So, one of the people I ramble mercilessly at about these chapters as I write them asked me an interesting question. "So, if Sirius isn't in Azkaban for murder, why didn't he raise Harry, since he's his godfather. Speaking of, where is he?"
The answer to that plothole, dear readers, is 'alcohol'. Sirius black was off on holiday in Florida, getting drunk and making out with various blond, scantily clad women the night his best friend and said friend's wife were driven into insanity and their precious son Harry was taken away by Mello.
"But Angela!" you must be asking. "Why didn't he come looking for Harry, or why didn't Mello go looking for Sirius!" This plothole also has an answer, of course.
Mello searched for Sirius, but after three weeks of being unable to find our lovely drunken Mr. Black, he gave up in frustration and just raised poor Harry himself. Mr. Black, on the other hand, could find no traces of Harry, since no one had known he was even missing until Sirius brought it to their attention, and even then no one knew who'd actually taken Harry.
Long story short, Sirius Black is a lazy, drunken git and Mello was too impatient to wait around for him to return so Mello could get rid of Harry.
The Wizarding World needs better Social Services. :D
Also, in irrelevant news, the song "fer sure" by the medic Droid is Mellomort's song. Totally.
Backyard Bottomslash, Mello decided, was the weirdest name for an owl he had ever heard of.
The owl in question however, was the best delivery owl he'd ever owned. Twice as fast as his old owl (poor thing with the lightning, Merlin rest its soul), and able to carry three times as many letters at once.
After spending the fourth, fifth and sixth day of the new Hogwarts year drinking and re-establishing old 'friendships' with fellow Slytherins and Mr. Hufflepuff Matt, he'd spent the seventh day lying in bed with a hangover the size of the United States.
Sunday, Backyard Bottomslash swooped into the window of the house and dropped a letter in Mello's breakfast cereal. He opened it slowly, drying it off with a muttered spell and reading it.
Mello,
It's Harry, obviously. Just thought you might like to know I've settled in nicely, and that Hogwarts is a nice place. Also, I'm not quite sure why, but everyone everyone keeps staring at me and whispering. I think I broke their sorting hat, because it changed its mind about what House I'd be in, and ever since then this annoying blond boy (He said his name was Draco Malfoy) has been calling me the 'boy who broke things' because of it.
Hermione Granger (she's a Gryffindor like me) told me that the Hat has never changed its mind before in the entire history of Hogwarts.
Isn't that strange that it'd do so for me?
From,
Harry.
xxxxx
Harry,
You break everything you touch, don't you? Sheesh, you're worse than an angry Kneazle on catnip.
Anyhow, I think you should just ignore them. Kids everywhere are the same and gossip attracts them like flies to a dead carcass. This Draco Malfoy of yours, just tell him I told him to fuck off. I'm pretty sure if you throw my name around a bit, people will leave you alone. (Your parents weren't the only people I cursed, you know? I'm pretty sure for awhile the Wizarding World was planning to go to war with me except that I didn't really do anything except curse idiots. The world's better off without them, you know. Morons.) Glad you like Hogwarts, I loved it too.
Mello.
xxxxx
Mello,
Draco doesn't believe that I know you. He says I'm lying to get attention. What should I do?
Harry.
xxxxx
Harry,
Kid's a fool. Ignore him. Curse him. Whatever, doesn't really matter, since he's just an idiot. How's classes going?
Mello.
xxxxx
Mello,
Classes are going fine. I'm really good at Transfiguration and DADA. I think that's your fault by the way. Professor Snape, my Potions teacher, seems to hate me though. I don't know why, since I never did anything to him. Do you know Snape, by any chance? I think you'd like him, honestly. He's mean and sour, kind of like you. But I don't think girls throw themselves at him like they did to you that time we went on vacation in Florida. ...It was Florida, right? Well, whatever.
McGonagall is about to teach now, so I'll write again later,
Harry.
xxxxx
Harry,
The guy sounds like an idiot. Snape, right? I'll stop into Hogsmeade sometime this year and have a chat with him. Have fun in class.
Mello.
xxxxx
Mello,
Okay. Can you send me more parchment by the way? I seem to be running out...
Harry.
xxxxx
Harry,
Sure, sure. I enclosed some in this letter. Should last you awhile. If not, write back. Be good.
Mello.
Letters are fun. -wiggles-