Paper Hearts
Author: Verita Parlata
Rating: Mature
Characters/Pairings: Derek/Izzie; mentions of Meredith/Derek, George/Izzie; other Grey's cast members.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Grey's Anatomy.
Premise: Derek and Izzie's affair comes to light, and nothing will be the same.
Notes: This is the sequel to What's Done in the Dark. You might want to read that first to understand fully, but it's not completely necessary as all will be explained in this story.
Author's Notes: This is just a short prologue. I'm just trying to set the tone of the story, plus it's 1am here and I need to sleep. To everyone who's asked about this story, I hope I can live up to your expectations. Thanks for reading! :)
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Prologue:
"It is not reason that governs love."
-- Moliére
The sound of some inane indie-pop song blaring on the alarm clock on the nightstand proved to be an unwelcome intrusion to Dr. Isobel Stevens' slumber. Pulling her slender arm out from under her face, she groped in the darkness (her eyes still closed, her head facing the opposite direction) for the button to turn the blasted thing off. Her slim fingers tapped relentlessly along the top of the clock, Izzie mumbling something into her pillow, until she found the button and pressed it hard.
Her eyes were open now, full of annoyance and weariness, and she stared straight ahead toward the window. Though the drapes were drawn together, she knew it was still dark outside. There were no outside sounds that she associated with the dawn hours. Turning her head toward the clock, she saw the red numbers staring back at her - mocking her. Four-thirty, it taunted her; reminding her that she had to be at work in an hour and had only gotten two hours of sleep.
Izzie groaned - the sound a cross between a moan and a scoff - and closed her eyes again. The fatigue of yesterday's numerous surgeries coupled with the hours she logged in the clinic still clung tightly to her. She could feel it in her bones, with every ragged breath she took…
She should have just slept in the on call room and she had chided herself all the way home. She knew she would have to be to work at five-thirty after getting off at close to two in the morning, but she'd wanted to go home. Meredith and Alex were working the late shift tonight, and she would have the house to herself. She wanted to sleep in her own bed…without the unwanted distractions she knew she would get at the hospital.
The unwanted distraction in this case being a certain neurosurgeon with the most intoxicating greenish-blue eyes she's ever seen. Her eyes immediately snapped open when his face appeared behind her closed lids. He was giving her that mischievous grin while locking the on-call room door. She was pulling at his clothes, aching to feel the warmth of his skin next to hers, waiting to feel him bring out the primitive side in her soul.
It was four- thirty two when she finally used all her strength to pull herself upright and swing her legs across the edge of the bed. Derek Shepherd was to be off-limits as far as she was concerned (as far as anyone was concerned in Meredith's eyes). He was Meredith's soul mate. The two of them were on some kind of love rollercoaster that Izzie couldn't understand. They were together, then apart, then together again and currently apart. However, that didn't matter. Her friend was clearly in love with the man…even if she was confused about it… and Izzie shouldn't flirt with him let alone sleep with him.
But that first night they shared three months ago when they met in Joe's bar by chance and connected on a deep (drunken) emotional level was something Izzie could never forget. She knew in the back of her mind while it was happening that it shouldn't be… and every night they've shared since then was a mistake.
A mistake she's made over and over again without a second thought to how Meredith would feel should she find out. She couldn't imagine the fallout that would ensue not only between her and Meredith…or Derek and Meredith… but between her and all her friends. They would certainly see her as an interloper (of that she was convinced) and she would lose the friends she's come to regard as her family.
Yet, even still, something about Derek kept drawing her in. He was like a flame and she was a moth, drawn to the flame all the while knowing it would consume her and burn her up. Truthfully, that's how she feels whenever they're together. Whether they're having sex or laying in each other's arms listening to each other breath, she feels as if she were burning up inside. The tiny flame in her chest ignites and overtakes her whenever Derek is around, and she believes that he feels the same about her (or so she hopes).
"Stop it, Izzie," she told herself. Her eyes were closed while she tried to focus on not focusing on Derek. This was why she wanted to come home to be alone. She couldn't face Meredith if Derek was around, her body would betray her. She would stare too long at him, or smile too flirtatiously, and Meredith would know something was happening.
For the eight hundredth time, Izzie told herself she should end it with Derek. Should walk the other way when she sees him, shouldn't put herself in situations to be around him, she be polite and professional when called for and leave it at that. She couldn't imagine the look in Meredith's eyes should the other woman find out. Izzie knew she couldn't face that…could never forgive herself for breaking Meredith's heart that way. Meredith had opened her home and her heart to Izzie… she couldn't ruin that.
It had to end.
Opening her eyes, the clock mocked her again. Four-forty, it read, and Izzie rose from the bed to ready herself for one hell of a day.