As you already know, this is a work of fan-fiction and the usual disclaimers apply in full. Other people own Ranma and the rest of the Nerima Wrecking Crew. Other people own Exalted and Scion. Tack on the usual boilerplate here about OOC, SI, and the other warping, folding, spindling, and general mutilation of the source material. Siobhan and the rest of the Celestial Council are mine, though.

Dedicated to everyone who wanted me to continue Cestus Sol and had to wait for the publication of Scion before they got it.

Cestus Sol: Wyld Hunt

A Ranma/Exalted/Scion Crossover by the MadPanda

Error: Redo From Start

Destiny swayed in the balance for a moment before Ikari Shinji made his decision...and Lilith bellowed in triumph as Third Impact claimed Earth! Every human life was snuffed out in one apocalyptic rush of primal power. She grinned to herself, an all too human gesture, and permitted herself one simple thought:

"I win!"

A moment later, the impossible happened. A man interrupted her celebration by clearing his throat, walking out of the darkness, tapping his way along with an ebony walking stick. He stopped almost at her feet, looking up at her with a sour expression.

"You know," he said dryly, "no matter how many times I do this, it never ceases to piss me off when someone like Gendo fucks things up."

All seven eyes swiveled to regard this rumpled looking man in his tattered and dusty black suit.

"It shouldn't, of course. I know the routine. Everything goes swimmingly until some idiot gets their filthy mitts on what they think is a brilliant new plan to remaster the world, or ultimate power, or what have you, and then I have to clean up after them. Well, I hope you enjoyed yourself, lady, 'cause it's time for the ol' cosmic three fingered salute."

"What do you mean, mortal?"

"Game's over. Time to reboot. What, did you really think you and Adam were the end all and be all of this head-game? Not even close! You were nothing more than puppets dancing to the tune of an even bigger asshole than the one who set this mess into motion. And now I gotta do my job."

"Wait...!"

The man spoke the forbidden syllables of the Charm of Unmaking. The world stopped...ceased to be...all save for the man, and one other. He might have gasped in surprise, or started in shock, or dropped his cane, but instead he sighed and shook his head.

"Ah," the man sighed at his new companion. "You again. It had been long enough since you last loomed into view, I was beginning to expect you."

"That was rude," the peculiar creature said, with her leopard's forequarters, deer's hindquarters, and snaking neck. "You could at least have explained matters to the poor power-mad thing. Anyway, yes, here I am. I've been thinking matters over and I have a proposition for you."

"I'm not going to like this, am I?"

"No, you won't. But I also know how much you hate having to fix things whenever the likes of a Gendo Ikari or a Helmut Baranovic or a Sofia Huxley gets their grubby little hands on a nice little apocalyptic trigger. Too bad those pesky rules mean that the odds of that happening are about one in one. Y'know, the same rules that you are bound to enforce. Rules that forbid something like this." She held up a small crystal ball, lit from within.

"Is that…what I think it is? I thought they were…"

"Destroyed? They were. Let me put them back into play, Nyarlathotep. I'll personally keep them from fucking up this time."

The man ran fingers through his salt-and-pepper hair.

"I go by another name these days," he grumbled, to the creature's open amusement. "Lovecraft got it all wrong, as did those jokers who smoked up the Principia Discordia. What are you really after, Chaos?"

The creature flopped onto her side and laughed, idly skritching her belly with one forelimb.

"Like you, Old Greyface, I go by another name. As for your other question, I want pretty much the same thing you want: a different outcome. One where the Loom of Fate breaks and these poor little apelings are finally free of those pesky bindings laid upon them." She grinned, dragonish teeth glinting in the non-light of between. "One in which your services will not likely be required. You just have to let me change the rules a little."

He thought about this for an eternity.

"That's a very tempting offer. What do you get out of this? More power? Glory? The adoration of trillions?" He snorted and shook his head. "No, no, that's hardly your style, is it? Suppose I say yes. Suppose we rewrite the cosmos a little so that I won't have to clean up after anyone with too much heaven on the mind and a finger on the final trigger. Then what?"

"Take a vacation. You're overdue."

"Very, very tempting." He mulled this over for another eternal moment. "What's the catch?"

"There is only one catch, and that's..."

"Catch-22," they said in unison, and for the first time the man allowed himself a smile in his old adversary's presence. "All right, okay, fine, you've convinced me. Just don't screw this up, okay?"

The peculiar creature sketched a bow. "Should I fail, you have every right to tell me that you told me so, from now until the last heat death of the last iteration of the cosmos."

"I have that anyway," he replied dryly, fading away.

Left to her own devices, the odd entity rubbed her forepaws together and cackled with glee. This was going to be such fun! Cradling the crystal globe in one claw, she gazed at it with curious affection.

"How shall we do this, my old friend? Ah, I know! A little madness always seems to work best!"

With that, the Goddess of Hidden Flaws got to work, doing her best not to giggle as her plans took shape around her in the nothingness between.

Author's Notes

Yes, this took long enough. But between the publication of Scion and several conversations with my pre-reader (I have one, now), I have thought of a direction in which to take Ranma-the-Solar-Exalt. I'm sure he won't thank me.