Finding Reason
Story # 0101
by Kaline Reine

WARNING: This fic has a lot of things which you may find questionable, such as angst, depression, crack pairings, gore, violence, and probably lemon if you're lucky. Eventually it will get pretty graphic. There are other things but since I don't feel like typing them all out, you get what you get! Just be careful not to read if you can't handle whatever I may decide to throw your way. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto is the creator and owner of the Naruto series. I am only writing this for fun, and I make no profit from this work.

Chapter 1:

He could remember dying… And what a strange thought that was, in and of itself. To be able to recall even the slightest details should have warped his mind. He remembered the deer, and the look on the Nara boy's face. Shikamaru had laughed at him. He had been careful to remember the boy's name in order to exact his revenge later on. He'd been planning it for a while now, if he ever got out of the pit.

Everything was black, and dark where he lay… Colder than any grave the man could have been in. He was secretly thankful to still be hanging on, even after all this time. But his days were numbered. He had lost track of that number long ago. He could die at any time now.

All he knew was that Jashin would not allow him to go on living immortal like this, without payment in return. And Jashin was the god of death, who enjoyed pain and suffering in all it's many forms. He did too. He would lie there in his pit; his gravel; and think about all the things he did in his lifetime. Each face that he had killed flashed before his eyes. They weren't scary, but they were comforting. They made him smile. He had thoroughly enjoyed taking each and every one of their precious lives from them. It's what made his own worth living. The glory of serving Jashin-sama was a beautiful thing.

The one that haunted him more than the others, was one face in particular… The one that belonged to Shikamaru's sensei. That man was… He haunted him. Nothing had ever haunted him! Yet that face; it was everywhere. He would sigh and will it to go away, to let him finish dying in peace.

But dying for an immortal was no easy task. It was a slow and painful thing. He felt as if everything that he had ever known or been was being stripped away, leaving his soul barren. Today was the day. His last day of life, after he'd been buried by the Konoha Ninja. He closed his eyes, for once feeling at peace with the world. He could accept his fate.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Magenta eyes opened to spot a forest of green. Waves of wind billowed through the trees, and he was standing. Fully clothed, he grabbed his scythe. It was to his right. He'd thought the Nara kid had taken it.

'No one except my family ever comes here.'

Oh yeah, there would be no point in hiding it. Hidan wondered what had happened to him. His hands wandered over his body, to find that it was now in tact. And he was amazed.

"How the fuck did I get here?" He asked the question aloud, hoping someone would hear it, and answer him. But there was no one. Just him and the silence. "That fucking figures…"

He sat down for a minute, trying to decide what to do. He had been gone for so long, he was probably no longer an Akatsuki member by now. Idly, he wondered if Kakuzu had made it. Not that it mattered. It was everyone for himself. They had made that agreement long ago.

The best plan of action, was probably to try and figure out what had happened to him. And that was what he was going to do. He thought about trying to go back to the Akatsuki. That was probably his best option right now. After all, a missing-nin had nowhere else to go, and Hidan had nothing to do. His mission was over. His comrade was either dead or had moved on without him. And he could not wait to see the look on their Leader's face when he showed up.

Walking on for a few miles, Hidan grudgingly remembered Shikamaru's last words to him. He hated that brat! Part of him was glad to be alive, and part of him was freaked out by it. What if he really was dead right now? By all means, Hidan should have died.

'Maybe Jashin-sama brought me back for a purpose,' He thought, as he kept walking at a leisurely pace. 'I need to find out why.'

Surely, he had to be well out of the Nara's territory by now. He didn't know exactly where he was, but he knew that he needed to get back to Akatsuki, and it felt like he was going the right direction. Suddenly, a rustling noise to his right caught his attention. Shifting around, Hidan turned his scythe on them in fury, recognizing the leaf headband as soon as one of them came at him.

One minute he was fighting the ANBU black ops for his life, and the next… One of them had managed to take his scythe from him. Without it, he could still defend himself. But he hadn't managed to cut any of them yet, and as a result, there was not much he could do on the offensive. Hidan was still a bit dizzy from his newly discovered freedom. Or maybe it was all a nightmare? He couldn't be sure. All he knew was one minute, he was lying cold and dead in the ground, and the next… Here he was, fighting for his life once more.

Hidan fully expected to be chopped to bits and thrown back into the pit. But that wasn't what happened. His vision was blurry, after receiving a blow to the head, but he could hear their words.

"What should we do with him?"

"Take him to Tsunade-sama, I guess."

"Who is he? Where'd this guy come from?"

"Who cares. Let's just take him back and get on with the mission."

"Right…"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

When Hidan came to, he was in a very official-looking room. It looked like an office. A blonde woman with huge breasts was sitting behind a desk, and staring at him. She looked confused. There was an ANBU standing on each side of him.

"I don't know how you got out of that trap Shikamaru-san set for you, and I don't really think I want to," She began. "But let's hear your side of it, Hidan."

"How do you know my name?" He blinked.

"I am Tsunade, the Fifth Hokage of Konohagakure. It's my job to be well-informed."

Hidan thought for a moment. He was without a weapon, captured by enemies, and no one knew he was here. It would no doubt be best if he told her the unbelievable truth. "To be honest, I don't have a fucking clue what the hell happened. I was underground one minute, and the next… I was standing, with my body fully in tact. Then I was walking when I was attacked by your damn ANBU! And that's all there is to it."

"…I see," She shook her head in disbelief, her pigtails gently swaying across her shoulders. "Be that as it may, we have to decide what to do with you. I feel you may have been aptly punished for your crimes already, however… You can choose to redeem yourself by serving as a Shinobi for the Leaf Village… Or you can rot in jail."

"That isn't really much of a fucking choice."

"Just choose one," She reached for a small stack of papers. Tsunade rolled her eyes. Anything was better than listening to this lunatic's way of speaking. "Before I choose for you."

Hidan didn't need to think about it. "I'll serve as a Shinobi. I don't have anywhere to go back to anyway."

"I don't care to hear about it. You're on a sort of… probation. Until you prove your loyalty."

"And when the fuck will that be?"

"Lose the attitude," There was a clear warning laced in her voice. "Or you may regret it, Hidan-san." She chuckled evilly, and waved her hand in a signal to dismiss the ANBU guards.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

When all was said and done, Hidan was given a small set of uniforms, three changes to be exact. It was the standard Shinobi attire, until he could get his own or modify it to his liking. They were much more lenient in Konoha than Akatsuki had been. And Hidan had never liked rules anyway.

He would still be paid for the missions, as long as he completed them. And with each one, he was assured his past misdeeds would be that much more forgiven. At least by Konoha. It was a pretty fair deal, when he thought about it.

Hidan was given an apartment. It was pretty nice, and spacious as well. He was content with his new life, and he had been on several missions. It was by unspoken agreement, however, that the Hokage never gave him a mission with a certain member of the Nara clan. She knew better. Everyone knew what would happen. And so it was kept under wraps as to the whereabouts of Hidan's residence. It was also kept quiet about Shikamaru lived.

They would, inevitably, run into one another some time, some place. But if it could be avoided, it would. Tsunade knew it would be bad. But for now the missing-nin from Hot Springs village was perfectly content in his new life. And he seemed to fit right in with most people in Konoha, despite his temper.

He could still use his immortal powers given to him by Jashin-sama. Hidan took that as a good sign. He used his abilities not to hinder, but to aide the Leaf Village in their missions. He was assigned as an extra, who could join in any team where he was needed. By helping to kill those who had committed crimes against Konoha, or those they were hired to kill, Hidan was given a way to preserve his immortality.

The Hokage's voice filtered through his head from time to time.

'You can choose to redeem yourself by serving as a Shinobi for the Leaf Village… Or you can rot in jail.'

Sometimes he would look back on that day and laugh. If he had chosen jail, he would have died there. Somehow, he just knew it.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A/N: Not too long ago, I did a poll on my profile page asking what kind of crack pairing my readers wanted to see. This is the one that won. I hope you enjoy it, and I know it may seem confusing at first, but I promise it won't be so bad. I am not used to writing angst fics, and I can tell you now that this will be a very sad and angsty fic. Just letting you know, in case you missed the warnings. The updates for this will be slower than my usual fics, so I hope you can forgive me for that. I have a lot going on at the moment. But it WILL continue! I know it was short, but hopefully the next few chapters will be longer. I'll try. In any case, please review. I'd love to know what you think of it so far.

-Kaline Reine