in surprise, now she was avoiding his gaze.
"Okay back to you House" smiled Wilson, "What is Cuddy's favorite book?"
"Gone with the Wind" answered House his eyes still on Cuddy's.
Cuddy whipped her head around quickly her eyes now staring deep into Houses.
"Cuddy what is House's favorite piano piece to play?" asked Wilson.
"Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven" answered Cuddy still looking at House, which he responded with an raised eyebrow.
"House when does Cuddy start her period?" asked Wilson amused with the whole situation.
"In the next couple days" answered House and when he got an raised eyebrow raise from Cuddy he shrugged, "What you have been even more bitchy in the past few days than normal, it is only a matter of time before Aunt Flow comes knocking" said House emphasizing his comment by knocking on the table.
Wilson just shook his head at House, "Cuddy how many vicodin's has House ingested today?" he asked.
"Six" said Cuddy. "Two more than he really needed" she said glaring at him.
"I am in pain" smirked House.
"No, you are a pain" stressed Cuddy.
"Uhhuh..." said Wilson clearing his throat catching both their attentions once again, "Shall we continue…okay House where is Cuddy's spare key?"
"Easy under her flower pot" smirked House at Cuddy's glare.
"That doesn't prove that he knows me" glared Cuddy at House, "It just proves that he doesn't have a life."
"Fair enough" shrugged Wilson, "Cuddy where is House's spare key?"
"Nobody knows that one…." Started House.
"Under the fire extinguisher across from his door" smirked Cuddy as she House narrow his eyes at her, which she answered back with a shrug.
"House what is Cuddy's favorite drink?" asked Wilson.
"Raspberry Iced Tea" answered House simply.
"Cuddy where is House's favorite spot to hide from you?" asked Wilson.
"Wilson how is it supposed to be a secret if she knows…" started House.
"On the roof" interrupted Cuddy smirking at him.
House just stared at her, his mouth agape, "Wait ..if you knew I was up there why don't you come get me" said House shocked.
Cuddy shrugged, "I figured if you wanted to get away from me so bad that you would walk up four flights of steps just to get away from me, then I wasn't going to bother you" answered Cuddy.
"See this is fun isn't it?" smirked Wilson as he watched both House and Cuddy look at each other in a whole new light.
"House, what is Cuddy's favorite dinner dish" asked Wilson.
"Fetticunni Alfredo" answered House staring at Cuddy as if she was a puzzle.
"Cuddy, what is House's favorite movie?" asked Wilson.
"Die Hard…" started Cuddy.
"Ahh…" said House jumping from his chair opening his mouth to shout.
"Two" answered Cuddy smirking as she watched House's smirk fall from his face as he sat back down.
"Wilson I am growing tired of this game" sighed Cuddy, "So what if me and House know everything there is to know about one another, it doesn't prove anything."
"House, why do you always drop in on Cuddy's dates?" asked Wilson ignoring Cuddy.
"Because he is a bastard and he takes a sick pleasure in ruining my life" glared Cuddy at House who still remained silent studying her as if she were one of his patients.
Silence went by until Wilson broke it, "House?"
"Because all they want to do is get in her pants, and she is better than that" answered House simply still staring at Cuddy, as if he didn't even realize what he just said.
Cuddy's eyes opened slightly with surprise but she reverted back to her passive face as Wilson asked her a question, "Cuddy why do you still have that sweat shirt that House gave you back in college?" asked Wilson smirking at Cuddy's glare she was sending at him.
"It's comfortable," shrugged Cuddy.
"You still have my sweatshirt?" asked House with a smirk, "I want it back."
"Well you're not getting it," mock glared Cuddy amusement evident in her eyes.
"It's my sweatshirt," said House stressing the 'my' in the sentence.
"But I like it," said Cuddy empathizing stressing 'I' right back.
"You forget I know where you spare key is Cuddles," smirked House. "I could just break in and get it out of the top of your closet."
"How do you know my sweatshirts are on the top shelve in my closet?" said Cuddy narrowing her eyes at him.
"You are a hard sleeper," shrugged House. He smiled when he heard her shout, "That is creepy House!"
"Come on Cuddles you don't honestly expect that I broke into your house in the middle of the night while you were sleeping and actually skipped your underwear door and went right to your closet shelf where you keep your sweatshirts?" he asked.
"I wouldn't put it past you breaking into my home House," glared Cuddy.
"Lets get back to the game," tried Wilson seeing that their banter was getting back out of control.
"I am not playing and games anymore," hissed Cuddy standing up. "I don't know what you are trying to prove James but me and House as a couple would be horrific. Plus I heard from Nurse Kathy down in pediatrics that he is bad in bed."
And with that Cuddy walked away with a smirk on her face she heard House's loud outburst coming from her statement.
She heard House's approaching footsteps following her and sighed loudly, "Do you ever give up," she asked turning around as they left the cafeteria.
"Okay for one, no I don't," smirked House. "And two, I would have you know that I am exceptional in bed and three, I never had sex with Nurse Kathy the bitch tried but I said no."
Cuddy's eyes widened with shock, "You said 'no' to sex?" asked Cuddy surprise evident on her face.
"Of course I said 'no,' " laughed House, "the woman is not my type once so ever."
"House, Nurse Kathy is beautiful," argued Cuddy. "She is exactly your type, blonde hair, blue eyes, big breasts and dumb as a door nail."
"Well it seems that you don't know everything about me Cuddles," smirked House as he stepped towards her pinning her to the wall.
"House what are you…" tired Cuddy.
"Because I happen to like black hair," interrupted House. "And I do like boobs but I need a little ass to go with it. I hate dumb people, they are annoying. I appreciate a smart mind. You are right that I do like blue eyes but I like grey eyes even more."
"House…" tried Cuddy again her eyes widening at who he was describing but she was cut off at the quick motions of Houses head as she felt his lips capturing hers within his own. She reached up to push him off but when a gently hand came up to stroke her cheek bone the only thing she was capable of doing was wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer.
Unbeknownst to them there were 8 interns all fighting for a spot in front of the door looking through the small window their eyes widening at the sight of the dean of medicine and her head of diagnostics making out against the wall.
After each one got their peek they pulled back and all stared at each other in shock, "Wait who wins?" spoke one.
They all looked around and shrugged that was until a loud bark of laughter and a shriek of horror erupted from outside the door. The interns resumed back to all fighting for the window to see Lisa Cuddy trying to buckle back of her bra and chasing after a laughing House at the same time.
"Greg House I am going to kill you…" shrieked Cuddy following him around the corner.
The interns all pull back from the window smirking at each other, "The game is still on," smiled one and they all nodded at the comment. Laughing the followed the shouts of death threats and the barks of laughter through the hospital.
-
-
REVIEW:)