Wow, I'm actually surprised how many reviews this story has gotten. Thank you to everyone who did! You've inspired me to write another chapter.

Any ideas/Merlin cliches that you can think of are welcome, in case I add a third chapter.

Dear Merlin fanfiction writers,

Well, for starters, thanks to those of you that actually read our last letter. I honestly thought that it would have been ignored.

It was, Merlin. There's still Arthur/Merlin stories appearing.

Anyway, apart from that, it seemed to be a success. So we thought we'd write another one.

Because the more fanfiction we read, the more complaints we have.

Okay, in order to continue where we left off:

8. No femmeslash, especially no Gwen/Morgana.

Yes, no more… wait, what? Why'd you write that, Merlin?

Well, if we're telling people to stop writing slash, isn't it only fair that we ask them not to write femmeslash?

Morgana told you to write that, didn't she?

…yes.

Spoilsport.

9. No more mpreg! It may have escaped your notice, but it is physically impossible! And anyway, why am I always the one affected? Why not Arthur?

Because you're seen as the girl in our 'relationship'.

Gee, thanks.

10. No more 'old' Merlin, either! How did people even come up with that? He's younger than me, for crying out loud! And yet people seem to have this idea that he's an old man who helped my parents get together.

Arthur?

Yes?

Wrong fandom. You're describing the traditional Arthurian legend.

Oh. Well, at least they named the legend after me.

11. My father doesn't send me out to kill EVERY monster/sorcerer/traitor. He sends out other knights at times instead of me. Merlin, why are you laughing?

Oh, no reason. It's just…

Yes?

He does send you out most of the time, which is odd considering he also wants to protect you.

Are you questioning my father's decisions?

No! No, definitely not.

You try writing down a complaint, then.

12. No more making me wear a dress, please! I have never worn a dress, and do not intend to in the future. No thanks to Morgana, who kept trying to persuade me to wear one after she discovered fanfiction…

I remember that; she kept dropping hints every time she saw you.

Arthur, sayings like "The colour of this dress would go so well with your eyes" and "I think this would look lovely on you" are not exactly hints.

It's a shame really. You would have looked so cute in a dress.

…

…

… did you really just write that?

…

Well, this is awkward…

Umm, I've got to go and, ummm, talk to my father now, Merlin. I'll see you later.

Yeah, alright…

Please keep our new requests in mind, especially no. 12. I'm suddenly wondering exactly what was running through Arthur's mind just then, and I'm not sure I want to find out.

Yours sincerely,

Merlin and an absent Arthur.

PS. As always, no Merthur is encouraged.