Title: Shatter

By: Reito-kun

Genre: Angst

Pairing: YamaGoku/8059

Rating: M

"It was almost ironic that it was raining..."

"So Vongola eventually decided to tell you about octopus-head, huh?" Lambo threw a glance at the silent man walking beside him. He noticed the slight furrowing of the older guardian's eyebrows and the quivering of his lower lip, but decided to not say anything about them.

Yamamoto had wasted little time after leaving the Decimo's office. Though he wanted to search for Gokudera right away, Tsuna had insisted that he let the medical team have a look at him first. Unable to resist the Tenth's order, he allowed them to clean the wound on his chin and treat the bruises and scratches on his body, and then immediately demanded that they let him see the Storm guardian. He would have broken down the doors of the infirmary if Lambo had not appeared, sent by Tsuna himself to escort Yamamoto to the Storm guardian's quarters.

A few moments later, the two guardians found themselves walking down the hallway where the guardians' quarters were located. Both were unusually silent—Yamamoto due to his contemplation on Gokudera's state, and Lambo due to a small pang of guilt. The latter felt like he was somewhat at fault for what happened to the gray-haired man.

"You know," Lambo began, hoping to overcome the uneasiness between the two of them, "he's been cooped up inside his room for three days already, and he's been waiting for you the whole time. His face really lit up when I mentioned that you had arrived from your mission." Lambo was not entirely sure whether his statement made matters worse or better, but he got his answer when Yamamoto's frown deepened. The young Thunder guardian sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

He struck the wrong nerve, obviously.

The two of them stopped in front of one of the rooms. Lambo took hold of the door's handle and glanced back at his companion. "Vongola told me I'll accompany you only up to here, so you don't have to worry about me interrupting you guys. And, if it helps, the other guardians aren't here either. Vongola arranged everything."

"Yeah." Yamamoto's throat was dry. Very dry. "Tsuna's like that."

"Well then..." Lambo pulled the door open and the Rain guardian looked into a dark room. "I leave him to you."

Yamamoto nodded and walked into the unlit quarters. He heard Lambo close the door behind him and walk away. Only when he could no longer hear the other's footsteps did he begin to move.

He could very well sense that Gokudera was inside the room. He could feel his presence coming from one corner. It was unusually faint, but Yamamoto had enough experience as a swordsman to be able to pick it up.

"Hayato," he began, "it's me."

He heard a shuffling sound come from the corner where he felt the other man's presence. "Baseball nut?"

Yamamoto would have laughed at the nickname if not for the gloomy atmosphere. "Yeah. I just returned from my mission."

"I know. The stupid cow told me a while ago." A pause. "Were you hurt?"

The Rain guardian touched the gauze pad covering his chin. "Just a small wound. I...got a bit careless."

"You stupid baseball nut...I always tell you to take care when you're out on missions."

"Heh, I know...Hey, don't you think it's a little too dark in here?"

It took a while before Gokudera replied. "No, it's alright."

Brows furrowed. "Come on, Hayato." Yamamoto stretched his arm to his left and felt for the light switch. His fingers lingered on it for a few moments before he flicked it open, letting the light flood the entire room.

Everything was unexpectedly clean and arranged. The bed appeared to be undisturbed, except for a black jacket lying on it. A number of books were stacked on top of the mahogany desk, beside pieces of paper that bore intricate equations and formulas and a pair of dark-rimmed eyeglasses. Perhaps the only things that stood out from the order of the room were the scattered pile of cigarette butts and the disheveled guardian that who was sitting among them.

Gokudera had a hand held over his eyes, and Yamamoto guessed that it was the first time the room saw light after three days. The latter grimaced when he finally laid his eyes upon the ash-haired guardian. He had considerably thinned, his skin was pale, and he had dark rings under his dull eyes.

Yamamoto swallowed. He began walking towards the other man, his steps hesitant at first. "I…heard from Boss…about what happened."

"Yeah. I figured as much…when the stupid cow came to see me he said you were in Juudaime's office. He was bound to tell you or sooner or later." Gokudera pulled out a cigarette from a box lying beside him and brought it to his mouth. He took a long drag before continuing, his eyes focused on the floor. "I'm such a pathetic right-hand man…making the Juudaime worry like that…"

"No, you're not." Neither of them knew exactly when Yamamoto moved, but the next second he was already in front of Gokudera, holding the hand with the cigarette away from him. "You're not pathetic."

The Storm guardian looked at him in surprise, before he smirked and replied, "What makes you think I'm not? I keep acting all brave and strong, proclaiming myself as the one most suitable to be the Juudaime's right hand and all that crap, but I can't even handle ki—" His eyes widened and he cupped his free hand over his mouth. Yamamoto watched as he tried his best not to cry (he was pretty sure Gokudera was biting his lip furiously) and simply held on to his other hand, which had long let the cigarette drop to the floor.

It did not take long for the tears to appear, no matter how hard he fought against them. They trickled down his pale cheeks. Slow at first and then gradually grew stronger, until Gokudera was completely crying. He laid his head against Yamamoto's chest and let his tears dampen his shirt.

"You're not pathetic," Yamamoto repeated, whispering gently into the other's ear.

"I…I envy you," Gokudera choked out. "Even Reborn-san…he recognizes you as a born hitman. And…I can't deny that either." He buried his face deeper into the other man's chest, tightening his grip on the cloth of Yamamoto's shirt. "That way…I wouldn't have to show anyone how much of a coward I am."

"No." The Rain guardian shifted slightly, allowing him to turn the smaller male's face upward. "Hayato and I are different. You shouldn't be saying things like wanting to be like me."

"W-why not?"

"Because." Yamamoto leaned down and pressed his lips against Gokudera's. The Storm guardian remained still for a while out of shock, but eventually began to respond, throwing his arms around the taller man's neck to pull him closer.

Yamamoto could feel the trembling of the other's hands, could sense the desperation in his kisses—I want you. Save me. He lifted Gokudera off the floor and gently laid him onto the bed before straddling him and resuming their kisses. Gokudera had stopped crying, but his tears still left marks on his smooth face. Yamamoto brushed the marks away with his thumb before pulling back and unbuttoning his shirt. The Italian made no protest when Yamamoto also unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it to the floor. He simply closed his eyes and let the Rain guardian's lips and tongue glide over the bare skin of his neck and chest.

Gokudera's pants soon found themselves on the floor on top of his shirt, leaving the owner completely naked in front of his lover. Yamamoto pulled back once again and let his eyes travel over the body beneath him. Gokuder had indeed gotten thinner and paler since he last saw him.

Nevertheless, he was still beautiful.

"T-Takeshi…" The smaller male stretched his arms out toward him, and he gladly let those arms pull him back down. He ran his fingers over Gokudera's poorly healed scars. He knew that they had healed on their own and that Gokudera had not let the medical team take a look at him after returning from his mission. He kissed a trail up his neck to his ear and whispered, "Hayato…maybe I shouldn't…you're too wea–"

"Shut up, baseball nut. I'm fine." Gokudera let out a shake breath. "I'm fine. Just do it."

"Hayato…"

"I said I'm fine!"

Yamamoto sighed. Whenever Gokudera used that tone of voice, it only meant one thing: there was no way to avoid his decision. The taller male, against his better judgment, considering the state of the Storm guardian, removed his shirt and resumed what he was doing. He focused his attention on his torso, placing slow and passionate kisses on his chest and letting his fingers run over his sides.

"T-Ta—!" Gokudera's body arched into his lover's touch. His hand shot up and grabbed a fistful of Yamamoto's hair while the other grasped the sheets underneath him. "T-there…Nn…"

"Shh…." Yamamoto made his way down to Gokudera's hip, pausing long enough to leave a mark just below a darkened bruise. "Hey, Hayato?"

"Y-yeah?"

"Promise me that once we're done, you'll have your wounds patched up."

"What the hell—?"

"Promise me." Stern dark eyes looked into hazy green. "Or else I won't continue."

Gokudera furrowed his brows at him, but nodded anyway. The Rain guardian smiled and lowered his head again, this time taking Gokudera's straining manhood into his mouth. He let out a loud moan, throwing his head up and lifting his hips. Yamamoto's tongue ran over his length, his teeth scraping him slightly. "T-Ta-Takeshi…"

The smaller man's moans grew louder as the Rain guardian's head began bobbing up and down, gradually gaining speed. Gokudera grasped the bed sheets tighter, his knuckles turning white. "A-ahh…" He winced when he felt Yamamoto's finger enter him, shortly followed by another. His toes curled as the fingers probed and stretched, the warm mouth still wrapped around his manhood.

"T-Tak…I-I…c-can't…"

Yamamoto stopped his ministrations and moved forward to place a kiss on Gokudera's forehead. "I need you to relax," he murmured. "We haven't done it in a while…and with all your injuries…" He gently spread the other's legs and positioned himself between them. "Hayato…"

"I'll be fine, baseball nut," the man underneath him insisted, though his words lacked heat. "You don't have to worry about me. I'm not a woman."

"Of course, of course…" Yamamoto bent down and meshed their lips together, entering his lover simultaneously. Gokudera's nails dug into the skin of his back, and the Storm guardian's slightly chapped lips quivered against his own. Yamamoto rubbed circles on the inside of Gokudera's thigh and repeatedly kissed him, hoping somehow to ease the discomfort the other man was feeling. Gokudera's pants and heavy breathing were the only sounds that filled the room, and the Rain guardian stilled and listened to his lover, waiting for a sign to show that Gokudera was ready for him to move. The pants gradually died down and pale, slender fingers gently pressed the taller man's shoulder blades, giving him the signal he had been waiting for.

Yamamoto placed his hands on the sides of Gokudera's head and gently rocked his hips. Gokudera let out a small gasp and grabbed his lover's forearms, throwing his head back in pleasure. The taller man kept his eyes on the other's face as he continued moving against him, controlling his own desire by keeping in mind the condition of his lover. But he knew he could not last long.

Not when Gokudera was clinging to him, calling his name over and over and —Gods!— asking him for more.

"Takeshi…Takeshi…"

He had dreamt to hear that voice again for so long, the images overcoming him at the most unexpected moments while he was away on his mission. Now that voice was with him, connected to a writhing body embracing his own. "Hayato…" He moved his hands to the slim waist and thrust harder, letting out a low grunt. In response, Gokudera's moans grew louder as the pleasure overrode the pain he was feeling. He wrapped his legs around Yamamoto and pushed back against him. He looked up at the man above him with half-lidded eyes and whispered something that Yamamoto did not hear due to the haze of pleasure in his brain.

The Rain guardian stared at his lover's face: at his long eyelashes, his reddened cheeks, his swollen lips, and the strands of gray hair plastered to his forehead. Gokudera's body rocked with each thrust, and his nails drove deeper into Yamamoto's flesh, eventually drawing out small amounts of blood.

Yamamoto could feel the heat pooling in his lower abdomen, and he knew he was close to his climax. His movements grew more frantic and he was pushing into Gokudera with so much force that the latter's hips were already lifted off the bed.

Gokudera suddenly let out a loud scream, arched his body and coated both of their abdomens with his semen. Yamamoto thrust a few more times before he himself came inside the Italian, grunting and then slumping against the other's exhausted form. They stayed like that for a few moments, panting before Yamamoto rolled off his partner and draped a protective arm around his shoulders. He pulled the weakened Vongola right-hand man closer to him and covered their naked bodies with a white linen sheet. Gokudera snuggled closer to his warmth and Yamamoto felt his breath against his chest.

"Go to sleep," he whispered. "You need to rest."

"Mm." Gokudera buried his head in the taller man's chest and began speaking after a few moments of silence. "That man…he used a sword just like you…"

The drowsiness that was weighing down on Yamamoto's eyelids suddenly lifted. It took a while before he realized who was the man Gokudera was referring to.

"He really got us surprised…came out of nowhere and injured some of my men…almost killed a couple of them too. We really…got confused…a Vendicare-level bandit…we—I thought we wouldn't be able to defeat him…" There was a small, stifled cry. "I didn't…I didn't really plan it from the start…I just wanted to knock him out and leave the bastard to the Vendicare…I knew that was also what Juudaime wanted…but then…he was too strong…and when I managed to get his sword…"

"Shh…" Yamamoto caught a lock of gray hair between his fingers and played with it affectionately. "I already told you. Go to sleep. Don't dwell on that anymore." He kissed Gokudera's forehead. "Sweet dreams, Hayato."

It was not long before the fair-haired Italian eventually fell asleep, his head resting on the arm wrapped around him. Yamamoto stayed up and watched the previously troubled face relax into an image of serenity as the man finally had the rest he had stubbornly deprived himself of.

"I envy you."

"Gokudera-kun has never killed anyone before."

"You…a born hitman…"

"I wouldn't want to show anyone how much of a coward I am."

Yamamoto knit his brows together. Despite that tough exterior he shows everyone, his Hayato was still quite fragile, someone who needed a person to assure and comfort him—and to protect him too. He did not know how wrong it was for him to wish to be like Yamamoto. The Rain guardian had to admit that he did feel the impulses of a hitman, and the relentlessness to kill (though he would rather choose not to, if possible). As Reborn had put it, he was a born hitman, someone who, underneath the smiles and the carefree attitude, could slit a throat or stab a heart.

Gokudera was different. He had been a lonely young child who grew up with almost no regard for himself, who willingly did everything for the first person he ever trusted and opened up to, and who opted to keep to himself sometimes to avoid the possibility of getting hurt. Even though the 20 year old man in his arms was different from that brash foreign exchanged student he used to know, Gokudera was still Gokudera, hiding behind an image he had created to protect himself, but still prepared to fight for those he holds dear should circumstances require him to.

And that was what Yamamoto wanted—needed—him to be: someone to protect and someone who is also willing to protect. Someone who reminded him of his purpose—to protect the family—whenever he was on a mission, and who was there to save and protect him from the emotional backlash of his missions and fights.

"Why do you look so down, baseball nut?"

"You stupid bastard! You're making Juudaime worry! Whatever happened on that mission, just forget it and go back to how you used to be!"

"Listen to me, stupid! I told you time and time again that you're not in a game! Something like that was bound to happen, so just suck it all in so I wouldn't have to worry about you!"

"No matter what you did or will do, that still doesn't change that you are Yamamoto Takeshi, a stupid, smiling idiot, a baseball nut, an excellent swordsman, the Rain guardian of the Vongola family, and the one I…"

Yamamoto smiled and brushed away the strands of hair that have fallen over the Italian's sleeping face. He stirred slightly, but remained asleep. The Rain guardian felt the drowsiness return to him. He yawned and shifted a bit to find a comfortable position to sleep in without interrupting the other man. He took one last look at his lover and smiled again.

Gokudera was his support when he was tormented by the blood shed by his own hands, when he saw himself as a cold-blooded murderer.

It was his time to return the favor.

"No matter what you did or do, that doesn't change that you are Gokudera Hayato, a hot-headed loudmouth, a pyromaniac, the Storm guardian of Vongola, the right hand man of the Vongola Tenth, and…"

The one I swore to protect.

The one I want to be with.

The one who strengthens me.

"…the one I love."

OWARI

12.04.08

"Squaring the accounts of Battle; washing away the Blood spilled, that is the requiem of Rain."

A/N: I admit the end was rushed, but anyway, I hoped you still liked it nevertheless.