How Do We Kill Time at the Mall, Eh?

Title: How Do We Kill Time at the Mall, Eh?

Summary: The Killer Bass boys, along with Noah, Cody and Justin go to the mall in an attempt to help Ezekiel learn how to be a regular teen. How does going to the mall help that? By learning how to pull random pranks of course.

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Pairings: Duncan/LeShawna, Justin/Beth, Ezekiel/Izzy, Geoff/Courtney, Harold/Bridgette, Tyler/Eva, Noah/Lindsey, Cody/Gwen

Warnings: Humour, crazy pranks, all that good stuff.

Winter-Rae: I'm so sure this has been done before, but I thought, 'what the heck, I'm gonna do it anyway.' Hopefully someone gets a laugh out of this. Also a big happy birthday to....ME! That's right people I am 23 today. So I wrote a fic with my favourite boys doing silly things. Enjoy!

How Do We Kill Time at the Mall, Eh?

It was a boring day.

We all have those days really. Days that seem to drag on forever, with no end in sight. Well this was one of those days for Duncan and a few of his friends.

Right now they were sitting in the rather large living room belonging to Lindsey and her parents. It was the pretty blonde's birthday tomorrow and she had flown most of them out for her special day. The others would be arriving in the morning.

However, as part of her birthday celebration she took the girls out for the day, leaving the guys behind to occupy themselves. Not the brightest move on her part. But then again, it was Lindsey after all.

Duncan was sitting on the floor of the living room, carving at a piece of wood he had taken from a tree in the back yard. Tyler was trying to show Ezekiel how to do a new age handshake, including fist bumps, but he was not having much luck. Geoff was throwing a ball at the wall and catching it as it bounced back to him, a very The Shining moment right there. Harold and Cody were in a discussion about computers while Justin was annoying Noah by making kissy faces to himself in his mirror.

"Would you put that thing away!" Noah snapped at the male model, "I swear to God, one more kissy face from you and I'll tell Eva you were the one who messed with her barbells!"

Noah's outburst not only made some of the guys jump, but it also made Justin drop his mirror; which cracked as it hit the floor.

"No!" he wailed in anguish, "That's seven years bad hair days!"

"Isn't it seven years bad luck?" Geoff asked.

"Same difference," Justin said, he then glared at Noah, "Do you have any idea how long I have had that mirror? And what it meant to me?"

"No, nor do I care."

Justin gasped and then crossed his arms over his chest.

"You creepy little bookrat!" he said. Noah set his book down. It was on now. Duncan even set his carving down to see how far this could go. He was hoping that he might even help egg them on to get into a fight.

"Effeminate, camera whore!"

"Whoa, harshness," Geoff mused to Harold and Cody.

"Come on guys, don't fight," Cody said.

"Shh," Duncan hushed him, "It's getting good."

"Well at least I'm good looking!" Justin shot back, getting to his feet. Noah got to his as well.

"Justin...Oh my God, is that a zit?"

"Where!"

Justin quickly reached onto his back pocket for his compact mirror. When he saw that there were no zits on his perfect face he glared at a smirking Noah.

"Oh, you win this round, but I will get you."

"Keep telling yourself that Anti-me."

"Why are you guys fighting eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"Cabin fever," Harold told him, "We all have been stuck together in here for so long that our need to be the alpha male is overtaking us. No doubt if we're stuck in here any longer someone's gonna go nuts and try to kill someone. My money's on Geoff, no one would ever suspect him."

"Hey, I saw that movie," Geoff said, "Rider Strong is in it."

Tyler started to snicker.

"Rider Strong, that's such a funny name if you think about it in a dirty context."

He, Duncan and Geoff exchanged high fives as they laughed

"Let's go out and do something then," Cody suggested, "We can kill some time before the girls come home."

"You can't kill time Cody eh," Ezekiel pointed out, "It's impossible."

Geoff laughed and then threw an arm around the shorter teen's shoulder.

"He means 'waste' some time Zeke," he explained, "Hey let's go to the mall."

"No way," Harold said, "Duncan's gonna try and nick something and if he gets caught we'll all got to jail."

"I'm too beautiful to go to the big house," Justin pointed out. Duncan rolled his eyes.

"None of you pansies would last five minutes in juvie," he said, "I won't steal anything, let's just go already. I need something to do."

"But how do we kill time at the mall eh?" Ezekiel asked them as they left the house.

"Pulling pranks of course," Geoff replied as they piled into Lindsey's parents van. As for how they got it started without the keys...well Duncan was with them so they managed.

"Won't we get in trouble for doing that?" Ezekiel asked.

"If we don't get caught we won't," Tyler said. Ezekiel paled slightly. The girls weren't going to like this when they found out.

Meanwhile, the girls, who were at Lindsey's favourite spa felt the room grown colder.

"Hey, did you guys feel that?" Gwen asked.

"Yeah, it totally got colder in here," Bridgette said.

"It's an evil spirit!" Izzy said excitedly, "Either that or someone we know is planning to do something stupid and our female instincts are alerting us!"

"You're just being paranoid," Courtney replied, she was getting a pedicure done, and enjoying every minute of it.

"I don't know about that girl," LeShawna side, "My mom always said to pay attention to those instincts."

"Mine too!" Beth chirped.

"Why would your mothers want you to pay attention to smells?" Lindsey asked. Eva shook her head.

"The window is open you idiots," she pointed out, closing it.

"Oohh."

When they arrived at the mall, Ezekiel was certainly having second thoughts about what the other guys were planning to do. Somehow pulling pranks on the shoppers just didn't seem like an overly smart thing to do. But he was determined to try and fit in as best as he could. Izzy had said that hanging out with the guys would help him be the regular teen he had been trying to be.

"Is this a good idea?" he asked Cody, who seemed to be the most level headed of the group.

"Probably not."

"Then why are we doing it eh?"

"Because in my experience; when guys like Duncan, Tyler and Geoff are bored it's best to just tag along and make sure they don't get into trouble."

"So we're the babysitters?" Ezekiel asked.

"Pretty much, think about it LeShawna, Eva and Courtney wouldn't be too happy if they did something really stupid."

"But guys," Harold said, "Duncan just stole Lindsey's parent's van."

"I didn't steal it," the punk replied, "We just temporarily borrowed it, and you're all accomplices to the fact now."

"Big word for a dumb criminal," Noah muttered.

"Why don't we just shop like regular people eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"Because it's no fun," Geoff replied, "I hate going shopping with Courtney, she takes forever."

"You want long shopping trips?" Noah asked sarcastically, "Try going with Lindsey. I never met anyone who could make shopping out into a science, but she does it."

"I bet she models the clothes she buys though right?" Duncan asked, nudging him, "That must make the trip worth it."

"A gentleman never kisses and tells," the bookworm replied with a smirk on his face.

"I can't believe I let you mallrats drag me here," Justin complained.

"Someone stick him in the makeup aisle," Harold said, "He should be happy there."

"Should we split up to do this?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah," Duncan replied, "It'll be less likely for us to get caught if we're in smaller groups. Geoff you take Cody, Noah and Justin, the rest of you guys are with me. Happy pranking boys."

"I can't believe I got stuck with two dorks and a creepy party boy," Justin complained.

"Is the only thing that comes out of your mouth a complaint?" Noah asked him, he then looked at Geoff, "Alright party boy, do you want to do the honours and get this thing underway?"

The blonde grinned and rubbed his hands together.

"I used to do this all the time when my buddies and I were bored at the mall," he said. The blonde then started to dart down the different aisles looking as suspicious as he could. What really got the other three was that he started humming, rather loudly, the Indiana Jones theme song.

Justin smacked his forehead while Noah and Cody snickered.

Geoff, however, was having a great time drawing attention to himself as he hummed. He even started to climb up one of the shelves, when he was caught by a little girl about five.

"What are you doing?" she asked him. Geoff grinned.

"Looking for the Temple of Doom! Wanna help?"

The little girl cocked her head to the side and then backed away slowly. Once she was gone, Geoff rejoined the others.

"Extra points for scaring the five year old," Noah said, rolling his eyes. Cody was still laughing.

"Nice one Geoff."

Duncan, Tyler, Ezekiel and Harold were debating on who was going to go first, to show Ezekiel the basics of a good prank.

"Let's start with something small," Duncan said. He grabbed up a bag of M&M's and went up to the service desk. The girl there arched an eyebrow.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Maybe, I want to put these M&M's on lay away please."

"Umm, but sir, you can't put food items on lay away."

"And why not?"

"You're telling me that you don't have a dollar on you to pay for this?"

"And you're telling me that you don't know who I am, because I'm kinda a big deal."

Tyler and Harold were snickering as they watched this. Ezekiel however was very sympathetic to the girl.

"You ever see a show called Total Drama Island?" he asked her.

"Oh my gosh, you're Duncan!"

The punk smirked and winked at her.

"That I am."

"You were my favourite! Sure you can put these on lay away!"

Duncan handed her the item and then walked away.

"Minus points for trying to use your 'fame' to do it," Tyler said, "Bad form."

"Oh come on, it worked didn't it? Besides, that was an easy one just to show Zeke here how it's done," he then turned to Ezekiel, "Your turn home school."

Ezekiel looked around the area and bit his lip. He didn't want to bother any of the workers here too much. So he grabbed up a 'Caution-Wet Floor' sign and set in the carpeted clothing area. He and the others then watched as some people walked by and looked around, wondering what was going on. A few even pointed to it.

"Not bad Zeke," Harold said snickering.

Back with the other four, Noah had just left the electronics department carrying a bag in his hand.

"What did you buy?" Cody asked.

"A new ergonomic keyboard."

"Oh, let me see it."

"You weren't supposed to buy anything," Geoff scolded him before the two computer nerds could discuss the new keyboard. Noah held up his hand to silence him and looked at his watch.

"And three, two, one...now."

Suddenly a shrill alarm clock started to go off, then after ten 30 seconds another did, and another and another and another. The people in the department were rushing around trying to figure out which clocks were going off so they could stop them. However, all of the overlapping sounds were only confusing them further. Added to the fact that after every 30 seconds another clock would start to go off, it certainly wasn't helping them any.

"Oh nice work," Geoff said laughing, "Look at them run."

Noah smirked while Cody laughed, even Justin was snickering.

"Okay Tyler, you're up," Harold said, "What do you got?"

The jock looked around and then shook his head.

"Mine won't work yet," he said.

"Why not eh?"

"Just trust me, when the time is right, I'll do it."

"Fine," Duncan said, "I got another one."

The punk was in the pharmaceutical aisle, grabbing up boxes of different types of condoms.

"I serious doubt you and LeShawna need that many," Tyler said. Duncan flipped him off.

"You're so funny," he said sarcastically. He then started to place them into the carts of people who weren't paying attention.

One was a young father with his seven year old son.

"Daddy?" the little boy asked, picking up the box, "What are these for."

The four trouble makers watched as the father's eyes widened in panic. He grabbed the box away from the child and set them on the shelf.

"They're...uh...special balloons," he replied quickly. The boy smiled.

"I want them!" he said, "Look, they come in different colours too!"

"No."

Tyler was trying to suppress his laughter as best as he could while Duncan smirked.

"Beat that," he said to the other three.

"I do have that beat," Harold said. However an announcement suddenly came over the loud speaker.

"Will the young man throwing bouncy balls in the children's toys aisle, please stop."

That's when Tyler's prank came into play. The jock screamed and fell to the floor, assuming the fetal position.

"NO, NO, NO!" he wailed, "It's those voices again! They're back!"

"Oh snap!" Duncan said while laughing. He grabbed Harold and Ezekiel and pulled them away from Tyler.

"Is he okay?" Ezekiel asked, sounding concerned for his friend.

"He's fine," Harold assured him, "It was just a joke."

A few moments later Tyler joined them, looking pretty please with himself.

"Nice one jock boy," Duncan said as they exchanged a fist bump.

Now the boy who was throwing the bouncy balls was Cody. As he did this, he would call for different Pokémon to come out.

"Pikachu, I choose you!" he said hurtling the ball down the aisle, narrowing missing one of the workers.

"Sir, will you please stop?" the worker said.

"Why won't they work?" Cody asked, sounding distressed, "Charmander! Jigglypuff! Squirtle! Damn Pokémon why have you forsaken me!"

"Sir!"

Cody dropped the balls and then high tailed it out of the toy section before the worker could chase after him.

"You're such a nerd," Justin told him when he found them.

"Hey, it was funny," Cody said, "Did you see the look on that guy's face?"

"Pathetic," the model said, "I have something much better."

"Bring it on Anti-me."

"Harold, you're never gonna be able to beat Tyler," Duncan told the lanky teen, "Zeke, you got any more ideas?"

Ezekiel nodded.

He went to the clothing department and carefully hid himself in one of the racks. The other three were thoroughly confused but pretended to browse nearby, waiting to see what would happen.

The first person to come looking through Ezekiel's rack was a middle aged lady. She picked up a red shirt and looked it over.

"Oh no," they heard Ezekiel's voice pop up, "Not that one eh. Pick me instead, the blue one."

The lady gasped and hurried away. Then a younger worker came along to pick up the shirt and replace it.

"Put me down!"

She jumped and dropped the shirt as well.

"Pick me!" Ezekiel's voice chirped, "The purple one, I would look so good on you! No, the yellow one is more slimming!"

The worker looked around and then quickly walked away. Once she was gone Ezekiel left the rack, grinning.

"That was pure gold!" Tyler said, laughing loudly.

"The force is strong with this one," Harold added. Even Duncan nodded in approval.

"Nice work Zeke."

Geoff, Cody and Noah watched as Justin started to put his own prank into motion. Right now he was just standing around, looking slightly lost. He would occasionally pick up something and then set it down again.

A slightly stressed out looking worker approached him.

"Sir, do you need any help?" she asked him. He looked at her and his eyes suddenly filled with tears.

"Why can't you people just leave me alone!" he asked, "It is too much to ask?"

He then turned and ran off, sobbing hysterically, that is until he got back to the other guys. Geoff was doubled over laughing and Cody was as well. Noah was nodding in approval.

"Not bad Anti-me," he said, "But you made her cry."

"Did I?" Justin asked, peeking out. Sure enough the girl was tearing up, she removed her vest and name tag.

"I quit!" she cried out, "There's too many weirdos here today!"

The four exchanged looks and then decided to find the others.

They found them near the pharmaceutical department where Harold was about to execute his own plan.

"I think this should be the last one," Noah said, "Apparently we've been hassling the same worker this whole time."

"Harold's the last one," Duncan replied.

Harold was walking along where the anti-depressants were kept. He kept picking up certain bottles and looking at each of them, as if trying to decide which one to purchase. He looked distressed as well. So when another worker came up to him the guys were ready.

"Can I help you with something today?" the worker asked. Harold heaved a sigh and looked at them.

"I doubt it," he replied sadly, "No one else has been able to, but you're more than welcomed to try."

The worker bit his lip.

"I was just wondering," Harold started, holding onto a couple bottles of anti-depressants, "Do you sell guns here?"

The worker's eyes widened.

"Umm, no."

"Oh, see, I knew you couldn't help me."

The guys, from their hiding spots, could hardly contain their laughter. And since Harold kept playing the part, it was making it very hard for them to stay quiet.

"Can I help you with anything else?" the worker asked.

"Got any fishing line?"

That was it, Tyler and Geoff cracked up, causing both Justin and Duncan to lose it as well. Then Noah, Cody and Ezekiel joined in.

Harold, knowing he was caught set the bottles down.

"Thank you and have a great day!"

The lanky teen then took off at full speed, with the other seven following him. They quickly piled into the van and drove off as quickly as they could, laughing all the way back to Lindsey's place.

"Oh man!" Duncan laughed after they entered the house, "Harold, that was epic!"

"Harold totally wins that round," Geoff added, slapping the lanky teen on the back. Harold stuck out his chest and grinned proudly.

"Academy Award for best actor, goes to Harold," Tyler said. He acted like he was handing Harold an award who continued the act.

"Thank you, thank you," he said, "You like me, you really, really like me!"

"We're home!"

The guys jumped and quickly went back to their old positions from earlier that morning. The girls entered the living room and smiled at their boyfriends.

Lindsey perched herself on Noah's lap while Beth did the same with Justin.

"Were you boys okay on your own?" the blonde asked.

"Of course," Noah replied.

"No fighting?" Beth asked.

"We were very good," Justin said.

"Why do you look like you did something?" Eva asked Tyler.

"Do I?" Tyler asked, "The only thing I did today was miss you."

Eva rolled her eyes, but they all saw the small smile.

"Of course they behaved," Courtney said, "Right Geoff?"

"You got it babe."

"Well that's the main thing then," Gwen added as she sat next to Cody, who placed a kiss on her cheek. Bridgette and Harold were already glued to each other.

"Nice to see you again Mermaid," Harold said to her.

"I love it when you call me that."

"So what did you boys get up to today?" LeShawna asked after she and Duncan shared a kiss.

"Oh you know," he said, "A little of this and that. Mostly just hung out."

"Male bonding," Ezekiel added wrapping an arm around Izzy, "You know how it is eh."

Winter-Rae: Oh that was fun. Totally random, I admit, but I hope you all got a laugh out of that! Thanks for reading guys! Cheers and happy birthday to me!