Love Squared

A Grey's Anatomy fic by Gigi

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 9: Breaking News

A/N: I don't even know why I apologize anymore as it always takes me unconscionably long to update these fics. But I am sorry! It always takes a while for the Greys writing bug to bite since I stopped watching years ago, but I've at least got this chapter! I mean…you'll still like me enough to read it? Maybe? Please?

Derek went to the Archfield with Addison that night. He wasn't going to make her sleep in the trailer ever again. Addison was silent as she opened the door to room 2214. A plush, king-sized bed stood in the center of the room. Addison kicked off her heels and let herself fall onto the bed, slipping into sleep instantly, curled up around a pillow.

Derek simply watched her for a few minutes, wondering if she'd wake up soon for dinner. He stood awkwardly in the small hallway in front of the door, unsure of what to do next. He had a feeling he'd be unsure for a very long time.

xoxoxo

The next morning was equally as awkward. Addison, who used to be so comfortable in her own skin around him, took her clothes into the bathroom to change. She came out half an hour later completely ready to go. Derek wanted to go to her, wrap his arms around her, kiss her, and tell her how beautiful she was. He wanted to, but it was too soon for that. He knew she wouldn't appreciate it.

Addison was silent in the passenger seat as Derek drove them to work. She contented herself with staring out the window, not having the slightest idea of what to say to her husband. There was such an emptiness in her chest now that, although she more than regretted sleeping with Mark in New York, she hated herself even more for inflicting this kind of pain on her husband. A small, selfish part of her acknowledged with no small amount of bitterness that, had she refrained from using adultery to get his attention, he wouldn't have even met the woman he cheated on her with at prom. Right then, knowing that he hadn't cared enough about fixing their marriage to not sleep with his intern, feeling that lost and hopeless, she started to suffocate. Opening the window did nothing. She just needed to not be near him for a little while.

The second Derek pulled into the parking lot, Addison all but bounded out of the car.

xoxoxo

Alex looked up when he heard his name called to see Addison walking toward him. "Morning," he greeted, offering her one of the cups of coffee he held in his hands.

Shaking her head, Addison pushed away the cup regretfully. "I can't drink coffee for a while, Karev. But thank you."

"You're a surgeon; coffee is like water to you," Alex scoffed. "The only surgeons I've ever known to turn away coffee were pregnant ones."

Addison shifted uneasily on her feet as she dropped her gaze to the charts on the counter. Alex's stomach plummeted.

"So you and Shepherd are having a baby." He tried to keep the jealousy and bitterness out of his voice. Unfortunately, that just left a flat, empty tone, which was no better at hiding that he was upset by the news.

An almost painfully slow nod confirmed it. "He asked me to take him back," she whispered tiredly. "And now that I'm having a baby with him, I can't not try one last time to save our marriage."

Alex wanted to scream and punch a wall. He wanted to yell that the marriage was beyond saving, that Derek and Meredith had seen to that. He wanted to do so many things, but it was not his place. So he settled for a grumbled "I guess that makes sense."

The pair of them forgot they were standing at the nurses station, well within earshot of several people, who were none too happy to spread the baby news like wildfire. Addison's pregnancy would be common knowledge in the halls of Seattle Grace by lunchtime.

xoxoxo

All throughout rounds and her first surgery of the day, a small part of Addison's mind kept turning over the issue of her marriage. She knew from her own experience in Derek's position that all his efforts to make his indiscretions up to her would be for naught if she refused to accept them. If she was going to do this one last time, she'd commit to it. After all, he'd done it for her. They had even almost been back to normal.

She would give it a genuine try. She had to.

xoxoxo

By lunchtime, Alex looked as if he'd been chewing nails, practically glaring holes into the neurosurgeon's skull, which was approaching Addison with two boxes of what was clearly not hospital food. He wanted to kick something when he saw her look up and smile, any previous hesitation gone from her demeanor.

How could she have forgiven him so easily? Because of the baby? Having a baby didn't erase the way he hurt her. Bringing her good, non-hospital food didn't make up for all the unhappiness he'd caused her. Alex understood her need to try to fix things for the sake of the baby, but not by just ignoring the events at the prom altogether!

"Hello, Grumpy," Meredith greeted as she set her tray down next to him. He grunted, dropping his gaze to his food. "Can you come over after work and try to convince Izzie to get off the floor?"

Alex's eyes slid over to his fellow intern. "I wouldn't be of any help to her," he answered gruffly.

"You would be more help than Christina was." For talking about their severely depressed friend, Meredith sounded almost...happy.

A giant bubble of resentment suddenly rose in Alex's chest for Meredith. He'd always been okay with the mousy blonde, but now he could only see her as the woman who helped hurt Addison. He couldn't help but say, "So I take it you haven't heard the happy news."

Meredith froze with a fry halfway to her mouth. "What news?" Alex allowed his eyes to flit up to where Addison sat with Meredith's precious McDreamy. "She took him back?" her voice sounded hollow as she forced the words out.

"Here's the kicker: they're having a baby." Just saying those words made his stomach turn.

The fry dropped out of Meredith's hand. "You're kidding," she breathed.

Alex dropped his gaze once more and took a long sip of his soda, wishing it was Jack Daniels. "Wish I was."

xoxoxo

Addison was fully aware of the pair of interns staring at her and Derek. She tried to keep her focus on their conversation and not on how upset Al-Karev had looked when she told him the news. She still wasn't exactly sure when she started caring about her intern's feelings, but if she wanted to make it work with Derek, she had to forget anything other than a work relationship with Alex. For her own sanity, before she started analyzing her feelings about him. "So how's Preston doing?" she asked quietly.

Derek sighed. "He won't say, just that there's less pain today."

"Less pain is good," the redhead mused absently before yet another awkward silence descended upon them. Picking at her salad, Addison squirmed in her seat. They never used to have a problem with talking.

Apparently her husband had the same thought. "I hate this," he whispered so that only she could hear him.

"Me, too," she admitted just as softly. "I'm trying, Derek. I really am, but I can't forget about it."

"I don't expect you to," he insisted. Addison cocked her head to the side and took a deep breath at his honest words. "I know how much I hurt you, and I know I can't erase it. I can only hope to earn back your trust." And love, he added silently.

"It's going to take a while." When did her voice get so small?

"I know," Derek exhaled. He ran a hand through his dark hair, and for the first time, Addison saw a streak of gray peeking out of his hairline. He looked exhausted. She watched him screw up his eyes in concentration, staring into his salad as if hoping to find a solution among the lettuce. He must have found something there, because he lifted his head and asked, "What would you say to a first date?"

Addison felt her eyebrows raise as she tried to decipher what exactly he was asking. "What do you mean?"

"I mean we could use a fresh start," Derek explained, suddenly very excited. He shifted his chair closer to his wife's and held out his hands on the table as he developed his new idea. "What if we started over? I'll take you out on a first date; we'll get dressed up and learn about each other all over again."

A fresh start. The idea seemed almost laughable to the redhead, considering the fact that she was pregnant with his baby. How could you have a fresh start when you only had nine months to fix your marriage? The idea bordered on absurd, not to mention it sounded like one of those clichés you saw in those trite romantic comedies.

But...it did, on some level, appeal to her. She was sure that they were radically different people than they were on their first date 14 years ago. Learning who they were now...well that didn't sound so absurd. "When?" she finally asked, unable to stop the small smile at Derek's giant sigh of relief. He dropped his head in his hands, and when he raised it his hair was slightly mussed and he was beaming. He did that when he asked her out 14 years ago, too.

"Tonight?"

Addison nodded as she stood up. "Pick me up at 8." She flashed him the same hopeful smile that she gave him on their real first date and left to go scrub in for her next surgery. Maybe their fresh start was just what they needed.

xoxoxo

People were staring at her stomach. Addison almost looked down to see if she'd spilled anything on her shirt, but she still had some pride left. But people were definitely staring at her stomach as she walked down the hallway. "Well that was fast," she muttered under her breath just as she reached the nurses station and the grumpy intern leaning against it.

"What was?" Karev grunted.

Addison rolled her eyes. "People have been staring at my stomach since lunch. Deduce." She sighed and opened a chart, scanning the patient's vitals. "I bet they all think I'm using this to trap Derek. Hell, they probably think I made the whole thing up."

There was a beat of silence before Alex turned to face her. "If they do, they're a bunch of dicks," he declared, emotion finally returning to his voice. "The only people whose opinions matter are yours, Derek's, and whoever is smart enough to have you as a close friend."

A small smile twitched the corners of Addison's mouth upwards as she looked at him from the corner of her eye. "And what do you think?"

Alex's eyebrows shot up. "Does my opinion matter?"

He seemed genuinely surprised when she nodded. "I don't know how you did it, Karev, but you managed to wriggle your way into the status of 'close friend,'" she said wryly.

Alex looked at her for a few seconds. Addison could see the indecision behind those warm brown eyes, although indecision about what she didn't really feel comfortable about considering. The look faded from his face as he put on a supportive smile. "I'm happy for you," he announced. He'd clearly made up his mind about something; honesty rang in his voice. "I know you've always wanted a baby, and I think it's very like a mother to want to give your kid a stable family so it's great you and Shepherd are trying to fix things."

Silence. Whatever Addison had been expecting, Alex Karev's full support was not it. "Thank you," she breathed, but as they both turned back to their charts, she tried not to dwell on the pit that just appeared in her stomach.

A/N: I know it's a little slow, but it's kind of the pace that the story has to go. Love triangles and squares are never resolved quickly. Now I hope to whichever god or spirit you choose that you don't hate me for taking so long with this. Please review! I'll do a dance.