A/N: My first ever SephyXGen fanfic. So be nice. I worship this pairing, as well as the individual characters. They're both so pretty and their personality traits are so flawed and human and how can you people not love them? They're both adorable. Though I think I might have made Gen a bit more twisted and evil than he actually is. He was always a manipulative little bitch. Driving Seph to the pits like that.
In a Broader Sense
Looking back on that day, Sephiroth had decided that it was all Genesis' fault that....they had to be put on a temporary duty suspension after Shinra was given blame for a incident where an innocent pedestrian was violently assaulted and dangled on a 2000 ft skyscraper by an red clad and rather effeminate 1st class SOLDIER
(He also blamed Genesis for landing them on ANOTHER temporary duty suspension after the indignant man thoroughly trashed the media company that had taken liberties in not so subtly implying that he looked like a girl. But that's irrelevant)
Centuries after that fateful day...well, not centuries. But a few hours after their punishment was issued, Sephiroth still couldn't understand why HE was being punished when it was Genesis who actually did the stuff. He got some BS reply about doing nothing to stop the rabid SOLDIER despite not even being near him in the first place; later he suspected it had something to do with his hair-whose sheer length and uncanny gorgeousness actually landed him in more trouble than most would care to think. They were probably just jealous.
Genesis, of course, wasn't the type who easily accepted blame. He decided that, in a broader sense, it was Lazard's fault for giving them the day off, thus triggering the chain of unfortunate occurrences that would subsequently follow.
After that, Sephiroth was about to object that if they wanted to look at it in a REALLY broad sense, then it would be President Shinra's fault for even founding the company and thus setting the chain of events that would ultimately lead to their meeting, and even more ultimately their shitty dates.
Of course, being a creature of dignity, the white haired man realized what a stupid argument he was trying to make and wisely chose to keep his trap shut.
**
The whole thing started when Angeal announced that the director had so benevolently endowed them with few days off.
"He said something about how hard we fought in the war or something like that." He shrugged, obviously bewildered by their superior's sudden gesture of understanding.
Next to him, Genesis was happily reading his LOVELESS copy and smiling in such a way that Sephiroth's mako enhanced intuition informed him that the cause of his auburn haired colleague's good mood and Lazard's sudden "kindness" might not be entirely unrelated. But intuition was hardly good enough these days.
(Lazard's underlings still wonder why the poor man would instinctively dive under his desk whenever approached with a sandwich)
"So what are you going to do?" Sephiroth asked in a lame attempt to sound interested.
"Me? Probably go take a visit back to Banora Village. I haven't visited my mother for a while." Angeal turned to Genesis. "You want to come?"
"No, I think I'll stay here. Besides, I don't think my parents have forgiven me for drowning their puppy in the toilet last time." Genesis ignored the incredulous stares he was being treated with. "So I think I'll give them a bit more time to cool off."
Sephiroth twitched, but said nothing. Okay...so the pretty subject of his dubious affections wasn't just a sadistic little bitch. He was a homicidal, puppy killing sadistic little bitch. Recently he had been gathering quite a bit of unwanted info on this guy.
"Besides, I was planning on giving Seph here a surprise."
The mention of his name caused the white haired man to look up and for someone with such good reflexes, it took him a while to realize that Genesis was pushing him out of the room. "Genesis, what are you-"
"We." He emphasized that word. "Are going on a date. It will be an utterly splendid date and I swear, if you don't at least LOOK like you're enjoying yourself, I will kill you in your sleep." Honestly, why was he still smiling so nicely when he's saying this?
Either way, Sephiroth-who had never in the history of ever been crept out- was thoroughly crept out. Why was it he always went for the insane and strange haired? (cough#CLOUD#cough...but that comes in another layer of spatial coordinates) Besides, he can't possibly hurt Genny's pretty face without hating himself for it for the rest of his life. Like I said, he was too pretty.
"Can you at least tell me what we're going to do-?"
Genesis told him to shut up and walk. "Sorry, but I don't fancy pushing a ton's worth of Sephiroth and unnaturally heavy armor the entire way." A pause. "Bye Angeal."
Angeal gave a half hearted wave, sending Sephiroth a sympathetic glance that practically spelled Your days are numbered, my fellow sufferer of Genesis Rhapsodos' presence.
**
A restaurant. They stopped at a restaurant. A surprisingly ORDINARY restaurant, putting aside the prices that surmounted to more money than one can make in the lottery per dish. No seriously, WHAT THE HELL. Even he could hardly afford to go here and HE was filthy rich from all the money that Shinra poured like water onto him.
Apparently Genesis was too. Even if he wasn't a 1st class SOLDIER and even if he didn't persuade (with the helpful aid of a machine gun, probably) some of the technicians back at Shinra to illegally hack into numerous bank accounts and withdraw insanely large amounts of money for him, there was still the fact that his parents were also filthy rich and doting to a fault.
And yet...there was still a reservation list. 3 months. How the hell did Midgar have so many rich bastards? "Let me guess. You didn't make reservations, did you?" Sephiroth said flatly and Genesis shrugged.
"No, but it's alright. The person in charge is a male."
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at the illogical reason. "Your point being?"
"Well if it was a female, then I wouldn't even bother threatening her." Genesis explained. "And no, it's not chivalry. I just don't want to get within 10 feet near one. To avoid getting STDs."
STDs? Is this guy stupid? "Genesis, you can't get STDs from mere physical contact with women. Where in the world do you get these idiotic notions?" Sephiroth snapped. "In fact, do you know what STDs even stand for?"
"Strawberry Tart Disorder, where you get an unnatural obsession with eating strawberry tarts." He responded. "...and I hate strawberries."
(Apparently that didn't stop him from dressing up like one; really, all that red...)
Okay, so not only was this guy a homicidal, puppy killing sadistic little bitch. He's a homicidal, puppy killing sadistic and completely retarded little bitch who's scared of girls and hates strawberries.
A while and a manager threatened with bodily harm later found the two happily (well, something like that) seated in a cozy little corner with personal space and very soft chairs. In actuality, only Genesis was cheerfully flipping through his pages of LOVELESS while the other was glaring holes into the cover of the menu and cursing the validity of his taste in men.
Come to think of it, it was 11 o'clock in the morning. Was this supposed to be breakfast or lunch?
"It can be neither or either." Genesis responded poetically to the query. "But I suppose it'd be lunch since I doubt either of us drinks alcohol in the morning. By the way, do you like Wutai's sake? I heard it's very popular here."
He frostily replied. "I don't drink." He was then forced to immediately reconsider his response upon seeing the semi hurt expression making its way on Genesis' face. Which was indeed adorable to an impossible extent. "No...really...I don't drink."
"Hm, didn't think it'd work on you." The auburn haired SOLDIER sighed. "Shame. It works perfectly well on Angeal." So it really wasn't sincere after all. "No matter. I have other means."
Sephiroth smiled sarcastically. "Really? I'd like to hear them."
A brief pause.
"Do you know how much your hair is worth online these days, Seph?" At the mention of his hair, Sephiroth could feel the color draining from his face. "It's alright. You'll still look-"
"Yes, I love Wutain sake." Sephiroth said through gritted teeth. "I drink it all the time."
His diabolical companion complacently leaned back in his chair. "Great. I hope you don't mind if I order five or so bottles."
You had better be grateful for this. Sephiroth mentally told his lovely long hair. Then he realized that he was talking to his hair and made a note to see a psychologist as soon as possible.
**
Since Genesis drank more often than himself, Sephiroth wasn't surprised to find that he had more alcohol tolerance. Still, the General didn't appreciate having to be half supported, half dragged from the place, unable to make half a step without tripping over his feet. So when Genesis announced that they were going to a carnival and he WILL enjoy it or be KIA'd in the most gruesome ways possible, Sephiroth could only mutter. "Now you're just screwing with me."
Genesis clicked his tongue in annoyance. "I've been doing that all day and now you just notice?"
Of course, Sephiroth knew fully well that Genesis could easily best him in combat when he's intoxicated in such a manner. And besides, being KIA'd in battle was one thing. But being KIA'd on a date was just plain wrong. "They don't even have carnivals at this time of the year, Genesis."
In response, Genesis pointed a gloved finger towards one direction or another and Sephiroth could only confirm in disbelief the sparky banners and huge ass ferry wheels and roller coasters and other signs that indicated the presence of a carnival. "The owner was quite kind enough to come a few months early. Pleasant man, I must say."
Sephiroth suddenly felt like throwing up.
**
Even if the both of them weren't famous, famous people who were known just about everywhere, Sephiroth suspected that they STILL would be stared at because carnivals were hardly suited for two fully grown men, one of which was intoxicated to a certain point and the other of which wore dangly earrings that couldn't be often found in members of the male gender.
"I'm surprised you could still think normally, Seph. Most others would have been reduced to puddles of blabbering liquid by now."
Sephiroth merely glared sullenly, feeling distinctly miserable. He probably would have said something, but at the moment Genesis was trying to shove strawberry flavored cotton candy into his mouth, so he was too busy to do any audio activity of the sort.
"Do you feel better? Don't want to puke anymore?"
"No, thank you. I feel perfectly fine now." He instantly regretted the answer as his evil colleague lit up.
"Great. Now let's change that."
"What are you-"
"You see, there's this really, really, really fast roller coaster that I thought you might-"
His white haired victim groaned. "You ARE screwing with me..."
Genesis rolled his eyes. "Sephiroth, you have led thousands of men into battle against an enemy that's giving blood and teeth to rip you into millimeter in diameter pieces. I'm sure you can handle a 3000+ meter tall roller coaster that goes at a lung vaporizing 325 mph speed for roughly 20 minutes."
"Not when I'm drunk."
"Well, let's see about that, shall we? But I must say, I'm impressed. Not many people can tell that they're drunk when they're drunk."
At this point in time, the poor SOLDIER felt like killing something. Preferably someone whose initials was G.R. But Sephiroth was a nice guy. He loves his cute, maniacal, insensitive and tentatively labeled boyfriend of some sort. So for his pathetic, worthless sake, Sephiroth will be kind. He WILL sweet and patient and accommodating and understanding and...
...horrified to find that the roller coaster was LOVELESS themed. HOW IN THE WORLD CAN A CHILDREN'S CARNIVAL RIDE BE BASED OFF A PG-13 RATED EPIC PLAY THAT'S AT LEAST A THOUSAND OR TWO YEARS OLD AND CONTAINS SO MANY MATURE THEMES LIKE DEATH AND WAR AND DEATH AND...DEATH?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I don't know how they managed to pull it off either, but in any case I'm not going to complain..." Genesis' voice trailed off. "Where are you going, Seph?"
"The lavatory." Sephiroth lied through gritted teeth. "Excuse me for a minute."
A minute later...
"It's a terrible shame." He came back, dusting off his hands. "Apparently somebody released all the man eating display animals and we have to leave due to safety concerns. You know as well as I do that we can't possibly handle man eating beasts that almost reach our waist. So..."
"But-"
"Come on, Genesis."
Genesis looked around the suddenly chaotic ground with growing confusion. "I didn't see any display animals while we were..."
"You must have been preoccupied with shoving cotton candy down my throat. Now may we please LEAVE?"
**
Genesis was in a bad mood. Sulking, in fact. "Grow up, Genesis. Carnivals are for children. Don't start moping over something so trivial." Sephiroth huffed. "You never grew out of childhood fancies, did you?"
"Just between you and me? No." Genesis said, a bit hysterically, but perfectly fine and downcast otherwise. Though it was accompanied with a look that kinda implied something like Tell anybody and I'll kill you in your sleep.
Well, he has earned that look for a lot less before anyways.
As they silently walked back to the Shinra HQ, Sephiroth could feel the awkward tension deepen painfully. He sighed, cursing mentally. "Look. I'm sorry I ruined your so carefully planned out date which you've been planning for god knows how long. So can you please stop moping like a girl?"
"Did you just call me a-"
"No, you're hallucinating. I called you nothing."
Genesis eyed him warily before looking away. "It took a long time for me to get that carnival to come here..."
"Well, that bit wasn't exactly my fault."
"Drop it, Seph. Only you can drag dozens of killer animals back there in the time span of one minute."
Shit. He knew. The guy was sharper than he let on. "Well, you have to understand that..." Sephiroth hesitated. That I will not be caught dead on a LOVELESS coaster that really shouldn't be in existence. "...well..."
"Yes, I know. You will not be caught dead on a LOVELESS coaster. That you probably think shouldn't be in existence." His auburn haired colleague muttered irritatedly. Mind reader, this guy. Apparently deciding to ignore Sephiroth for the rest of the journey, he reached into his coat and pulled out his LOVELESS book and began reading silently.
Sephiroth internally groaned at his stubbornness. He absentmindedly looked around as if searching for some answer in the background. And...ho-ly shit, he did find one. "Wait here for a moment, will you?"
Genesis forlornly watched the white haired general disappear behind some corner. Within half a second, he was back. With a beautifully ripe and red apple in his hand. "...what's this?" He muttered, staring at the fruit being offered to him. "Bribery?"
With a sound crack, Sephiroth split the apple neatly in half, a small smile barely touching his lips. "Angeal told me something interesting a while ago."
"He what?"
"Something about wanted to share an Banora apple with me as a child...that sort of thing." Upon spotting the horrified and quickly flustering expression on Genesis' face, Sephiroth knew quite well that their black haired companion was in deep shit. Oh well, Angeal should be proud to be sacrificed for such a valiant cause. Maybe. Reluctantly, Genesis accepted the apple half being given to him and stared at it in some sort of dumbstruck and embarrassed stupor. "I don't have anything like a Banora white, so this is the best thing I could do."
"...oh...um...yeah..."
Sephiroth offered another small smile. "Maybe the next time you visit your village you can get one?" After his parents forgive him for killing their dog, of course. Seeing Genesis still staring at the apple piece, he asked. "Going to eat it any time too soon?"
This time, Genesis returned the smile before lightly taking a small bite from the fruit. Of course, then Sephiroth recalled too late that he wasn't particularly fond of apples in the first place. Oh well. Do this for the LOVELESS addict's sake. So when he ate the apple, he only choked once and it was so unnoticeable that Genesis didn't even notice.
Well, maybe he did. Because then he asked with a thoroughly amused tone and glint in his eyes. "You don't like apples."
"What are you talking about? I love apples. I eat it all the time." Said the guy who's planning to go wash his mouth with soap the next chance he gets.
Genesis raised an eyebrow. "You...you're a pretty shitty liar."
"Yes, well..." He muttered, trying to resist the urge to spit the taste onto the ground. "I wouldn't dare suppose that you'd prefer me gagging and making such a big..."
For someone with such brilliant reflexes, it took Sephiroth longer than what was necessary to realize that Genesis had in a rare gesture of affection pulled him into a abrupt kiss.
(But it still took longer for him to actually recover.)
And when Genesis said something that sounded a bit like I love you, Sephiroth swallowed his pride and said it right back.
"But you do realize that I will not let you plan ANY of our future dates from now until the apocalypse."
"Seph, you bitch."
**
Zack Fair, age seventeen, 2nd class SOLDIER stared at his probably mentally unstable superior with utmost perplexity written on his face. "So...you want me to pull a DMW move that'll recreate the apocalypse on a smaller scale?"
"Sephiroth never specified what kind of apocalypse, so yes. But try to make it as big as you can."
The bright youth shrugged and said cheerfully. "Alright!" And stood there. "Um...I need a target...."
Genesis frowned. "Wait a moment." He left Zack standing there and ten minutes later, came back splattered with something that looked like blood and dragging an unconscious Mr. Bob Miller (nametags don't lie) by the shirt collar. "Here."
Zack blinked. "Um, Sir....that's a person...you know, an innocent civilian?"
"Oh, sorry." Genesis pulled out a gun. "Want me to turn him into a corpse instead?"
"NO! That's alright, Sir." The black haired teen laughed nervously, slowly backing away. "Er...okay, let's see. Hey, Mr. Rhapsodos. Can we got somewhere else? Since it's the APOCALYPSE. The end of the world. Shouldn't I do it somewhere more dramatic than the Director's office? Like...the top of some building or something. Somewhere epic!"
Genesis paused and had to admit that he was absolutely right.
So that was why a Mr. Bob Miller woke up and found himself dangling upside down on the tip of a 2000 ft high building with view that would have been splendid if it wasn't probably his last.
Of course, this was five hours after Zack Fair insisted that these DMWs occur at random intervals in time and Genesis just gave up the idea and stormed off with the younger SOLDIER in toll.
The next day
Sephiroth nearly spat out his coffee when he caught sight of the morning papers.
SOLDIER ATTACKS INNOCENT PEDESTRIAN
Yesterday, Bob Miller-age 32-was found dangling from the roof of an extremely high skyscraper (measurements are still being taken). Later, he insisted that it was a rather feminine appearing SOLDIER dressed in red who had abducted him and based on more detailed description, it has been rumored that the SOLDIER was possibly Genesis Rhapsodos-who is the most girly SOLDIER around... and dresses in red. But mostly because he's girly.
Five minutes later an enraged scream filled the entire floor. "I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A GIRL!!!"
Sephiroth cringed.
----------
Omake #1
The next day's papers came and again, Sephiroth...actually, not again. This time, he actually DID spit out his coffee.
MEDIA OFFICE OBLITERATED
XXX Co, a renowned news company, was destroyed yesterday by someone who is strongly believed to be that one girly SOLDIER from before...
Oh shiiiitttttttt......
A large explosion. Sephiroth looked out his window and to his dismay spotted a distant building smoking heavily, obviously on fire. When will these people learn? His cell phone rang and when he answered it, a highly unamused Lazard voice flitted through the receiver. "Sephiroth...I thought I told you to keep an eye on him."
"Well, he...kinda got up early today, I guess."
Omake #2
"So you're saying the REAL reason that Genesis Rhapsodos abandoned was not because he was pissed that he was slowly turning into human rot, but because he wanted to send the world into shit with his creepy clone army so the next time he sees me he could say 'I can plan our dates again since the apocalypse just screwed the world ten times over'?"
"That's what the note said."
"So this is all my fault?"
Lazard clasped his hands. "Precisely."
So TECHNICALLY, it was all Sephiroth's fault that Genesis abandoned and eventually gave him information that'll turn him into a psychopathic nut who will try to destroy the world...and nearly succeeds.
In a broader sense, of course. Everything's always in a broader sense.
Omake #3
"So, Angeal. I heard that you accidentally leaked my so call childhood dream to the person whom I least wanted to hear."
Angeal gulped. "Well...about that...."
Note: Apocalypse is that one attack you can do when Gen's face appears on the DMW in Crisis Core. Just explaining that near last bit.
I'm sorry. Everything seems so weird and disorganized. Seph is a lot less graceful than what does him justice. Nevertheless...
Review? Please? With cotton candy on top?