Author's note:

OMG~!

First of all, I am deeply sorry for the unannounced one month hiatus. I went into a stage of deep laziness that I just can't seem to come out of it until recently. And I was having a writer's block that I can't even manage a chapter. Though I am not entirely sure if this chapter is worth the wait, I just hope everyone enjoy it. _"

Thank you for reading.

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Chapter thirteen: A heart that cannot be hidden

Her eyes gradually fluttered open at the sound of the heavy downpour. Gaeul sat up on the couch in a daze and took a quick glance at the clock on the wall. 6 pm, she thought. It was already this late and she fell asleep on the couch, but he didn't come. Maybe something came up, she told herself. The note clearly stated he'd dropped by later but he didn't say when, so she shouldn't feel concerned, yet Gaeul felt unease for some reason.

****

Yijung silently gazed faraway outside, watching as the rain blew against the window. Yijung had always loved the smell of the moist air when it rained, and the chill wind felt so familiarly soothing. His thoughts wandered to that of Woobin. Something about Woobin's dull face earlier alarmed him. Growing up, when everyone was down in the dumps, Woobin will be the only one unaffected by it and wore a happy face that tried to cheer everyone up. Because Woobin had always been the dependable big brother in the group, Yijung felt as if he had took him for granted all these years.

"Yijung-ah," the soft voice called out from behind.

Yijung turned to his back and gave a polite bow to the old man standing in front of him. "Annyeong haseoyo, harabeoji (grandfather)," he greeted him.

"Oh, Yijung-ah. It's really a wonder to see you staying at home at this hour," the old man remarked, half teasing. "Did your mother called you home?" he then asked.

Yijung smiled awkwardly. "Yes, she said she wants to have a family dinner to celebrate my homecoming," he replied simply.

Yijung hadn't seen the old man in years but it seemed like he had managed his health well. Yijung couldn't recall the last time they had a talk, but in his memory his grandfather had always been a calm and quiet person. He never meddled in anything that went around in the house, especially the broken marriage of his parents. Though he had previously resented him for that, Yijung later learnt to appreciate his action, because there weren't anything left to salvage anyway.

His grandfather nodded slightly. "Let's just hope this time the family dinner stays as family dinner. I didn't come all the way from Busan to watch another dramatic scene," he commented and Yijung knew perfectly well what he had meant.

There was a pregnant pause. "Harabeoji, it's rare to see you back to the mansion. Did something happen?" Yijung questioned. His grandfather couldn't have came back for a simple family dinner, there ought to be a real reason behind it. "Did mother called you home too?" he quickly added.

His grandfather let out a small sigh, "Your mother has her own reasons for everything, you just be good to her." He then cleared out his throat and changed the topic, "Now that you've come back from Sweden, you should change your way of life. I hate to say this but you've become too much like your father," he went on. While his grandfather continued on his nagging, Yijung's gaze fell on the floor and his thoughts wandered off to his father.

Flashback

His eyes were bulging in deep hatred, and the fire in his heart escalated. "Have you ever lived your life properly even for a moment?"

So Hyunsub sneered, "There was only one woman who made me want to live right." Their eyes met when he stressed out, "If you let that one woman go, the others will be just the same, nothing but worthless repetitions."

End of flashback

For once in his whole life, he had to admit that his father was right. The real things only came once, and there was only one person that made Yijung felt he wanted to cherish his life.

****

As much as he wished for the dinner to go well, it didn't happen the way he had hoped. It was a strain right from the start. They had to wait a good ten minute before So Hyunsub finally made an appearance. And Yijung didn't miss the glaring exchange between both of his parents when they were moving on to the dinner table.

During the whole course, his heart was aching to ask what had happened during the family meeting that caused so much pain for Eunjae and Ilhyun, but he held back. The quiet atmosphere was already too much to bear. A question like that will just exploded in everyone's face and all hell will break loose. Besides, he wasn't really in any position to demand an answer, especially when the person in question didn't come today. But Yijung had a feeling, he wasn't even invited.

Yijung later rushed out of the mansion as soon as the dinner session ended. He needed to breathe, far away from the all façade in the mansion. Before his mother even managed to grab hold of him, Yijung slipped out of the house unknowingly and drove away in his orange Lotus Exige, to a place where his heart yearned for.

****

She was flushed with anticipation when the door bell rang. There was a silent tick that made her felt momentarily numbness. Her instinct told her, she'd be smiling when the door was opened. And she did.

****

"Jim…jilbang (public bath house)?" he ridiculed.

When he had arrived to her place earlier, neither of them can strike up a casual conversation so she had suggested that they went out to someplace instead. He didn't expect this. Even after four years, she never failed to amaze him. Maybe that was why, she had always occupied a special place in his heart, even from the beginning.

Gaeul beamed excitedly and nodded. "Oh. Since it's summer, it's only natural to go to jimjilbang, to refresh ourselves," she explained. "Heal heat with heat, don't you know?"

"But…" he tried to protest when she was already pulling him and urged him to go inside.

Thankfully, there weren't too many people there today, only some elderly couples trying to get some rest. Gaeul stole a glance at Yijung. He was eyeing every corner, either he was afraid of being recognized by the public or trying to figure out the place. When he came out of the dressing room earlier, Gaeul burst out in laughter to see his gawky appearance with that matching blue shirts and pants. Though he didn't commented on the clothes, Gaeul can feel his discomfiture and his struggle to blend in.

"Sunbae," she suddenly said, "let's play a game."

Yijung arched an eyebrow and stared at her with a questioning look. "Game?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Don't you feel boring just sitting here doing nothing?" she added.

"You're the one that brought me here," he said jokingly. When there was a visible pout on her lips, Yijung gave in. "What game?" he then asked.

The pout turned into a wide grin. "The truth game."

"Ah," he said in recognition to the game he once played with her and the others during Jandi's housewarming. "And the penalty?" he quickly added. "Kiss?" he suggested, smirking devilishly.

Gaeul squinted disapprovingly, nonetheless giddy inside at the mere suggestion.

"Or would you rather a flick on your head?" he asked, with a hand motion.

Gaeul's eyes widened in surprise. She remembered how the tin bent when Yijung flicked on it the last time. She scratched her non-itchy head, trying to figure out a penalty that won't cause her either pain or humiliation. "Ah!" an idea struck her like a bolt of lightning. "The loser has to grant a wish from the winner, whatever it is," she suggested.

A wish, huh? He thought. It wasn't a bad idea after all, if he won the game he can ask anything from her. "Deal!" he agreed in a flash.

Gaeul giggled in excitement. She took a moment and raked through her brain for a worthwhile question to ask him, but the result came out blank. "Sunbae," she then started to say, "mm…which one is prettier, Korean girl or Swedish girl?" it was a poor attempt but she tried her best.

Yijung can't help but to laugh at her. "Gaeul yang, are you really curious about that? Isn't there anything else that you're curious about? Wouldn't it be a waste to ask for this kind of question?" he asked. "I'll give you another chance. If you want to change the question, do it now," he added, a challenging tone in his voice.

She pondered on it for a moment and bit her lips tentatively. Will it be alright to muster up the courage and ask him this, just this once? Gaeul looked up and met his eyes. Even though her heartbeat soared and she had difficulty breathing and her head was in a jumble, she didn't take off her eyes. "Was I the first person you come to when you came back?" the question came out naturally, and her face was a mask of solemn. It was certainly a question that haunted her for days after his homecoming.

There was only silence on his part. They eyes fixed on each other when he purposely asked, "Is that what you're truly curious about?" When she nodded silently, Yijung said to her "Yes, because I made a promise."

Gaeul felt her heart swelled in sweet blissfulness.

He smirked and felt his own heartbeat increased rapidly at the mere of her smile. "My turn now, right?" He paused for a minute to gather up his own courage. "Gaeul yang, have you meet that...soulmate?"

Gaeul took a moment to collect her thought. "Truthfully, no. I have yet to meet someone who is willing to carry all the burden in the world with me, someone who is willing to laugh and cry with me until we reach our golden age, someone I can sit quietly with at the end of the day and feel comfortable with it, someone so important that even life seems such a trivial thing before it."

Though her answer made sense, Yijung was crestfallen. Deep down, he had wished the answer to be different. But she was right. It seemed like they had been playing pulling the rope game, when one came forward, the other back away. And they were both unable to take it to the next level. Their short interactions and the four years distance wouldn't add up for a strong sense of connection to just appear. Their feelings for each other were visible, but it wasn't enough.

****

They remained silent during the ride home that Gaeul started to regret her answer earlier. Could he be mad about that? But he didn't seem angry, dejected perhaps? Gaeul had really wanted to tell him she had always been wanting for him to be the one, but she kept holding back. Even when so much had happened between them, the fear of another rejection overwhelmed her. He did tell her once, she was against the three rules he set for his woman. She wasn't ready for her heart to be trampled on all over again.

Still, he was being polite 'til the end he even opened the door for her. She turned to leave after a short goodbye and walked towards the gate when he cried out from a distant, "Gaeul yang!"

She turned to look at him, her eyes squinted in curiosity.

This time, it cannot be hidden. His heart was beating out loud the unspoken truth and he chose to let his guard down. Somehow it was easier when she wasn't in a close distance, that he felt he could let it out. "Then, can I be the one? Someone to carry your burden, someone to laugh and cry with you even after we grow old, someone you can just sit quietly with and still feel comfortable and become so important that you can't life without? I might sound cocky, but I have the confidence now. I will work hard for your heart to trust in me."

The So Yijung that I like is like a child, afraid to love and being hurt. But that child is gone now, he has grown into a man who can finally admit his feelings. And I'm in love with this man.