Hammond insisted they take it easy for the next week, which was equal parts frustration and relief. Buffy knew that the others needed some downtime—apparently things had been more than a little stressful here on Earth and Jack really had almost gone on a suicide mission—but she hated long periods of inactivity. Plus, she was absolutely sick of learning Goa'uld already, although Jonas had been flatteringly impressed by how much progress she'd made in her three days aboard the cargo ship with the Jaffa. She never felt like she could complain about all the studying, though, because, after all, Daniel Jackson had always done this kind of study—and more.

At last the week was over and it was time for the team barbecue at her place. They'd had to delay it a week since she was off-world on the day they'd planned to have it. Buffy was nervous; she had been very used to having Scooby meetings at her house, of course, and since she'd been back she'd actually been living with Tara and Willow, but this seemed very different. Willow, Tara, and Xander were still pretty much kids, Anya was, well, weird, and Giles, for all that he was their mentor, ofte seemed almost like one of he kids.

But SG-1 were adults. Sam was a genius scientist and an exceptional soldier. Teal'c was a noble warrior and former slave, who had challenged the power of aliens he had believed to be gods. And Jack, well, for all of Jack's childishness at times, he was far more intelligent than he led people to believe, brilliant in combat, and had the same shadows in his eyes that she saw whenever she looked into the mirror.

What, exactly, did adults do at a barbecue?

For example, did she use the company plates, or the normal plates? What kind of beer did they drink? On top of not being a drinker herself, Buffy also hadn't kept her old house stocked with alcohol because she couldn't afford it. Now that she did have money, she didn't know what to get.

Should there be music? If so, should it be the music that was popular now, or oldies, or maybe some kind of tribal music for Teal'c?

At least she didn't have to worry about being embarrassed by the quality of her home. She'd been given a generous stipend to pick out furniture and had used some of the taste her mom had instilled in her over the years to decorate the walls.

She checked her watch. 4:45. They'd be here any minute now. Unless this was the kind of thing where people were fashionably late.

She peeked out the window just in time to see Jack's massive truck pull up at the curb. He hopped out and walked around to the back, pulling out a grill. She smiled to watch the lanky Colonel wrestle the large thing up the walkway to her house. Jack reminded her of herself in a lot of ways, and she appreciated the way he'd welcomed her to the team despite plenty of reasons for him to doubt her.

She opened the door and leaned against the frame.

"Hey, Jack," she called. "Need a hand?"

He beamed. "Summers! Come use your super strength and grab this thing, will ya?"

Rolling her eyes, she hopped down the stairs and took the grill from him, hefting it with one hand and carrying it through the house to the backyard. Jack followed after her with a tray of raw beef patties, hamburger buns, and a bag of charcoal.

"The others should be here soon," Jack said, setting up the patties next to the grill. "I was going to give Teal'c a ride, but apparently Carter's been at the SGC—big surprise there—so she's gonna drive them both over." He paused and examined her critically. She felt abruptly self-conscious, even though she'd chosen the most mature clothes she had. "You look nervous, kid. Relax."

"I'm not nervous," she said defensively.

"Uh-huh."

The doorbell rang. "I've got it," Buffy said. "You get the grill going." As she reached the back door, she looked back over her shoulder. "I'm not nervous!"

"I didn't say anything!" he shouted after her.

"Buffy, hey," Sam said when Buffy opened the door. She was holding a large bowl. "I brought salad."

"And I have brought Twinkies," Teal'c said, holding up a large box.

Buffy tried not to smile. "Twinkies?"

"They are a most enjoyable dessert."

She stepped back to allow them inside. Sam let out a low whistle. "This is a beautiful house, Buffy."

"Thanks," Buffy said, pleased.

"Is your sister here?" Sam asked. "I was looking forward to meeting her."

Buffy blinked. "My sister?"

"Aren't you the guardian for your younger sister?"

"Yeah, but I share her guardianship with my good friend, Willow. We decided that it would be best for Dawn to stay in Sunnydale with her, rather than move to Colorado."

"I'm sorry," Same said sympathetically. "That must be hard, being away from her."

They stepped into the backyard, where Jack had gotten the grill going.

"Actually," Buffy said, "it's really not. It's kind of a relief being away from them for a while. Things have been tense since Willow brought me back."

"This Willow was the one who performed the spell that retrieved you from death, then?" Teal'c asked.

"Yeah. She was sure that I was in some sort of hell dimension. I've forgiven her—mostly—for bringing me back, but things have been…rough. Actually, I'm seeing them tomorrow."

"Oh?" Jack said, dropping some patties on the grill.

"Two of my friends are getting married." Buffy shrugged. "I'm just going for the day. I'll be a little late for work on Monday."

"I'm sure General Hammond would give you more time off," Sam pointed out. "There's no need to hurry."

Buffy shook her head. "Things back home are tense," she said. "I wouldn't miss the wedding for the world, but I don't plan to stick around longer than I have to." Clearing her throat, she changed the subject. "So, Jack, I hear you're a Simpsons fan."

The evening went surprisingly well. Buffy was glad to find that she genuinely liked her teammates and enjoyed spending time with them. She kept the conversation mostly off of herself, which was a relief, and instead asked more questions about the others. After polishing off the burgers—and boy, could Teal'c eat!—they moved inside and watched Star Wars, which Buffy had nervously rented for the occasion. It turned out to be a good choice, as Teal'c gleefully quoted along with many of the lines, making for some interesting watching.

Jack even stayed after the other two left to help with the clean-up. They washed the dishes together, with Buffy scrubbing and him drying.

"This was good," he said, in his typical understated way.

"Yeah," she said softly. She hesitated. "Jack, will you tell me about Dr. Jackson?" The name hung in the air between them, the elephant that had been in the room the whole evening.

She knew he had been Jack's best friend. She knew that Jack must still be hurting over his loss. The Colonel just shrugged, his face expressionless. "What do you want to know?"

"What was he like?"

"Besides a royal pain in my ass?" Jack shook his head. "He was smart. Idealistic. He always saw the best in people, sometimes when he shouldn't have. He was…a good guy. One of the best." His voice was soft. "He'd have liked you."

"Yeah?" Buffy handed him a dripping plate, feeling her cheeks heat.

"Yeah. You sacrificed your life to save innocent people. That would be enough for him to like you. It was enough for the rest of us."

"You know that I'm not a saint, right?" Buffy asked. "I mean, most of what I've told you, that's the good stuff. I've screwed up a lot too."

Jack shook his head. "Who hasn't? Even Carter screws up sometimes, Summers."

"It's just…I'd understand if you weren't really happy with having someone else on the team, after Dr. Jackson. I want to know where we stand."

"Listen. Buffy." Jack made her look at him. "If I didn't want you on the team, you wouldn't be on the team. Period. I don't care what the president says. You're talented, useful, fun—heck, you're smarter than I am, not that that's saying much—and you haven't pretended that you can just come in and take Daniel's place. That gets you points. We're a tight-knit team, so it might take a while before you really feel comfortable—but we're comfortable having you here."

Buffy bit her lip, touched.

Jack dropped the last glass onto the drying rack. "I don't do sentimental very often, so don't expect much more of that," he said. "But if you ever need to talk…go to Carter."

Buffy laughed, a little wetly. "Thanks, Jack."

"No problem, kid."

He handed her a tissue.

"Hey, I don't suppose you want a date to the wedding, do you?"

Buffy choked. "Um, you don't mean 'date', date, do you?"

Jack smirked. "While you are very hot, Summers, I'm pretty sure it'd be illegal for me to date someone your age."

"Right." Buffy examined him. "You'd seriously waste an entire day flying to and from the west coast for a wedding between two people you don't know, just so you can show up for work a few hours late?"

Jack looked at her as if she were stupid. "Uh…yeah."

She laughed. "Yeah. You can be my date to the wedding. I'll send you my flight details."

Jack's eyes gleamed speculatively. "Or you could cancel your flight," he said. "I'll arrange a new one for us."

"Jack," Buffy said.

"Yes, Summers?"

"What's that?"

"Silly question. You've seen the X-302 before—I was there."

"Hammond was okay with this?" she demanded.

Jack looked shifty. "I cleared it through the appropriate channels," he said.

"Uh-huh. And you're telling me that I have to wear the skin tight space suit."

"Yup."

"Hmph."

After a bit more grumbling, Buffy went off to change into the incredibly hideous suit. She came back out with her lips set in a displeased frown. Jack was already changed and standing at the top of the portable stairs looking at the cockpit.

"C'mere," he said, gesturing for her to climb up behind him.

"Really, Jack," she said from the ground, "I don't think this is such a good idea."

"Summers," he said more firmly, in his "it says 'Colonel' on my uniform" voice. "Get up here."

Frowning at his tone, she climbed the ladder and stood beside him on the narrow perch, looking in at the cockpit.

"Okay," he said. "Now, these are the controls for the inertial dampeners." He pointed at one series of lights. "These measure the cabin pressure, and these operate the radar detection."

"Jack."

"Summers."

"Not that I don't appreciate the lesson, but why are you telling me this?" she asked.

"Teal'c told me about what you did on Anubis' planet, flying a glider to help destroy the stargate destroying device."

"Yeah? So?"

"His description of your flying was less than flattering—but he also pointed out that, for someone who'd never flown anything before and was only flying on instinct, you showed potential."

Buffy wasn't sure whether to be offended or flattered. "So…why the flying lesson?"

"You said you want to be a valuable member of the team, right? Well, every skill helps. If you can fly a glider, you might just be in a position to help us out of a jam someday."

"I see." Well, okay, that was…pretty exciting, actually. "So, this training is…"

"Useful," Jack finished for her. "And, not exactly sanctioned. So don't mention this to anyone."

"Right."

He went through the different parts of the cockpit again, from the beginning. Then, when she asked, he did it again. And again. He did it until she could name each part when he pointed it, and then he did it again just to make sure. He was direct and serious and Buffy was somewhat surprised to realize that he was actually a very effective teacher.

"Okay!" he pronounced. "Let's take her for a spin."

"Uh, Jack," Buffy said nervously.

"Don't worry, Summers. I'll be in the seat behind you, ready to take over the controls if necessary. You're just going to drive her around the tarmac a bit. I'll handle takeoff and landing. I just want you to get a feel for it."

She wasn't exactly reassured but decided to trust Jack's judgment. The controls of the cockpit were unfamiliar to her, and yet…instinctively, she felt like she had some sense of how things worked. She set the X-302 off at a slow roll, driving it around the tarmac.

It wasn't really true that Buffy was a bad driver, despite what people who'd seen her drive tended to think. Buffy was simply a very fast driver, relying on her slayer senses to avoid obstacles as she sped around corners.

She didn't have that problem with the X-302. The thing was cumbersome enough on land that she felt no desire to drive it quickly, instead taking her time and getting comfortable with it.

"Nice job, Summers," Jack's voice said through the headphones in her helmet. "Now we're going to take her up into the air. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to take the controls back. Then I'm going to walk you through each thing I'm doing, and you're going to do it on your side at the same time, as practice."

"But I won't actually do anything, right?" Buffy said uncertainly.

"Right. You'll have no control."

"Okay. Let's do it."

Jack walked her through it. He told her when to push what button, when to pull back on the pressure to a pedal, made her read the instrument panels back to him.

"You're going to love this part," he said, and she could hear the excitement in his voice. "Push the accelerator forward…now!"

She did, and the plane burst forward at incredible speed. Buffy let out a whoop as it lifted off of the ground, quickly attaining altitude. Once they were high enough in the air, she let one of her hands come down from the joystick, and was shocked when the 302 began to waver.

"What the hell," she said.

"Summers!" Jack barked. "Keep your hands on the equipment!"

"When did you transfer the control back to me?" she demanded. "I thought you were going to fly us there!"

"I never took control," Jack said. "Congratulations, kid. You just took off in an X-302 for the first time."

"Jack," Buffy bit out. "I hate you."

"Hate me all you want—just keep your eye on the skies."

"Are we going to break out of Earth's atmosphere?"

He paused. "Let's save that for the trip home, shall we?"

Though she'd never admit it to Jack, that flight was one of the most enjoyable things she'd done in a long time. The 302 practically flew itself, but Jack walked her through the minor adjustments she should make as its pilot. He was going to land it himself, but when she confessed that the landing had been the roughest part of her flight in the glider, he cruelly decided to make her land the 302 as well.

"I just don't think this is a good idea," she protested as they descended towards the Sunnydale covert landing strip. It was a very small facility that had been built for the Initiative, once upon a time.

"Focus," Jack barked. "Steady. Deploy the landing gear. Keep your eye on the altimeter, and stay level."

"Right," she muttered, trying to obey.

"Summers, slow down!" Jack said. "You've got to pull back a little, or we're going to plow right into the tarmac."

"Thanks," she snapped, carefully pulling back on a lever. The plane began to slow.

"Now, nice and easy," he murmured.

The plane bumped, and it jostled, and it came to a halt in one piece.

Buffy was significantly sweatier and more exhausted than she had been when she'd fought hand to hand against Bra'tac. "Please don't tell me I have to do that again when we go back," she begged.

"Just you wait," Jack said darkly.

Jack had called ahead for a car to meet them at the landing strip and they asked to be taken straight to the venue. Buffy was surprised by how many people were there. She and Jack wandered in and were greeted by a demon disguised as a man.

"Which party are you with?" the demon inquired politely, unfazed by their ridiculous flight suits.

"Um, both I guess," Buffy said. "I'm a bridesmaid. Do you know where I can find Willow? And can you point Jack in the direction of the men's room?"

They parted ways, Jack to change into his suit and Buffy to locate Willow, who was with Tara and Anya in the bride's changing room.

"Buffy!" Willow squealed, pulling her into a tight hug. "I'm so glad you made it!"

"Yes," Anya added. "We were beginning to think that you were not going to come to my special day, and that we would have wasted money figuring you into the refreshments."

"Thanks, Anya," Buffy said dryly. "And congratulations. Hey Tara!"

"Hi Buffy," the shy girl said, giving her a gentle hug.

Only then did Buffy stop to look at what Willow and Tara were wearing. She swallowed. "Are those…the bridesmaid dresses?" she asked, wincing.

"Aren't they beautiful?" Anya asked tearfully.

Buffy sighed. Under her breath, she muttered, "The things I do…All right, Willow, where's my dress?"

She took the unfortunate piece of clothing and made her way to the women's room.

Jack straightened his tie and smiled uncertainly at the…man?...sitting next to him at the bar.

"So, how do you know the happy couple?" the man said cheerfully, drinking something that didn't look like alcohol.

Jack sipped his beer. "I don't," he said. "I'm here with my coworker, Buffy Summers."

The man stiffened almost imperceptibly. "Oh," he said carefully. "You're here with Buffy."

A commotion at the other end of the bar drew both men's attention. It seemed the one of the guests was already wasted, and had begun to insult the appearances of the members of the bride's party.

"Disgusting, isn't he?" Jack's companion said. "That's the groom's father."

Jack eyed the drunk distastefully. "You'd think he'd show some more decorum at his own son's wedding."

Buffy came out into the reception area, looking like a piece of asparagus.

"Summers?" Jack said in disbelief. He noticed that his companion was inching away as she approached, before finally getting up and hurrying in the opposite direction. "Huh," Jack said, watching after him. He turned back to Buffy. "Nice fellow."

"How's it going?" Buffy asked nervously.

"Oh, you know," Jack said conversationally. "The groom's party insulted the bride's party, everyone's been heavily partaking of the alcohol, and this suit is tight in all the wrong places."

"Buffy?" They both looked up to see a teenager watching them with wide eyes. "You came!"

Buffy's smile softened. "Hey, Dawnie," she said. The teen rushed toward them, sweeping Buffy into a hug. She endured the embrace for a long moment before pushing the girl away to examine at arm's length. "Of course I came! Do you think I'd miss this?"

Dawn shifted uncomfortably. "You know Xander's still not happy with you, right? I mean, he keeps talking about you 'running away again' and 'abandoning your duty.' I've tried to explain it to him, but…"

Buffy frowned. "It's okay, Dawn. Xander's stupid sometimes. Doesn't mean I'm not going to come to his happy day." She hesitated, then, with less confidence than Jack was used to seeing from her, said, "Is Giles here?"

Dawn's expression darkened. "No," she said bitterly. "Anya even asked him to walk her down the aisle, but all he sent was a check to cover part of the cost of the wedding."

Buffy looked away. "Because of me," she muttered.

Dawn punched Buffy on the arm. "Hey," the younger woman said. "Don't blame yourself for Giles' stupidity. It's not your fault." Searching for something else to talk about, her gaze shifted to Jack. "Who's the old guy, Buffy?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Dawn, this is Colonel Jack O'Neill, my coworker. Jack, this is my sister Dawn."

Dawn's eyes were huge. "Are you dating?" she demanded. "Buffy, haven't you learned your lesson about older guys? First Angel, then Spike—"

"We're not dating!" Buffy said, embarrassed. "Seriously. We're just friends." Suddenly she smirked. "Actually, the only reason I let him come along was because he let me fly the plane."

Dawn gasped. "You flew a plane?" she shrieked. "Is he crazy?"

"Hey," Jack said, even though he knew that they sisters were mostly playful in their banter. "Summers did a great job. She's a natural."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "She's a natural driving a car, too, but that doesn't mean anyone wants to ride with her," she pointed out. She checked her watch. "Ooh, I forgot. Buffy, Xander's gone missing. I've been looking all over for him, so far with no luck. Can you stall the proceedings?"

Buffy looked at her own watch. "Dawn, the ceremony's supposed to start in five minutes."

"Yeah, I know," Dawn said. "Hence with the stalling. See—everyone's starting to go into the chapel!"

Which was how Jack found himself standing with Buffy at the head of the chapel, playing charades. He held up two fingers, then pantomimed a bald head. He kept at it until one of the not-quite-humans shouted, "Homer Simpson!"

"You're good at this," Buffy whispered.

Suddenly they heard a shrieked, "Xander's missing? What do you mean Xander's missing!"

Then a lot of stuff happened that Jack didn't really understand. An old man turned into some sort of monster and tried to attack the bride, Jack shot it with his gun, Buffy killed the monster, the groom came back but decided not to marry the bride, and the bride's party and groom's party started an all out brawl.

"Geez, Summers," Jack said once the hubbub was over. "No wonder you don't want to stick around here."

She smiled tiredly, but sadly. "This was relatively calm," she told him. "Though, I really thought Anya and Xander would work out." She sighed, shook her head. "Let's crash at my place for the night, then we can head back in the morning."

"But not too early," Jack reminded her, waggling his finger. "Hammond's not expecting us till at least 1200."

Buffy introduced Jack to Willow and Tara, both of whom were too distracted over the disastrous evening to look at him very closely. Then Buffy, Jack, Willow, and Dawn took a cab to Buffy's house. Buffy had planned to give him her room and take the couch, but Jack refused. Buffy quirked a smile at his ridiculous nobility, then announced that it was too early for her to sleep, so she was going patrolling.

"I'm going to bed," Willow said faintly. "Today sucked."

"Night, Willow," Dawn said. The girl seemed fairly traumatized, herself. She joined Jack on the living room couch. Only then did he realize that he'd been effectively railroaded into babysitting.

Jack stretched out his long legs, wondering whether he should turn on the TV or something.

"Buffy looked happy," Dawn said abruptly.

He blinked. "I'm sorry?" Buffy had definitely not looked happy when she went off to patrol. She'd looked pretty upset, actually.

"When you and she were at the bar," Dawn clarified. "Buffy…she was smiling and laughing."

"Yeah. So?"

She shrugged in the annoying way that teenagers have. "So, I haven't seen Buffy happy in a really, really long time. Not since before she died. Whatever you're doing under that mountain of yours, it's really working. It's obviously a nice vacation for her."

"A vacation," he repeated, eyes narrowing. He'd describe their work at the SGC as a lot of things, but "vacation" was not one of them.

Dawn misinterpreted his tone, maybe on purpose. She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at him. "Of course. She knows that she really belongs here, in Sunnydale, where all the vampires are. We need her."

Jack made a show of looking around the living room. "You seem to be doing fine. I haven't seen demons running amok, anyway."

"When Buffy was dead, we convinced all the demons that she was still alive by having a robot that looked and talked like her fight the monsters," Dawn explained. "The Buffybot was destroyed, but Willow managed to MacGyver a robot to do basic patrolling. It's not very human-like and can't think creatively or anything but it gets the job done. This year's been pretty slow so far, too, as far as demon activity goes. No apocalypses looming or anything. It can't last forever, though. Buffy's got to come back eventually. You can't expect her to stay at your base forever."

"Dawn, your sister is doing important work in Colorado," Jack said, annoyed with himself for being uncomfortable with the girl. He was good with kids, but as soon as they hit the teenage stage he lost patience with them. "She's not on vacation."

Dawn sniffed. "Maybe not in the conventional sense," she argued, "but she's on a vacation from her life. You think whatever you're doing is more important than saving the world from the forces of darkness? Because I really doubt it."

"What did you mean, when you said Buffy hasn't been happy? She seems like a cheerful person. It's hard to believe." He was examining the pictures on the walls as they talked, most of them of a younger, smiling Buffy or Dawn, as well as Willow, the absent groom at the wedding, and an older woman with brownish-blonde hair.

"Well, she was a happy person for a long time," Dawn mused. "Even in high school, when a lot of things really, really sucked she managed to stay happy. Well, sort of. Last year, though…things just went downhill. When mom died, it was a huge blow. And then, with Glory…You do know about Glory, right?"

He thought for a minute, trying to remember what Buffy had said. "That would be a no. Although, I think I've heard the name mentioned in connection with a troll hammer?"

Dawn frowned. "She hasn't told you much, has she? Well, Glory was a hell god."

"You mean a demon?"

"No. A god. As in, immortal, unkillable. Also, kind of insane, and really bitchy. Anyway, Glory was, well, she was after me. She was trying to return to her dimension, which would also destroy our world. Buffy spent months being hounded by Glory, trying to fight her, all while Mom was getting sicker. Then Mom died, and Glory caught me. She opened a portal into the other dimension, a portal that could only be closed with my blood. Well, Buffy went after Glory, and beat her into submission with a troll hammer—which wasn't nearly as easy as I just made it sound—but by the time she got to me, it was too late. I had to die. I was even ready for it, I'd made my peace."

Jack tried to imagine this girl, this teenager, calmly making the decision to die to save the world. It made his chest hurt. Kids, innocents, should never be in such a position.

"And then Buffy saved me, like she always does. She pointed out that my blood was her blood, too. She told me to live, for her. And then she jumped off of the tower and into the portal and was ripped apart. Her death, it destroyed all of us. Willow, Tara, Anya, Xander, Spike, Giles…I don't think we realized how much our lives were centered around Buffy. I mean, we knew that she was important to us, but we didn't really get how much she'd been the one keeping us all sane. We couldn't deal. So they decided to bring her back. To pull her from the grave. Only they forgot about the grave part, and she woke up in her coffin, six feet underground, after being torn out of Heaven. Buffy used to have nightmares about being buried alive, all the way through high school. I don't know if the others know that. She's always been terrified that she might be turned into a vampire. Anyway, when she came back, I was the one who found her. Her fingernails were broken, her hair was muddy, and she was about to commit suicide. I convinced her to stay. And because it was me asking, she did."

Dawn was crying. Jack put a tentative arm around her shoulders and she leaned against him. "I was so happy to get her back," she sobbed. "We all ignored the truth, pretended that she'd been saved from some terrible torture. And all the while, all she could think about was wanting to die again. That's why Willow and I were okay with her going away, to Colorado. We were losing her again, slowly but surely." She grasped the lapels of Jack's suit, meeting his eyes in sudden desperation. "I can't lose her again, Jack."

"I think she wants to live now, Dawn," Jack said softly, squeezing her shoulder. "It sounds like Summers has had a rough time, but she's been doing well, from what I've seen. Saved my bacon a time or two, let me tell you."

Dawn sniffled and wiped at her nose with a tissue. "Sorry," she said. "I'm not usually this clingy. It's just…with Buffy coming back, and Xander and Anya splitting up...it's hard."

"Hey," Jack said gently. "I've got a shoulder. What good is it if it doesn't get cried on occasionally?"

She laughed wetly.

"Hey," he said again, as if suddenly thinking of something. "Maybe you can help me out a bit with your sister. She's made a few comments that I just know have a good story behind them. She said something about 'Buffy and beer' being 'unmixy things,' for example. Care to explain?"

Dawn's eyes gleamed, with tears and something eviller. "You want dirt?" she said. "I've got loads of dirt. See, back when Buffy was in college, she got depressed for a while and started going to this bar with these obnoxious frat boys…"

Being back in the familiarity of Sunnydale's cemeteries was not pleasant. Buffy sighed as she weaved among a couple of tombstones, rocks whose positions she'd memorized years ago. She could walk through this whole place blindfolded, although that probably wouldn't be the best idea, considering the sheer number of vampires who passed through every night.

"Buffy."

Speak of the devil…She stiffened but didn't turn. "Spike."

"I saw you at the wedding, with some bloke who looked military. Thought you might come here, after."

"Spike, I don't want to fight with you. Not tonight."

The vampire came into view slowly, a smile on his gaunt, handsome face. "I don't want to fight either, luv," he said, touching her arms lightly. "Not when there are some much better things we could do…"

"No," she said firmly, pulling away. "Spike, anything you and I have done together was a mistake. I'm sorry. I should never have given in in the first place."

He drew back as if slapped. "Oh, sure," he said, sounding angry to cover his hurt. "You say now that you regret it, but at the time—"

"At the time I was confused and upset," Buffy said. Why had she come back to Sunnydale? Clearly it had been a bad idea. "I used you, Spike, because you were the only one I could talk to. I'm pulling myself together, now. Trying to figure out who I am these days. You don't figure into that. No one here in Sunnydale does. That's why I left."

"And yet, here you are," he said, crossing his arms, his face set stubbornly. "You didn't have to come back for the wedding, if being away was really doing you so much good. I think you want to be here, whether you know it or not. You belong here, Buffy."

"No I don't!" she said, loudly enough that any nearby vampires would have warning that she was there. Lowering her voice, she went on. "Right now, I don't belong anywhere, Spike. Except maybe back in Heaven. I'm trying to become a person who can function again, be a part of society. And it's hard, it's so hard, because every day is a burden, but I'm going to keep trying because the people who love me want me to live. Including you. Don't ask any more from me, because I won't give it to you. I can't."

He watched her cautiously, surprised. He was used to hysterical Buffy, or seriously-in-denial Buffy. This new self-aware Buffy was a completely different animal.

"You're really finding yourself again in Colorado?" he said at last, because he couldn't deny that she was looking better than she had in a very long time.

"I really am," she said, looking away.

"And when you come back, you and I—we can talk things over?"

"Maybe I won't come back," Buffy said.

"Maybe not. But I doubt it. Whatever you may feel about us right now, the Li'l Bit is here, and the Witch, and even the damned Waste of Space. And me, of course."

Buffy smiled, just a little, just the corner of her mouth. It was the first time he'd really made her smile since she'd come back to life.

"Tell me one thing. Willow, and the magic—how's she doing?"

Spike thought seriously before answering. "I think she's doing all right," he said. "I haven't seen her do anything, and the Li'l Bit's been keeping a close eye on her."

Buffy nodded. "Good night, Spike," she said softly, heading back towards her house.

He could have followed her, wanted to, but instead he watched her go. "Night, Buffy," he said.

Buffy and Jack left the next morning at 9 a.m. Willow and Dawn were tearful in their goodbyes.

He walked her through the takeoff again, although this time it was less smooth, now that Buffy actually knew that she was flying the 302. They got up in the air all right, though, and cruised for a while at the ship's normal speed before Jack said, "What do you say we take her for a real ride?"

Buffy hesitated. "You mean…up there?" She looked upwards and knew that Jack would know what she meant.

"Let's do it," he said, and instructed her on how to punch their speed up a notch and send them rocketing up through the atmosphere. It was a real rush to fly that way, zooming straight up, through and past the clouds, up, up, until they reached the blackness of space.

"Wow," Buffy said, looking down at the planet on which she lived. "This is amazing."

"Isn't it, though?" Jack said, admiring the 302 as much as the planet.

"Jack…thanks for all this," Buffy said. "For coming with me to the wedding, and taking me flying. For everything."

"Are you happy?" Jack asked.

She knew that he wasn't speaking about her long-term state of mind. He was asking whether she was happy right now. She was surprised to realize that her answer was… "Yes."

She could imagine his shrug. "Then, you're welcome. Any time."

Buffy grinned. "General Hammond's gonna be pissed that you let me fly this thing, isn't he?"

"Oh, there isn't a word in the dictionary for the way he's going to go ballistic," Jack predicted.

He was right.