A/N: NEW STORY! HOPE YOU LIKE IT… READ AND REVIEW!

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Twilight… okay I know it wont work, okay?...I'll never own nothing but the plot, and that sucks…

Preface
(Edward POV)

How had I gotten myself into this mess? Why had I fallen for her? If only I hadn't accepted that stupid deal, none of this would have happened.
Well maybe it would have, but I can't help wonder how things would have turned out if I had kept my distance. For the better? Worse?

This is all a mess I hurt them both and I hurt myself. I loved them both, damn I still do!

I was selfish, stupid. I could have avoided all of this but yet I decided to try and do things right for me. I thought I had considered them,
I lied to myself by saying it was what was best for them as well. I twisted myself into believing she loved me too. Oh, how wrong I was!

I shouldn't be allowed to exist, I never should have been a part of their lives. That's all I'm here for, to hurt the people I love. I love him, and I love her
more than my own life. And even with the love I feel for them I couldn't force myself to do the right thing, leave them alone.
I knew it was the wrong thing to do, I knew I was betraying them, betraying their trust…but still I decided to continue.

I can't believe I was that stupid, selfish, delusional, as to believe doing that was the right thing. To think that 'having the truth out there'
would somehow make it better. If I had stopped thinking about me for a second I would have realized that this would only hurt them more.
But then again since when am I selfless? Since when do I care about anyone but myself?

If I'm being honest with me I always knew I shouldn't do that. My mind kept yelling at me to stop it, to let them be, to stay away from them, from her.
But I just wouldn't listen, I was too stubborn. I tricked them, damn I even tricked myself. I lied so much that eventually even I couldn't tell
what was a lie and what was not. I lied so much that when the truth came out my world was crushed. The world I had constructed entirely
with lies, the ones I told them and the ones I told myself.

But even in all of my selfishness and pain I can't help but regret what I just did. I don't regret meeting her and I definitely don't
regret the time I spent with her, of course I don't. Even as hard as I try to press myself into feeling regretful for what I feel, I can't.
Because no one should regret love, even if all it brings into your life is pain. If you had experienced what I did you'd understand,
you'd get why I did that. But it was still wrong to act that way, to say what I said.

They are gone now… not physically but in essence, at least for me. I wouldn't be surprised if they never talked to me again,
or if they decided to leave, to get as far away from me as they possibly can. I can't bring my mind to stop remembering their expressions,
their pain, the surprise, sorrow and regret, the anger in his eyes and the hopelessness in hers. It only makes me hurt more, but I welcome the pain.
I deserve it… at least now I can feel a fraction of what they did.

Why had my heart decided to love her? Hadn't it thought of the consequences? Of the pain it would bring us both? Of course it hadn't,
because love is irrational, it comes right when you less expect it and in my case in the worst way possible. Love is supposed to light up your world,
to make you feel happy, in bliss. To make you want what's best for the other person, to stop thinking about yourself and look up for the others.
Love should be reciprocated, but from what I just saw, that only happens in the movies, or in better circumstances.

I know you would have done the same if you were in my place. Or maybe not, maybe you'd have thought things through first.
Maybe you would have decided against trying to make yourself happy and give them what they deserve, happiness.
You could have sacrificed yourselves for the ones you love, I could have done that, but I didn't.

Of course I can see why she doesn't love me. I'm a selfish bastard who doesn't care who he hurts to get what he wants. She, on the other hand,
is selfless and cares for everyone but herself. We are complete opposites. Then why had I fallen for her? Well that's only because my heart is stupid.

Stupid enough to fall in love under impossible circumstances.

Stupid enough to fall for my best friend's girlfriend.

A/N: HOPE YOU LIKED IT SO FAR…THE NEXT CHAPTER IS READY SO IF YOU'RE GOOD WITH REVIEWS I'LL UPDATE TOMORROW…OR NOT MUAHAHA- Hmm-(clears throat)- sorry for that...
ALSO I'LL SUGGEST A GOOD FAN-FIC TO READ IN EACH CHAPTER… SO YOU CAN READ IT WHILE YOU WAIT FOR THE NEXT UPDATE.

This chapter's 'MUST-READ-FAN-FIC' suggestion is:
'The Foreign Hottie' by Humiex3

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