I own nothing but my ideas. The rest belongs to the great Stephenie Meyer. I hope you enjoy this, it might not be great but this idea has been nagging my brain the last couple of days…now-on with the story!!! P.S. this is set post-Breaking Dawn.

Carlisle could be many things. Carlisle could be strategic, calm, sensitive, loving, caring, thoughtful, wise, gentle, angry, upset, stressed, scared, or completely apathetic. However, no matter what Carlisle was feeling, he was always, always in control of his emotions. Carlisle could also play many roles. Carlisle could be a leader, a doctor, a businessman, a gentleman, a husband, a friend, a guide, and, most prominently, a father. Again, no matter what role Carlisle was playing, he always wore the perfect mask to complete it. Most of the time, I was able to tell both what he was feeling and what role he was playing; as was the rest of our family. But today, today was different.

The Volturi was set to go to war with our family today after Edward and Alice had, once again, refused to join them in Italy. The Volturi refused to call off the attack unless at least one of us sacrificed ourselves to save our family. Carlisle, for once, had no solution to the problem at hand. Of course, being the selfless man that he is, he suggested he give himself for the protection of his family. That idea was shot down before it was even voiced; Edward having read his mind was the first to object. Alice had had a vision of what tactics they would employ during our battle.

"They're most upset with me and Edward. They'll take Renesmee first; they want to make sure that Edward and Bella will suffer." She choked. "Then they'll kill Bella…and then they'll go after Jasper. After that they'll kill Emmett, then Rosalie, then Carlisle…" She paused for a second and unnecessarily inhaled, "After Carlisle will be Esme, Edward…and they'll save me for last. Jacob will be killed at some point too. They don't care when they kill him, but they'll fight to keep our death list in order."

Alice looked up at me through shocked eyes. "Esme, they want you to die near the end so that you'll watch almost all of your children die. They know that we're your biggest weakness and they want to take advantage of it."

So now, here we were. Carlisle and I sat on our bed facing each other; not touching, not breathing, not blinking, just staring. It was not a time to talk. It was a time to just be with each other. Carlisle was wearing a mask, a mask that hid all emotions, and for once, I couldn't see through it. Carlisle had never completely shut me out before, nor had he ever taken his mask completely off. I looked down at my hands resting lightly on my lap and thought idly about every time Carlisle had held them; every time he had held them to lead me, to comfort me, to escort me, to simply place a kiss on the back. Every touch had meant so much, and it was now that I realized how simple actions such as those always seem to mean the most. I looked back at Carlisle to see the mask still in place, no emotion to be found.

"Esme, I could save everyone." He said blankly. "If you'd just let me-"

"No. How many times do I have to tell you? You think it would help me to just give yourself in our place. What you don't understand is that if you let yourself die, then you're killing me too. Without you life holds no meaning for me. There is no purpose for me but to suffer. Your death is something I would not live through. I would walk through life blind if not for your light guiding the way."

"I just don't know what other option there is to save us all."

I looked at him carefully, studying his features and gently prodded him to look back up at me.

"Carlisle, the only thing for us to do now is hope; hope that we all make it out of this mess; hope that we'll all be alright."

I looked away; then I looked back at you

You tried to say, the things that you can't undo

If I had my way, I'd never get over you

Today's the day I pray that we make it through

Make it through the fall

Make it through it all

The last thing I wanted to do right now was breakdown. This was the time for me to be strong. I had to prove to Carlisle that I could handle this battle; that he didn't have to protect me. In this battle I would make sure that he had nothing to focus on except saving himself. Even if I didn't survive this, my last actions would make certain that he did. Knowing that I might not see him again after today was heart wrenching, it made my insides squirm and my eyes sting with non existent tears. All I wanted was to stare at him; to memorize every detail, because if death was to be lonely, I wanted an angel, my angel etched into my mind.

And I don't want to fall to pieces

I just want to sit and stare at you

I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want a conversation

I just want to cry in front of you

And I don't want to talk about it

'Cause I'm in love with you

Again, looking at Carlisle, I found that the mask was still in place. I wondered how he could manage it for so long. Then again, Carlisle had always been the most collected of us all. I had always been the least. Emotions were something I had never gained perfect control of. Of course I could attempt holding them in, or tone them down a bit but never have I been able to completely hide them as Carlisle does, and is doing now. How many times had I hid in my room to let out the small sobs that escaped me after recollecting my past? How many times had I broken a door or mirror out of frustration? And time and time again, Carlisle would always be there. He never gave any signs of worry or doubt or anger-he would just hold me until I calmed down. The worst of these commotions had been about a week ago, after hearing of the oncoming attack. Everything in me transferred into rage and I lost control completely.

*FLASHBACK*

"WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS?!" I screeched. Everyone had gone hunting to give Carlisle and I privacy to discuss what was coming.

"Esme, dear please calm down." Carlisle said soothingly.

"No! I will not calm down!" I screamed again. I reached for the lamp and heaved it through the wall. "They keep trying to ruin OUR family when they don't get their way! I'm so sick of it! We're all in danger again! It's ALL THEIR FAULT!" I punctuated each of the last three words with a hole in the wall using my fists.

"Esme, you're right. It is their fault. You have the complete and total right to be angry, but you mustn't behave like this. Think of what would happen if the children walked in right now. We must be strong for them." He reasoned.

"I don't want to be strong!" I shouted. "That's what got us into this mess! Being strong! Having powers!" I rammed my fist into the mirror hanging on the bedroom wall, causing it to shatter into thousands of tiny shards. Carlisle came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, holding on tightly so that I couldn't run. I turned in his arms so that I was facing him.

"Let me go!" I hissed. I struggled in his arms but Carlisle had me in a death grip. "Let go!"

"No."

"I said let go!" I wiggled my arms out of his grasp and started hitting his chest. When he didn't let go, I swung back my arm and slapped him across the face. Just by looking at him I could tell that this hurt him, not physically, but emotionally. I had never resorted to hitting anyone before, not out of anger. And now, here I was, hitting the man I loved more than life itself because I had lost control. And I hadn't been hitting lightly, I was packing force. When I realized this I went limp and began shaking. Carlisle, still holding on to me, placed one arm behind my knees and lifted me up, cradling me to his chest.

"What's wrong with me?" I sobbed.

"Nothing is wrong with you Esme. Everyone needs to let out emotions and everyone lets off steam in a different way. There is nothing wrong with you for doing what everyone else does."

"You don't." I whispered. He said nothing.

*END FLASHBACK*

And again, Carlisle had calmed me until I was completely under control. God only knows what I would do without him. Carlisle is all I want and all I will ever need. I wasn't going to give up easily today.

You're the only one

I'd be with 'till the end

When I come undone

You bring me back again

Back under the stars

Back into your arms

There was so much I had learned about Carlisle over time; so much that fascinated me about him. Yet, there was still more that I wanted to know. I wanted to know every detail. Everything he had experienced in his 3 centuries of life; even things from before this life had started! From his childhood! There were so many memories to hear about, I couldn't even begin to figure out where to start!

Looking up at him I noticed something new. There was a strange glint in his eyes. Something that was barely noticeable, but had most certainly not been there before. I wanted desperately to know how he felt. Even just a small fraction of what he felt, just to have a clue as to what he was thinking. Anything, anything and everything.

Wanna know who you are

Wanna know where to start

I wanna know what this means…

Wanna know how you feel

Wanna know what is real

I wanna know everything,

Everything…

And just like that, Carlisle broke. The mask snapped and his face crumpled in agony as he began to hysterically choke and dry-sob. I reached my arms out to him and he placed his head on my shoulder, shaking and sobbing.

"W-why us?" he managed through the tears.

"I don't know honey, I just don't know." I replied quietly.

He just cried. Though tears were non-existent, he was clearly being tortured on the inside. I was so close to breaking with him. So close. But, for once in my life, I had to be strong. I had to make it through for him. Carlisle needed me. Now was not my time to quit.

"I c-can't l-let you g-go." He choked. The truth was, I couldn't let him go either. I was gripping tightly around his shoulders as he buried his head in the crook of my neck. I couldn't let him leave me – not forever.

"I need you. I l-love you. I love you s-so m-much…" he whispered. That was all he repeated. I love you. Over and over again. And all I could do was hold him. I couldn't tell him it would be okay; that would be a lie. I had no way of comforting him. No promises I could make. All I could do was hold him – and pray to god that it would help, if only just a little. After all, we were all we had to lose.

And I don't want to fall to pieces

I just want to sit and stare at you

I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want a conversation

I just want to cry in front of you

And I don't want to talk about it

'Cause I'm in love with you,

I'm in love with you,

I'm in love with you…

Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed my story. I KNOW I enjoyed writing it. I actually cried while writing the ending. So while I sit here in tears I would like to ask you to review!! It would be greatly appreciated!!

-Silverlilly92