Chapter one: Give up

Flashback

... "Thanks to a certain someone, I've realized how much you can regret something after you've given up on it."

End of flashback

Touching her lips, remembering the almost kiss scene between them, her heart beat even faster and louder. What should I do? Gaeul thought.

Flashback

…"Fool…" he said, almost in a whisper, tears welled up in his eyes. "You know I'm a fool, more than anyone else in the world! How could you have given me such hard problem?!"

"Start over! Start over! Let me start it over!" He cried out, overwhelmed with regret that he had let go the woman that he loved the most.

Sunbae… Gaeul watched him cry, silently crying with him. Sunsaengnim (teacher)…you must have loved her a lot.

End of flashback

Just the thought of Eunjae reminds Gaeul of her words - don't live to regret something that your heart yearns for.

Flashback

…"I couldn't get it through him…my heart, that is. Surprisingly after that, I felt as if all my feelings are emptied out, and I thought maybe this is where it ends," she said with a smile.

"Didn't it hurt?" Gaeul asked.

"I have done everything I wanted without regrets, so it didn't hurt. Gaeul sshi, you too, should go for it so you don't live to regret it later."

End of flashback

****

Working in the porridge shop has been a drag for her lately, but it was the only job that can keep her sane. Memories of Jandi overflow in every corner of the shop, Gaeul's heart sank with a hint of guilt.

Cleaning up the dishes on the table, Gaeul silently sighed. A lot of things went through her mind. Mostly of Jandi, who's currently gone missing. And a certain someone who she can never get out of her mind.

The door slowly opened and in comes Yijung with his ever comforting smile.

"Yijung sunbae."

****

It was quite a surprise that Yijung would even come to a place like this that Gaeul can't help but to stare at him, bewildered as he usher her in.

"Fast food restaurant?"

Yijung grinned, pleased with his little effort. "I thought you might like a place like this. It's quite popular, I've heard."

"Ah…I don't really know," she admitted. "Other than the porridge shop, I barely go anywhere else. I'm a dull person after all."

"Gaeul yang," he said as she turned to look at him. "You're anything but a dull person."

Feeling a little embarrassed, Gaeul cleared her throat and decided to look for a place to sit while Yijung offered to order some food for them.

Handing over the food to her, Yijung took the chance to observe her closely. Gaeul yang…

"Still haven't heard anything from Jandi?" he asked.

"Yeah, I really don't know what to think. She turned off her cellphone and only said that she was going somewhere," she said.

"She's probably fine. She's Geum Jandi after all," he said, wanting to comfort her.

"It seems like you know my friend better than I am."

"I told you, I know a little bit about women," he joked, making her smile at the mere attempt.

"How is Junpyo sunbae holding up?"

"He's a mess." He didn't elaborate, because Junpyo and Jandi's crisis was only an excuse for him to meet up with her.

"Gaeul yang," he finally managed. "Now…should we have a talk about us?"

Avoiding his gaze, Gaeul knew this was coming. "Sunbae, this food is really delicious!" she evaded, taking a small bite of the hamburger, hoping that'd make it clear she's not ready for another Yijung bombshell.

****

Walking down the stairs at Namsan, Gaeul wondered what Yijung might try to say.

"Gaeul yang, I…"

"I'll go first," she cut him off, feared that he might shoot her down and hurt her more than he already has. "You don't have to feel any obligation towards me. I know everything… how you feel," of how much you still cares for her. "That's why from now on, I won't go looking for you anymore."

"Gaeul yang," he tried to explain.

"Sunsaengnim (teacher)," she stopped. "No, Eunjae sunsaengnim said that she had done everything she wanted so she has no regrets or lingering feelings. Thank you for giving me the chance to try my best."

Forcing a smile, she continued "When I hear from Jandi, I'd be sure to let you know immediately. Well, then…" and turned to leave.

Taken aback, Yijung continue to stare after her as she slowly walked away from there. Yijung felt as if a massive concrete was being weigh down on his chest. Unable to breath in the painful realization that he might just have lost something so important to him. Could it be? That he's in love with Gaeul? Only to realize it after she decided to give up on him?

****